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Friday
May 17, 2024


FIRST TIME AT PIG?
• What is PIG?
• Who is PIG?
• PIG's Doctrines
• PIG PLEDGE •
I Pledge Allegiance
To The Way Cool Dudes
That Founded
The Free State Of PIG
Because PIG Is The Place
That Gets In Your Face
Regardless Of
Gender, Orientation
Or Race
• CUPCAKE NATION •
Too many Cupcakes, Basement Boys and preciuos Snowflakes invading your Safe Space? You're in the very most, PIGish Safe Space.

>>> Cupcakes >>>

• AMERICAN INFIDELS •
Wake Up, Infidels! The F.S.O.P. Declares The Infidel Insurrection Has Begun.
>> Caliphate This >>
ODE TO
BLACK LIES MATTER

There once was a thug named Brown,
Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown,
Six bullets later,
He met his creator,
Then his homies burnt down the town

GRAMMY TIME!
Why Have Granola When You Can Have Some Grammy Tune In.
>>Grammy Time >>
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DON'T TREAD ON ME
Tired Of Our Sacred U.S. Constitution Being Used As A Snot Rag Like We Are? Click The Link, Read On And Be Right On.
>>> Right On >>>
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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Their Very Own, Self-Imposed Safe Space?

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Michael Moore*
AOC
Cancel Cultists
Kam-Ala Harris
Greta Thunberg
Antifa
#BLM
ANYTHING FAUCI
LIZZO
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore And Lizzo Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY
ON THE ROAD - WITH PIG
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"When You Come To A Fork
In The Road, Take It "
- Yogi Berra

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*Publisher's Note: If this posting seems dated, it is. We dusted it off from our archives

Forget Jack Kerouac and his Beat Generation Road Trip, this week we’re dusting off and loading up the PIGmobile for a road trip across America’s fruited plains. Porcus and Hambo are on a quest to seek out and discover some traditional, but mostly unorthodox and out-of-the-way people, places and things. You’ll discover that some of our destinations are truly and uniquely American, while others will have us all scratching our heads, wondering, “WTF happened here?”

Before we go zig-zagging across the country, we’ll need to double check our essential provisions.

Our top priority items that we don’t leave home without, ever, include: Beer, cigars, tunes, fake I.D.s, IDGAS cards, bottle cap openers, a section of garden hose for gassing up, a tire jack for ‘borrowing’ tires here and there, tire iron for, whatever, jumper cables, PIGear (T-shirts, bumper stckers, adult beverage containers) and other items we’ll list later as deemed appropriate to each destination.

It’s time to climb aboard and begin, so tighten those seat belts, put on those crash helmets and hold on to your hot dogs as we venture forth so see how much of the REAL America still exists.

REAGAN LIBRARY

We’ll begin just northeast of Hell-A, Mexifornia in Simi Valley, home of the Gipper’s Reading Room, aka, The Ronald Reagan Library. This awesome spectacle is dedicated the last real…TOO REAL President we’ve had.

Here, as an American, you will no doubt feel humbled by his often imitated, never duplicated presidential legacy.

During your visit to Cowboy Country, you’ll get a glimpse of a chunk of the Berlin Wall, Ronny’s jar of jellybeans and even Air Force One. If you look hard enough, you might get a fleeting glimpse of the Shining City on the Hill.

An awe inspiring experience, it will leave you grateful to be an American. Where we’re going on our Road Trip, you’ll need to draw upon that as a reminder of what we were not so long ago.

COFFEE BREAK

Next, we’ll be motoring up to Washington State looking for some coffee 'cans'. On the way up Mexifornia’s I-5, we pass through the San Joaquin Valley. Once one of the world’s most fertile agricultural regions, parts of it have digressed into a barren wasteland at the hands of political-punks limiting water supply to the farmers…sad. Very sad.

Onward to Seattle, home of Starbucks, where coffee stand competition is cutthroat. Coffee wranglers use near topless, and bikini clad baristas and their perky cans to make our coffee break memorable.

With names like Cowgirls Espresso, Moka Girls in Auburn, The Sweet Spot Cafe in Shoreline, Bikini Espresso in Renton and Natte Latte in Port Orchard, you can tell, Washingtonians take their coffee breaks seriously. So does Hambo, who is on his seventh double espresso, most of which he ends up drooling down the front of his shirt as I had to pry him and his crumpled up one dollar bills away from the lovely, can-flashing Coffee-Tarts.

BORDER PATROLLING IN ARIZONA  

We’re now heading for some Arizona hospitality, with a surprise meeting with legendary lawman, Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio and trailblazing PIGal, Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer. After our meeting, a clandestine operation, we went straight to the Arizona/Mexican border to play Landmine Lotto in an effort to assist the Border Patrol and the Lametard’s over at I.C.E. We camped out and let the fireworks/festivities begin. Playing Landmine Lotto is a lot like shooting fish in a barrel, except a whole lot more fun and productive.

WE GOT HUNGRY

Our next stop was in Las Vegas, Nevada, new home of the Heart Attack Grill. Their motto: “Taste Worth Dying For.”

Heart Attack Grill is a hospital themed restaurant where the waitresses, (“nurses”) take the orders (“prescriptions”) from the customers, (“patients”) and a “doctor” examines the “patients” with a stethoscope.

We ordered up a Trans-Fat Nazi’s worst nightmare, their trademark Quadruple Bypass burgers, Flatliner Fries (deep fried in pure lard) and washed it all down with some butterfat shakes, instead of the beer and tequila they also offer.

PRO FOOTBALL/ROCK 'N ROLL
HALLS OF FAME

We stopped off at The Pro Football Hall Of Fame in Canton, Ohio, and still no Casey Anthony sightings. Bummer.

With the pending NFL lockout, we wanted to see up close the legends of football past that played the game for passion, rather than profit. We wanted to see those old warriors who, when injured, walked it off, or, played through the pain. Nowadays, a broken fingernail or even a bad hair day constitute a "player" getting on the disabled list.

They asked us to leave when Hambo went long in a post pattern. Porcus faked out a few security guards, going Hail Mary with an unopened beer can. Hambo caught it for the TD, right into the Knute Rockne display.

Oh well, Ohio also offers up the Rock 'N Roll Hall Of Fame, too, so on to Cleveland we went..

There, you will be thrilled to see some of the all-time greats from AC/DC and Aerosmith all the way to Frank Zappa and ZZ Top and everyone else in between. All are worthy of being immortalized, sure, but we had one question: WTF are ABBA, Michael Jackson and Madonna doing there?

Once again, we were persuaded to leave, after Porcus was caught playing air guitar with the Eric Clapton exhibit, kicking over The Who's drumset and looking up Madonna's dress to confirm just what gender she/it is, was or wants to be. We can't take that Porcus guy anywhere, now can we?

PIG GETS KIN-TUCKY FRIED

Heading to neighboring Kin-Tucky, where everything and everyone is 'relative,' we thought we would do some wedding party crashing. Sure enough, we spotted some of the locals in their natural habitat, right near the local fishin' hole, at a combination auto shop/saloon/justice of the peace. They were engaged in one of their long held traditions, which surpasses even NASCAR: Cousin Kissin', Holy (shotgun-style) matrimonial ceremonies, moonshine sippin' and 'coon huntin', not necessarily in that order, either.

Having had our share of crawdads, Granny's 'possum pie, moonshine and marriage proposals - more like demands - we left Jethro and Billy Joe Gunrack in the dust and headed north. Still seeking a Casey Anthony sighting, we head for the City of Brotherly Love.

PHILLY DELI GOES 'ENGLISH ONLY'

After visiting such revered, iconic and historic national landmarks like Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell, we got hungry...again.

We chow down at Geno's Steaks in South Philly, where we are greeted by a PIGish sign that warns, "This is AMERICA: WHEN ORDERING PLEASE 'SPEAK ENGLISH.'"

Joe Vento, the owner of Geno's Steaks, defends his policy by stating: "This country is a melting pot, but what makes it work is the English language," Vento told some whining city asshats:. "I'm not stupid. I would never put a sign out to hurt my business."

Realizing we were not in the Twilight Zone, but really in our Mommy and Daddy's America, we did cartwheels all the way back to the PIGmobile. Still seeking our first Casey Anthony sighing, we head for the Big Apple, where, hopefully, PIGish fun awaits.

PIG LEAVES A BITE MARK
ON THE BIG APPLE

Upon arriving in New York, the first thing we noticed was the 'Attitude.' New Yorkers are, by nature, quick to make decisions, aggressive, assertive, abrasive opinionated, outspoken and know what they want and don't want. Basically, our kind of people.

Inspired by the relentlessly snarky New Yorkers, We the PIG headed for 760 United Nations Plaza. We stopped just long enough to let it all hang out, by mooning the Black Helicopter Club. In no mood to exchange the requisite pleasantries with the NYPD, we made a clean getaway.

We paid a visit to Lady Liberty before visiting Ground Zero to pay our respects.

We also wanted to see where the real big stink was emanating from, and you guessed it. It's the proposed Monster Mosque that has many in an uproar, and rightly so.

Why will they put a Mosque right there at Ground Zero? If you think it's a place of worship, get over it. The Ground Zero Mosque is, in reality a victory shrine, which celebrates the murder of 3,000 + innocent civilians. It's a deliberate, in your face, insult, a pointed, painful, reminder that our Jihadikaze enemies are in our midst.

Will New Yorkers tolerate a victory shrine in their city? Will they tolerate a Ground Zero haven where Jihadists can plot their next move against us? Tolerate? Not a chance, but all efforts to stop the Ground Zero Mosque have been thwarted, by traitorous local officials.

Enraged, Porcus and Hambo brainstorm some countermeasures. Carpet bombing the Ground Zero Victory Shrine with PIG poop, sprinkled in with some of Hambo's Hammers and Porcus' Pitchforks, is, by far, their best idea. It is, after all, an utterly PIGish thing to do.


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• PIG's Revamped News Page
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of events.
Updated Any Time The News Is PIGish >>>
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PAGE TWO PIG - THE OINK OBSERVER

• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds
want to know, the answer is a click away.

>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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A PIG-ISH GRAB-BAG

• PIG PRATTLER
Start your day the PIG way
and get an earful of oink.

Read More >>>

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COMMENTARY: HAMBO'S HAMMER
• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.

Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You
!
Read More >>>

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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
REGULAR POSTS
PIG News Page Often
Top Story Often
• Girlie Man Award Often
• Hambo's Videos Often
• Hambo's Hammer Often
• PIG Prattle Often
FRESH PORK POSTS
• Dumpster 02/07/2024
• Sports 12/24/2023
• Toe Tagged 04/18/2024
SOS: Colonistas 04/10/2024
• PIG Pinups 01/01/2024
• Gendercrats 12/24/2023
• Porcus Pitchfork 01/06/2024
• PIG Prattle 02/07/2024
• PIG's Playlist 10/31/2023
Infidels 02/07/2024
Sound Off/Vets Voice 08/16/2023
• Educrap/Campus Crapola 12/29/2023
• Toxic Toons 11/29/2022
• PIG PISSED 01/09/2024
• Required Reading/Moses Always
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PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

• EYE OPENERS: Sometimes, A Picture Says It All! If You Have A Unique Photo, Cartoon or Graphic, Send It To: [email protected]
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HAMAS RECRUITS CLASS OF 2024
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Source: Patriot Post

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QUOTE OF DAY

"Be unapologetic in your masculinity, fighting against the cultural emasculation of men.” — Harrison Butker, Placekicker Kansas City Chiefs

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WORD OF THE DAY
CELLIDIOT, Hamboism
A clueless cretin who, routinely, bellows details of his life into that pernicious technological blight, the cell phone, while you're trying to enjoy your dinner or a movie.
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LAUGHS OF THE YEAR MILLENIUM

#1: "Four More Years...Pause" - Joe Brandon, Orator-In-Chief
#2: "We have the highest ethical standards of any administration in history." - White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki
#3: "Kyle Rittenhouse shot a sex offender, a domestic abuser and an armed Communist. This kid is only 17 and he's completed half my bucket list." - The People's Cube
#4: "Don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up." - Barry Obama
#5: “ Teach your sons how to be men, before their teachers convince them they're women." - Unknown

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TODAYS QUESTION

Q: Wouldn't excluding RFK, Jr. from the Presidential debate be considered election interference?

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TODAYS TASTY TID-BITS

Pro-Trump Artist Releases 100 Penis-Shaped Balloons With Faces Of Alvin Bragg, Judge Merchan On Them

David Spector/NY Post

Controversial Staten Island artist and activist Scott Lobaido released 100 pink, penis-shaped balloons featuring the faces of Donald Trump foes like Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg Thursday outside the courthouse where the ex-president’s hush money trial is taking place.

The pro-Trump provocateur said he released the “art installation” — which also features the faces of US Special Counsel Jack Smith and Manhattan Judges Juan Merchan and Arthur Engoron — titled “D–ks of Hazard” to show that “these guys are a bunch of useless d–ks.”

“As a New Yorker, this is how we talk,” Lobaido told The Post.

The supplies for the balloon installation cost $1,500, and it took the artist about two days to affix the faces onto them, and add weights so they wouldn’t float away as quickly

Lobaido said he believes that Engoron, Merchan, Smith and Bragg are trying to “destroy” Trump and “the constitution” and was driven by what he believes is the judges’ and prosecutors’ “disrespect” for the presumptive 2024 GOP presidential nominee.

Smith has brought charges against Trump in multiple federal cases involving election interference and mishandling of classified documents.

Engoron presided over Trump’s New York civil fraud trial and fined issued a $455 million ruling against the ex-president. Merchan is overseeing the ongoing criminal trial against Trump, a case brought by Bragg’s office.

Trump allies Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fl.) and Lauren Boebert blasted Merchan as “corrupt” during a press conference outside the lower Manhattan courthouse Thursday.

Lobaido said he chose Thursday to release the balloons because it was potentially the last day of trial, and noted the reaction to the stunt has been positive.

“They loved it,” the Staten Island rabble rouser said.

Trump has pleaded not guilty to 34 felony counts of falsifying business records, and could potentially face jail time if convicted.

The former president is accused of directing his ex-lawyer Michael Cohen to make a $130,000 hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels not to reveal the two had had extra-marital sex in the lead up to the 2016 election.

Prosecutors allege that he falsely listed the reimbursement to Cohen as a legit business expense on company documents.

This trial has had no shortage of raunchiness, when Daniels took the stand the adult film actress testified about spanking the former president with a magazine with his face on it.

Cohen has admitted to calling his ex-boss “dumbass Donald” under cross-examination, along with several other vulgar statements.

*****

‘Momala’ Harris Could Be The Most Cringeworthy Thing EVER

bizpacreview.com

The idea that Vice President Kamala Harris could be a motherly figure – America’s “Momala” – could be the most cringeworthy idea ever but Democrats will be lapping it up like kittens drinking milk from a saucer.

The deeply unpopular veep is hitting the media circuit in an effort to sell herself to voters despite her being even more disliked than her boss Joe Biden and on Monday, she appeared on “The Drew Barrymore Show” where she was fawned over by the adoring host.

At one point during the interview with Harris, Barrymore gushed that America needs the childless politician to be the “Momala” that America has never asked for, but according to her, is desperately lacking.

“I keep thinking in my head that we all need a mom,” Barrymore said. “I’ve been thinking that we really all need a tremendous hug in the world right now. But in our country, we need you to be Momala of the country,” drawing a loving look from Harris and resounding applause from the audience.

“As a woman who respects so much and wants to share and wants to be confident and has no ounce of meek, that has competitiveness — when we lift each other up, we all rise,” the host added. “We need a great protector.”

For once Harris didn’t break out into her distinctive and much-maligned cackle, clearly flattered by the idea.

The idea that America needs a “Momala” and that Kamala could be it, triggered the gag reflex of X users who had some thoughts.

>>> The Rest Of The Story >>>
 
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TODAY IN HISTORY
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1900 "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" is first published by L. Frank Baum with illustrations by William Wallace Denslow in Chicago

1989 Longest Cab Ride Ever: 14,000 miles costs $16,000!

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  • KULTURE WATCH: TRIVIAL TID BITS
GET YOUR SCOOP OF PIGISH POOP
If your Boob-Tube, News Nit-Wits or Social Media Meatheads aren't providing you with enough Caitlyn, Justin, Miley, The Donald, High Profile Race Hustlers or anyone else that stops the presses and your world, well, OMG! and WTF! You're in the right place. Kulture Watch takes precision aim at anyone caught in our crosshairs and headlights and will give you, "The rest of the story."
Read More >>>
  • SPORTS: THRILL OF VICTORY!

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

• COLONISTAS: SOS -
SAVE OUR SOVEREIGNTY
INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those that merit this odiferous award. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
Read More >>>


Google


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" I am proud to be called
a PIG. PIG stands for
Pride, Integrity, and Guts."
RONALD REAGAN

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CALENDAR

May is...
Malarky Month
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Want Malarky?
Roll Up Your Pants Legs, We Got Plenty
And It Gets Deep, Daily
"Let's Go Brandon"

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VETERANS

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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A B
ETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
>>> Read More >>>

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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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THE LIBERTY DAILY
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DR. HURD
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TODAY'S TOONS
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BABYLON BEE
FAKE NEWS YOU CAN TRUST
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2024 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2024: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.