 |
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
 |
|||
|
|||
|
PIG
NEWS DIGEST
| NANNY STATE: LEGICRAP/DUMB LAWS/PORK BARREL
|
|
DECEMBER 2005
Your Government In Action
Source: CNN [12/30] In 2004, annual proceeds from cyber crime were, according to the Treasury Department, a whopping $105 billion. That makes it more lucrative than illegal drugs. Despite the fact that cyber crime impacts millions of Amerikans, Uncle Sam insists on wearing his drug war blinders. So how much is Uncle Sam spending to fight this new number one public menace? $16 million, and that's down 7% from the previous budget year. Bureaucrats Reach for The Stars If you think that you can escape the death grip of Nanny State bureaucracy by conducting your business off planet, you're tragically delusional. Determined to exterminate a new travel industry before it even gets started, the bureaucrats in Uncle Sam's Federal Aviation Administration just pooped out 123 pages of regulations for the non-existent space tourism industry. They perpetrated their proposed regulations despite the fact that legislation signed by President Bush last year, specifically "prohibits the Federal Aviation Administration from issuing safety regulations for passengers and crew for eight years" (AP). Are the FAA bureaucrats thrilled spitless about this blatant "hands off, bureaucrat punk" restriction? Not exactly:
Among other things, these D.C. job for life pinheads want to impose the following rules of space tourism engagement:
If these job for life pinheads were in business early in the 20th Century, they would have grounded the Wright Brothers and killed off America's participation in the age of flight before it got started. Given their way, they'd protect us so thoroughly that we'd be living in caves and scratching out a meager living growing just enough food to feed ourselves. Edison's electric light and all the rest? Too dangerous to be allowed by the suffocating Nanny State. Henry Ford's efforts to make the automobile affordable to everyone? Unsafe at any speed and DOA thanks to Nanny State interference. If I'm dumb enough to climb into Jim-Bob's Spiffy Spaceship, that's my goddamn problem, not the damn Nanny State's. If a space tourism industry ever reaches escape velocity, it will be in spite of, not due to, the relentless interference by the Nanny State. Which part of "Butt The Hell Out, job for life punks" don't these pinheads understand? All of it, obviously. Border Enforcement Smoke and Mirrors? "Securing our nation's borders from a potential terrorist threat and from the illegal entry of people, weapons and drugs is absolutely paramount. Through Operation Streamline II, we are able to target a federal government offensive in the Del Rio area intended to dramatically reduce illegal activity and deter future activity." (U.S. Border Patrol Chief David V. Aguilar) "ICE is committed to a seamless partnership with federal, state and local entities to ensure there are consequences for those who violate our nation's immigration laws. We will prioritize our resources to ensure those who enter illegally are removed expeditiously. Operation Streamline II recognizes the critical importance of detention and immediate removal as deterrence to future illegal migration." (John P. Torres, acting director of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement's Office of Detention and Removal Operations.) The bureaucrats running the U.S. Border Control call it "Operation Streamline II", but PIG News suspects that "Operation Smoke And Mirrors" would be a more appropriate title. On the off chance that this isn't what it appears to be - a publicity stunt to convince potential voters that W and his Elephant Clan homeboys are tough on illegal immigration - we'll give you a heads up on this scheme. Operation Streamline II zeros in on certain high-traffic smuggling corridors along a 205 mile stretch of the border where the Rio Grande divides the USA from Mexico. Border Patrol bureaucrats call this area "the Del Rio sector".
It all sounds spiffy and we hope that the U.S. Border Patrol's top bureaucrat, David Aguilar, actually intends to tighten up our borders. On the other hand, PIG News finds it suspicious, in the extreme, that this "focused effort" is happening now, when congress is poised to put meaningful border enforcement on the front burner. We smell a publicity stunt in south Mexas and that's why we'll continue to call this bureaucratic slight of hand, "Operation Smoke and Mirrors". PIG News would be thrilled spitless to be proved wrong on Operation Streamline II, but we'll need to see more than press releases and bureaucratic hot air, before we, publically, admit the errors of our ways. Big Brother Goes High Tech Using your tax dollars, the job for life bureaucrats in the U.S. Department of Transportation are bribing your state DMV to mandate GPS trackers for every ride in Amerika. The uses of these intrusive Big Brother-esque devices include, but are not limited to: automatically measuring our speed and issuing speeding citations by remote control; assessing a fee for every mile you drive; tracking your travel patterns, destinations, daily activities. Suitably paranoid, the U.S. Transportation Department pinheads are working on ways to make this Big Brother technology tamper proof. If you mess with it, your ride won't work. When they get all the kinks out - and they're working feverishly - this GPS snoop would be a mandatory item on all new cars and all newly registered cars. These D.C. clowns have way too much time on their goddamn hands, if they think that this is an idea whose "time has come". How else can you explain their zeal for blatantly taking a dump on our inalienable liberty with this Orwellian intrusion into our lives? This Draconian assault on our liberty by these Department of Transportation rat bastards is further proof -as if any rational adult needed it - that George Orwell was an optimist. San Francisco At It Again "We have to have more sensitivity to the rest of the beings we share this planet with. They are my friends, and I see what happens to them throughout the day. They don't have anybody to speak for them. That's why I'm here." (Mark Bittner, tree hugging pinhead and alleged documentary film maker) The Gulag's board of supervisors is poised to approve an edict that will thrill the Gulag's property owner's spitless. The good news is that the property is still yours, especially when the tax man cometh to extort your hard earned money. The bad news is that if you've got trees on your property, from now on, you might need the Gulag's approval to cut the damn things down.
Are you thrilled spitless yet? Don't worry, there's more:
If you've got this big, old, butt ugly tree in your yard that's such an eyesore half the town uses it as a landmark when they give directions, don't even think about cutting it down. Why? It's big, it's old, it's a prominent feature of the city's landscape. Okay, let's suppose your tree isn't big, old, or an eyesore. Let's just suppose you hate the damn thing for some damn reason. If some feather covered menace takes a shine to it you're stuck with the damn thing. Why? It's no longer your tree; it's a damn habitat. We don't call it the Gulag because it's a bastion of inalienable individual liberty, better them than me, Sparky. Seattle's Bold New Concept For years, the bleeding hearts running Seattle tortured themselves over the chronic boozers who infest the city's streets. Unwilling to let Mother Nature take its course, these Seattle softies spend - by their inflated estimate - a whopping $100,000 (per drunk) in stolen taxpayer loot drying out, jailing and treating certain chronic, incurable street dwelling boozers. What's a Northwest Nitwit to do? You better sit down for this one, PIGsters, because it's bleeding heart liberalism on steroids. The following quotes tell you the whole, bleeding heart, Great Northwestern Nitwit story:
The city acquired the exclusive use of a 75-unit apartment house where they will offer the city's 75 most notorious street-dwelling boozers free accommodations. Best of all, the drunks will be allowed to booze to their heart's content on the premises. We know what you're thinking, but it's all under control. The boozers will "sign pledges of appropriate behavior", so there. Oh, did I mention that these boozers will be free to come and go as they please? That fun fact has the apartment's whole neighborhood thrilled spitless. Why are these bleeding hearts wasting time on these half measures? If Bill Hobson is so determined to save these chronic boozers from themselves, why doesn't he invite one or more to live with him, in his own home? The same goes for Mr. Dwyer-O'Connell. It these bleeding hearts want to save the unsalvageable...If they want to prolong the days of the incurable, invite several home to live with you, then browbeat your lefty pals to do the same. Why inflict all that fun on an the innocent residents who just lost 50% of their assessed property value thanks to this scheme? You're the asshats who think that getting them off the streets is nifty, so you should start by putting your money, your homes, your families, your property value on the line for it. The only salient question about this grand scheme is what to do afterwards. Will a simple burning down of the utterly destroyed by rampaging drunks apartment building suffice, or will it take a tactical nuclear strike to expunge the damage done by this bleeding hearts on steroids insanity. "Those doomed, by their own choices, for early obsolescence should be allowed to achieve room temperature, as soon as possible." (Stealth Wisdom) The Great Winooski Gamble Raid Vermont's liquor control storm troopers suspended the liquor license for McKee's Pub (Winooski, Vermont) for two weeks, because this booze wrangling capitalist engaged in illegal gambling. Those of you envisioning a back room filled with slot machines, craps tables and the like need to chill out. This isn't that kind of illegal gambling. It's not even the all too familiar assault on Texas Hold 'em. Nope, McKee's crime involves charging patrons the princely sum of one dollar to play Yahtzee. That's right, Yahtzee! "Gambling" the storm troopers thundered, rushing in with Eliot Ness-like fervor. "None of your damn business", PIG bellows back, with table pounding indignity. It's far from shocking that Vermont, the state that inflicted Howard Dean on us, could make an illegal gambling mountain out of a dollar to play Yahtzee molehill. If they still want to secede from the union, they can leave right damn now and good riddance. Nanny State Bonkers in The Bay State In a perfect world, a bill in the Bay State legislature would have been inspired by a rational adult who is alarmed that his, her, hisher or its soccer playing tyke might get his bell rung and start spouting liberal claptrap. Suffice it to say, that's not the reason Massachusetts' State Rep. Deborah Blumer sponsored a bill that would make wearing a helmet while playing soccer mandatory throughout the state.
Ms. Blumer admits that her bill is probably doomed to bitter defeat, but she's hoping it will sufficiently alarm the state's lunatic liberal fringe that something will be done, somehow. PIG News will keep an eye out for more breaking news from Nanny State Nitwit ground zero, just in case something fun happens. Afterthought: Southern Fried Obesity Drama Some Tar Heel State Fat Nazis - Capel Hill based Be Active North Carolina - are trying to drum up support for a Nanny State 'solution' to the state's expanding waistlines. The primary tool in their arsenal is a study whose carefully-crafted, spin-doctored numbers paint a grim picture of an alarming public policy crisis. Spouting drivel about Medicaid costs, workers compensation claims and lost productivity, these Fat Nazis insist that all that Southern Fried lard the state's denizens are packing costs the state billions in dead presidents each year. Just in case that doesn't get Tar Heel taxpayers alarmed, this cabal trots out the do-gooder trump card - the grim fate facing North Carolina's plus size tykes:
The only reason this 'crisis' imposes costs on the Nanny State, is because the Nanny State keeps sticking its collectivist nose where it doesn't belong. If there's a financial crisis here, it's caused, in large part by the Great Amerikan Welfare State. If Big Brother would butt the hell out, then those who shoulder these added health costs - like the employers who take a hit on their health insurance premiums - could take the necessary steps to field a fitter work force. Once the marketplace places a premium on fit employees, the hippos in human form will be properly motivated to shed that tonnage. If you live in North Carolina, it's time to padlock your wallet, because your state's elected tormentors are getting ready to make you miserable with a frontal Nanny State assault on obesity. Slots Street Legal in Broward County "It's not going to feel good. I just don't think this is right for our state. ... The fact that there's going to be a bunch of slot machines in Broward County doesn't warm my heart." (Florida Governor Jeb Bush) Holding his nose and spouting the aforementioned prose to give him political covering fire, Florida's chief executive, Governor Jeb Bush, signed the legislation that gives Broward County voters the slot machines they sanctioned via a hotly contested ballot initiative. Under this edict - one that limits each site to 1,500 machines - a quartet of Fort Lauderdale betting sites will now have the Nanny State's permission to put slot machines on their own property. What's the catch? The four sites in question - Gulfstream Park, Dania Jai-Alai, Pompano Park harness racing and Hollywood Greyhound Track - must fork over an extortionary 50 % tax on the slot machine profits to the Nanny State. The Nanny State's strong arm tactics are expected to pull in a hefty $200,000,000 to $300,000,000 per year, but fear not it's for the Tax Nazi's usual 'good cause': the states government cess-school system. If you live in the Sunshine State, it's your patriotic duty to visit Fort Lauderdale and play those slots until it hurts. Nashville Strip Club Law Nashville's Draconian strip club regulations hit a judicial speed bump when Davidson County Circuit Judge granted a local booty palace - the Brass Stables - a temporary restraining order. The club - quite rightly - protested that the law's newly mandated 3 feet separation between the strippers and the customer is, in the Brass Stables' instance, physically impossible. Here are the Cliff Notes:
Attorney Barrett points out that enforcing the ordinance would put his Brass Stable clients out of business. If that happens, he demands that the city fork over the booty palace's market value, including the money it rakes in every year. The final point isn't exactly chump change since the club 'reported gross revenues of more then $500,000 a year for more than five years' (Tennessean). Will property rights get off life support in Nashville? It's too close to call, so stay tuned. Volunteer State Censorship Spring Hill's (Tennessee) decency-demented whiners started caterwauling the instant hair wrangler Cindy Landis of "Studio 4 Hair and More" put up an electronic signed that touted a "Sexy" brand of hair care products. The ensuing yowl from outraged, hypersensitive pinheads prompted Spring Hill's Nanny State punks to black flag the "Sexy" sign. They just won't have that kind of thing in their special circle of Volunteer State hell. Spring Hill's political punks might not be bothered by their blatant frontal assault on the First Amendment's free speech protections, but it bugs the hell out of us. If these hypersensitive whiners can't handle a benign word like "Sexy" then they should do everybody a favor and shoot themselves. If that's too damn difficult for them, we're ready willing and able to dispatch Spike the Wonder Tyke to give them a reality check. Don't make him come over there, Spring Hill dipsticks. NOVEMBER 2005
Bay State Blue Laws Source: AP [11/25] Massachusetts' Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly is a firm believer in Bay State tradition, especially when it comes to blue laws that were enacted in the 1600's by those fun-loving Puritans. How else can you explain the fact that, right this moment, Attorney General Reilly is mounting a major, statewide investigation to track down the state's most vile law breakers: capitalists who stayed open on Thanksgiving Day. He will find them, no matter where they try to hide, then slam dunk them into submission with the full force of the Nanny State. He will not tolerate a repeat of this blatant criminal activity on Christmas Day. Bay State denizens deserve the likes of Teddy "The Swimmer" Kennedy and John "I voted for it, before I voted against it" Kerry if they allow this Nanny State nitwit to perpetuate a 4 centuries old, anti-capitalist edict that dares to tell a law-abiding business owner when he can operate. Big Apple Gambling Raids Spouting drivel about the city's 'illegal' poker clubs being hotbeds of potential crime, and prattling their paranoid delusions about the gambling profits filling the coffers of drug traffickers and mobsters, the Big Apple's men in blue staged a series of raids. Determined to eradicate the pernicious poker club blight, these badge packing storm troopers closed down several clubs, made criminals out of hundreds of law-abiding poker enthusiasts and impounded - stole is much more accurate - hundreds of thousands of dollars.
When you cut through all the vice squad bovine excrement, you get to the real reason they staged the raid: the city doesn't get to steal a piece of the action through licensing and taxes. Although there are moves afoot in the state legislature to legalize poker tournaments, in one form or another, that begs the essential question: why should sovereign individuals need the Nanny State's permission to get together and play poker for money? For that matter, why should a businessman be forced to pay 'protection money' to the Nanny State to keep it from sending their storm troopers to close him down? Unable, or unwilling, to deal with real crimes, the Big Apple's jack-booted vice squad squanders the taxpayers money on victimless crimes like a peaceful poker game. Somebody needs to explain 'inalienable individual liberty' to these Empire State asshats. Capitol Hill Capers Smoke and Mirrors The only silver lining to this dark, they're still pissing away our money, cloud is the fact that "defunding" means that if Alaska decides to build the bridge anyway, they're required to jump through all of Uncle Sam's bureaucratic hoops, including the laugh-a-minute Environmental Impact Report required for EPA approval. At press time, Ted "I'll quit if they don't give me my bridge to nowhere" Stevens was unavailable for comment. We're guessing he's too busy writing up that "I'm so out of here" statement. Your Tax Dollars At Work This isn't the first time Cynthia went down this "what did Uncle Sam know and when did he know it road" with an assassinated brother. In 2002, she penned HR5762, a bill that "called for the expeditious disclosure of records relevant to the life and assassination of Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr." We're well aware that Cynthia is differently-rational but is she bonkers enough to put Tupac in the same league as MLK? Perhaps, but PIG would rather think that Cynthia has finally developed a sense of humor. Bold new concept. A Silly DUI Notion A Florida legicrat - State Senator Mike Fasano - thinks that everything would be supremely spiffy if only those Florida voters with DUI convictions were forced to drive cars bearing pink license plates. Mike's notion is that this pink plate scheme would "embarrass" these differently-sober drivers into compliance with existing state "don't drink and drive" laws. Bold new concept. If only life was that simple. For starters, what's to keep a drunk from begging, borrowing or renting a ride? Furthermore, what makes Mike think that it's even remotely possible to embarrass a pinhead who, routinely and repeatedly, gets plastered then climbs behind the wheel to drive home? Pull your head out off your butt, Mike. Pink license plates? That's not gonna fly, but, fear not, because PIG has a much better idea. Your first DUI conviction gets your license pulled, indefinitely. If you get caught a second time, we shoot you like a rabid dog then we leave your rotting corpse by the roadside as a warning to all the other drunk as a skunk drivers. Self-Inflicted Wounds The great Northeastern Nitwits - Maine Chapter - are running a statewide initiative up the flagpole which, if passed, would impose a 20 cents per gallon tax on the water that companies like Poland Spring draws from wells on its own property. As self-inflicted wounds go, this one could be one for the old record books, since Maine's struggling economy needs Poland Springs and the jobs it provides - 550 jobs paying from $14 to $25 an hour - a lot more than Poland Springs needs Maine. The first wound is already inflicted because, when the company heard about the initiative being circulated, they suspended - indefinitely - their plans to build a third bottling plant in the state. Furthermore, Poland Springs' parent company - Nestle Waters North America - warned that, if this initiative gets qualified and passed, the company would be forced to "seriously re-evaluate our ability to continue to do business in Maine". It shouldn't shock anybody that this notion came from a former Pine Tree State legicrat - Jim Wilfong - who aided and abetted Bubba as a minion in Clinton's Small Business Administration. Like all Socialist schemes, Jim's water tax farce is another exercise in stealing from the achievers - Poland Springs - and redistributing the loot to the state's eager parasites. In this case, a pittance would be used "to safeguard aquifers and promote the sustainability of water resources", but the lion's share would be passed out to anointed recipients selected by Jim and his Northeast Nitwit pals in state government. If Maine's capitalism-hating lefties pass this tax, they could lose the tax revenue derived from Poland Springs' $406,000,000 to $640,000,000 in annual sales. You can bet the proverbial agriculture endeavor that they'll scream like stuck parasite pigs if Poland Springs pulls the plug on its Down East operations and takes their business - plus the tax revenue derived therefrom - elsewhere. If Maine's greedy parasite horde drives Poland Springs from the state with this water tax, they deserve the ensuing economic carnage. It's their water tax hell, so it's beyond fair that they burn in it. Alarming Quotes From Our Unprotected Southern Flank Sigifredo Gonzales, Zapata (Mexas) County Sheriff, Chairman of the Border Sheriff's Association:
Mexas Rep. Henry Bonilla:
At press time, Vicente W. Bush still doesn't have anything rational to say about our undefended borders. Southwest Airlines Takes On The Nanny State Southwest Airlines is poised to tilt the Nanny State windmill in a valiant attempt to rid itself of a 26-year old marketplace intrusion the feds imposed on them, at former House Speaker Jim Wright's behest. It's called the Wright Amendment and it severely hampers Southwest's ability to expand its services:
Picking winners and losers is the marketplace's primary function, not the damn Nanny State's. This Wright Amendment bovine excrement is an intolerable violation of Southwest's owner's inalienable rights. Making this matter even worse is the fact that American Airlines executives are fighting to keep the unfair competitive advantage that the Wright Amendment confers on them. Why? Because they know that Southwest will majorly kick their butts in a fair, marketplace fight. If you can't stand the heat, American Airlines punks, then get the hell out of the way and let the men running Southwest do what they gotta do. Remedial Nanny Government Amerikan legicrats - from both political clans - give lip service to the inalienable rights cited by Thomas Jefferson, et al, but they do so with their fingers crossed. Individual liberty, they believe, is much too powerful, much too complicated, and much too important to entrust it to Amerika's rank and file sovereign individuals. Instead, Amerika's hacks, shysters and bureaucrats appointed themselves to control, define, tame and regulate our inalienable birthright, lest some individual get a toxic notion like: individual liberty is in more danger from our own government than it is from outside, liberty-hostile forces. "Yes," These self-appointed liberty arbiters seem to say, "You are born with your full compliment of inalienable rights, but, since you're incapable, in our elitist opinion, of handling such a powerful concept, we'll protect you from harm, by off-loading individual liberty's most troublesome elements. Whatever we leave in your hands, will be doled out to you, at a time and manner of our choosing. You must understand, that we're not doing this for our own benefit; we do this because we are compelled to protect you from unfiltered liberty." If, like me, you're fed up with all this unasked for 'assistance', the proper response involves grabbing the nearest elected tormentor by the scruff of the neck, and laying some basic facts on him: "If you're planning to strip me of my inalienable liberty birthright, bring your goddamn lunch, Sparky, because it'll be a cold day in hell when I let a putrid political pissant like you steal my liberty without one hell of a fight." If, after that, you feel the need to bitch-slap this political punk, lay one on him, her, himher or it, for me. Nanny State Folds Poker Game Baltimore's men in blue decided to take a break from such primary crime-stopping pursuits as seeking out murderers, rapists, gang bangers, armed robbers and muggers to deal with the city's number one with a bullet law enforcement issue: poker games staged by private clubs. Striking this stunning blow for the Nanny State's notion of "justice", the cops raided a poker game run by a private club, where they slapped the cuffs on 80 poker players, 9 card dealers and 4 managers. The cops also made off with 16,020 poker chips, 141 decks of cards, an unknown quantity of adult beverages plus $25,000 in dead presidents. Inexplicably proud of their antics, the cops bragged about staging the city's biggest gambling raid since Prohibition. That brings us to this pagan's number one with a bullet burning question on this bovine excrement: Why is this any of the Nanny State's damn business? Consenting adults engaged in an activity that isn't a danger to any damn body, in any conceivable way should be left the hell alone. All Things Hillary Whopper of the Day Never that fond of the real world, tragically delusional Arianna doesn't 'get' the political necessity that sent Comrade Hillary on her long trek toward the political center. PIG, on the other hand, gets it...we don't like it - or Hillary, for that matter - but we give her props for her political savvy. As easy as it is to detest Hillary, it would be a fatal mistake to ignore her. Senator Sheehan? Is Cindy delusional enough to go toe-to-toe with Hillary in 2006? Probably, but the good news is that it would give PIG tons of new material. If, by some miracle, Cindy got elected, she'd give Blithering Bobby Byrd a run for his money as the most irrational prattler on Capitol Hill. That's why we're changing PIG's motto to "Run Cindy, Run!" OCTOBER 2005
Asinine Nanny State Antics Source: News Max [10/28] Rep. John Boozman, R-AK. is on the fast track to winning PIG's forthcoming Nanny State Nitwit of the Week, thanks to a bill that he rammed through congress. Already headed for George W "I'll sign any bill for $29.95" Bush's desk, Boozman's legicrap attacks the most deleterious threat to Amerika's health and well being: colored contact lenses. That's right, we're being invaded by a horde of border jumping scumbags and under constant threats from Islamikaze asshats, but John Boozman can't be bothered with such petty issues. He's too busy saving sovereign individuals from cosmetic and novelty contact lenses.
Remember this bovine excrement the next time some Elephant Clan fund raiser hits you up for a contribution to the party that fights for a "smaller", "less intrusive" government. This is one instance when a simple "bite me" is grossly insufficient. The profanity alert has sounded, so let it rip, four-letter prose Sparky. Nanny State News Nuggets Who: U.S. Senator Jim DeMint, R-S.C.
Does this frontal assault on the IRS have a snowball's chance in Hell? Probably not, but it's nice to know that at least one Capitol Hill legicrat has the nads to formally propose it. Who: U.S. Senator John Ensign, R-NV. Capitol Hill Myopia The usual Capitol Hill suspects are so fixated on the 2006 election cycle, they seem poised to repeat a mistake that their predecessors made in the 1970's. Suitably alarmed - publically - over burgeoning oil company profits, Elephant Clan legicrats are making noises about "cracking down" on the oil companies who are, in their opinion, making too damn much money. For now, the Elephant Clan worry warts seem content to bluster, make menacing noises, and spout drivel about holding congressional hearings so they can do their posturing, blustering and threatening in front of oil company executives while those all important camera's are rolling. Across the political aisle, the Donkey Clan is up to their usual tricks. At least one legicrat - Donkey Clan Senator Byron L. Dorgan from Terrible Tommy Daschel's North Dakota - has introduced a bill that would impound 50% of profits from every barrel of oil sold for more than $40. For those who don't pay attention to oil futures, the going per barrel price is in the $60 range. Other brave capitalism-hating souls are seriously contemplating a return to that disastrous notion from the 1970's the "windfall profits tax". That nifty goody, singlehandedly, led to decreased oil production, chronic oil shortages and long lines at the gas pumps. That might sound irresistibly thrilling to these D.C. hacks who use taxpayer funded limos to get around, but it's not this scribbler's idea of a good time. If Uncle Sam wants to do something meaningful about the high cost of oil, he can take the shackles off the oil industry and let them drill off shore, exploit our proven oil shale reserves and build new refineries. The resulting increase in the world oil supply will bring the prices down and make us less dependent on OPEC punks like Hugo Chavez and those terrorism funding Saudis. Are we doomed to repeat history with asinine, supply killing laws, restrictions and punitive taxes? It damn sure looks that way, gas line Sparky. Big Sky Country Legicrat Lunacy Smelling a well-deserved public bitch-slapping from rational adults, Montana's state Legicrats came out "spinning" the instant the new edict took effect on October 1, 2005. Criminalizing a doctor's bad handwriting isn't, they insist, "punitive in any way". According to state representative Christopher Harris - the hack who hatched this fetid notion - "it's a courteous warning to the medical community". Yeah, right, dude, now tell me the one about the Easter Bunny. This law has teeth, Legicrat Sparky, and you damn sure know it. This Nanny State lunacy, is, as usual, overkill. If someone rats out a doctor for his crappy handwriting to the state board that licensed him, the doctor would be investigated, and could face sanctions, plus prosecution. If convicted, a doctor gets nailed by a fine for each illegible prescription, but the fines are the least of the doctor's problems. Answering the charges means getting lawyered up, filing tons of paperwork with the state licensing board and taking time off from the medical practice to answer a lot of damn fool questions. PIG thinks it would be much more efficient if the pharmacist who can't read the doctor's writing picked up the damn phone and asked him, her, himher or it "What the hell is this scribbling supposed to mean?". Bad handwriting on a prescription is not, never will be, a legitimate "public policy issue". It's a matter that can, and should, be resolved by the pharmacist who can't read the doctor's scribbles. The only proper Nanny State role in this instance is to butt the hell out. Unscheduled Bipartisan Sanity Somebody needs to check the Capitol Hill water supply for banned substances because the House of Representatives, by a lop-sided 306-120 margin, just passed a bill that would shield fast food outlets like McDonald's from "you turned me into a human hippo" lawsuits. Its ultimate fate in the Senate is unknown, but given the level of Donkey Clan support in the House, it's chances are at least 50-50. When we hear anything meaningful about this "Cheeseburger Bill", we'll pass along all the newsworthy tidbits. The FCC's Latest Outrage After 35 years on the air, Maynard High School's WAVM - 97.1FM - boom box outlet got kicked off the air by the FCC storm troopers. Henceforth, 97.1FM will belong to a Cross Cult cabal that enticed the FCC into this lucrative action with its deep pockets. The axe fell, after WAVM filed an application to increase it's transmitter signal from 10 watts to 250 watts. That's when the FCC asshats spewed their "Oh, by the way, did we forget to tell you we sold your frequency to somebody with deeper pockets?" According this news item, any boom box frequency can be stolen from its rightful owners as long as the frequency thief spews the right data about "increasing the size of the audience" tuning into the station. If you're a radio station owner whose audience is small, but dedicated, and your pockets aren't deep enough to buy off the FCC storm troopers, be afraid, be very afraid, because the next time the FCC clowns pull this crap, they might be stealing your frequency. Never On Sunday In Tennessee If you live in Nashville's Spring Hill suburb and want to do some work on that patio cover, rebuild that termite eaten fence or put in that new deck, city bureaucrats will bust your rosy butt if you try to get 'er done on Sunday. According to the city's construction ordinance "no building operations, including erection, excavation, demolition, alteration or repair of any building in any residential area in the city, can be done on Sundays" (Tennessean). The relevant bureaucrats don't specify why Sunday is sacrosanct; they just issue a citation. Smelling a publicity nightmare in the making, city hacks are discussing ways to punish construction company capitalists without stirring up a do-it-yourself homeowner hornet's nest. One city alderman wants to change the ordinance to read "no commercial work". Another thinks that restricting the ordinance to "any work requiring a permit" would get 'er done, but the Code and Inspections Director points out that most do-it-yourself tasks - patio covers, decks, fences - require a permit, too. Nobody asks the salient question: why should a property owner need the Nanny State's permission to build a patio cover, a deck or a fence on his own goddamn property. Just once, it would be nice if somebody mentioned it. Since these petty Spring Hill tyrants need some help, PIG will give them a boot up the butt to get them started in the right direction: take your construction ordinance and shove it. The city has no business telling a property owner when he can paint his house, rebuild his deck or repair that ratty fence. Spring Hill isn't everything that's wrong with Amerika, but it's prime example of how majorly our inalienable individual rights have been eroded by these Nanny State punks. The sad truth is that Spring Hill's petty tyrants...all the petty tyrants from sea to shining sea...do this crap because sovereign individuals let them. Ohio Tax Nazi Antics A Buckeye State boob tube outlet brings us this epic about Loveland (Ohio) and its over-the-top Tax Nazi antics. Loveland denizen, Deborah Combs, did a header into Tax Nazi hell when the police pulled her over, then proceeded to accost her with guns drawn, because there was an outstanding warrant for her arrest. And what, you ask, is Deborah's crime? As usual, we're all over it. Deborah strayed into this Tax Nazi bull's-eye when she failed to file the relevant tax forms for the city's income tax. Setting aside the intolerable obscenity of a city income tax, we move on to a more important matter: how much does Deborah owe them to justify being accosted by gun brandishing cops. For 2004, Deborah owes the city the princely sum of $1.16. That's right PIGsters, the city treated her like public enemy number one for one dollar and sixteen cents. As expected, a Loveland hack - City Manager Fred Enderle - reacted to the bad publicity that ensued for rousting a citizen for such a paltry sum with the requisite indignation:
We're not told what Deborah Combs said to, or about, Fred's prose, but we feel safe in predicting that it was much more colorful that "Bite Me". Another Second Amendment Epic Working stiffs in the Sunshine State might need to invest in a Kevlar vest if the National Rifle Association - plus certain state legicrats - succeed in ramming through some proposed legicrap. Why? These bills would, when passed, make it street legal for workers to take weapons to work...as long as they keep them locked in their ride. Big, big fun, especially if one of your armed and dangerous co-workers is differently-rational.
This Legicrat prose elicits the following PIGish question: If, as this fishwrap states, the firearm must be kept locked in one's ride, how does that help protect this worker when he, she, heshe or it is walking back to that ride, after work? Also, as much as PIG venerates the Second Amendment, does the right to bear arms repeal the property rights of the business owner? Does the Nanny State have the legal right to tell a capitalist what rules of engagement the business owner can impose on his, her, hisher or its employees? This is one instance where the Nanny State needs to butt the hell out and let the capitalists and their employees sort this stuff out. "Everybody Does It" Rushing to embattled Congresspunk Tom Delay's rescue, the usual VRWC (Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy) suspects are taking dead aim at the top Donkey Clan Congresswench, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. News Max is utterly giddy over this tidbit:
Learning that "everyone does it" is hardly a comforting notion to beleaguered taxpayer, and, apparently, that, along with "a politically-motivated prosecution" is the first line of Tom DeLay's defense. We deserve better from our elected tormentors, PIGsters. We deserve a lot better. File this epic under "See, they do it to" in your PIG News archives. SEPTEMBER 2005
Kentucky Black Flags It's Emissions Testing Source: Cincinnati Enquirer [09/29] The only thing wrong with Kentucky's emissions testing program is the nifty fact that more than 96% of the rides tested pass. These eye-opening results are made possible by the numerous loopholes that infest this 6-year old Nanny State program. For starters, diesel vehicles are exempt, as are many - if not most - older cars. That leaves the newer rides, all of which seem surmount this Nanny State smog test hurdle quite easily. The 2005 results give you the big picture on this Nanny State fun: of the 96,865 vehicles tested, 92,689 passed and a meager 3,309 failed. Big, big fun. Since this scheme didn't clean up the air in Northern Kentucky, it will be shut down in 45 days. This decision forces the state hacks to go back to the drawing board and try to find some other way to satisfy the smog-obsessed feds. Until the state - aided and abetted by the feds, no doubt - dreams up some new way to torture Bluegrass State drivers, PIG strongly suggests that they drop by the nearest adult beverage emporium to celebrate this stunning Nanny State defeat. Never On Sunday, Sporty Two White House (Tennessee) political hacks are shocked, shocked I tell you, that certain sovereign individuals are thumbing their nose at Old Ka-Boom by playing league and tournament games in the municipal park on Sunday morning. Supported by Alderman Mike Arnold, White House Alderman Darrell Leftwich asked the city administrator to draft laws that banned these unholy activities on 'the lords day'.
Darrell needs to chill and remember that those denizens who are using the municipal park on Sunday morning paid for the damn thing with their taxes. They are engaged in a legal activity in a park that was financed with their stolen tax dollars. Furthermore, Darrell, even a pagan scribbler like me knows that Old Ka-Boom is quite capable of making his feelings known. Butt out, Darrell and let these sovereign individuals enjoy their Sunday morning games without your asinine blithering. Seattle's Strip Club Rules Spouting whoppers about the city's strip clubs being hotbeds of prostitution and drug use, Seattle's City Council drew up strict new rules of engagement for the city's booty parlors. One rule that drew an instant howl of protest from the strippers is a gem that mandates a four foot separation between the dancers and the patrons. Other rules ban customers from handing money directly to the dancers, brighter lighting, plus a "code of conduct" that must be posted in all public areas. In other words, you can have your strip club, but you'll be hard pressed to make it profitable. The canard about hookers and drug dealers is straight out of the Twilight Zone, since, of the 190 arrests made inside clubs 'in recent years' none involved prostitution or drugs. These rules are crafted with one object in mind: drive strip clubs out of business. No matter what you think about stripping/strippers, this crap is a blatant infringement of a business owners property rights. More Nanny State Lunacy The Nanny State Nitwits in the National Transportation Safety Board think everything would be just peachy if the feds could find some way to coerce all 50 states into making it a crime for a teenager to drive while talking on a cell phone. For those who care, here are a few other goodies they really, really, want done, stat:
Are all these things desirable? More or less. Are they legitimate government functions? Nope. Senator John Kyl, Self-Appointed Nanny Senator John Kyl is a man with a mission, a mission that will save you - wether you like it or not - from that dastardly cyberspace plague: internet gambling. The news nitwits at Reuters don't explain why Senator Kyl has a wild hair up his butt about internet gambling, but you don't need Nostradamus to predict that it's one of two things. Either Kyl is upset that the feds don't get their cut of the take. Or, he's just another Elephant Clan Nanny State cretin who is so goddamn full of himself that he believes he is better equipped to conduct our lives than we are. For those who obsess on such things, here are the Cliff Notes on the internet gambling ban this senatorial asshat tried to sneak into the annual spending bill:
The good news is that, for now, Kyl's blatant infringement of my inalienable individual liberty failed. The bad news is that he'll keep trying until he succeeds. If internet gambling is, in this bastard's opinion, Amerika's biggest problem, he's got no goddamn business being a United States Senator. The rational adults in Arizona should nuke this scumbag, right damn now! Bonkers in The Bay State The Massachusetts' state legislature is mulling Legicrap that would make not scraping the snow and ice off your ride a state crime punishable by a $500 fine and/or a 6 month jail term. In the name of public safety, you gotta scrape off that snow or the Nanny State will give you a sound thrashing. Big, big fun. For those who need to wallow in the sheer lunacy of this proposed edict, PIG News offers the following tidbit:
Boldly going where rational adults fear to tread? You better believe it, Nanny State on steroids Sparky. The "A" Word According to Washington Times reporter Stephen Dinan, the most dreaded word on capitol hill is "amnesty". He reports that our elected tormentors are treating this word like its toxic. As proof he offers the following examples:
PIG News has a hot flash for these "amnesty" phobic dweebs: Any scheme that doesn't automatically kick border jumpers out of our country is an amnesty. The time has come to fire every goddamn one of these fools. This is not a drill! When In Doubt, Tax, Tax, Tax If you torture yourself with the cable television train wreck called C-SPAN, you've seen the Legicrat chest beating over the "excessive" profits the oil companies are raking in, thanks, in part to Hurricane Katrina's impact on the gasoline supply. One Donkey Clan hack - they all look and sound alike to us - wants to impose a hefty tax on those oil company profits so they can be redistributed to the great unwashed. The fetid notion would tax 50% of all the oil profits raked in above $40 per barrel. If you don't smell a fat greedy, redistribution of wealth rat, you're in a coma. Is oil more expensive than we want or need? Yup? Are the oil companies raking it in? Yup. Is this a "public policy issue" that requires a catastrophic Nanny State solution? Not necessarily. The Legicrats are partly to blame for such supply restricting antics as: making it impossible to build new refineries; blocking any/all attempts by the oil companies to drill for oil off the left coast and in Alaska; imposing countless taxes, fees and assessments on oil from the wellhead to the gas pump. The only way the great Amerikan Nanny State can help lower oil prices is to get its bloated bureaucratic butt out of the way, and let the marketplace do what it does best, fill a pressing consumer need by increasing the supply and lowering prices. AUGUST 2005
Mural, Mural On The Wall Source: Des Moines Register [08/31] The zoning department pinheads who make rational adults in Des Moines (Iowa) miserable took one look at the Meredith Middle School's outdoor mural and immediately, went Nanny State nitwit bonkers by black flagging it. And what, you ask, is on this mural that so outraged these pinheads? As usual, I'm all over it:
The fly in the ointment - aside from bureaucratic stupidity on a galactic scale - is the fun fact that this work of art, includes the school's name. If it has a name, the zoning pinheads blither, it's a sign and as such, it's zoning uncool. Don't these job for life, taxpayer funded parasites have anything better to do? Apparently not, so maybe it's time for Des Moines' rational adults dump the city's zoning laws like a bad habit. Afterthoughts: Today's "Well, Duh" Federal Study The National Institute for Child Health and Human Development spent your hard-earned tax dollars on a study on the impact hormone gorilla passengers have on a teenage male driver. As Well, Duh moments go, this one is in the running for the Well, Duh hall of fame. Did they really need a federally funded study to tell them that teenage dudes are more likely to be a hazard to highway navigation when they're riding the highways and byways with their teenage dude homeboys? Apparently. For those of you who obsess on such trivia, here are the stop the presses findings:
Are we all thrilled spitless that your government spent your stolen tax money on this drivel? You better believe it, Well, Duh Sparky. Nanny State Lunacy in Tennessee "Skoal Ring" Defined: the mark certain smokeless tobacco cans make in the user's blue jeans pocket. The Volunteer State's Attorney General black flagged part of country music wench Gretchen Wilson's performance because, according to this political hack pinhead, it violates the 1998 tobacco settlement. Confused? Fear not, PIGsters, I've got it covered:
This just in! Nanny State lunacy is running amok in Tennessee. If a song extolling smokeless tobacco is the as bad as it gets in Tennessee, this shyster meathead should do the right thing and put the state out of his misery by shooting himself. Don't make me send Spike the Wonder Tyke after you, dude. Trust me, you don't want to go there. Hawaii Caps Gas Prices This week, the Aloha State's Public Utilities Commission imposed a "not to exceed" $2.16 per gallon cap on the wholesale price of petrol that takes force next week. When you pile on the 59 cents in gas taxes, that puts the wholesale tab at $2.74 per gallon, and that's before the station owners exact their pound of flesh. If you're not thinking 'gas shortage', you're in a coma. Hawaii's Governor, Linda Lingle, insists that she'll keep a close eye on the gas supply and will take the necessary actions if and/or when the law of unintended consequences makes her life thrilling. Although she worries that, some-damn-how, her price controls will end up costing consumers or creating gas shortages, she didn't take the obvious step, one well within her power: reduce or eliminate her state's gas tax. PIG News detects a reality check headed Governor Lingle's way. What reality check, you ask? For starters, why would a gasoline wholesaler ship petrol to Hawaii if he, she, heshe or it is forced to sell it below its legitimate, marketplace-dictated price? If you live in the Aloha State, take a hint from us and invest in a bicycle. You heard it here, first. New Hampshire Panty-Twister Rye, New Hampshire officials are thisclose to responding to citizen complaints about naked toddlers splashing in the surf with a full blown investigation that could result in a report to the state's child protection Nazis. The following quote tells you all you need to know about Rye's men in blue:
The father of the tyke to set off this naked toddler ruckus demonstrated that there's at least one rational adult left in Rye:
If diaper commandos romping on the beach naked is as bad as it gets in Rye, life is good and Chief Gould should chill out and get over himself. The Down and Dirty on Border Jumping Scumbags In his well-written Washington Times commentary, Alfred Tella makes numerous telling points about the border jumping scumbag invasion's impact on Amerika. For starters he contrasts the difference between skilled and unskilled immigrants: Skilled immigrant workers:
Unskilled immigrant workers:
Finally, Mr. Tella makes this point about the negative impact a large pool of unskilled labor has on technological development in certain border jumping scumbag loving, cheapskate companies:
The time to make Amerika's brain-dead, border jumping scumbag coddling, political hacks do something to fight this border jumping scumbag invasion is now. The time to punish cheapskate, treasonous, companies that willingly, eagerly, knowingly, hire border jumping scumbags is now. If we don't wake the hell up and deal with this issue, TODAY, Amerika will devolve into a third world cess-pool like Mexico. Mexico's border jumping scumbag antics are an act of WAR. It's about time Uncle Sam showed these sombrero stomping pissants what the most powerful military machine in the world can do when some south of the border asshats screw with us. Donkey Clan Tests Elephant Clan's Right Flank Last Friday, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson dipped his toe into the turbulent political waters surrounding the border jumping scumbag invasion, when he declared a security emergency along his state's border with the Mexican state of Chihuahua. By making a move steeped in presidential politics, presumed Oval Office aspirant Richardson is, among other things, trying to outflank the Elephant Clan on its right flank by appearing to be tough on immigration. The Governor's prior immigration-related antics are, at best, mixed, so it's accurate to state that he talks tough, in public, but his actions are much more Colonista friendly. The success or failure of Governor Richardson's march to the right still hangs in the balance, but the initial reactions from south of the border are, all things considered, predictable:
Governor Richardson's politically-motivated "I'm getting tough on the border jumping scumbag invasion" ploy is probably nothing more than public relations, but that's not all bad. Maybe, if enough Donkey Clan hacks join Governor Richardson on his foray around the Elephant Clan's exposed right flank, it might make Vicente W. Bush's homeboys in congress wake the hell up and do something meaningful to secure our borders. If that's the only tangible result from Governor Richardson's posturing, this pagan scribbler with stand up and salute it. Someone, somebody needs to shock the pachyderm punks out of the Colonista coddling lethargy. WAKE THE HELL UP, PACHYDERM PUNKS! Piling On Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano borrowed a page from New Mexico Governor, Bill Richardson's political playbook when she declared a state of border jumping scumbag invader-related emergency in four Arizona counties that border on Mexico. If you live in Cochise, Pima, Santa Cruz or Yuma county, your worries are, allegedly, over: your governor just woke up to the fact that you're drowning in a border jumping scumbag tidal wave. Thanks to Governor Napolitano's "better late than never when I'm up for re-election" antics, the four aforementioned counties are eligible to use up to $1,300,000 in state emergency relief money to pay for 'overtime pay for law enforcement officers, repairs of border fences, costs relating to illegal immigrant deaths' (AP), plus assorted other obscenities perpetrated by the border jumping scumbag invaders. With two Donkey Clan Governor's testing his right flank, will Vicente W. Bush finally do something to secure our borders? Don't hold your breath, "secure our goddamn borders right now" Sparky W Emerilizes The Amerikan Nanny State, Again W just inked a Nanny State edict that set up electronic snooping into your prescriptions in all 50 states in this land of the not so free. If you asked W, he'd assure you that this Nanny State intrusion into your medicinal needs is for your own good, since it will allow kindly Uncle Sam to stop you from doing a Limbaugh by going "doctor shopping". If you're not checked out on doctor shopping, I've got it covered. "Doctor shopping", as I understand it, involves an individual who is addicted to prescription pain medication going to multiple doctors for the same problem. Armed with multiple prescriptions, the doctor shopper gets all the happy pills he, she, heshe or it needs. Is this practice a problem? Yes, for the doctor shopper, but his addiction is none of the Nanny State's damn business. File this epic under "Big Brother is watching" in your PIG News archives. DUI Law Shot Down in Theocratica A Fairfax County (Virginia) judge ruled that Theocratica's (the state formerly known as Virginia) drunk-driving laws are unconstitutional because they violate an individual's presumption of innocence by decreeing that anyone with a blood-alcohol level at or above 0.08 is intoxicated. Judge Ian O'Flaherty's ruling is based on a 1985 U.S. Supreme Court ruling called "Francis v. Franklin". In case they ask at the trial, this high court edict deals with 'a prosecutor's obligation to prove all elements of a crime beyond a reasonable doubt' (Times-Dispatch). The Times-Dispatch served up this tasty tidbit:
Although not binding, nor automatically applicable to other states, this ruling has 'legs', since, depending on the way a given state's DUI law is written, the same defense could be employed. Additionally, the defense shyster in this case noted that 'a person's blood-alcohol level can fluctuate up or down, depending on when a person had their last drink and how their body metabolizes alcohol' (Times-Dispatch). That means that the blood-alcohol level at the time the differently-sober driver is tested, might be higher or lower than it was when he, she, heshe or it got pulled over. Did differently-sober drivers just catch a break? You better believe it, soused to the gills Sparky. Is this good news for the drivers doomed to share the highways and byways with them? Nope, so be very careful out there, PIGsters. North Carolina Town Bans Fun When one Pinehurst (North Carolina) denizen kept nagging the city about a neighbor's late night basketball games, the city's hacks when Nanny State Nitwit bonkers with a Draconian, "roll up the streets after sunset" edict. A new town ordinance imposes a $50 fine on anyone engaged in recreational activity after 8:30pm that can be heard by a neighbor. That's the summer time rule. In winter, this asinine edict kicks in at 7:00pm. Holy overkill, Batman! According to this Southern Fried public airwaves pit stop, Pinehurst denizens are mad as hell. They're perpetrating meetings where they mull how to make the village leaders repeal this edict. If that's the plan, they can save themselves a lot of angst and hard work, because the answer is simple: fire the Nanny State Nitwits, right damn now! Criminalizing Hormone Gorilla Horseplay A 15-year-old Gold Hill (Oregon) hormone gorilla named David Thumler became public enemy number one when he inflicted a "titty twister" on a 13-year-old hormone gorilla named Matthew Cox while they stood in line at a local deli. The alleged 'victim' of this horrendous "assault", Matt, initiated the incident when he 'jokingly made an embarrassing remark to the female clerk about David'. That's when David inflicted the "titty twister", and the rest as they say is history. Matthew whined to his mommy...His mommy whined to the local authorities about an "older, bigger bully" - David - assaulting her baby boy. According to the juvenile justice pinheads in Jackson County (Oregon), David's antics constitute "physical harassment". And what, you ask do they define as physical harassment in Jackson County? As usual, I'm all over it:
David's penalty for his hormone gorilla adventure includes: a $67 fine, three days of community service and misdemeanor physical harassment conviction on his permanent record. His victim's penalty is much more severe: a well-earned reputation for being a whining, candy-ass mama's boy. Grow a spine, Matthew...Grow a goddamn spine. Self-Serve Gas Banned in Pennsylvania Town Three decades ago, after a motorist overfilled his ride's gas tank and sent 50 gallons of petrol into the storm drains, the bright bulbs running Mount Pleasant (Pennsylvania) rammed through an edict that bans self-serve gas throughout the borough. That's why, if you pull into a Mount Pleasant pit stop, an attendant will dog your steps and - according to this 30-year-old edict - stay within 15 feet of the pump you're using. Bold new concept. A Pennsylvania legicrat is so inspired by this Mount Pleasant edict that he wants to pass a bill that would require all pit stops in the state to offer full service gasoline for those motorists who are too stupid to get 'er done on their own. This legicrat clown needs to butt out and let the marketplace settle this matter. If enough motorists demand self-serve gas, the stations will provide it. How many times to I need to explain this stuff? The Case of the Nadless Numbskull An alleged male named Michael Lufkin who toils as a male nurse got fed up with the way his female cohorts treated him, so he pranced his sorry butt to the feds and filed a sexual harassment complaint, accusing the wenches of gender bias. Since it's highly unlikely that these dastardly sexual harassers have sufficiently deep pockets, our hero is also suing his former employer, the Eastern Maine Medical Center (EMMC), for 'violating the Main human Rights Act, the Civil Rights Act, and the Family and Medical Leave Act' (Daily News). According to the Bangor Daily News Lufkin was:
I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. PIG News offers the following timely advice to this nadless whiner: Grow a pair, "they're picking on me" Sparky. Talibanma Limits Eminent Domain Talibanma (the state formerly known as Alabama) Governor Bob Riley limited eminent domain takings in the "Heart of Dixie" when he signed a bill that sailed through the state legislature by a unanimous vote. According to this D. C. fishwrap, the bill prohibits 'governments from using their eminent-domain authority to take privately-owned properties for the purpose of turning them over to retail, industrial or residential developers'. If, like me, you think this sounds too good to be true, you're right...there is a loophole big enough to drive a fleet of bulldozers through:
Bait and switch is alive and well in the Heart of Dixie. The political hacks, accompanied by a deafening public fanfare, "protect" Talibanma denizen's property rights, sort of, but keep those developer campaign donations rolling into their coffers with this "unless it's blighted" fine print. As expected, Governor Riley's spokeshole vows that his man will close this loophole, but PIG News suggests that you refrain from holding your breath.
If your state isn't listed, PIG News says, get off the couch, Sparky and start hounding your elected tormentor about eminent-domain. Pork-Bloated Transportation Bill Passes The Elephant Clan continued its devolution into a virtual clone of the free spending Donkey Clan this week, when the Elephant Clan controlled congress passed a Transportation Bill that's so stuffed with pork it sprouted a curly tail then emitted a deafening 'oink'. Depending on whose numbers you believe, this bloated, pork-intensive legicrap included a whopping 6,317 slices of bacon that ring up a record-setting $24,000,000,000 in stolen tax dollars. Here are a couple pork barrel tidbits cited by this Washington Times piece:
If this is the Elephant Clan's notion of fiscal frugality, I don't even want to think what they consider 'big spending'. This is what happens when you punch a chad for a political clan whose campaign slogan is: "We suck, but they're worse." JULY 2005
Southern Fried Nanny State Lunacy Source: The Shreveport Times (Louisiana) [07/29] A Shreveport (Louisiana) denizen named McKinley Lewis did a header into a little known, and randomly enforced, city and state law that 'prohibits the use of vehicle horns in nonemergency situations other than parades, tours and other special events' (Times). Our hero discovered this law when, at 4:30pm he honked his horn, twice in a public parking lot, to let his brother know he'd arrived. The bad news for Louisiana denizens is that tooting your ride's horn can cost you a $108 fine. The good news is that your state just reset the bar for asinine edicts, much, much higher. Another Day, Another Marketplace Intrusion This week, Houston's city council increased the fares for taxis and limos operating within their jurisdiction. The move was made, in part, to compensate for higher gas prices, but it's not getting a warm welcome from all the impacted firms. The limousine firms are mad as hell that the city forced them to raise their minimum rate from $50 to $70.
One city councilpunk opined that an increase in the minimum limo fare is needed, because at the going rate, it's cheaper to hire a limo to take you to the local airport than it is to catch a cab. Assuming that he's right about the fares, so what? Why must a cab or limo firm get Nanny State permission before setting its own rates? Undoubtedly, this council punk's rate setting powers enrich his re-election campaign war chest, but he does so by denying Houston's taxi and limo users the inevitable benefits an unrestricted free market could confer. Houston hacks need to butt the hell out and let the marketplace give the city's taxi and limo consumers the maximum bang for their buck. Don't make me come down there. Jersey's Smoke Nazi Legicrat "Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves." "Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the government's purposes are beneficial. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding." The two quotes I just cited are prescient in the extreme, since both were written long before a New Jersey legicrat, Assemblyman John McKeon slithered onto the scene. This time out, this Nanny State numbskull went Nanny State bonkers and decided to "save" the state's smokers from their own bad habits by authoring a bill that would make it a crime for a Jersey denizen to smoke in his, her, hisher or its own car. This Jersey Legicrat is a member of a depressingly familiar breed: a Legicrat whose entire political career is spent pounding on one specific issue. In McKeon's case the political obsession is smoking and his aim is to outlaw it, by any means necessary. His legicrap track record includes sponsoring a bill outlawing smoking in Ivory Tower dorms. For sacrificing inalienable individual liberty on the altar of his own political obsession...for trying to save sovereign individuals from their own bad habits, Assemblyman John McKeon gets this pagan scribbler's infamous "Bite me, Nanny State Sparky" one finger salute. Whose Side Are This Guys On? New York City According to the New York Times the proper authorities will perform, "random checks of bags and backpacks at subway stations, commuter railways and on buses". But, according to Commissioner Kelly, the random, systematic searches will be utterly Korrectnik: "No racial profiling will be allowed. It's against our policies. But it will be a systematized approach." If you need that doublespeak translated, PIG has your back: If you're a male, middle eastern, Islamicaze wearing a Jihad jersey that reads "Kill the Infidel pigs", and your backpack is ticking, there's a 1000% chance that New York's finest will act like you're invisible. But, if you're a 93 year old, wheelchair bound nun from Queens, you're gonna be searched down to your nun's knickers. Attention Big Apple denizens: Mayor Bloomberg and Commissioner Kelly are playing Korrectnik games with your lives. Be afraid, Big Apple denizens, be very afraid, because these two clowns just sent the Islamikazes an engraved invitation to blow up your transit system. Washington, D.C. The Commissioner's "trained volunteers" trial balloon got punctured, Thursday, when a Department of Homeland Security spokespunk - on orders from El Presidente Bush, no doubt - spouted the official Bush Administration party line:
If the ongoing border jumping scumbag tidal wave is the best these "highly trained, professional law enforcement officials can do", PIG thinks it's time for the pros to step aside and let the amateurs have a crack at it. Let's be real, PIGsters, untrained and unprofessional as they might be, the volunteers can't do any worse than the pros. Who's side are these D.C. dipsticks on, anyway? Korrectnik Playgrounds Broward County (Florida) tykes are turning recess-phobic thanks to a Nanny State Nitwit named Jerry Graziose who, single-handedly turned county playgrounds into No Fun Zones. All that familiar playground gear is banned because some tyke might get a boo-boo:
Recently, this killjoy added "No Running" signs, making Broward County playgrounds as much 'fun' as a penitentiary's exercise yard. This Nanny State numbskull is on a one-man vendetta to eradicate fun from childhood. Knock it the hell off, killjoy Sparky. You don't want me to come down there. Nanny State Nitwits Anderson (South Carolina) denizens who like that tattered sofa on the front porch, or can't imagine life without that ratty Lazy Boy in the front yard are thisclose to bureaucratic pinhead retribution. A new ordinance that's making its way through the Anderson bureaucracy would make such simple pleasures a crime in the city, by banning indoor furniture from those southern fried front porches. To make everything perfectly clear, the relevant bureaucrats are compiling a list of banned items. Bold New Concept. Obviously, a simple, straightforward concept like "my property, butt the hell out bureaucrat breath" is lost on these Nanny State nitwits. Given that, the rational adults residing in Anderson need to take matters into their own hands and dump the city's hacks, en masse, like a bad habit. Trust me, Anderson denizens, the instant you start circulating those "recall the bastards" petitions, the hacks are going to drop this furniture ban like its tainted with Ebola. Afterthought: Tancredo
For President? Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo is making meaningful noises about an Oval Office run, because, so far, none of the presumed candidates, from either party, is willing to put the border jumping scumbag invasion on the front burner. Until an Elephant Clan candidate extracts his, her, hisher or its head from their butt and gets real about securing our borders, Congressman Tancredo vows to stay in the race to keep the issue on the front political burner where it belongs. Tancredo on Immigration as a top campaign issue
Tancredo on the War on Terror
PIG salutes Tom Tancredo for having the nads to get real about Amerika's toughest issues. That's why he's a PIG Hero, Emeritus. Give 'em hell, dude, PIG has your back. Anheuser-Bush
Takes One On The Chin To a rational adult, Anheuser-Bush had every right to fire the employees that its hidden cameras spotted smoking pot, sleeping on the job, and/or taking a whiz on the brewery's roof. But, this is Nanny State Amerika where the guilty are coddled by such cabals as the National Labor Relations Board and the United States Circuit Court of Appeals. In this instance, it's the latter body that just nailed Anheuser-Bush for perpetrating an unfair labor practice, since its hidden cameras weren't included in the 1998 bargaining agreement with the employee union. When all the dust settles and the NLRB gets finished with this case, the brewer will, probably, be forced to rehire these differently-diligent employees and give them back pay. The hidden cameras aren't, necessarily, banned in the workplace, but the NLRB's edicts insist that the company includes them in the bargaining agreement struck with the union. What a crock! Am I the only one who finds this utterly asinine NLRB edict an intolerable violation of Anheuser-Bush's property rights? Probably, but I can live with that. It's crap like this that makes a company seek those greener, less regulated, pastures off shore. Amerika is regulating it's capitalists into moving their operations off shore and that's a no shit fact. Enough already! Another
Seattle Panty Twister Still reeling from the Monorail boondoggle that has hacks throughout the city seeking political cover, Seattle's City Council punks have another public relations nightmare on their hands. After spending $72,000,000 on a new - much smaller - city hall that would, among other things, be vastly more energy efficient, the council just found out that the new building is, in reality, an energy hog:
Putting this epic in the hunt for Golden D'Oh of the Year, the new City Hall was designed, specifically to win the Environmental Holy Grail - 'silver certification under the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design program'. This tree hugger award measures 'materials used, water and energy efficiency, natural light, views, landscaping and how a building is oriented on the site' (Post-Intelligencer). Although it gets high marks for water use and the trash it produces, the new, improved, City Hall is, as previously stated, an energy hog, but its problems don't end there. The U.S. Green Building Council is also in a tizzy because the building uses limestone imported from France and a 'soaring' wall made of titanium. Call me names if that thrills you, but this pagan scribbler loves it when lefty nitwits get nailed by their own Korrectnik bovine excrement. A green building that's a bigger energy hog that the one it replaces? That's gotta get a rousing "amen" from the PIGster congregation. New
York's Nanny State Nitwits Crime is so non-existent in New York Mills and Whitestone (New York) that the cops are forced to get 'creative' to justify their paychecks. Proving that, eventually, the donut shop's charm gets 'old', New York Mills and Whitestone men in blue resorted to busting Mr. Ding-a-Ling ice cream trucks for making too much noise with their music. When pressed on these asinine antics, cops from Whitenead and New York Mills passed the buck by citing their city's noise pollution laws:
If you live in either of these Empire State burgs, be afraid, be very afraid, because your local hacks are completely out of control. Great zot, in New York Mills you could be busted for noise pollution if you're listening to the ball game, at nominal levels, while washing your ride in the driveway. If, your pain in the butt neighbor - the one who never forgave you for totaling his weed whacker - can hear your boom box from a few feet away, across that all important property line, you're looking at a $250 fine and or 15 days in the slammer. JUNE 2005
Eminent Domain Ruling Fallout Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [06/30] Richmond,
Theocratica (State formerly known as Virginia)
Will property rights make a comeback in the Commonwealth? Possibly, unless those deep-pocketed, land-stealing developers buy their way out of the bull's-eye. It's stay tuned time in the pagan scribbler bunker. Hartford,
Connecticut Connecticut governor, M. Jodi Rell, promised to "review the state's eminent domain laws" (NBC) and certain state legicrats want to send some property rights restoring legicrap up the flagpole to see if anyone salutes. A Connecticut NBC boob tube affiliate served up these tidbits:
This smells like political hack bovine excrement to this pagan scribbler. The deep pocketed land-stealing developers own this state and this high court ruling didn't do a damn thing to loosen their grip. If you live in Connecticut, cut your losses and get the hell out while you still can. Sell your house, now, before some developer steals it from you. This is not a drill. Jefferson
City, Missouri File this one under "locking the barn doors after the horses get out" in your PIG News archives. Washington
D.C. The
Other Side of The Story
Seattle's
Monorail Debacle Seattle's newest public transportation boondoggle, a 14-mile long monorail called the "Green Line", seemed like a slam dunk after the city council staged four, successful, public votes, then 'it' happened. What seemed like a done deal, a couple weeks ago, is now the hottest political potato in this ultra liberal left coast enclave. What happened to send the council into a panic? The 'how much will it really cost' chickens came home to roost. City council punks took one look at the $11,400,000,000 price tag by the time the bonds are paid off in 2053 and went into a headlong retreat. Making matters that much worse, candidates for the city council are already intoning their 'stop the monorail boondoggle' campaign mantras. For jumping onto the "what we really need is a monorail" bandwagon, before they got the price tag, Seattle's City Council dweebs earn the coveted one-finger salute from this pagan scribbler. Will they dump this boondoggle like a bad habit? Not a chance, Sparky. The usual mass transit suspects are already serving up spin doctored numbers that are carefully calculated to dazzle these city hack simpletons. If you live in this coffee swilling, liberal enclave, you might as well drop your drawers and bend over, because your elected officials are poised to nail you with a big one. When it happens, don't say I didn't warn you. Technological
Terror Strikes Red Light Cameras "For every technological measure, there's a viable technological countermeasure." "For
every bureaucratic action, there's an equal and
opposite marketplace reaction." Thanks to some relentlessly clever Pennsylvania capitalists, the technological chickens are already coming home to roost at the feet of bureaucrats who envisioned fattening city/county coffers with red light camera-generated revenue. Phantom Plate's new product is so nifty, and so user friendly, that even your government cess-schooled tyke can handle it. Thanks to the miracles of modern chemistry, Phantom Plate invented a nifty product called PhotoBlock, a handy dandy spray that, when applied to your license plate, renders it unreadable by those pesky red light cameras.
Illinois reacted quickly and banned the virtually undetectable product, for all the good it did them. According to company officials, their sales in the state increased dramatically, as a result of the ban. Since a ban generates so much free publicity, the firm hopes that more states will follow Illinois' lead. It's much cheaper, and vastly more effective, than paid advertising. For painting a bull's-eye on the red light camera blight, Phantom Plate is a finalist for Hero of the Week honors. Great
Northwest Nitwits If the Nanny State nitwits on the Kenmore (Washington) have their way, the city's most pernicious blight - the last street legal card room in their Northwest outpost - will be shut down, making the city safe for critters, kiddies and alleged adults. According to a ruling by King County Superior Court Judge Terry Lukens, the city must outlaw all cardrooms in the city or allow applications for new ones. The smart money says they'll shut down the last cardroom, a bowling alley called the 11th Frame and forgo the approximately $900,000 in taxes the establishment pays into city coffers every year. Shutting down this card room might cost Kenmore a lot more than tax boodle. The bowling alley's owner, Frank Evans warns that without the card room income his establishment - a "major taxpayer and employer in the city" (Times) - will be economically untenable and will need to be shut down. The city's finance director is unimpressed by Mr. Evans' grim assessment and continues to assure, whomever, that the 50 lane establishment won't shut its doors permanently. This pagan scribbler suspects that this Kenmore hack is in for a very rude awakening. As usual, this pagan scribbler dares to ask the burning question: Why should a business owner need the city's permission to open a card room in the first place? His business. His call. If he guesses wrong and too few people come to keep it viable, the marketplace will exact the necessary pound of capitalist flesh. This is none of the city council's business. Nanny
State Bonkers On The Left Coast If Mexifornia's Marxist Legicrats salute State Senator Kevin Murray's SB 4, they would create exactly what the no longer 'Golden' State doesn't need: a new state bureaucracy. The new state cabal would be empowered to steal taxpayer money, steal taxpayers land via eminent domain, then build a stadium or entertainment facility over taxpayer objections. The new cabal would be called the California Public Utility Performance Facilities Authority and it would "serve the public good" no matter how much the "public" objected. The Orange County Register serves up these fetid facts:
The last thing Mexifornia's besieged taxpayers need is some state bureaucracy carpet-bombing the state with sports and entertainment facilities at taxpayer expense. If the fat cat sports franchise owners want a stadium or arena, let them pay for the damn thing out of their own pocket. If the citizens in a given area don't want a stadium or arena, that should end the matter. Is this welfare for millionaire sports franchise owners at the taxpayer's expense? You better believe it, Sparky. Nanny
State Stupidity in Tennessee The political pinheads selected to abuse Franklin's (Tennessee) denizens just Emerilized home ownership with a new edict that would banish garage doors from the front of any/all newly constructed Franklin homes. Spouting drivel about making the house more noteworthy than the garage, the city's aldermen ran a new ordinance up the flagpole and saluted it. If this edict passes muster two more times, new Franklin homes will be liberated from garage door tyranny:
Rational adults warn these pinheads that such rules force builders to use much larger lots to facilitate side-loading garages and/or rear-loading garages. The only other solution involves building alleys to allow access to rear-loading garages. Somebody needs to explain the property rights implications of inalienable individual liberty to these power-mad pinheads, then bitch-slap some good sense into them. Where I want my garage door is none of a political peabrain's business. If I decide to build a top loading garage on my property, they can go pound sand, because it's mine, not theirs. Compelling
Prose From Justice Thomas Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas continues to impress this pagan scribbler with his thoughtful, well-written decisions. A good case in point is his ringing dissent in the Supreme Court's Medical Marijuana decision. A Capitalism Magazine commentary included the following excerpts:
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas seems to be the only member of that lofty panel that understands what Ayn Rand mean when she reminded:
Amerika's besieged sovereign individuals better wake the hell up before the Nanny State turns your inalienable individual liberty into a concept that's as extinct as the Dodo bird. Banning
Spanking In The Bay State Massachusetts in the twenty-first century is a far cry from the inalienable liberty hotbed that played such a critical role in the founding of this nation. No longer honoring "Give me liberty or give me death", Massachusetts' legicrats are debating a bill that would ban corporal punishment throughout the state:
Massachusetts continues to set an unprecedented pace in their mindless zeal to repeal the inalienable individual liberty that those Bay State patriots fought so hard to secure 'for ourselves and our posterity". Another
Down East Nanny State Adventure Maine's Legicrats are up to their usual Nanny State tricks with a bill that would regulate - in asinine detail - how and when the state's charity groups can perpetrate Texas Hold 'Em poker tournaments. For those who obsess on such things - and we both know who you are - here are some tidbits about this Down East legicrap:
As usual this Maine fishwrap misses the salient point when it allows itself to get sidetracked by the legicrap's details and the Governor's likely veto. The burning - unasked - question isn't how the Nanny State will regulate a charity's fund raising, nor is it the legicrap's fate when it hit's Baldacci's desk. The essential, unasked question is this: Why should a charity, a business or an individual need Nanny State permission to stage a poker game? Congressional
Black Caucus Rethinks Campaign Finance Reform From our politics makes strange bedfellows desk, PIG News serves up a news nugget that has members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) teaming up with - gasp - certain Elephant Clan legicrats to legislate some badly needed changes to the 2002 campaign-finance reform bill John Big Stinky McCain perpetrated. Belatedly, the CBC discovered that, under the new campaign finance rules of engagement, their money supply dried up, leaving Melanin-Enriched community groups without the necessary folding green to fund their get out the vote efforts:
Although 'everyone' admits that Big Stinky's campaign-finance lunacy nukes Melanin-Enriched groups' fund raising efforts, they differ on what needs to be done to fix it. Some Elephant Clan hacks propose changing the hard money limits to allow more fund raising latitude for certain politically-minded groups:
PIG News feels the CBC's pain, but dares to remind them that they created this fund raising hell when they made Big Stinky's Free Speech muzzling campaign-finance legicrap the law of the land. The solution to Amerika's putrid political condition isn't getting the money out of politics. The real solution always was - and still is - making our egregiously bloated federal government return to its legitimate functions as set forth in the United States Constitution. When the government stops anointing winners and losers via its Draconian taxation policies and stops its asinine bureaucratic antics, there won't be any 'influence' to sell to the highest bidder. It's time for Uncle Sam to get his fat, interfering ass out of places where he no shit doesn't belong. Shackling
Amerikan Courts Several Elephant Clan theocons - theocratic conservatives - want to put shackles on federal courts via some federal legicrap that didn't make the cut last year. This reintroduced legicrap would forbid federal courts from ruling on Ten Commandments cases, plus any other case that involves government officials who stand up and salute Old Ka-Boom (the Biblical Deity) "as the sovereign source of law, liberty or government" (WND). This federal legicrap is called "The Constitution Restoration Act" and it sounds like big time fun to this pagan scribbler:
Is Amerika starting down the fabled slippery slope to a full-blown, Cross Cult theocracy? You better believe it, the Amerikan Inquisition is coming Sparky. MAY 2005
FEC Targets Blogs Source: Pagan Scribbler News Wire [05/31] The Blogosphere is in a lather because the FEC (Federal Elections Commission) is poised to impose new campaign finance restrictions on certain Internet Blogs. Before you start taking the FEC's name in vain, be advised that this idea didn't originate with them. Last fall, a court ruled that the agency must include the Internet when it defined 'public communications' that it regulated. What that means in real life is still under consideration, but the usual suspects are offering up the following 'likely' regulatory notions:
There's an outside chance that congress will pass legicrap that specifically exempts the Internet from FEC regulations. Otherwise, the FEC will continue to draw up the aforementioned Internet regulations and publicize the relevant edict later this year. Is this the opening gambit in a plot to put the Internet under the FED's control? They jury is still out, but it's a known fact that the Nanny State can't abide the kind of unrestricted free speech that takes place on the Internet. Product
Placement In the FCC Bull's-Eye FCC commission punk, Jonathan Adelstein demands that this pernicious regulatory cabal launch a punitive strike against those dastardly broadcast capitalists who tarnish the public airwaves with blatant product placements on broadcast fare. He wants the FCC to flex its egregiously overused regulatory muscles and clamp down on this stealth advertising:
I doubt that the Amerikan viewing public is going to make a headlong dash to the grocery store because some reality show twerp is sipping from a blatantly displayed Pepsi can. Take a chill pill, Jonathan, or we'll be forced to increase the voltage on your shock treatments, capitalism-phobic Sparky. Taxing
Those Rembrandts Washington's coffee-swilling lefty legicrats need money to refill those cash starved Northwest coffers, so they're frantically scouring the tax code for deep pockets to plunder. One enriching answer floated to the surface when somebody dusted off a largely ignored, 1935-vintage law that imposes a "use tax" on out-of-state art purchases. Gloating Olympia (Washington) Tax Nazis envision at least $25,000,000, annually, in dead presidents that can be liberated from 'the rich' and used for all those cash starved, progressive, causes. As usual, this Tax Nazi scheme is brimming with unintended consequences:
The incontrovertible fact about taxes is equally applicable in this Northwestern outpost of stampeding Socialism: whenever you tax something, you get less of it. Enforcing Washington's "use tax" on art puts the state's Tax Nazis on the fast track to drying up the state's fine art supply. If that unintended, but inevitable, consequence doesn't thrill Washington's Socialist legicrats spitless, they might consider something radical like cutting spending to match their existing tax revenues. Petty
Tyranny When he stuck a "For Sale" sign in the window of his ride, Tom Wambolt ran afoul of an edict perpetrated by the petty tyrants running a Colorado blight called Arvada. According to the city's decree, posting a "For Sale" sign in your ride's window sullies Arvada, some-damn-how. Go figure. Our hero refuses to tolerate this petty civic tyranny, so he's going shyster bonkers, citing a recent decision in a Mexifornia federal court that deemed such city ordinances a first amendment violation. If he stuck with that reasoning, Tom Wambolt would garner well-earned PIG props, but, tragically, he's not taking the high road. Instead, he's playing the victimhood card:
For taking a detour into victimhood and class warfare, Tom Wambolt tumbled from a Hero of the Week contender to just another whining asshat ignobility. You let us down, big time, Tommy boy. Bad
Weather Brewing In D.C.? If Elephant Clan Senator Rick Santorum gets his way, you'll be forced to pay for the information you can currently access for free from the National Weather Service's popular Internet Site. The fun fact here is that the Weather Service is one Government Entity whose Internet site is very user friendly, so friendly that it's draining the profits of certain pay for play weather companies. Since the commercial companies are a billion dollar business, their pockets are deep enough to purchase an ambitious, power-craving hack like Senator Santorum.
Okay, I'm starting to get it. Although my stolen tax dollars pay for the National Weather Service - and, incidently, Senator Santorum's salary - this Pennsylvania asshat wants me to pay a private firm for the information my tax dollars financed? Bite me, Rickie boy. If, as Little Rickie blithers, he wants to privatize the weather business then here's how he does it:
PIG News thinks it's time to stamp Senator Santorum's hack butt with an indelible "bought and paid for" label, then drop kick his sorry ass out of the U.S. Senate. This is not a drill. Frozen
Pork Senator Ted Stevens, the Citizens Against Government Waste's unchallenged Pork Barrel king since they created the award in 2000, cemented his eventual induction into the pork barrel spending hall of fame last November when he stuffed a $388 billion spending bill with $1,500,000 to build a bus stop shelter in front of the Anchorage (Alaska) Museum of History and Art. Grateful, in the extreme, Anchorage hacks are hard pressed to find a suitable way to squander $1.5 million dead presidents on a bus stop that normally costs $10,000 to $100,000. At press time the best Anchorage hacks could do is slam dunk a measly $500,000 into the bus stop renovation budget, but they promise to keep trying. Senator Steven's spokeswench, Courtney Boone tried to dispel Senator Stevens' well earned "King of Pork" credentials with this textbook example of hack doublespeak:
Courtney, darlin, wake up and smell the pork barrel coffee. Your main man, Teddy, stuffed a pace-setting $645,000,000 in taxpayer dollars into federal legicrap last year. That comes out to a nifty $984.85 for each Alaska denizen. That damn sure smells like bacon to this Amerikan taxpayer. Southern
Fried Nanny State Lunacy The hacks torturing the Germantown (Tennessee) denizens Emerilized Nanny State insanity right off the damn charts when they passed an edict that regulates when Germantown residents can open their garage door. Under this fetid Nanny State Nitwit notion, Germantown residents would only be allowed to open the door when entering or exiting the garage and "for short periods of time" for cleaning or maintenance. Will Germantown residents tolerate this asinine edict or tell the city to 'stick it'? The jury is still out on that score. One thing PIG News can predict with 'etched in stone' certainty is that this garage door edict just guaranteed that Germantown's City Hacks will reign supreme as PIG's Nanny State Nitwits of the Week. Minuteman
Project Aftershocks Citing at least a dozen Border Patrol agents, the Washington Times reports that certain unnamed supervisors at the Naco, Arizona sector ordered agents not to arrest border jumpers in the 23 mile area formerly patrolled by the Minuteman Project. The fetid notion rumbling through the unnamed supervisors' brains involves doing anything, and everything to discredit the Minuteman Project. If, after the Minutemen leave their posts, arrests go up, that proves how successful the project was and that's the last thing these job for life hacks want or need. As expected, Border Patrol Chief David V. Aguilar denied to reports and spouted drivel about the dedication of the men and woman patrolling our borders. His blithering would carry more weight if this was a simple dispute between the Washington Times and Border Patrol management. What a shame for Davie boy that somebody else got the same reports:
Congressman Tancredo laid this problem at W's doorstep, chiding Vicente's pal about his refusal to take meaningful steps to secure this nation's borders. PIG News agrees with Congressman Tancredo's assessment of W's sorry performance. When he accepted the title Commander In Chief, W promised to defend this country from all its enemies, foreign and domestic. "Enemy" includes W's pal Vicente who is sending a chronically needy army to invade our nation. It's way past time for W to do something to stop it. If W, Border Patrol Chief Aguilar and the unnamed supervisors who gave these asinine orders can't/won't safeguard this nation's borders, then it's time for Amerikan citizens to fire the bastards and find someone who will get the job done before it's too damn late. Congress
Tackles Another Burning Issue A congressional subcommittee - the House Energy and Commerce Committee's oversight and investigations panel - is holding hearings on a drug test 'fixing' goodie that's called "The Whizzinator". Since an investigation of The Whizzinator sounds - and is - silly, these hacks will also blither about certain other, related, legally-manufactured drug test related products. I I know what you're thinking Sparky and I've got it covered. The Whizzinator is a fake wang that comes with a harness, a bladder, dried - guaranteed drug free - urine, plus instructions on its use. All you need is hot water, add the dried whiz, load up the bladder with the mixture then go take that drug free whiz. Big, big fun, but not if the congress has its way.
Congressional hearings? Congressional hearings about the Whizzinator? This belongs on a Saturday Night Live skit, not Capitol Hill. Self parody is running rampant in congress. The dirty little secret here is that congress made this Whizzinator hell with their asinine war on drugs and the countless edicts they passed to wage it. In this case, the hacks passed mandatory drug testing laws and the marketplace responded with the mighty Whizzinator. You'll get no sympathy for this self-inflicted wound here Legicrat peabrains. If they were devoted PIG readers, these congressional hacks would be up to speed on the Law of Unintended Consequences and the following PIGish wisdom: "For every bureaucratic action, there is an equal, and opposite, marketplace reaction." Afterthought: Purifying
The Highways in Michigan Michigan's Senate passed a bill this week that outlaws 'the "reckless" display of sexually explicit material inside a vehicle' when such material can be seen by other motorists. The fly in the happy horndog motoring ointment involves those DVD players easily bored motorists are putting in their ride. If you fall into this category and reside in the Wolverine State, be advised that this bill carries a very big 'or else' stick:
The ACLU promises to ride to Michigan's horndog motorists' rescue with a legal challenge based on the law's free speech infringements. Until then, if this law passes, watch your back, Michigan horndogs. Taxing
Ronald McDonald In The Motor City The Motor City needs a tax dollar infusion, stat, so Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick wants Detroit denizens to approve a 2% tax on fast food. It's big fun time in the Motor City. When, exactly, did grabbing a nosh at the Golden Arches get elevated to 'sin' status? Maybe it's only sinful if you reside in the Motor City? Possibly, but it wasn't that way when this pagan scribbler lived there in his rugrat days. As usual, everyone has something to say about the Mayor's new scheme to fill those ravenous city coffers. The Mayor and his homeboys insist that fast food patrons won't even notice the extra cost. Outraged by this fast food tax notion, the usual, whining suspects play the poverty card, by whimpering about the new tax's disproportionate impact on the city's poor. Since nobody in the Motor City 'gets it', this pagan scribbler offers the following advice to the city of his youth: if you stop spending money you don't have, you won't need to tax fast food. Smoke
Nazi Stupidity Timnath (Colorado) just passed a new ordinance that bans smoking in the city's bars and restaurants. There's just one tiny little problem that prevents the city's smoke police from enforcing the law. At press time, Timnath - population 223 - hasn't got any bars and restaurants. They had a restaurant that served booze along with its food, but it closed down last year after losing its liquor license. Be that as it may, should some dastardly booze and/or food purveying capitalist paint an 'open for business' bull's-eye on Timnath, the city is locked an loaded for big, Smoke Nazi fun. APRIL 2005
The Great Northwest Nanny State Source: Seattle Post-Intelligencer [04/27
This week, Washington's Nanny State horde passed a bill through the state legislature that will save the state's "problem gamblers" from themselves. Initially - during the first two years - funded by the state's lottery, this Legicrap lunacy would fund its feel good foolishness thereafter via a 'new tax on non-tribal card rooms, bingo halls and pull-tab purveyors that earn profits of more than $50,000 a year' (Intelligencer). Big, big fun, and SOP for this Left Coast, Socialist enclave. Trotting out all those three-hanky excuses about the families destroyed by 'problem gamblers', this Seattle fishwrap tried to play the 'it's for the children' card, without stating it explicitly. The closest they got were some statistics that fret about '5 percent of the adult population and 1 percent of adolescents' who 'experienced gambling problems at some point during their lives'. According to the Intelligencer another 9 percent of adolescents are 'at risk' whatever the hell that means in the real world. Undoubtedly, it's a waste of time to remind these Northwest Nitwits that saving people from themselves is not a legitimate government function, but it's one of those pagan scribbler imperatives. For starters, save your breath - and newsprint - about the costs that 'problem gamblers' impose on the state, because I don't want to hear about it. That wound is self-inflicted, Nanny State Nitwits, thanks to the taxpayer funded 'safety net' you inflicted on your state. It's what the Old Larry Elder calls the Welfare State argument and it's not gonna fly here in PIG's top secret bunker, so stick that bovine excrement where the sun don't shine. Banned
In Talibanma Talibanma (the state formerly known as Alabama) state legicrat Gerald Allen's new scheme isn't book burning, per se, but it's within spitting distance. Bent on - in his own words - "protecting the hearts and souls and minds of our children", Gerald is championing a bill that would - according to CBS - ban government school libraries from buying 'new copies of plays or books by gay authors or about gay characters'. This banishes such dastardly scribblers as Tennessee Williams, Truman Capote, Gore Vidal, Auden, Proust, and Whitman, to name a few. Staying true to their political agenda, CBS News painted Gerald's bill as blatant GLAAD BAAG bashing, but that's not the whole story. In reality, the bill's reach is much broader than the alleged journalists at CBS suggest. Before we explore this bill's thrilling implications , we need to start with what the bill actually says:
Now, let's see who wins Gerald Allen's banned in Bama sweepstakes under the state's prevailing Sexual Misconduct laws. According to the scribbler at the Polysci Blog, this legicrap's true impact is as follows:
The ensuing "Banned In Bama" publicity barrage has Gerald tweaking his censorship bill, here and there. Originally, Gerald wanted to add William Shakespeare to the list, but, we're now told that he exempted 'the classics'. What, exactly, does a dolt like Gerald consider a classic, aside from that perennial rustic favorite, the Sears Catalog? Only Gerald knows and nobody cares enough to ask him. Whatever his personal reading preferences, Gerald is also making noises about exempting Talibanma's public and Ivory Tower libraries from this bill's Draconian provisions. All this blithering, hand-wringing and Gerald pummeling gloss over one essential point. Since when is saving a tyke's "soul" a legitimate Nanny State function? The following quote from NRO minion John Derbyshire eviscerates all Nanny State nitwits -that means you, too, Gerald - with telling clarity:
Gerald and his antics are the reason this pagan scribbler holds Talibanma is such low regard. The following pagan prose was true when I first said it and it remains true to this very day: "Any state that wants to leave the union should be allowed to do so. But, Alabama should be thrown the hell out - screaming and kicking if necessary - no matter how much it wants to stay." Truer words, loyal readers...truer words. Georgia's
Voter ID Law Georgia Governor, Sonny Perdue, put his John Hancock on the hotly contested voter I.D. law (See "Voter I.D. Angst", March 31, in this section), that had certain Melanin-Enriched legicrats in an a panty-twisting uproar. Despite opposition from all the usual lefty suspects, voter ID is now Georgia law, almost. Due to Georgia's long, ignoble, history of 'suppressing minority voters', the new law is 'on hold', pending approval by the U.S. Justice Department. George
Soros Sighting Billionaire Marxist asshat, George Soros, crawled out from under his rock recently to attend what The Hill called "a carefully vetted gathering of 70 like minded millionaires and billionaires" in Scottsdale, Mexizona. Still determined to turn Amerika into a socialist - neo-Marxist - Eden by brute, economic, intimidation, bribery and government-wielded force, Soros pitched his latest scheme to become sole owner of Uncle Sam, Inc. Still smarting from the abject failure of his plot to buy the USA outright, during the last Oval Office derby, Georgie Porgie is back with a new idea. Actually, it's the same rancid notion, that's drenched in Frog perfume to cover the stench. Georgie Porgie's new plot involves enlisting other neo-Marxist asshats with deep pockets into supplying seed money for "progressive think tanks" to compete with such venerable VRWC think tanks, media outlets and leadership schools as The Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise Institute, Fox News and the Leadership Institute. Obviously Little Georgie leads a very sheltered life, or he'd be up to speed on the fun fact that Amerika is infested with progressive think tanks, media outlets and Marxist brainwashing cabals. In addition to the notoriously lefty Brookings Institution and the Rand Corporation, there are such bastions of neo-Marxism as: U.C. Berkeley, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Stanford, Penn, University of Michigan, NY Times, Hell-A Times, CNN, CNBC, Washington Post, ABC, CBS, NBC...the list is long and getting longer every damn day. The name for Georgie's new adventure in tyranny isn't anything as appropriate as "Billionaires for a Marxist Amerikan Eden". That would spoil the surprise Soros plans to spring on Amerika's sovereign individuals. For now he's trying to stay under the rational adult radar by calling his Marxist adventure "The Phoenix Group". PIG has a rude shock for you, Georgie boy, we know what you're doing and we're spreading the news. Afterthoughts: Nanny
State Lunacy Marshfield's (Mass.) Uncle Bud Skate Park is, by all reports, very popular, but the Bay State bureaucrats infesting the Architectural Access Board are determined to shut it down, unless Marshfield's elected officials make it user friendly for what Korrectnik asshats call "the differently abled". That's right, these Nanny State nitwits have their regulatory panties in a wad because a skate park isn't sufficiently handicap accessible. Conceived, planned, funded - they raised more than $300,000 - and built by a groupof volunteer parents and teens, the skate park careened off the rails when some dipstick decided to locate it on public land, and turn the whole operation over to the city. Now an 'official' public facility, the skate park blundered into the regulatory fast lane where it did a header into the Nanny State nitwits on the Architectural Access Board. The Access Board's complaints demonstrate how deeply the Bay State is mired in fetid, Korrectnik bovine excrement:
The bill for all this Korrectnik bovine excrement is a hefty $75,000, a tidy sum the city doesn't have lying around, but they gotta find it before April 25, or Bay State regulators will shut the park down. File this tribute to Nanny State abuse under 'no good deed goes unpunished' in your PIG News archives. Maine
Legicrats Play Unintended Consequences Roulette "For
every bureaucratic action, there is an equal and
opposite marketplace reaction." Maine's legicrats are poised to Emerilize a problem they created when they passed the Workplace Smoking Act in 1985. Although the aforementioned legicrap banned smoking in Maine's private workplaces, it carved out a marketplace niche for private clubs, plus any private workplace where all the employees agree to tolerate smoking. Over the intervening years legicrats gradually shrank this loophole. In 1993 restaurants were added to the "no smoking, no exceptions" list, but some eluded that cruel fate by operating with a tavern license. That stopped working in 2004 when bars and taverns were added to the "no smoking, no excuses" roster. Each time the legicrats changed the law, the marketplace did what it does best and exploited this legicrap loophole, creating a new set of marketplace winners...and losers. Fast forward to 2005 and we find a thriving - smoker friendly - private club trade that has the state's bars and taverns on the ropes. When the tavern keepers cried "no fair", the legicrats decided to play marketplace roulette again, with a new law - "An Act to Promote Parity in the Laws Governing Smoking in the Workplace" - that would add any business with paid employees to the "no smoking, no exceptions" rolls. It's a virtual certainty that this new round of Smoke Nazi roulette will fall victim to the venerable Law of Unintended Consequences via another marketplace reality check. Will Maine's legicrats ever wake up to the fun fact that, obviously, Maine's smokers don't want to be saved from themselves by reality-insulated Nanny State hacks? No way in hell, "we're doing this for your own good" Sparky. Supreme
Elephant Clan Irony It's pop quiz time at PIG News. Can you identify the Elephant Clan cabal that espouses the following political philosophy?
Peleocons? Nope. Neocons? Get real, Scooter. Theocons? What the hell are you smoking, red state Sparky? Give up? I don't blame you. The group that stands firmly behind small government and inalienable individual liberty is none other than the "Log Cabin Republicans", the Elephant Clan's best-known GLAAD BAAG cabal. Take a moment to scrape your jaw off the floor Scooter. If you need an adult beverage infusion, PIG feels your pain. If 'we' are feeling better now, we can wrap up this bad boy, Scooter. Call this pagan scribbler names if you must, but it sounds like these differently-sexual individuals no shit 'get it', when it comes to a properly-constitutional government. The puritanical pachyderm horde should stop trying to disown the Log Cabin Republicans and start listening to them for a change. Outrage
of The Week Bubba's national security advisor, Sandy Berger, walked into the National Archives, stole classified documents, subsequently destroyed the only known copies of a document relating to terror threats relating to the 2000 Millennial events, then lied about his antics when he got caught. He should be slammer bait, big damn time, but he's not, thanks to W's Justice Department. For reasons nobody wants to discuss, the feds only charged Berger with "unauthorized removal and retention of classified material" - a misdemeanor. Rather than go for the maximum penalty - a year in the graybar and a $100,000 fine - the feds wrist-slapped this Clintonista with a $10,000 fine plus a three year suspension of his security clearance. PIG is no shit outraged and you should be too. No justice, no peace! MARCH 2005
Voter Photo I.D. Angst Source: Newsday [03/31] Ethnocrats, career whiners, 'activists' and the chronically-offended have their Korrectnik panties in a bunch because legicrats in Georgia and Indiana are ready to force prospective voters to verify their identity with a photo I.D., before they get to cast their ballot. Making voters prove their identity? We're shocked, shocked I tell you. We're shocked that this isn't already a requirement from sea to shining sea. Korrectnik legicrats in Georgia and Indiana tried holding their breath until they turned blue, but when that didn't elicit any sympathy, they stomped out of the session in a huff. Why? They claim - where have we heard this one before - that this law unfairly punishes 'the poor' and "minorities", some-damn-how. Here's the Ethnocrat View on Photo I.D. for aspiring voters:
Here's the rational adult view on photo I.D. for aspiring voters:
At present, only 19 states require voter identification, and of those 19, only 5 insist on photo identification. The breaking news here isn't that these states require a voter to prove his, her, hisher, or its identity. The real news is that the 31 states don't take this common sense precaution to verify that those casting ballots are, legally, entitled to do so. Nanny
State Nitwits Theocratica (the state formerly known as Virginia) legicrats decided to make the upcoming hay fever season especially thrilling for the state's hay fever and allergy sufferers. If all goes according to their nutty, Nanny State plan, over-the-counter cold remedies will be banned throughout Theocratica. Anyone who needs these ubiquitous medications would be forced to find an open pharmacy, tell the pharmacist their whole life's story, then beg, grovel and howl like a dog before they get their medicine. Why? Because the asshats who make meth use a key ingredient - pseudoephedrine - to make their illegal concoctions.
Common sense joins inalienable individual liberty as another casualty in Amerika's catastrophic war on drugs. Unable to do a damn thing to stop, or even slow down, the illegal drug trade, Amerika's drug warriors continue to assault the inalienable liberty of law-abiding citizens. This proposed law is stupidity...on steroids, and that's a no shit fact. Mexico's
Other Illegal Immigration Secret Vicente Fox is an unabashed hypocrite when it comes to illegal immigration. Talking from both sides of his mouth, he demands that Uncle Sam open up America's borders, while his own government imposes harsh treatment those Central and South American's who, illegally, enter Mexico via its southern border. Senator John Kyle and Congressman Tom Tancredo didn't pull their punches when they nailed Vicente's hypocritical hide to the wall:
Unlike our illegal immigrant loving president, Congressman Tancreo and Senator Kyle both 'get it' when it comes to Vicente and his relentless campaign to export Mexican poverty. It's somewhat reassuring to know that at least two elected, Elephant Clan, officials have a spine, when it comes to Vicente Fox and his asinine antics. Peas
In a Pod W and his master, Vicente Fox, sound suspiciously alike when commenting on the Minuteman Project. Apparently, a group of Amerikan citizens that gathers near the border to monitor the scumbags invading our country is a dire threat to Vicente's plans. The Minuteman Project throws off Vicente's timetable for his scheme to establish a Greater Mexico that swallows up the nation formerly known as the United States of America. Amerikan citizens who dare to - gasp - peaceably assemble in their own nation? We're shocked, shocked I tell you, and so are Vicente and his toady, George W. Bush. Fox on the Minuteman Project:
While Vicente is on the subject of laws and lawbreakers, he might want to do something about the 485,000 border jumping scumbags he exports - illegally - into the United States, every goddamn year. That's right, 485,000 per year, according to a report by the Pew Hispanic Center. Any comments, Vicente, you [numerous expletives deleted] sombrero stomping, asshole? W On the Minuteman Project:
It sounds to this pagan scribbler like El Presidente Bush is reading from daddy Vicente's script. Maybe it's time for rational Amerikan adults to remind this border jumping scumbag coddling cretin that he was elected President of the United States, not Mexico. If he can't get that straight, maybe it's time to impose some early, involuntary, retirement by impeaching his sorry, Vicente loving ass. Afterthought:
Vigilantes? Hardly. Patriots trying to perform a job our president refuses to do? Bingo! Maine's
Confidentiality Law Big Brother will be looking over Johnny and Megan's shoulders in Maine, if state Rep. Randy Hotham succeeds in passing a bill that would force libraries throughout Maine to tell parents which books their offspring check out. Under prevailing state law, Johnny and Megan's taste in prose is protected from parental oversight a state confidentiality law that states: 'records at public libraries and university libraries are confidential, regardless of a patron's age, unless the patron agrees to release them or a court orders them to be released' (Press Herald). Are the reading habits of Maine's tykes a public policy issue? Not in this or any other lifetime, Nanny State Sparky. Afterthoughts: Political
Fun And Games Judicial
Appointments Unwilling to endure this threat lying down, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid drew a line in the sand and dared his Elephant Clan rivals to cross it. If these pachyderm thugs invoke the nuclear option, Senator Reid sounded a Daschel-like warning that he and his Donkey Clan homeboys will invoke a Senate shutdown that will bring all Senate activity - except for essential National Defense items - to a screaming halt. Senator Shutdown laid it all out in a letter to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist:
Since national security is, essentially, the only legitimate congressional function these federal legicrats are still honoring, and it's not likely to be curtailed, this pagan scribbler is hard pressed to see a downside to the threatened congressional shutdown. This pagan is invoking a Dirty Harry [pun unintended, but if it works, I'm willing to gloat] on this Donkey Clan threat: "Go ahead, Senator Shutdown, make my day." Border
Security
The immigration clauses, probably, won't make it through the Senate, but this is only the first round in long fight to secure our borders. With mounting voter outrage over federal foot dragging on securing our borders Senators will, eventually, feel the heat and allow the measures to pass, in some form. If they steadfastly refuse to secure our borders, there will be a lot of new faces in the Senate after next year's mid-term elections. PIG continues to ask the burning question: Must we wait for another 9-11 class attack that can be traced to our unsecured southern border before congress wakes the hell up and takes meaningful steps to secure our borders? The answer, regrettably, seems to be "yes". Fun
Nanny State Fact If you live in Maine and decant your prescribed medications from their original container into those plastic pill holders that have a nook for each day of the week, you're breaking the law. The prevailing state law is so over the top about this edict that it mandates a jail term. Bold New Concept. At least one Down East Legicrat, State Rep. George Bishop, thinks this law needs to be nuked, so he authored a bill to restore sanity in lefty infested Maine. Good luck, dude, because you're gonna need it. Nanny State edicts - even those this asinine - are burrowed in deeper than a tick on a Southern-Fried bloodhound. Jersey
Legicrat Paints a Tax Punk Bull's-Eye On Televised
Poker Alarmed over the boob tube's newest programming mania - televised poker tournaments - might drive gambling addicts over the edge, a Jersey Legicrat, Assemblywench Joan Voss, wants to impose a state tax - she calls it a surcharge - on cable purveyors, if they don't do the right thing. The 'right thing' in this instance involves the state's cable television purveyors pumping some dead presidents into gambling addiction treatment cabals.
At least one gambling addiction 'activist' thinks this surcharge notion is nifty in the extreme.
Anticipating the inevitable consequence of her antics, Ms. Voss vows to legally prevent cable purveying capitalists from passing the added costs on to their customers. And here you were worrying, needlessly. Personal accountability is on life support in Jersey - film at eleven. Gone
In 60 Seconds [This is a follow-up to a story covered by PIG News on 05/22/2004. You can find that story the Nanny State News Archives] Hollywood and Congress are locked in a pitched battle over an Emerilized DVD player that allows the rigidly righteous consumer to "filter curse words, sex scenes and violence out of movie DVD's" (MSNBC). PIG News described the relevant technology this way, last May:
When used with a properly-encoded DVD, Clear Play's electronic nanny allows the user to set his, her, hisher, or its level of indecency from "let it all hangout" down to "just roll the closing credits". Since the lynchpin for this technology is a pre-censored movie disk, the only way Congressional puritans can make this technology street legal involves bending existing copyright laws to the breaking point, to allow some third party - Clear Play in this instance - to purify movie DVD's, without the copyright holder's permission. That's exactly what this federal Legicrap allows, but don't you dare think they're doing it to advance their own puritanical agenda. If you don't know this Legicrap is "for the children", you're in a coma.
This fetid federal...floater, is a Legicrap goodie entitled the "Family Entertainment and Copyright Act", a Nanny State notion that would allow Clear Play to reduce a cinema classic like "Kill Bill" to a whiplash inducing 60 seconds from start to finish. That might thrill the Carl Rove Kool Aid swilling new puritans spitless, but I doubt that those whose intellectual property are being trampled by Clear Play and others of that ilk are breaking out the champagne. Afterthoughts A
Mind-Numbing, Nanny State Notion If the Legicrap making its way through Minnesota's legislature passes, Minnesotans must wait until 8 a.m. on their 21st birthday, before they can down that celebratory brewskie. Why? In order to 'save lives' this bill decrees that, in the fetid bureaucratic minds that passes for officialdom in Minnesota, a person isn't legally 21, until 8 a.m. on their birthday. The fun factoid here is a coming of age ritual called "power-hour celebrations". What, you ask, is a "power hour celebration"? The bill's perpetrator, State Rep. Morrie Lannin, spews these alleged facts:
Are bodies piling up like cordwood due to "power hour" alcohol abuse? Not exactly. So far, only one moron swilled itself into a room temperature transition, and another dolt came 'thisclose' to grabbing the room temperature transition brass ring. Rep. Lanning acknowledges this, but insists - like every true Nanny State nitwit - that if his Legicrap only saves one person from his, her, hisher, or its own stupidity, "it's worth it". Pennsylvania's
Nanny State Nitwit Rep. W. Curtis Thomas, a Pennsylvania state Legicrat with entirely too much time on his hands launched a bill - a Legicrap stinker dubbed the "Gasoline Station Dispensing Safety Act" - that would - we are not making this up - outlaw self-service at your local gas station because it's a safety hazard, but, more important still, it discriminates against seasoned citizens, the poor and the differently-abled. How, you ask, is the dastardly discrimination perpetrated? Petrol wrangling punks who offer self serve car fodder make consumers pay more for full serve. Legicrat Thomas spouts drivel about 'youths' who lurk at self-serve petrol purveyors and offer to help the oldster, and/or the differently-abled pump their fuel...for a tip. Youthful capitalists in Pennsylvania? We're shocked, shocked I tell you and so is this Legicrat retard. This Keystone State dim bulb claims these lurking menaces amuse themselves with vandalism, but he betrays his true motives with this capitalism-bashing prose:
Legicrat Thomas is mad as hell that these dastardly capitalists are separating Pennsylvania denizens from their money when everyone knows that ripping off state residents the Nanny State's sole purpose for existing. For his utterly asinine antics, Rep. W. Curtis Thomas is finalist for PIG's coveted Nanny State Nitwit of the Week award. Nanny
State News In Brief Maine Mexifornia D.C. FEBRUARY 2005
Down East Legicrap Source: Kennebec Journal (Maine) [02/28] With the new legicrap session in full swing, Maine's legicrats continue to tackle the state's burning issue. The following tidbits are all too real:
Artificial Gobblers
Carny Coffin Nails Carny cancer sticks, I get...more or less...but turkey decoys? We are, believe it or not, amused in the extreme. Afterthoughts Burning Question: Is it mere chance that liberal bastions like Maine, Washington, Minnesota and Wisconsin are thisclose to socialist Canada? The
O'Neill Plan W's decision to dump his first U.S. Treasury Secretary, Paul O'Neill, like a bad habit no longer puzzles rational adults after Peerless Paul hatched a stupefying plan to rescue Social Security. Peerless Paul begins where all hacks begin, with the unwarranted assumption that Uncle Sam's Social Security pyramid scheme is worth saving. He strikes out into uncharted political hack territory when he suggests that upon each child's birth, Uncle Sam open a $2,000 savings account in the tyke's name. Under Paul's scheme, each year thereafter, Uncle Sam will add another $2,000 to each tyke's account until the young 'un reaches age 18. After age 18, the dead presidents infusions stop and the money is left in the account to grow, untouched, until the account holder hits age 65. Are we all thrilled spitless yet, Sparky? Reality-insulated, like all career hacks, Peerless Paul assumes some beyond fun -alleged - facts:
Paul, dude, take your medication like a good boy and those voices will stop. Without those voices, Paul might finally realize that the solution to Amerika's retirement funding isn't another federal entitlement. The real solution begins by drastically reducing government until it shrinks down to its properly-constitutional functions. If you live near Peerless Paul, stop by his domicile and increase the voltage on his shock treatments. Slot
Machine Referendum Next month (March 8), voters in Broward and Miami-Dade counties (Florida) will stumble to the polls and punch a hanging chad on a referendum that would, if passed, put one-armed bandits in 7 racetracks and jai-alai frontons. Using such names as 'Yes for Better Schools and Jobs', the pro-gambling forces - funded by deep, gambling industry pockets - control a very one-sided debate, with slick ads that promote the 'tax dollars for educrap' mantra. This one-sided debate could end, any minute now, if the loyal opposition has anything to say about it. The aforementioned loyal opposition is a curious mixture of family values goose-steppers who fear that the kiddies will be tainted for life if the referendum passes and certain Siberian-Amerikan tribes who don't want to lose their slot machine monopoly. Both groups are marshaling their forces for a last minute ad blitz and 'slot machines are the source of all evil' messages delivered via such cost conscious means as toll booth handouts and massive e-mail campaigns. Technically 'neutral' the Christian Coalition has a voters guide that lays out the arguments for both sides, plus info from a study about the effects of legalized gambling: crime and gambling addiction increase, and other businesses will take a hit. PIG News will be there with bells on, when the votes are counted. FCC
Power Grab Unless a U.S. Court of Appeals slaps them down, the FCC will get away with a power grab that allows them to dictate specific details about your chosen entertainment electronics. Under an FCC edict set to take effect on July 1, the FCC mandates new features on computers, television sets and VCR's that will prevent you from copying or distributing certain shows.
The FCC admits that congress didn't give them the power to regulate electronic gear in this fashion, but, they reason, since congress didn't specifically outlaw these FCC antics, they can boldly go where no bureaucratic asshats should go. Using this alleged 'logic', the FCC might impose any damn rule it pleases, because 'congress didn't tell them they couldn't'. It's no shit time to nuke the FCC out of existence. This is not a drill. Bingo
Bonkers In Oregon Oregon justice system officials went postal, five months ago, when some rat bastard complained that the vintage citizens who visit the Klamath Basin Senior Citizen Center were - gasp - playing bingo for money. As silly as this sounds, it's much more irrational than you think. It's not the senior center's 'high stakes' bingo game that got them in trouble, because the center has a license for that. The bingo that made the state justice system cut is a nickle-a-card bingo game played by 200 members belonging to the 'Golden Age Club', while using the senior center. They didn't have a license for the game they've been playing for more than twenty years. Nickle bingo! I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Although, this week the Klamath County Board of Commissioners voted to include bingo in their 'social gaming ordinance', making the Golden Age Club's bingo mania street legal, the epic begs the obvious question. Why do sovereign Amerikan individuals need the Nanny State's permission to play some bingo - or any other game for that matter - for money? It is no shit none of the government's damn business and you can quote me on that. Our inalienable individual liberty is getting nibbled away, bit by bit and nobody seems to give a flaming damn except this mad as hell PIG News scribbler. [That primal scream you just heard emanating from the top secret pagan scribbler bunker is the usual sovereign individual outrage. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling much, much better, now.] Canine
Profiling An Illinois state Legicrat, Jerry Mitchell (Elephant Clan), wants to outlaw certain, notoriously aggressive canines - Pit Bulls, Rottweilers, Dobermans, etc. - throughout Illinois. Before he can sanctify canine profiling, Legicrat Mitchell must convince his Legicrat pals to repeal a two-year-old state law that forbids 'most localities from banning or regulating any particular breed' (Sun-Times). Although this Windy City fishwrap doesn't spill the beans, I'm guessing that, if pressed for his reasoning, Rep. Mitchell will trot out the aspiring tyrant's favorite excuse: It's for the children. Afterthoughts Rain-Soaked,
Sin Tax Wrangler Proximity to socialist-infested, egregiously Korrectnik, Canada is exacting a toll on Washington (the state) and its hack horde, a fun fact that is demonstrated by the antics of an Elephant Clan, state representative, Rodney Tom. Rep. Tom just served up a proposal that would boost cancer stick taxes by a hefty $1.00 a pack. This would make the state's per pack tax a hefty $2.50 - $25.00 a carton, under this pachyderm punk's proposal. And why, you ask, would an Elephant Clan Legicrat want to raise taxes on the state's smokers? You should know this stuff, by now, but I'll give you a kick in the right direction, because I'm such a nifty dude at heart: Rep. Tom's Nanny State social engineering is, as usual, "for the children".
By invoking the Welfare State canard - the alleged cost smoker's health care needs impose on the state - Rep. Tom demonstrates that, in his state, the rival political clans are using the same, sorry-ass political playbook. Both political clans ignore the fact that the Nanny State inflicted this - alleged - health care cost wound on itself when it removed healthcare from the marketplace and plunked it down in the political arena. Rep. Tom needs to wake up and smell in the inalienable individual liberty coffee. The smoker volunteered to endanger his, her or its own health when, he, she or it started smoking. Individual liberty - and it's corollary, individual accountability - mandates that all costs connected with this habit - including any healthcare costs - must be borne, exclusively, by the smoker. It's annoying in the extreme that Rep. Tom, and all others of his Nanny State hack ilk, don't understand a simple, straightforward concept like: this is none of the Nanny State's damn business, so butt out [pun attempted, deliberately]. Down
East News They're
Taxing What?
In bygone years, this bovine sperm distributor - Genex Cooperative, Inc. - paid the tax but they discontinued that practice on February 1, 2005. Making life especially nifty for Maine's dairy farmers, the state "regulates" milk prices, so it's impossible to pass this new cost of doing business onto milk consumers. This bureaucratic Catch-22 is one reason for the statewide decline in dairy farms - 775 in 1986; less that 400 now. Maine's bureaucrats are getting up close and personal with a venerable taxation truism: when you tax something, you get less of it. Emerilizing
Down East Disability Under this new rule, if you wear glasses or a hearing aid, for example, your employer must make it possible - some damn how - for you to perform your job without these appliances. Also, if the 'disabled' employee deems the employer's disability coddling measures insufficient, he, she, or it can claim "discrimination".
When this edict finally takes effect - a virtual certainty in liberal Maine - listen for the sound businesses stampeding to leave Maine for a more enlightened business environment. File this epic under "Self-Inflicted, Nanny State wounds". Emerilizing
The Venerable Ball And Chain Al Gore's Tennessee home boys are mulling legicrap that would offer an Emerilized form of wedded bliss called "covenant marriage". In Cliff Note terms, this Emerilized ball and chain gig is somewhat harder to initiate and much, much harder to terminate.
Tennessee's well-meaning, Nanny State, asshats need to butt out. Consenting, marriage-minded adults don't need the Nanny State to dictate the terms and conditions, ad nauseam, for their marriage. If two consenting adults want to kick their bliss up several notches, they should draw up a legally-binding contract that sets forth all the terms and conditions for their life-bonding union. The government's only legitimate task in this case is enforcing - adjudicating - this voluntary, private, contract if and/or when one or both parties violates the contracts terms. W's
Progressive Tax Policy Fact: Thanks to W's tax cuts, the tax cuts that the Donkey Clan decried as "tax cuts for the rich", the top 5% of wage earners - those making at least $140,000 per year - went from paying less than 52% of income taxes collected to shelling out more than 54% of income taxes collected. Based on quotes from this Washing Times piece, the aforementioned fact doesn't sit will with certain economists who envision trouble ahead if this trend persists: Stephen
Moore, President of the Free Enterprise Fund "You've got people voting on government programs and how much government should spend, but a large percentage of them don't have any stake in the game because they don't pay any federal income taxes." Daniel
Mitchell, senior economist at the Heritage Foundation "So many people have been taken off the tax rolls in Europe that they wind up supporting these welfare state policies that cripple European economies. And I don't think we want to go down that path." Grover
Norquist, president of Americans for Tax Reform "The reason why you want everyone paying 10 percent [the flat tax proposal] is so the politicians treat everyone equally and don't divide the population into different groups," he said. "The problem with any sort of progressive or graduated income tax, and the problem with many tax credits, is that you've divided the electorate into different groups, and then a clever politician can mug them one at a time." Don't hold your breath waiting for a critical Amerikan voter mass to clamor for an end to the Federal tax assault on achievers, because it won't happen in your lifetime. There are way too many greedy, obnoxious, lazy, dolts who like things just the way they are: "Take everything those fatcats got and give it to parasite asshats like me." Sanity
Prevails In Virginia Unwilling to follow the state's lower house into legislative ignobility, Virginia's Senate dropped the droopy pants bill that has the rational adults around the world laughing at the commonwealth. For those who missed the story, the bill in question would slap 'a $50 fine on people who wear the pants so low that their underwear visible in "a lewd or indecent manner"...'(Post-Intelligencer). By a unanimous vote, a senate committee put the bill out of its misery, resorting the commonwealth's good name. Sanity wins a round in the Virginia legislature! It's "go figure" time in the pagan scribbler bunker. Bay
State Tax Tyrants Newton (Massachusetts) tax collectors served public notice on 26 property owners that, unless their property tax is paid, stat, the city will seize their home and auction it off for the unpaid taxes. In one case, where a property owner ran up a hefty $29,000 in unpaid taxes, the city hacks might have a point. In other instancess, the city is tyrannical in the extreme:
The rumbling sound emanating from the Bay State isn't an earthquake. It's Sam Adams rolling over in his grave. Assorted
Fun Facts About W's Budget Antics When it comes to the fiscal discipline W touts so relentlessly - this year is no exception - he talks a good story but rarely lives up to his own rhetoric. The following factoids illustrate this problem:
Anyone who bought in on the "tax cuts for the rich" diatribes aimed at W's tax cuts will find the following revelation a thrilling victory for Amerika's class warriors:
Tax cuts for the rich? I way don't think so, class warfare Sparky. Frivolous
Nanny State Notions A bill making it's way through the Mexas state legislature is the wild hair up a state Legicrat's - Rep. Vicki Truitt - boom boom that makes her borderline postal. Deeming petty annoyances like the illegal immigrant tidal wave sweeping across the state's southern border, and cess-schools that don't educate unworthy of her tax funded time, this hackette wants her legicrat cronies to tackle a public policy problem worthy of their undivided attention: which boob tube and boom box weather nitwits get to use the label "meteorologist". Representative Truitt is up to 'here' with boob tube and boom box weather wingnuts who, bogusly call themselves "meteorologists", so she served up legicrap making it a state crime to deem oneself a "meteorologist" unless you have a 4-year, bachelor of science in meteorology. She wants these phoney baloney weather experts stopped and she want's them stopped right damn now, or else. The nanny impulse at work here involves some hidden danger that might inflict grievous bodily harm on Mexas denizens if they blindly trust their broadcast media weather dolt. If this legicrap lunacy doesn't get on Mexas' taxpayers last raw nerve, then they deserve the kind of government their elected hacks inflict on them. Just in case a clueless Mexas denizen stumbles over this pagan scribbler prose, here are two inescapable conclusions arising from this legicat wench's antics:
If this is the biggest problem facing Mexas, life is damn good. The Legicrats should 'do the right thing', cancel the new legicrap session and go find real jobs. Afterthought
Bold new concept: Troy Kimmel is knowledgeable enough to teach meteorology at the University of Texas, but, according to Rep. Truitt, his weather prognostications can't be trusted. Take your medication like a good girl, darlin and the voices will stop giving you all these asinine notions. JANUARY 2005
Kommandant Powell's Successor? Source: Broadcast & Cable Magazine [01/31] One name on the short list to replace FCC Kommandant Powell, FCC Commissioner Kevin Martin, isn't likely to make broadcasters, or free speech adherents, break out the Champagne. Broadcast & Cable sounds the warning with these chilling comments:
Brent Bozell's secret twin? You better believe it, censorship bonkers Sparky. Banned
In Houston The instant a Houston (Mexas) hackette, Councilwoman Pam Holm, spotted porn queen Jenna Jamison's tome - "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale" - on the new arrivals shelf in a Houston public library, she raced off like a scalded dog to whimper about it to Houston Mayor, Bill White. Like every other aspiring tyrant, this Houston 'Nanny' justifies her tyranny by insisting "It's for the children". Equally alarmed that some wayward tyke might actually - gasp - read Jenna's prose, Mayor White ordered that the sin-drenched tome be removed from public display and locked away in the closed stacks of Houston's central, downtown library. Technically, the book is still available, but anyone that determined to read Jenna's prose will find it much easier to buy it on Amazon.com, because getting it out of library lockdown bondage is complicated and very time consuming. Believe it or not, the hypersensitive hackette still isn't satisfied, because, according to existing library policy, Jenna's tome is still available to 'the children'. Since nobody bothers to parce this whining wench's definition of 'children', I'm guessing that, in her alleged brain, "children" encompasses anyone younger than Old Ka-Boom (the Cross Cult deity). Publically, she's hammering library officials to change the offending policy, but you gotta know that, privately, she wants nothing less than the unrestricted power to determine which books are 'suitable' for Houston's reading public. In the 'good old days' - their view, not mine - these censorship bonkers hacks would do the properly-pious thing and burn these evil tomes. With Mexas securely in the 'red state' column, those good old days could return, any damn day now. Nothing reeks like the suffocating stench given off by liberty-hating, book burning, Nanny State nitwits. Theocratica
Legicrap A new Theocratica (the state formerly known as Virginia) Legicrap season is under way and several bills floated to the surface, demanding pagan scribbler attention. The following Legicrap notions are all too real:
Theocratica continues its headlong plunge into Nanny State oblivion. It's no longer a suitable place for rational adults. Avoid it by any means necessary. This is not a drill. Seattle
Hack Stupidity Having solved all the city's major problems, Seattle's City Council is scraping the bottom of the barrel with some revised rules of engagement for the city's taxi drivers. With way too much time on their hands, the city council is beavering away on a comprehensive taxcab bill that includes the following Nanny State gems:
Nowhere in this fishwrap article does anyone - taxi drivers, or journalists - raise the overriding issue: why is the city intruding into the marketplace by dictating - in minutia - how taxi companies must run their businesses. Micro-managing taxi service is not now - never has been - a legitimate government function. Nanny
State Nitwits Springfield,
Michigan If he'd left a snow heap in the middle of the street, I might cut the relevant Michigan hacks some slack. Might, but it's not a slam dunk. It's okey dokey - to these Wolverine State hacks - when the city snowplows block your driveway with a wall of snow. But, when a citizen removes the snow and parks it out of everybody's way on the far side of the street, he's looking at 90 days in the slammer and a $100 fine. What's wrong with this picture? Every goddamn thing. San
Francisco, Mexifornia The primary complaint about those ubiquitous plastic bags stores use involves the way they pollute the pristine Gulag environment. In a perfect, Marxist world, these commissars would outlaw all bags, and make customers carry their purchases home, some-damn-how, without dropping them all over the pristine Gulag environment. The Gulag is 'out there', but not that far...yet. Afterthought If the Gulag wants to clean up the city's environment in a meaningful way, they should dump this tax the bags lunacy and do something to stop the Gulag's homeless horde from using the city streets as their toilet. Gulag denizens unlucky enough to live downwind from a homeless enclave knows, too damn well, what I mean. Morning
After Pill Still In FDA Limbo Faced with discordant voices on both sides of this contentious issue, the FDA isn't ready to go on the record with a 'final answer' on over-the-counter, non-prescription, sales of the "morning after" pill. Unfortunately for these FDA bureaucrats, this is one political hot potato that can't be ignored, forever. Sooner or later, they must bite the bullet and say...some-damn-thing. Ambiguity isn't the problem here, since the morning after pill battle lines are familiar and clearly drawn. Feminists anchor their rhetoric to "women's reproductive rights". Meanwhile, the publically pious opposition clamors about the ensuing moral decay, the instant this morning after pill gets the FDA nod. As usual, both groups miss the salient point. This fishwraps blazing headline - "FDA is to decide whether to sell the birth-control over the counter", should elicit an immediate, liberty-intensive response: Why is this any of the government's damn business? This fishwrap's headline writer - along with NOW, the FDA, and the Concerned Women of America - erroneously, assume that making such determinations - telling a firm where, and how, it can, or can't market an item - is a proper government function. It's not...never has been, never will be. For those who insist on a prediction about this FDA dilemma, I'll take a stab at it. Under W and his rigidly righteous administration, non-prescription morning after pill sales ain't gonna fly. You heard it here, first. Legicrap
Bonkers Down East As out of control as they are, Mexifornia legicrats still haven't cornered the market on wingnut legicrap. Down East (Maine) legicrats added several newsworthy goodies to this year's legicrap agenda:
Stupid? No shit, Sherlock. Proof that there's no intelligent life in Maine's legislature? You better damn believe it, Nanny State hack Sparky. Keeping
Florida Beaches Clean Melbourne (Florida) hacks went Nanny State bonkers when they banned cheek-baring, thong swimsuits throughout this Land of Hanging Chads city. Henceforth, if you show too much of your boom-boom in Melbourne, it will cost you $500 and could get you a room in the local graybar. Determined to exterminate any fun within the city limits, Melbourne's city council 'slashed the city's adult entertainment zone from 937 acres to 40 acres along North Drive' (Local 10). Visit action-packed Melbourne? I don't think so, Tim. I'll take my vacation in Amerikan, not this sun-drenched, Nanny State gulag. A
Hate Crime In Queens Queens denizen Daniel Romano isn't your run-of-the-mill hate crime victim. The 20-year-old made the certified hate crime victim cut when two local hormone gorillas beat Daniel to a pulp because Romano is a well known - throughout the hood - Satanist. Confused? Don't be, because I've got your back. Religiosity is a protected class under the prevailing hate crime edict. Queens District Attorney Richard Brown affirmed this fun fact when he certified Satanism as a recognized - in Queens - religion. Just like that, he transformed a routine assault by two teenage punks into a 15-year in a graybar, hate crime rap. Like any "hate crime", this one is utterly asinine, because it makes the perpetrators' thoughts more important than their actions. Two punks armed themselves with the proverbial blunt instruments and attacked another individual, without provocation. Their actions - the simple fact that, unprovoked, they initiated force against another individual - are the only stop the presses facts in this case. I don't give a flaming damn why they did it, and neither should the relevant justice system officials. '...Hate crime is a politically motivated red herring specifically created to placate the whining victim groups. Instead of creating new crime definitions just to make 'victim' groups feel better, why don't these whining zealots simply punish all criminals to the full extent of the law? We could start by abolishing all the excuses Amerika’s bleeding hearts use to shift blame away from the criminal, but the excuse abuse, shyster-shrink cabal won’t allow that. This ethnocrat, Don Quixote-like tilting of the hate crime windmill is much easier, much more enriching, than doing something about the epidemic of real crime...' (PIG: ethnocrats_pintail.html) The only breaking news in this latest hate crime fiasco is the thrilling realization that these bleeding hearts have broadened the certified victims category to include Satanists. I'll let you tell John Hagee and his Cross Cult homeboys. Government
Takes It's SPAM War to Nevada The feds painted a SPAM punk bull's-eye on six Sin City firms when a Las Vegas-based federal judge signed off on a restraining order that could shut the SPAM punks down. The six companies are accused of violating Uncle Sam's anti-SPAM law - Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003, A.K.A. "Can Spam.":
Like any computer literate, rational adult, I go postal when this intrusive, electronic huckstering floods my e-mail inbox. However...I am more than a tad troubled over this federal intrusion into cyberspace via this "Can SPAM" edict. It smells like the first step in a federal takeover of cyberspace. The problem with the Internet - the problem that makes it so difficult to deal with SPAM punks - is that nobody has ownership of the infastructure. These anti-SPAM laws give the government a foothold in cyberspace, and pave the way for "the Public Information Super highway". The last damn thing we need is "the public internet", because in a heartbeat, Amerika's self-appointed censor, Brent Bozell, would be dictating web content in minute detail. Florida's
Regulation Bonkers Dweebs A Florida wenclet - 10-year-old Carolyn Lipsick - got nailed by Miami Beach bureaucracy when she tried to raise money for tsunami victims with her roadside lemonade stand. "All roadside vendors are banned.", Miami Beach bureaucrats blithered, when Carolyn and her mom tried to get the lemonade stand licensed. That seemed to settled the matter, until the story hit a local boob tube outlet. That fast, the same city hacks started singing a new, much more conciliatory tune, but it was too late, because, by then, the state's Chief Financial Officer, Tom Gallagher, had Carolyn's back.
PIG is pleased to report that Capitol employees shelled out a cool $500 for this young capitalist's coffers. Kudos are conferred on Tom Gallagher and the generous folks in Tallahassee for making Carolyn's dream a reality. Brickbats are deserved by those too little, too damn late Miami hacks. Theocratica
Update The usual Theocratica (the state formerly known as Virginia), red state retard suspects started out the new year with a two-pronged family values assault on the differently-sexual. Prong one features a proposed "marriage amendment" to the state's constitution that restricts state-sanctioned marriage to "a union between one man and one woman". Prong two is a silly, but essentially harmless, stunt that serves up a 'special driver's license plate for supporters of traditional marriage. The license plate would feature two interlocked golden wedding bands over a red heart' (Times). Both family values adventures are expected to fly through Theocratica's Elephant Clan controlled legislature...And here you were, worrying needlessly. The state that produced inalienable individual liberty's most eloquent defender, Thomas Jefferson, is no longer a safe haven for sovereign individuals seeking refuge from a rights-snuffing Nanny State. This is not a drill. Petty
South Florida Tyrants Textbook Nanny State tyranny erupted when the hacks running a wealthy South Florida island community deemed a new denizen's lawn, Marco Island uncool.
Ed retaliated by painting part of his 'banned in Marco Island' abode pink with purple and green polka dots. Give 'em hell, dude. Afterthoughts |
|
©
Copyright 1993-2006 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
|
|
|
|
||||||
|
|
