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VICTIM-'HOOD
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CODDLERS:
WHITE, GUILT-RIDDEN LIBERALS
 TRIBE:
White, Guilt-Ridden, Bleeding Heart
Suburban Liberal
HOBBIES:
Jumping on any bandwagon, and promoting any liberal,
trendy, politically correct en vogue cause. White Liberal
is not a victim of any real oppression. If he/she is
a victim of anything, it is 12 years of public school
indoctrination, revisionist history, MTV, NBA, Rap/Hip-Hop/Graffiti
culture.
MANTRA: "I feel your pain." DUTIES: As an Apprentice-Enabler, Coddling White Liberal is responsible for promoting and advocating p.c./m.c., double-standards, affirmative-action, feminism, gay rights, special rights. Primarily through media, academia, advertising, public education, court system, workplace, and anywhere else people are exercising freedom, rights and fun. CAUSES: Besides the usual Race/Ethnicity, Gender, Orientation issues, White liberal loves to spread the guilt all around and will back any shallow, trendy, anti-corporate, anti-American, anti-male, anti-Western/white, anti-religious, anti-smoking, anti-gun, anti-red meat, anti-police, causes, including animal rights, environmental, fat acceptance, abortion rights, welfare expansion. OCCUPATION: Professional 6th year college student. Still deciding on major. Either law, education, psychology, journalism, acting, body piercing, or fine art. ATTIRE: Although their main habitat is Suburban America, they must maintain "urban" look. Mandatory body piercings, tattoos, facial hair, Purposely dresses down, adopting the Ed Norton-urban dweller-look. FEAST DAYS: Other peoples' pay days. HOBBIES: Collecting entitlement checks, spending other peoples' money. Shows up at any trendy rally, protest, hunger-strike, riot, all-you-can-eat restaurants, Starbucks, etc. OPPRESSOR CODE WORDS: "Get a job, punk!" FAMOUS CODDLERS: Dan Rather, Ted Kennedy. MEMO FROM PIG: Keep hanging around the 'Hood, and eventually you'll get mugged. PLAYAHS:
ETHNOCRATS/RACIAL PROFILERS
 TRIBES:
Militant,
Liberal, Self-Victimizing, Ungrateful, Non-Achieving Ethnic
Minorities and all other properly-hyphenated groups with chips
on their shoulders, or an Anti-American, multicultural axe to
grind.MANTRA: "400 years of oppression". "We were here first" "You stole our land." "No justice, no peace" Genocide, Smallpox, La Raza... HOLY WORDS: Affirmative Action, Diversity, Entitlement, Reparations, Level Playing Field, Disenfranchised, Socioeconomic level. FEAST DAYS: Awareness/Heritage Months: Black, Latino, Asian, Indian. LEADERS/GROUPS: Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Maxine Waters, Kweisi Infume, New Black Panthers, Rainbow Coalition, MALDEF, La Raza, MECHA, any pro-immigration lawyer/group. PRIMARY OPPRESSOR: Whitey, Police, INS, "The Man" "Western Judeo-Christian Value System", "Dead White Males", Columbus Day Parades. DOUBLE-STANDARDS: Various Separatist Student organizations, promoting victim status. MEMO FROM PIG: Some of PIG's best friends and relatives are Black, Asian, Latino, hell, even liberal, they are too busy WORKING in the real world to make their living as sniveling, ungrateful, hyphenated-American Ethnocrats. PLAYAHS:
GENDERCRATS/NO-NAD's
 TRIBE:
NO-NAD's, Feminazis, MsAnthropes, Gendercrats.MANTRA: Men are pigs. The women who love them are too. HOLY WORDS: Affirmative Action, Diversity, Entitlement, Level Playing Field, Glass Ceiling, Survivor, Suffering, Empowerment. FEAST DAYS: The Periodica - A Ritual Bloodletting performed every 28 days. LEADERS/GROUPS: Oprah, Comrade Hillary, Gloria Allred, NOW TRIBAL ATTIRE: Bad Haircut, sensible shoes, fashions by "Hefty". PRIMARY OPPRESSOR: Patriarchy OPPRESSOR CODE WORDS: Pro-life, Traditional Family Values, Wet T-Shirt Contest, Centerfold DOUBLE-STANDARDS: All womyn clubs or schools = good. All male clubs or schools = bad. MEMO FROM PIG: If you want to act like a man, expect to be treated like a man, dude. PLAYAHS: GLAAD-BAAGS/HETEROPHOBES  TRIBE:
Gays, Lesbians, Queers, Transgenders, Transvestites, TranssexualMANTRA: Homophobe, Breeder, Hater, Such A Brute!, Fabulous Darling HOLY WORDS: Affirmative Action, Diversity, Entitlement, All-Inclusive, Acceptance, Alternative Lifestyle, Awareness FEAST DAYS: Gay Pride Parades, Anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, or Madonna's Birthday. TERMS OF ADDRESS: Girlfriend! TRIBAL ATTIRE: Combat boots, baggies, skin-tight tank-tops. Leather diapers on Parade Day. OCCUPATIONS: Hair dresser, Interior designer, Art, Fashion, Hollywood make-up artist. Some have been spotted in public restrooms. TV SHOWS: I Love Lucy, Oprah, Will and Grace, Queer As Folks, LEADERS/GROUPS: Richard Simmons, RuPaul, GLAAD, ACT-UP PRIMARY OPPRESSOR: Homophobic* bible thumpers. Breeders. OPPRESSOR CODE WORDS: Sanctity of marriage. DOUBLE-STANDARDS: Silencing anyone who criticizes their way of life. Your "orientation" may be genetic, but publicly prancing about in leather diapers is a choice. MEMO FROM PIG: You have the right to conduct your personal life as you please. But let's get real and stop being so sensitive. If you can take a high, hard one up your you-know-what, then you ought to be able to take a joke. |
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©
Copyright 1993-2021 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
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