PAGE ONE PIG | TOP STORY | NEWS DIGEST | FEATURES


Thursday
February 22, 2024


FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

>>> Cupcakes >>>

• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
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DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
AOC
Cancel Cultists
Kam-Ala Harris
Greta Thunberg
Antifa
#BLM
ANYTHING FAUCI
LIZZO
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore And Lizzo Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY
IT MIGHT BE A PIGSTER
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tophatpig
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We The PIGs are pleased as punch to debut our Illustrated Guide to PIGishness.
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Rise and shine and wake the Hell up, PIGsters. It's Top Story time in the PIGdom. This week, you'll be thrilled spitless to learn that PIG's Top Story isn't a window rattling, table pounding, rant. We're not going to re-tread or recycle any political, cultural, or election-related subject matter. It isn't any of our usual "They Suck And Here's Why" Top Story fare, either. This week, our Top Story is all about YOU, PIGster Sparky. That's right, YOU.

Our crackpot sleuth, that master of disguise, Agent Oink, has been out in the PIGdom, checking up on him, on her, on himher, and it. He also spent quality time checking up on YOU. His findings are, to say the least, troubling. I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you, that so many of you are in denial about your own PIGishness. According to Agent Oink, you're only slightly more willing to confront the PIGishness of your family member, your friend, your co-worker, and/or your neighbor.

After a memorably combative staff meeting/melee, we decided to give you a swift kick in the right direction, by giving you a heads up on some core PIGster traits. With all due apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, we'll understand if YOU call this endeavor, "It might be a PIGster."

If you've been paying just the slightest bit of attention during the many visits to the PIGdom, you're probably already on Auto-PIG. The following ought to come as natural as cracking open a cold one, lighting up a smoke, and wiping up the grease from that trans-fat feast, which you just finished, off your chinny-chin-chins.

For those among you who would shout "hell yes", when asked "do I need to draw you a picture, here's the Free State of PIG's 'Illustrated Guide to PIGishness'

We'll begin by identifying some core PIGish traits, many of which manifest themselves at a very early age. For example, when a PIGster tyke sees something they want, you'll know it.

A PIGish tyke's unrelenting quest for enlightenment will have the little seeker looking for it in unexpect places.

You won't need Tarot Cards or a crystal ball to tell you if your tyke is a PIGster.

The PIGishness is hard to miss.

PIGish people are notorious risk takers who know what to do when opportunity knocks.

They grab it by the ass and squeeze.

PIGIsh people love their country and don't care who knows it.

In fact they wear their patriotism proudly, openly, where everyone can see it.

It's a display that will make you stop and admire the glory of it.

PIGish individuals tend to be bigger than life, a trait which spills over into their life,in many ways.

From that thirst-quenching drink,

to that sweet board they ride down the street,

to their home defense system,

it's all super-sized.

PIGish individuals are amazingly flexible,

in some ways. But they're steadfast and unyielding,

when it comes to their core principles.

PIGish individuals have a robust sense of humor which comes into play at unlikely times. It gets the job done,

when dealing with an annoying neighbor. It's equally effective,

when dealing with certain doorbell ringing pests.

PIGish individuals like to handle their own problems, without the Nanny State's help.

Some will warn you.

Some won't.

We the PIGs hope you enjoyed our Illustrated Guide to PIGishness. If you're a veteran PIGster, we didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. If you're newbie, we have thrilling news for you. PIGishness is within your grasp,

if you're willing to grab it by the balls.

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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>
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PAGE TWO PIG - THE OINK OBSERVER

• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds
want to know, the answer is a click away.

>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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A PIG-ISH GRAB-BAG

• PIG PRATTLER
Start your day the PIG way
and get an earful of oink.

Read More >>>

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COMMENTARY: HAMBO'S HAMMER
• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.

Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You
!
Read More >>>

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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
REGULAR POSTS
PIG News Page Often
Top Story Often
• Girlie Man Award Often
• Hambo's Videos Often
• Hambo's Hammer Often
• PIG Prattle Often
FRESH PORK POSTS
• Dumpster 02/07/2024
• Sports 12/24/2023
• Toe Tagged 01/02/2024
SOS: Colonistas 01/01/2024
• PIG Pinups 01/01/2024
• Gendercrats 12/24/2023
• Porcus Pitchfork 01/06/2024
• PIG Prattle 02/07/2024
• PIG's Playlist 10/31/2023
Infidels 02/07/2024
Sound Off/Vets Voice 08/16/2023
• Educrap/Campus Crapola 12/29/2023
• Toxic Toons 11/29/2022
• PIG PISSED 01/09/2024
• Required Reading/Moses Always
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PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

• EYE OPENERS: Sometimes, A Picture Says It All! If You Have A Unique Photo, Cartoon or Graphic, Send It To: [email protected]
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AMERICA, WE CAN STOP HOLDING OUR COLLECTIVE BREATHS, IT'S OFFICIAL! SHE WILL BE AT THE GAME, WHEW
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Source: Page Two PIG

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QUOTE OF DAY

"One by one, (manager) Lou (Boudreau) introduced me to each player. All the guys put their hand out, all but three. As soon as he could, Bill Veeck got rid of those three.” — Larry Doby on integrating the American League in 1947

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WORD OF THE DAY
Colonizers (n): Ta-da! Simply put, Victors, historically, to whom the spoils are awarded.
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LAUGHS OF THE YEAR MILLENIUM
#1: "We have the highest ethical standards of any administration in history." - White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki
#2: "Kyle Rittenhouse shot a sex offender, a domestic abuser and an armed Communist. This kid is only 17 and he's completed half my bucket list." - The People's Cube
#3: "Don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up." - Barry Obama
#4 “ Teach your sons how to be men, before their teachers convince them they're women." - Unknown
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TODAYS QUESTION

Q: Wondering how many black players will take a knee during the performance of the black national anthem during this years Superbowl?

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TODAYS TASTY TID-BITS

Elmo Radicalized After Migrants Bused To Sesame Street

Babylonbee.com

SESAME STREET - With the nationwide migrant crisis continuing to make headlines and cause intense debate among lawmakers, a disturbing new report confirmed beloved local resident Elmo had been radicalized after migrants were bused to Sesame Street.

Witnesses reported noticing a marked change in Elmo's worldview over the last several weeks, as bus after bus rolled down Sesame Street before coming to a stop and opening its door to allow scores of illegal migrants to pour out into Elmo's beloved neighborhood.

"Elmo can't believe this. Elmo has had enough!" the furry red creature was heard saying as he watched yet another busload of foreign nationals arrive outside his home from the southern U.S. border. "Why are they bringing them here? This isn't right! They are committing crimes and making Sesame Street a scary, scary place to live! Elmo demands an explanation! Elmo is tired of this invasion of Elmo's country!"

Other residents also expressed concern with the repeated waves of migrant arrivals. "One thousand, three hundred, forty-five! Ah-ah-ah! One thousand, three hundred, forty-six! Ah-ah-ah!" The Count could be heard saying as he kept a running tally of the number of migrants that have arrived on Sesame Street. Though Oscar the Grouch was not in a happy mood, he did express relief that he would no longer be the only one blamed for the trash and general state of decay that would soon overtake the previously clean neighborhood.

Other local residents grew most concerned after Elmo appeared wearing a red "Make America Great Again" baseball cap. "This has pushed him over the edge," said Big Bird. "He was always a moderate before, but he's definitely been radicalized now."

At publishing time, Kermit the Frog had been detained by government agents for attempting to give a news report on the migrant crisis.

*****

The Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

• Las Vegas will welcome thousands of football fans when Sin City hosts the Super Bowl. When I'm there, the city makes me feel like both Trump and Biden. I roll into Las Vegas bragging and swaggering like a big, wealthy high roller, and three days later, I can't remember where I parked my car.

• CBS News cited a gambling website that's got Biden and Trump tied at forty-seven apiece. It's annoying to see them tear each other up on the campaign trail. Normally when you see a 78-year-old guy and an 81-year-old guy knocking the hell out of each other it's in the balcony of the Muppet Theater.

• Alec Baldwin will be arraigned in the Rust movie-set shooting in New Mexico this week. A film crew normally adjusts quickly to accidents and continues production. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was originally intended to be a slapstick comedy until the director yelled Cut! at the end of the first scene.

• The Weather Channel warned that El Nino's hammer storms known as the Pineapple Express are approaching California. The warm ocean-water generated system arrives every nine years giving climate change priests a chance to declare the sky is falling. Al Gore just changed his name to Al Nino.

• President Biden was pulled both ways by Mideast experts Tuesday over whether to attack Iran for attacking U.S. outposts through intermediaries. If you want to live to be 100, I believe you have to treat every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

• White House spokesman Admiral John Kirby told reporters Tuesday the U.S. will strike back at Iran on our own schedule, not Iran's. We all hope the Iranians understand. Right now Biden has a war with Ukraine to finance and a war with Texas to lose, maybe we can pencil in Iran in a month or so.

• Hezbollah leader Abu Hussein quickly stated Tuesday he'll no longer target the U.S. military after his drone strike killed three U.S. service personnel. Someone taught Abu the first rule of show business in the Middle East. One day you're all over the front page, and the next day you're all over the pavement.

• United Parcel Service missed projected earnings forecasts Tuesday and UPS laid off twelve thousand employees. It wasn't all bad news for the industry. The Postal Service reported losing six and a half billion dollars last year, making it by far the most profitable branch of the U.S. government.

• Reverend Jesse Jackson, civil rights icon and a 1988 Democratic presidential candidate, retired as head of the Rainbow Coalition. He's seen much progress in race relations. The bumper stickers for his 1988 presidential campaign read Run Jesse Run and in Alabama they put them on their front fender.

• CBS reported its hit series Bluebloods must be taken off the air next year in a shortened season due to costs. The fragmented TV marketplace and spotty ad market is forcing TV to operate as cheaply as possible. I could tell when I looked at the fall schedule and I noticed Dogg the Aluminum Can Hunter.

• Tesla stockholders were able to get a Delaware judge to hold up Elon Musk's fifty-six billion dollars pay at Tesla. His ingenuity and creativity has resulted in Tesla stock to increase tenfold in the last six years. If you miss 2 payments on his self-driving car, it drives itself back to the dealership.

• Fox News says only four percent of marriages are between a Democrat and Republican. There is a middle way now. Musk just came up with a Cyborg brain chip and there's hope it could someday create a president who will cut taxes, eliminate all speed bumps, and ban Taylor Swift from NFL games.

 
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TODAY IN HISTORY
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1948 Legendary Rocker Alice "Schools Out" Cooper born

1969 John Madden is named head coach of NFL's Oakland Raiders

1972 US Senator Strom Thurmond suggests John Lennon be deported

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  • KULTURE WATCH: TRIVIAL TID BITS
GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
Read More >>>
  • SPORTS: THRILL OF VICTORY!

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

• COLONISTAS: SOS -
SAVE OUR SOVEREIGNTY
INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>
  • KULTURE: STEAMING LOADS

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those that merit this odiferous award. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
Read More >>>


Google


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" I am proud to be called
a PIG. PIG stands for
Pride, Integrity, and Guts."
RONALD REAGAN

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CALENDAR

February is...
F**k We The People
Month

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That's What Brandon
Does Best
"Let's Go Brandon"

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VETERANS

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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
>>> Read More >>>

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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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THE LIBERTY DAILY
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DR. HURD
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TODAY'S TOONS
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BABYLON BEE
FAKE NEWS YOU CAN TRUST
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2024 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2024: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.