Government Schooled
Source: PIG News Wire [02/22/14]
According to an NPR item, 26% of the Americans questioned believe that the Sun orbits the Earth. Conducted by the National Opinion Research Center, the survey polled 2,200 Americans. Not a very large sample.
Here, for your edification, are the fun facts:
To the question "Does the Earth go around the Sun, or does the Sun go around the Earth," 26 percent of those surveyed answered incorrectly.
In the same survey, just 39 percent answered correctly (true) that "The universe began with a huge explosion" and only 48 percent said "Human beings, as we know them today, developed from earlier species of animals."
Just over half understood that antibiotics are not effective against viruses.
I have unresolved issues with this survey. For example, why are 'they' releasing the results of a 2012 survey NOW? I smell a rat.
Consequences
Source: PIG News Wire [02/07/24]
Karl Rove dealt himself back in the political game with a $325 million spending spree in the 2012 Election cycle. When it got him exactly nowhere, he needed someone to blame, so he declared war on the TEA Party. That's not doing so well, either, because money coming into his groups dried up in 2013, plummeting a head spinning 98% to $6.1 million.
Rove runs Crossroads GPS, American Crossroads, and the Conservative Victory Project Super PAC, which was formed this year to wage war against conservatives. Rove's two groups raised $325 million in 2012 and about $70 million in 2010. As Politico notes, though, "Rove added a third group to the network in 2013, forming the Conservative Victory Project to counterbalance the influence of Tea Party and conservative grassroots forces in GOP primaries."
Since then, as Breitbart News reported, "Rove's organization has been so tarnished among the conservative base that candidates fear donors will not contribute to any group associated with him." [Breitbart]
How the mighty have fallen.
Compelling Satire From Duffleblog
Source: PIG Newswire [01/31/14]
W. Va. Guard Soldier Under Fire After Relationship Discovered With Woman Not His Sister
By Frederick Taub
LEESVILLE, WV – Officials are scrambling for answers after a West Virginia National Guard captain was revealed to be in an inappropriate relationship with his wife, who sources confirmed was not a blood relative.
Thousands of sickened citizens have taken to the streets in protest to express their disgust at the revelation that Capt. John Olsen has been in a sexual relationship with a woman who, in fact, is not even a distant cousin or even a step-sister.
Olsen, a battalion staff officer who moved to the state last year after his release from active duty, reportedly brought along his wife of five years, Stacy Olsen, whom he married soon after his graduation from the United States Military Academy. The discovery that his wife was not his sister and in fact, bears no discernible family relation to him at all has sent shockwaves throughout the state.
"We demand the immediate removal of this here Olsen from his position," said Obadiah McCoy, who heads the Occupy Your Cousin movement, brandishing a double-barreled shotgun that he repeatedly referred to as his 'dadgone picket sign. "Such behavior is abhorrent to all true sons of the Appalachians!"
Acting swiftly in response to the virulent public outcry, the office of Gen. Jeremiah McCoy, commanding general of the guard, and Gov. Micah McCoy issued a joint statement saying, "Capt. Olsen's behavior is out of line with and does not represent the West Virginian values that it is his duty to uphold and will be investigated thoroughly."
Email inquiries by Duffel Blog to the Governor's office resulted in an automated email response directing callers to the website of West Virgina law S.29-4312 Section A, which prohibits all sexual intercourse between members of the opposite sex not first cousin or closer.
Awards
Source: Golden Oinks [01/24/14]
Devilish Detail of the Week: Our heroine, Symone Brown, is a coed at University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Armed with a freshly minted $100 bill, she headed for a nearby Walgreens to purchase a gift card.
Proving that there is still intelligent life in America, an alert Walgreens minion black flagged the bill because of the signature: Moe Money.
Crimestopper of the Week: Our hero - a serving member of the USAF was minding his own business, a desperado wearing a ski mask entered the T.J. Maxx store. Ambling over to the jewelry counter, the robber smashed the glass with a rock, then shoved $25,000 worth of watches into a bag.
His escape with the loot hit a snag, when our hero tackled the desperado. In his successful struggle to get away, the robber lost his mask and his loot. Nice takedown, flyboy.
Fur Heaven's Sakes
Source: PIG News Wire [01/18/14]
I've never heard of 'American Apparel' and couldn't pick them out in a line-up of capitalists. Their 'not a household name' status might explain why they fitted mannequins in their store window with merkins.
What, you ask, is a merkin? It's a 'wig' which actresses wear over their nads, when filming a nude (or semi-nude) scene. So what? So American Apparel affixed them to mannequins, giving the artificial wench a thick patch of faux pubic hair.
Why? For shock value, probably, and to make people talk about American Apparel? If that's the goal, they're cleared to deploy a 'mission accomplished' banner.
Heroism
Source: PIG News Wire [01/11/14
Our hero is a 14 year old Pakistani lad, who had the right stuff when his schoolmates needed it.
The 9th grader was heading for the Ibrahimzai School when a stranger wearing a school uniform asked for directions to the school. The stranger was, alas, a homicide bomber.
Aitazaz and his cousin, Musadiq Ali Bangash, became suspicious, Musadiq said.
"The other students backed off, but Aitazaz challenged the bomber and tried to catch him. During the scuffle, the bomber panicked and detonated his bomb," he said.
Rajab Ali, who also witnessed the bombing, told CNN that he saw Aitazaz throw a large stone at a boy trying to enter the school. The blast happened when Aitazaz grabbed him, he said.
Aitazaz and the bomber died at the scene. Witnesses say the blast injured two other people.
Journalist: Aitazaz's bravery gives hope
Iftikhar Ahmed, a Hangu district police officer, confirmed the details of the attack to CNN.
We the PIGS salute Aitazaz.
Moonbat Euphemism of the Week: In a brief speech on the House floor Wednesday, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) hailed the war on poverty, endorsed government welfare programs, and said the "safety net has to be something for all of us."
"Maybe the word welfare should be changed to something of, 'a transitional living fund.' For that is what it is -- for people to be able to live," she said.
Jackson Lee hailed the Earned Income Credit, food and nutrition programs, jobs training and education programs, Medicaid, Medicare, and the Affordable Care Act as "huge safety nets -- not handouts, but safety nets, she said.
[CNSNEWS]
Inconvenient Truth of the Week: Los Angeles is a city in decline, strangled by traffic, weighed down by poverty and suffering from "a crisis of leadership and direction," according to a report released Wednesday by a 13-member citizen panel.
The Los Angeles 2020 Commission, convened by City Council President Herb Wesson to examine the city's economic woes, offered a harsh assessment of civic decision-making, warning that Los Angeles is heading to a future where local government can no longer afford to provide public services.
The panel, chaired by former U.S. Commerce Secretary Mickey Kantor, said Los Angeles lacks a coherent approach to economic development and trails other major cities in job growth. City government spending is growing faster than revenue and the pension benefits of city employees are at risk, said the report, titled "A Time For Truth."
What's Wrong With This Picture?
Source: Hambo's Hammer
The headline for the Washington Times piece, tells you everything you need to know about this pachyderm poop:
GOP launches candidate training: How to talk to women
Yes, Sparky, I do have 'issues' with it. For starters, the name of the brain fart - How to talk to women - is self-serving bullshit. A warts and all no bullshit name for it is: How to bullshit like a Demoncrat.
Furthermore, it means the Elephant Clan is digging themselves a deep hole, by tacitly accepting the Jackass Party's (J. P.) premise, a loser move.
J. P. Premise? Yup. Several of them.
J. P. Premise: The fundamental unit of society is the group, not the individual.
J. P. Premise: Each certified victim group is entitled to its own reality, its own 'truth'.
J. P. Premise: All the members of a given victim group (real women, in this instance) think alike.
J. P. Premise: Women (womyn) can't be treated (talked to) like rational adults. Hypersensitive to a fault, they can't cope with 'just the facts, ma'am'. To avoid offending them, you must tread carefully and address them like you would a child. In other words, coddle them with baby talk.
Since the Beltway-pachyderm punks lost their copy of just the facts ma'am about objective reality, I'll fire off a few of the essentials:
* The basic unit of society is the INDIVIDUAL
* Core concepts - our inalienable individual birthright, for example - are non-negotiable. They are the same for every individual, and are NOT altered in the slightest by the individual's race/ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation.
* The proper way to address a 'woman' isn't what your Jackass Party 'friends' are telling you. You address a woman, like you would address any other ADULT INDIVIDUAL: rationally, logically, consistently, with well reasoned concepts.
That should cover it, asshats. Is there anything else you wanted to know?
Parting shot: Attention Pachyderm punks...any woman who buys into group think (AKA we have our own special reality) is NEVER going to punch a chad for the GOP, no matter how hard you try to sound like a Demoncrat.