"Words
only have as much power as the listener bestows on them."
PIG Wisdom
The
following is a list of words and terms that could land you in
the P.C. hotseat. In order to avoid any conflicts regarding
these words, we at PIG have taken the time to present the definitions
and context of these words. Unless your intent was to use these
words as weapons, and we know you wouldn't, we highly recommend
you download a copy, and keep in your wallet. PIG disavows any
knowledge of any alternative meanings to these words or phrases.
If, in fact they do exist, that would be news to us. As the
Boy Scouts say: Be Prepared!
WORD OF THE MOMENT
PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE: THE 'N' WORD
The
term/word nigger has a long and ugly history in this country,
and has virtually vanished from the vocabularies of all but
two groups of people, more or less.
The
first group would be out-and-out bigots (of any color) whose
use of the word betrays a racist bent. No crime is committed,
since the First Amendment free speech provision also includes
racist morons, properly-hyphenated and unhyphenated alike. PIG
believes that bigots - anyone who classifies individuals based
on immutable characteristics - are mired in group-think. Any
regular PIG reader who hasn't been body-slammed by our opinion
of group-think hasn't been paying attention.
The
second group that uses the term is the very group it is meant
to insult...blacks themselves. That's right. black entertainers,
rappers, sports figures all seem enjoy a free pass when THEY
use the term. In fact some use that term all the way to the
bank in the case of rap stars and comedians.
Imagine,
if you dare, Whitey using the same words then brace yourself
for the deafening din emanating from self-appointed racial justice
purveyors. Time stands still. Front page news. Heads roll, jobs
lost, lawsuits filed, boycotts on the way. All the right people
say all the right things, in denouncing the use of that word.
Everyone acts as if it's the end of the world. But the truth
is, you rarely - if ever - hear whites use the term, in public
or private.
Double
standards? You bet, but double standards are the bedrock on
which political-correctness is constructed. Some of us, here
in the PIG empire, suspect that this increased use of nigger
by so many blacks is an attempt to lure unsuspecting whites
to their doom. The idea is to make dumber than a pet rock Whitey
think the so-called "n-word" is now, okey-dokey. The
minute he swallows that bait, wham, he's a racist asshole. Paranoid?
Perhaps, but don't blame PIG when it happens to you.
If
it weren't for the gansta elements, the word nigger would almost
be non-exsistant. Who, exactly, is responsible for the extended
life of the word nigger? It can't be John Q. Whitey. Memo to
all you civil-rights squawkers: If this one word is all that
keeps "your people" down, you ought to be policing your side
of the street before attempting to clean up everyone else's.
The
bottom line, little Piggies, is this: if someone ever accuses
you of being racist for nuking them with an "N-Bomb", just say
you heard black comedian Chris Rock utter these profound words:
"Nobody hates niggers more than black people".
Amen
brother
ANGLOJAP
YEW : Dense conifer that is very variably shaped.
BABE: Nickname for George Herman Ruth,
famed baseball player for the New York Yankee.
BEANER: An agricultural worker who picks, sorts and grades
green, navy, lima, or black beans.
BITCH: A female canine.
BOY:
A male individual who has not yet reached adolescence.
CAMEL JOCKEY: One who participates in the tradition
of racing camels.
CHICK:
Newborn chicken.
CHINK: Metallic sound effect. Crack, or fissure.
COLORED PEOPLE: People of color. What's the difference.
CRACKER:
What one would put in soup, or spread cheese on.
DYKE: Trench used to contain body of water.
FAG: British term for drudgery; cigarette.
FAIR
SEX: A sexual experience that was neither spectacular nor
too bad. Just so-so.
FAIRY:
A usually winged magical character found in many
children's books.
FAT:
Slang for prosperous. i.e. "Fat
City".
GAY:
Happy. Pertaining to one's emotional state.
Example: Q: Are you gay? A: Why Bruce, whenever I'm near you
I am.
GOBBLEDEGOOK:
What fat people eat when dining in an Asian restaurant.
GOOK: A Reference to "yukky, gooey stuff"
GOON:
Hired thug.
GUINEA:
A former British gold coin worth one pound and five pence.
HEBE:
Greek Goddess of youth.
HO: A gardening implement. Part of Santa Claus' greeting
(Ho! Ho! Ho!) Lyric from Walt Disney's Snow White..."High
Ho, high ho, it's off to work we go..." Short for Ho Chi
Mihn.
HOMO:
Prefix meaning Same. Member of genus Homo,
which includes extinct and extant species of Man.
INDIAN: Defunct American motorcycle manufacturer. Pertaining
to that which originated in India. An ocean located between
Eastern Africa and Western Australia. Baseball team from Cleveland,
Ohio.
INDIAN
GIVER: Deep-pocketed Siberian-Amerikans
- usually casino owners - who lavish large political donations
on certain political hacks
JAP: Our enemy during World War II. In certain cultural
enclaves JAP can refer to a Jewish-American Princess.
JAPERY:
To jest; practical joke.
MICK:
A man's name.
NIGGARD: A stingy person. Miser.
NIP: Pinch or bite. A small sip. Briskness in the air.
ORIENT(AL): The East. Eastern. Descriptive signage; "Oriental
Noodles", "Oriental Dry-Cleaning"
POLE: A device used to catch fish.
PUSSY: Cat. Feline.
QUEER: Deviating from the norm.
REDSKIN: Result of staying out in the sun too long. A
popular peanut that is named for its red skin.
SISSY-BAR: Inverted bar behind the seat of motorcycle
or bicycle.
SLOPE:
To incline upward or downward. A Slanted hill that one would
ski down.
SPADE: Digging tool. Symbol on playing cards.
SPOOK:
Pertains to unexplained, imaginary beings who reside under the
beds and in closets of children who are afraid of the dark.
SPIC (AND SPAN): Scouring pad.
WATER BUFFALO: A large Asian, or African bovine.
WETBACK: An inescapable result of swimming the backstroke.
WOP: A
Sound effect.
Similar to SPLAT.