PIG NEWS ARCHIVES | COMMENTARY

JANUARY 2004

Viewing W From a New Perspective
Source: PIG Commentary

Setting aside W's warrior against terror role, a role that is, in large part, driven by external forces, this pagan scribbler will, instead, focus on W's volitional, domestic oval office antics. Tragically, W's so-called domestic policy is driven by his obsession with winning a second term in office. Operating like a political whore, he sells himself to any group - even illegal aliens - in his pathetic plea for votes, and he's doing all this political pandering with the taxpayers' hard earned money. Political expediency is his modus operandi. Personal triumph in 2004 is his only vision for Amerika's future. Getting re-elected is the driving force for his domestic policy agenda. All this is true and sickening, but it only identifies what he's doing, without identifying his underlying motive.

W is driven by the unrelenting donkey clan taunts about 'Selected not elected', persistent taunts that get on W's last, raw nerve. Unable...unwilling to simply shrug it off, W is determined to prove his critics wrong with a conclusive, unambiguous triumph in November 2004. His political inferiority complex is so massive that W must win in 2004, by any means necessary. He's so single-minded about it that he willingly...eagerly...callously tramples on a sovereign individual's inalienable liberty to get that second term.

If he succeeds, the big loser won't be the donkey clan - he's already 'borrowed' their biggest, government bloating programs for his own use. The big loser will be the sovereign Amerikan individuals who are enslaved by W's humongous, nanny government legacy. We need divided government to slow down the nanny government juggernaut and we need it right damn now! The best way to get that is dumping W in 2004. He's gotta go and this point is no longer negotiable.

Afterthought
For those who care, here are some groups this political slut sold himself into big government bondage to earn their support:

Holy Rollers: Faith-Based initiative; partial birth abortion ban; stem cell research ban; support for marriage amendment.

Border Jumping Beaners and their Cohorts: Undefended borders; social security for non-citizens; amnesty for illegals; government freebies like healthcare, college tuition, government cess-school Educrap for illegal aliens.

Farmers: Farm welfare bill; protectionist restrictions on foreign agricultural imports

Seniors: Medicrap expansion, a refusal to make meaningful changes to Social Security or Medicrap, knowing full well that both are doomed to extinction within a couple decades

Unions: Protectionist tariffs that earn him votes in key states...steel and textile tariffs get him support in key regions

Hack Incumbents: Campaign finance reform makes incumbents virtually invulnerable. The only way they leave office is achieving room temperature or retiring.

Sinister Soundwaves I
Source: PIG Rant

Korrectniks fear certain words so much they attempt to, permanently, banish them, lest some hypersensitive dolt get a boo-boo on their fragile psyche. A prime example of a Korrectnik banned word is 'fat'. Call some hippo in a human suit 'fat' and they go postal. How ironic is it that the same cretins who blither ad nauseam about our obesity epidemic go bonkers if you call some wide load 'fat'? Very. 'Fat' is a perfectly appropriate word, a word that everyone understands when they hear it. Thanks to Korrectnik carping, we are hounded into euphemisms that don't covey the desired message efficiently.

A Korrect to the max, government cess-school busybody will tell you that your little Johnny is 'overweight'. If, like me, you're a word purist, you might reply with something like this:

"Overweight? What is he a piece of airport luggage? Johnny isn't overweight, he's fat,not that it's any of your business. His eating habits are my concern, not yours. You have enough trouble teaching students to read, write and compute during the 12 years you subject them to your Korrectnik indoctrination. Maybe, if you spent more time on the 3 R's and less on irrelevant crap like Johnny's tonnage, your cess-school graduates could actually read the diplomas you give them."

Words only have as much power - for good or ill - as the listener gives them. If some wide load gets a psychological boo-boo because you call him, her or it 'fat', it might, just might prod them into losing some tonnage. If not, he better learn to shrug off being called 'fat' because it's the most appropriate description for his physical condition.

The Korrectnik delusion that banning words alters reality is more than asinine, it's a blatant assault on our inalienable liberty.

Afterthought
In my formative years, clothes purveyors deemed porkers of the male persuasion 'husky'. If Johnny has a single working synapse, he'll look around the store's 'husky' section and notice that every lad in that department is fat. A 'husky' is a sled dog. Johnny is still fat.

Liberal, Conservative - Defined
Source:
PIG Commentary

Individuals who espouse liberalism (Progressives, Socialists, Marxists) believe they are 'smarter than the average bear'. Self-described liberals prove their superior intellect by 'helping' the merely mortal via government coerced coddling: transfer of wealth schemes that 'level the economic playing field'; social justice schemes that punish the achiever and reward the incompetent via set-asides; placating the properly-hyphenated horde via hate crime laws, etc.

Individuals who espouse conservatism believe they are 'more righteous than the average bear'. Self-described conservatives impose their superior righteousness thought government edicts that coerce morality from the merely mortal: drug laws; censorship; criminalizing certain sexual acts between consenting adults; injecting their supernaturalism into government cess-school curriculum; repealing property rights through local zoning ordinances that restrict/abolish certain 'adult' firms...book stores, theaters, strip joints, etc.

Both liberals and conservatives agree on the central point: sovereign individuals can't be allowed to conduct their own lives without 'guidance' from the liberal eggheads or the conservative morality Nazis.

Amerika's Parasite Politics
Source: PIG Commentary

Politics in Amerika is driven by this nation's parasite horde. No matter what Amerikans call themselves...liberal, moderate, or conservative, the vast majority want Nanny-State protection. The primary political tug of war does NOT involve thumbs up or thumbs down on the Nanny-State itself. Their only disagreement centers on who controls the pie...which group(s) get the biggest slice.

There's no mystery about Amerika's future: a cradle to grave Nanny-State controlled - politically - by parasites and the asshats who coddle them. Armed with this certainty, we're left with one issue to decide: how fast do we want to get there. Your gut instinct tells you 'go slow' but that's a mistake.

Given the fact that we're headed for a Socialist Nanny-State and powerless to prevent it, there's no point in dawdling. The fact is that once there, Amerika will collapse because the inverted pyramid with hordes of parasites being supported by a shrinking - too small, ultimately - producer populace is inherently unstable. Amerika's Socialist nightmare will end in chaos when the producers who can't escape, follow Ayn Rand's advice and 'shrug'.

This collapse is necessary, because, the only way to save the original American Dream is to destroy the Socialist Amerikan Nanny-State and the political forces that sustain it. When the collapse comes - and it will because the Socialist Nanny-State being constructed can't be sustained in the long run - even the parasite horde will finally 'get it'. They won't like it, but the human survival instinct is a powerful motivator. At that point, the parasite horde will be helpless and needing a strong hand to guide them. That's the moment the producers have their one chance to take control and rebuild a properly-Constitutional national government. The sooner we get there...the sooner we begin again, with sovereign individualists guiding the ship of state, again.

New, Improved Stealthisms
Source: PIG Factiod

America: The nation we were.
Americans: The individuals who created, inhabited and/or nurtured it.
Amerika: The Socialist Nanny State America became.
Amerikans: The Americans condemned to live in it.
Amexica: The Illegal Immigrant Infested nation we are becoming.
Amexicans: The non-Colonista, Spanish-surnamed horde responsible for the transformation and those still in the old country who want to join them..

If you live here and aren't from Central or South America, you're an Amerikan. If you live here, or plan to join the stampede and hail from Central or South America, you're an Amexican. If you're from Spain, you're Spanish, shit for brains.

Deflecting Silver Bullets
Source: PIG Scribbler Mini Rant

The silver bullet question wielded by the Creationists against Evolutionists is, invariably: Are your ancestors apes? Big fun, but, as usual, I have an answer.

Creationists: Are your ancestors apes?

Me: Ancestors hell! My whole damn family is populated by uncivilized in the extreme hairy primates.

FEBRUARY 2004

WMD's Found?
Source: Stealth Wisdom Rant

Uncle Sam can't find them. The Black Helicopter Club can't find them. Tony Blair can't find them. The Surrender Monkey's can't find them. The donkey clan claims they don't even exist. Where, they all wonder, are the WMD's? As usual, your favorite On-Line publication boldly goes where others fear to tread.

PIG found the WMD's without working up a sweat and we didn't find them in Iraq, Syria, or stuffed in a cave with Osama. We found them lurking right here in the USA. Who else would you trust to ferret out the missing WMD's?

PIG nominates the following alleged humans as Wingnuts with Mind-numbing Delusions (Wingnuts, Morons and Dipsticks): Michael Moore, Al Franken, Mike Farrell...

Amerikan Tax Policy in Three Easy Lessons
Source: Stealth Wisdom Commentary

It's oval office campaign season, and the usual suspects on the left are trotting out the class warfare canard. Enough is enough on this soak the evil rich bovine excrement! I'm fed up with all the hyperventilating, hyperbole and hot air over the Lapdog's tax policy. Nobody...not the talking heads, not the political hacks, not even the scribblers at my favorite - libertarian - fishwrap, has the nads to stop hiding behind euphemisms like 'class warfare' and 'tax cuts for the rich'. Since nobody else has the nads to take on this task, I'll do it myself, because our tax policy is as simple as 1-2-3.

One:
A tax cut, by definition, goes to those individuals who paid taxes in the first place. According to IRS data from 2000, the top 10%, those with an Adjusted Gross Income at or above $92,144, pay 67.33% of all income tax collected. Conversely, the bottom 50%, those with Adjusted Gross Income less than $27,682, pay 3.91% of all taxes collected. 'Rich' Amerikans get the biggest tax cut, because they paid the most; it's as simple as that.

Two:
Whenever the IRS returns more money to you than they withheld, the excess is not a tax cut; it's WELFARE laundered through the IRS. Anyone who accepts this Nanny Government largess is a parasite feeding on someone else's hard work.

Three:
Stealing money from the one who earned it and giving it to someone who didn't isn't 'class warfare'; it's an old fashioned mugging, with Uncle Sam doing the dirty work.

Does the Lapdog's tax policy give 'tax cut for the rich'? You better believe it, class warfare Sparky, because the money in question belongs to the taxpayers who earned it, not Uncle Sam or his parasitic horde.

Why Immigration Matters
Source: Stealth Wisdom Rant

The problem we'll call immigration - Colonistas, if you will - stems from the thrilling fact that we're a welfare state now, so all these huddle masses yearning to breath free are doing this stateside yearning on 'our' goddamn dime. Without this welfare state lure, we'd get the hard working individuals who come here to contribute...come here to assimilate. Those who don't want to support themselves and their families...Those who want to be coddled in their own language would be forced to get with the damn program, die, or go the hell back home. This, in essence, is the way immigration was until FDR laid out the federal welcome mat, littered it with Nanny State dead presidents then urged parasites to "Come and get it".

As long as Uncle Sam perpetuates the welfare state, Amerikan citizens are forced to play tough with aspiring immigrants. We're forced to look them over, select the ones who fit in and send the rest packing. Because we can't nuke the welfare state into oblivion, we're forced to pre-judge each immigrant, deciding - before we let them in - if he, she or it, will pull their own weight. We need to welcome the achievers and send the parasites packing. If they won't go home peacefully, then we'll follow my lovely bride's mantra and 'Just shoot the bastards'.

Shut Up And Teach!
Source: Stealth Wisdom Rant

If you live in our near Hell-A and endure boom box fare, you've hear them...those ubiquitous ads, for every non-Educrap subject under the sun sponsored by the California Teachers Organization. Few days pass without some CTA prattle forcing me to start shouting at the boom box. Lately, this Educrap union is doing triple duty: shilling for the Educrap enrichment initiative, prop 55; underwriting - with millions of taxpayer dollars - the 55% solution, prop 56; whining for sympathy on behalf of striking grocery store clerks.

Based on this relentless CTA prattle, it's obvious that the CTA has too damn much time on its hands. It's equally clear that they have too damn much money in their union hack pockets. I am so unamused, it can't be quantified. Why can't they just shut up and teach for a change?

Expanding My Parasite Definition
Source: Stealth Wisdom Mini Rant

Nanny government loving parasites come in assorted flavors and are not confined to individuals mired in poverty. Since this point is vital, and destined to be featured prominently in future PIG News stories, this pagan scribbler now includes certain other handout hounds whenever he cites parasites in his prose. We'll call this new feature Parasite Watch and it will, usually, vilify what's commonly called 'corporate welfare'.

Non-traditional (Not poverty stricken) parasites:

Any individual or firm that gets a government subsidy.

Companies that get guaranteed loans, subsidies, or benefit from protective tariffs and price supports.

Farmers who get paid for crops they don't grow, don't sell.

Anyone who 'taxes' individuals or companies by championing government coercion to force sovereign individuals to adopt the proper fiscal or moral behavior.

Companies that enjoy a government enforced monopoly.

Anyone cashing in on 'faith-based initiatives'.

Professional Sports Team owners who mug the taxpayer to build, support and lose money on new facilities.

Read, heed and remember, the next time this pagan aims his poisoned pen at parasites.

MARCH 2004

Today's Vast Right-Wingnut Matra
Source: Stealth Wisdom Shallow Thought [3/31]

"I believe in free speech, BUT..."
Translation: I believe in free speech - YOURS - as long as you say things I want to hear.

Self-Appointed Saviors
Source: Stealth Wisdom Mini Tirade   [3/20]

The Liberal elite is convinced that they cornered the market on intellect.  They 'know' that they're smarter than you are.  You're too stupid to run your own life, unassisted; that's why they, magnanimously, offer to save you from your own stupid decisions.  

The conservative elite believes that they 'own' the moral high ground.  They 'know' that they're more righteous than you are.  You're too immoral to run your own life, unassisted; that's why these self-anointed paragons of virtue, insist on saving you from your own sinful impulses.

Both are convinced that you can't be trusted to 'do the smart thing'... 'do the moral thing' without the proper incentive, so they compel your cooperation through brute force.  If you fail to obey their edicts, their government lackeys will send men with guns to show you the error of your ways.

A Requiem For Big Food
Source: Stealth Wisdom Rant [03/13]

Anyone care for a $25 Big Mac or a $50, 6-inch tofu pizza?  How does a $75, 3-piece KFC meal sound?  That's where your fast food tab is headed, now that the obesity juggernaut is hitting it's stride.

It's no accident that the campaign to define obesity as Amerika's number one health crisis is reaching a deafening crescendo during a presidential election year.  It's a warning that phase 1 in the looming shyster assault on 'big food' is nearly complete.  Every damn day, at least one health Nazi - noisily and publically - bemoans the public policy implications inherent in Amerika's expanding waistline.  This relentless health Nazi blithering paves the way for phase II by demonizing 'big food' in the parasite horde's puny brains. 

As soon as obesity achieves permanent public policy issue status, the real fun begins when the shyster scum unleashes a frontal assault on big food.  Phase II's class action litigation tidal wave will engulf big food in record time, setting off a massive wealth transfer from deep big food pockets into insatiably greedy shyster bank accounts.  Big food is done, so before you stick your fork in it, dump your McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Burger King, KFC, Sarah Lee and Crispy Creme stock, right damn now, before it's too late.

Now that shysters and their health Nazi co-conspirators have big food heading for oblivion, rational adults are forced to contemplate a very disturbing question.  After they finish gorging themselves on those whopping, big food-destroying legal fees, who will the shyster horde plunder next?  Any volunteers?

APRIL 2004

Today's Stealthy Mini Tantrums
Source: Stealth News Shallow Thoughts  [4/28]

Several issues reached critical mass, today, in my alleged brain.  In no particular order, they include:

Peanuts Anyone?
Whenever I hear about Amerika's two dominant political clans squaring off, I envision that familiar scene from the 'Peanuts' Comic strip.  Looking clueless, moderately suspicious but, ultimately, hopeful, the elephant clan fills Charlie Brown's shoes.  A short distance away, the donkey clan enacts Lucy's role as it kneels, propping up the latest political football.  After a brief exchange of bipartisan prose, the elephant clan runs forward, ready to kick the football, but, as always - at the last minute - the donkey clan snatches it away, tricking a bewildered elephant clan into falling on its well-padded, pachyderm caboose.

Check Your Intellect at The Toll Booth Door:
Any old ka-boomist in good standing knows that salvation is not achieved through intellect.  You can't think, understand, or intellectualize your way to salvation.  The path to salvation lies elsewhere.  First, you must check your brain at the toll booth's door, then, once inside, you must simply feel your way to salvation.  The road to heaven is not paved with linear minds connecting the right synaptic pattern.  The road to heaven is paved with raw, unthinking, irrational emotion.  That's why the 'fall from divine perfection' centers on Adam and Eve attaining a rational, ethical, intellectual perspective on their existence.

Size Eleven Pride?
Why are the usual suspects so delusional about "pride"? The properly-hyphenated bandy the term about as if they invented it and I'm beginning to wonder why.  There's Gay Pride, Black Pride, Asian Pride.  Everywhere you turn some chronically-oppressed clown is spewing drivel about pride and I don't get it.  If, as the evidence seems to suggest, sexual orientation is assigned at birth, that makes it as immutable as race or gender.  How can an immutable trait engender pride?

Being proud of your skin pigmentation, your gender, or your sexual orientation makes as much sense as being proud of your shoe size or eye color.  The pertinent question, in each case is: What the hell did you have to do with your assigned at birth, immutable traits?  Nothing, so shut up about it already.  If you must be 'proud', be proud of your accomplishments, elements of your life over which you exercise meaningful control.

An Inspiring Pay-Per-View
Source: Stealth Wisdom Shallow Thought [4/21]

Given the increasing acrimony between 'W' and the donkey clan, this pagan suggests that we give the public what they really want.  Rather than political debates, a designated donkey clan hack - I personally prefer Robert Byrd, but that cretin Carville would do just as well - would  meet 'W' in a pay-per-view, junkyard dog, Texas cage match  on the National Mall.  We'd call this epic struggle "The Brawl on The Mall".  All proceeds - and they'd be huge - would be used to pay off the national debt.

To those of you - and we both know who you are - who insist on calling me names, I have one thing to say.  Jealousy is so childish.  Neener, neener, neener!

Afterthoughts:
Since scribbling the initial notion, I hatched a beyond bold new concept that Emerilizes this pay-per-view big damn time.  Instead of 'W' and a designated donkey clan hack, I now favor an all female bout that pits the PIG publisher's favorite donkey clan hackette, Hillary, against the vast right-wingnut conspiracy's blonde 'goddess' Ann Coulter. Now that's a BRAWL ON THE MALL!

A Sporting Proposition
Source: Stealth Wisdom Shallow Thought [4/14]

Various states perpetrated deer hunting, duck hunting, moose hunting, pheasant hunting, quail hunting and assorted other officially sanctioned 'hunt the brute down and kill it' seasons.  Setting aside whatever I might think about this government authorized carnage, I see a chance to extend this notion and improve our nation at the same time.  The time has come for an official, no limit, kill as many as you can find, trial lawyer hunting season.  Bagging a shyster who plundered cigarette companies in the class action tobacco litigation would earn the lucky hunter a sizeable bounty.  Ditto, any sportsman who exterminates a shyster plotting the fast food class action shyster drama.

Although I don't see myself stalking Bambi, et al, I'm there in a heartbeat if we can launch this trial lawyer hunting season.  I'm trying to see a downside, but I'm not finding it.

Celebrating Amerikan Stupidity
Source: Stealth Wisdom Shallow Thoughts [4/1]

It's April Fools Day, the day when the government cess-schooled idiots with self esteem chickens come home to  roost.  Clueless cess-school graduates, and other, self-made idiots either can't read the calendar or they're so gullible that they believe everything they read see or hear during this annual whopper festival.  Today was no exception.

The Whopper Festival started, for me, when I tuned into the decency demon's show and found it missing in action.  Instead of Stern, Infinity Radio Network served up a bland 'family friendly' show whose mantra proclaimed "fun without the filth".  Somehow, Stern even got an Infinity official to read a news release that stated Stern had been removed from the airwaves, permanently, by Infinity officials.  Bold new concept.

Although the bit ran for well over an hour, I didn't believe it for a second.  If Stern got fired in the dead of night, it would be the top story on every boom box news broadcast, but they were curiously silent about it.  If Stern got fired, why was the Hell-A Infinity station still running commercials begging Stern fans to show their support by writing to their assigned legicrat?  The obvious Stern-perpetrated April Fool's stunt didn't pass this pagan's smell test, but it fooled the countless angry callers vowed they'd never dial up Infinity's blight on the boom box dial, ever again.  Nice try, Howard...Better luck next year, assuming you're still on the air.

The Whopper Festival continued during my drive home when I tuned into vast right-wingnut Kool-Aid drinker Sean Hannity and heard him spewing drivel about his newly discovered adoration for donkey clan presidential candidate, John Kerry.  Hannity pushed all those right-wingnut buttons, spreading fertilizer about his bold new wealth-sharing schemes and nanny government on steroids notions.  

Hannity's government cess-schooled listeners fell for it... hook line and sinker, filling the airwaves with angry invective.  Hannity reported that several lefty news outlets called to verify his dramatic lurch into political leftism.  Obviously, affirmative action hiring has saddled Amerika's news Nazis with countless government cess-schooled, self-affirming idiots.  From the onset, this pagan smelled the rancid April Fools Day rat, a keen pagan assessment that was proven correct, during Hannity's third hour.

April Fools Day is an unavoidable exercise in gullibility, but it need not trap you, if you remember this pagan axiom: On April Fools Day, don't take anything you read, see or hear at face value.  A well-reasoned skepticism is the rational adult's best friend during this annual Whopper Festival.

MAY 2004

Bitch-Slapping The Maggot
Source: Stealth Wisdom Rant [5/26]

Whoppers are much more than the bloated maggot's (Michael Moore) favorite snack. Whoppers are the blithering blimp's stock in trade and everyone knows it. The vast right-wingnut conspiracy seems obsessed with exposing the countless whoppers and outright fiction that ooze from the maggot's tome - 'Stupid White Men' - and his so-called documentaries. It's a waste of time, since neither Moore or his way lefty fans give a rip about the facts or reality.

All this VRWC carping accomplishes is giving this maggot free publicity. Calling Michael Moore a liar makes as much sense as saying water is "wet".

Tyranny Of The Minority?
Source: Stealth Wisdom Commentary [5/21]

Few days pass without someone infringing on individual liberty, for the sake of Amerika's children. Just for laughs, this pagan scribbler did some fun-filled research on Amerika's 'children.' The results no shit amazed me. According to the 2000 census, Amerika has 105,480,101 households. Within that total only 36% - a shade over one-third - have 'children' under 18 years old. Bold new concept.

This data means that the same morality-obsessed goose-stepping cretins who decry the attempts of a minority - homosexuals, atheists, etc - to impose their beliefs on the majority are doing the same damn thing with this protecting the children bovine excrement. The noisy elements within this children on board 36% give themselves the right to dictate what the remaining 64% can watch, read, hear, or say. I am profoundly unamused.

Tyranny - wether imposed by a minority or a majority - reeks, big damn time. The only way to make things right...the only way to impose the justice our Constitution envisioned involves restoring our inalienable individual liberty birthright. The government has no damn business dictating what any sovereign individual can read, write, hear or say. The sooner everyone accepts this, the better for everybody concerned.

W Assaults Continue
Source: Stealth Wisdom News Wire [5/20]

The assaults on W continue, showing no letup anytime soon. Mud slinging author, Kitty Kelly, is poised to unleash a down and dirty smear that's destined to get major support from Amerika's liberal media. Her only competition will come from bloated, alleged film-maker, Michael Moore's new flick, a hit piece that has W conspiring with Osama.

Since Kelly's tome is still under wraps, we'll delve into Moore's newest big screen epic. His delusional flick cites W as the one who let Osama's family leave Amerika, three days after 911, but given Moore's track record, it's safe to predict that there is a lot more bovine excrement served up in steaming piles. It's a damn shame that bean spiller Richard Clark testified - under oath - before the 9/11 Commission that he, not W, authorized the Bin Laden family's departure. I don't expect Moore to mention that tidbit, nor should you. This lard butt never gave a rip about facts and he's not about to start now.

The fun fact here is that the libs keep attacking W for the wrong reasons. I can cite countless reasons, reasons way lefties like More and Kelly won't mention:

Steel Tariffs

The Medicrap Debacle

W's whopping budget deficits

W's inept, politically-motivated interference in post-war Iraq

W's bloated educrap bill

W's welfare for farmers antics

W's sick obsession with Vicente Fox

W's catastrophic immigration brain-fart

The list is long and it keeps growing. With all this hanging over W why must inept mud-slingers create lies? Maybe it's because the only things Kelly, Moore, et al hate more than W is inalienable individual liberty.

Random Musings About The War On Terror
Source: Stealth Wisdom Commentary [5/13]

We are - we have been for a very long time - the ultimate evil in Mecca Maniac zealot eyes. That's why they call us "The Great Satan". This war started when some Mecca Maniac zealots attacked "The Great Satan" by crashing airliners into the WTC and Pentagon. They'll do it again, and again, if we don't stop them.

The war on terror - a war the terrorists started - isn't about oil...It isn't about liberating Iraq from Saddam...It isn't about bringing peace to the Middle East. This war pits two utterly incompatible philosophies against each other. Despite our headlong rush toward nanny state tyranny, Amerika still represents inalienable individual liberty when viewed by the rest of the world. The Mecca Maniacs recognize that inalienable individual liberty is Mecca Mania's mortal enemy. Both cannot coexist side-by-side without destroying each other. It might help to think of our philosophy as 'liberty' and theirs as 'anti-liberty'. Like particles of matter and anti-matter, liberty and anti-liberty destroy each other in a thunderous explosion when they come together.

The terrorists call us "The Great Satan" because the evil we spread - inalienable individual liberty - sweeps liberty-blights like Mecca Mania aside, wherever liberty is allowed to take root. It's Amerika's curious obsession with individual liberty that makes us so dangerous to Mecca Mania in general and Osama's extremist Mecca Maniacs in particular. Under Amerikan style liberty, women can't be blamed for a male's uncontrolled sexual impulses. Under Amerikan style liberty, a husband, father, uncle, nephew or cousin can't restore family honor by murdering his 'dishonorable' female relative. Under Amerikan style liberty, men can't impose genital mutilation on young girls. Under Amerikan style liberty, all individuals are judged by the same set of laws: we don't impose a harsh standard on females and a much more lenient one on men. Under Amerikan style liberty, a cleric can't issue a death warrant on a given individual in the name of some deity. Under Amerikan style liberty, women enjoy all the rights and privileges afforded to men. Under Amerikan style liberty, an individual is free to worship the deity of his own choosing, even when the individual chooses to not to worship any deity at all. These and countless other 'sins' comprise the 'evil' that our enemies in this war on terror are compelled to eradicate from the face of the earth.

What makes the war on terror particularly dangerous for Amerika are the political hacks and their 'can't we all just get along' fellow travelers who insist that we need to 'understand' our way to a peaceful, non-violent solution. If only - they insist - we could organize a group hug with our terrorist enemy everything would be just peachy. Amerika's leftist horde insists that we need to give up our childish obsession with inalienable individual liberty and embrace a 1400-year old religious tyranny that made Pakistan, Afghanistan, Sudan and Iran such nifty places to avoid. Amerika's leftist horde just doesn't get it and they, probably, never will. If September 11 didn't shock some sense into them, nothing will.

It's time for Amerika's rational adults to face the unpleasant facts about our enemy in this war on terror. Osama and his terrorist home boys understand that this is a war for survival. Osama understands that this 'war' is a fight to the death. There can be no compromise. There can't be a cease fire. There can't be a peace treaty. The war will - must - continue until one side or the other is completely exterminated.

Osama and his crew will continue to attack us until we make that impossible. It's highly unlikely - not to mention much too costly, in Amerikan lives - that we can catch them and lock them up, forever. Therefore, the only foolproof way to stop them is to give them a free room temperature transition by any means at our disposal. They made this a fight to the death, so we'll grant their wish and give them the death - theirs, of course - that they crave. The sooner Amerika accepts these bitter facts, the closer we get to putting an end to the terrorist threat, permanently.

Selective "Outrage"
Source: Stealth Wisdom Tantrum [5/13]

Amerika's political hacks just don't get it. They're so detached from reality that they can't see the distinction between a naked Iraqi prisoner being led around in a dog collar and leash by a smirking cunt and an Amerikan civilian having his head sawed the hell off by 5 laughing, chanting terrorists. We no shit deserve better than the crap these hacks keep spewing: "What happened to Nicolas Berg is a damn shame, but we asked for it when we put that poor Iraqi in that dog collar." If they can't see the damn difference, they should all be ripped from office, right god damn now!

Before you buy into this moral equivalency crap, demand that these reality-challenged, vote pandering hacks face the facts. If, as these hacks claim, our treatment of Iraqi prisoners and Berg's murder are virtually identical, demand that they answer this question: "Where are the photos, recordings and video tapes of 5 American soldiers sawing the head off an innocent Iraqi civilian while the butchers chant "Jesus Is Lord...Jesus Is Lord...Jesus Is Lord" to accompany the murder victim's screams?"

Maybe these vote pandering, camera loving hacks could whip up more outrage, if we could arrange for Nicolas Berg's butchers to perform the same bloody feat on Teddy Kennedy, Bobby Bird or Diane Feinstein while the Senate is in session. Perhaps then they'll understand the difference between dog collar/leash-induced humiliation and the naked barbarity that we saw when Nicolas Berg had his head sawed off. Perhaps...But don't bet on it.

Random Thoughts
Source: Stealth Wisdom Mini Tantrums [05/05]

The coming tyranny

Ask any sovereign individual and he'll assure you that Amerika is stumbling, inexorably, toward tyranny. What nobody can tell you is the exact nature of the tyranny, because, until the time arrives, we won't know wether our new masters will call themselves commissars or clerics. Since both tyrannical flavors deem inalienable individual liberty public enemy number 1, Amerika's enslaved individuals won't give a flaming damn what they call themselves.

Indecent? It all depends

According to the Decency Gestapo, just hearing certain words is enough to send the most well-behaved child careening off the straight and narrow into non-stop debauchery and sexual indulgence. But, that only applies when the 'wrong' person emits these destructive soundwaves: Howard Stern, is the primary villain in this morality play. When these same words are uttered by Amerika's premier sob sister - Oprah - the same life destroying sound waves are rendered harmless, according to these same goose-stepping morality Nazi asshats. If you believe that crap, there's a bridge I'd love to sell you.

JUNE 2004

Pagan Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts   [06/25]

It's pagan musing time again in this scribbler's bunker.  This time out, we have two unrelated items that strayed into my consciousness.

Item 1: Questions
Dangerous questions fall into two broad categories.  There are questions you probably shouldn't ask.  And, there are questions you probably shouldn't answer.  Some examples should clarify things...as if you care.

While employed at a small company run by the world's worst business dolt, you meet an employee whose skills vastly exceed the firm's pathetic, balance sheet performance.  No matter how tempted you are, you probably shouldn't ask this 'too good for this place' co-worker: "What went so wrong in your life that you ended up here?"

You're getting ready to go out and your wife, girlfriend, or significant - female - other comes in wearing the outfit she selected.  That's when she asks the question you shouldn't answer: "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Item 2: Redefining Decency
The instant Janet Jackson flashed her ebony-colored hooter at millions of Super Bowl viewers, Amerika's smugly self-righteous asshats launched their decency crusade.  Since I never got up close and personal with Janet's sweater puppies, I can't pass judgement on them.  Are her coco-colored cans ready for prime time?  I don't know, nor am I highly motivated to find out.  I do know that certain ubiquitous boob tube images are much more disturbing than Janet's over-hyped tit.

My brother insists that any job worth doing is worth doing right, a trite assertion that serves a purpose in this discussion.  Setting aside the Decency Crusade's worthiness, this pagan can identify one gaping tyke-terrifying decency - job done wrong - loophole that demands immediate attention.  Which, I challenge you, is more likely to put your egregiously unsupervised tyke into therapy for...decades?  A 30 second glimpse of Janet's jug, or a screen-filling closeup of Michael Moore's bloated mug?  Unworthy as this Decency Crusade is, it must banish Maggot closeups to meet my brother's "done right" criteria.


Medved Spouts Off, Again
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts    [06/23]

Admittedly I expect Kool-Aid Club stalwart, Michael Medved to spout drivel, but there are times when I am compelled to shine the pagan scribbler spotlight on his asinine blithering.  Today, two of Medved's Kool-Aid Club quotes earned a pagan scribbler response.

Medved Quote #1

"Michael Moore and Barbara Streisand are part of the over-privileged people in America"
[Over privileged?  By what standard?  What is the limit on privilege?  When does it cross the line?  Who sets this limit, you?]

Medved Quote #2

"Today's Democratic Party isn't the same as the party led by FDR."
[No argument, but, by the same token, the Republican Party isn't the same small government party led by Barry Goldwater.]

Assorted Pagan Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts   [06/14]

Several notions strayed into my alleged brain today.  In no particular order, they include:

Evil
In supernaturalist eyes - especially cross cult - evil is not a property inherent in certain individuals.  Evil is a universal force that exists in some disembodied form. 

Avoiding A Hot Election Cycle Potato
The U.S. Supreme Court punted a very thorny issue - the Pledge poop caper - on a technicality.  Rather than rule – quite likely sustaining the Ninth Circuit ruling - they said the dude bringing the suit didn't have legal standing to make the claim.

Talking Points
Elder is getting defensive about W again.  He's citing Ron Reagan's (the son) comment about hacks who wear their religion on their sleeve and insisting it's a swipe at W.  Elder is in serious danger of drowning if he keeps treading water in all that Kool-Aid.  Since Ron didn't name names, why is Elder so defensive about this  comment?  It sounds to me like it's Elder who thinks W wears his religiosity on his sleeve for political purposes.

Ron said "politicians who wear their religion on their sleeve...seeking political advantage.", so why, Mr. Sage did you immediately think it was a swipe at W?  It sounds to this pagan like you're the one who believes that W "wears his religion on his sleeve...seeking political advantage".  Your knee-jerk reaction says a lot more about your attitude/beliefs about W than Ron Reagan's.

Unlike you, Sage, this pagan immediately conjured up several likely 'religion on their sleeves for political advantage' suspects: Roy Moore, Rick Santorum, John Ashcroft, legicrat hacks in Virginia, Massachusetts, Utah.


Reagan Sendoff Memories
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts   [6/12]

Several sights, sounds and incidents from Ronald Reagan's sendoff made a lasting impression.  In no particular order, they include:

Nancy breaking down when she says her final goodbye at the gravesite.

A 50ish (perhaps older) man in his full dress uniform saluting the Gipper in the capital rotunda late Wednesday night.

Scott Baio - Chachi! - at the ceremony Friday afternoon.  What's up with that?

Why are the foreign dignitaries so much more eloquent than our own political hacks?  Thatcher and Brian Mulroney rocked!

Who were those guys wearing the Salvation Army band hats?

Why are the Navy's uniforms so butt ugly?  The enlisted sailors got the royal shaft, when they were forced to wear those god-awful white...rigs.

Talking Points
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts    [06/09/2004]

President Reagan's death and the spin-doctoring that followed sent several Gipper-related notions through my alleged brain.

Item: The Reagan-Related Spin on Kerry
Rantell, Medved, et al are spinning the Reagan's demise for political purposes by declaring Kerry the un-Reagan.  The blithering goes something like this:

First, they elicit some kind words about Reagan from a VRWC cohort who isn't thrilled spitless with W.

Next, they counter with: "If you like Reagan, how can you possibly consider voting for Kerry?  Kerry is diametrically opposed to everything Reagan stood for..."  Blah, blah, blah.

They seal the deal by declaring a vote for Kerry is an insult to the Gipper's memory, hoping that will return the chastised W doubter back into the vast right-wingnut conspiracy fold.
The implication - left unstated, most of the time - is that W is the second coming of Reagan.  To prove this point, they cite the Gipper's cold warrior, credentials, reminding, whomever that Ron single-handedly defeated those dastardly commies. 

Next, they cite Reagan's tax cut and the eventual economic growth it spawned.  Missing from this equation is what this pagan scribbler considers Reagan's most significant political tenet:  the inescapable fact that government is too damn big; the inescapable fact that government growth devours individual liberty.  Two  out of three isn't good enough, this time.  When it came to the inherent dangers embodied in big government, President Reagan 'got it'.  The same can't be said for our 21st century elephant clan hacks, including - especially - our oval office dwelling dolt. 

Kerry may indeed be the anti-Reagan - the un-Reagan - but that doesn't make W Reagan's philosophical successor.  They are not cut from the same cloth in that one vital area: unchecked government growth.

Item: The Left's Spin on Reagan
The leftist media and the talking heads they coddle all seem to spout the same drivel about President Reagan.  Setting aside the handful of terminally hostile hit pieces, the leftist spin goes something like this: 

"Ronald Reagan was a nice guy who had a way with words.  Immensely likeable, he was such a talented wordsmith that he could sell refrigerators to Eskimos.  Although entirely superficial, his appeal remains strong, even after his death."

Missing here is the fun fact that it wasn't the messenger, but his message that resonated with those who still honor him with their greatest respect.

Item:  The Debate over a Meaningful Reagan commemoration
President Reagan's elephant clan admirers are throwing out ideas about re-naming the Pentagon after President Reagan.  Others want to put his mug shot on our currency.  A few opine that he belongs on Mount Rushmore.  All three ideas are frivolous and fail to honor President Reagan's most meaningful - heartfelt - political tenet. 

Given President Reagan's steadfast belief in reducing the size, scope and reach of the federal government, these hacks should honor his convictions by taking a meat axe to the bloated nanny state.  The educrap department would be a nifty place to start, followed by the federal alphabet soup: EEOC, FCC, FDA, DEA...the list is long and growing daily.  The hacks who claim to revere President Reagan should give him what he always wanted: a reduction in the size of our government.  It's the one tribute that he'd support wholeheartedly.

Stray Pagan Notions
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts   [06/02]


Item 1:
Medved was beating the dead losertarian horse again today.  If, as he claims, these liberty espousing clowns are such a non-entity...If they are so insignificant, why does he keep pounding on them?

Item 2:
Two words that should raise an instant BULLSHIT ALERT red flag: "studies show".

Item 3:
Saying that The Maggot lies is like saying shit stinks.  Some things are so self evident they don't need to be stated.


John Asshat Vs State Sovereignty
Source: Pagan Scribbler Tantrum     [6/02]

The oft maligned Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals got one right last week, when in a 2-to1 decision, they slapped down Attorney General John Asshat's attempt to impose his supernaturalist views on sovereign Oregon dwelling individuals.  Citing federal drug laws - the Controlled Substances Act - Asshat tried to nullify Oregon's Death With Dignity Act, but the Ninth Circuit overruled him in its May 26, 2004 decision.  Not that it's any of Asshat's business, but Oregon citizens gave their seal of approval to physician-assisted suicide not once but twice - originally enacted in 1994, it was reaffirmed in a subsequent 1997 vote.  Which part of "butt out, asshole" doesn't he understand?

This isn't the first time John Asshat tried to repeal state sovereignty.  His relentless assaults on Mexifornia's citizen-mandated Medical Marijuana Law are well documented.  Few weeks pass without another Asshat foray against a Mexifornia citizen who is following the state's Medical Marijuana Law.  No wonder W's ratings are so dismal in this lefty-infested, left coast pesthole.

Is John Asshat really that stupid?  Can the highest legal official in this nation be this ignorant when it comes to an individual state's Constitutionally-mandated sovereignty?  No way in cross cult hell.  He knows damn well what the Constitution says, what the Constitution mandates, and he no shit doesn't give a damn.  You see, like too many cross cult zealots, Asshat places his supernaturalism above our Constitution. 

John Asshat is a menace to our inalienable individual liberty and he's gotta go.  The only way to do that involves dumping W in November.  This is not a drill.

JULY 2004

FMA Lands With A Thud
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thought   [07/14]

The Elephant Clan's Federal Marriage Amendment laid a rotten egg on the U.S. Senate floor, today, when the cloture motion garnered an anemic 48 votes, including three donkey clan votes.  Despite a massive holy roller lobbying campaign - Pat Robertson, Family Values Fuhrer Bozell, TBN, et all - the FMA's promoters lost 6 elephant clan votes on a politically-tame cloture vote. In a straightforward up or down vote, the FMA itself would fare much, much worse with pachyderm Senators, and these theocratic hacks know it.  Score one for liberty, even if it's only a reprieve.

Afterthought
It's surreal - to the max - when Kennedy, Boxer, Feinstein and the rest are liberty's defenders.  I was distressed - big damn time - to find myself agreeing with muc
h of what they said. I feel a major migraine coming on...but I'll get over it.

AUGUST 2004

Clintonesque Parcing of Elephant Clan Terms
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/27]

[This commentary was liberated from the pagan scribbler archives. It's especially appropriate while the Elephant Clan is perpetrating its National Convention. Assuming that the News Nazis tear themselves away from 24/7 protester coverage, the convention viewer will need this timely heads-up on a certain core, Elephant Clan notion.]

What do conservatives - invariably, it's the Elephant Clan hacks who brandish this dubious political label - mean when they sacrifice at the 'smaller government' shrine? The key here is the linchpin term 'smaller'. We all understand this word's unambiguous meaning, but, just for fun, I'll defer to the American Heritage Dictionary for 'the final answer': The third definition under 'small' reads "limited in degree or scope". Therefore, by definition, a smaller government is one that is 'limited in degree or scope' when compared to its former size. Smaller = limited in degree or scope...got it.

So far, so good, but that brings up another critical factor: how do these smaller government espousing Elephant Clan hacks measure government's degree or scope? The impression Elephant Clan hacks perpetrate is the one most palatable to their vast right-wingnut supporters: a smaller government is one that employs fewer individuals, perpetrates fewer nanny government intrusions into a sovereign individual's life - fewer entitlements, programs and wealth-transfer schemes - than it did during the previous budget cycle. In other words smaller means just that: less money - in real dollars - spent than last year; fewer departments; fewer employees; fewer programs. Bold new concept, but that's not what Elephant Clan spin doctors like Congressman David Dryer mean when they espouse smaller government.

When you hear Dryer, Elder, Hannity, Medved and the rest of the Elephant Clan's Kool-Aid Club speak about smaller government, don't accept their blithering at face value, because they don't intend to eliminate a single program, entitlement, intrusion or boondoggle. Their scheme involves pumping up the U.S. economy - by means they can't explain, because they really don't have a clue - to make the percentage government consumes from the nation's Gross National Product decrease. That's right, the Elephant Clan's smaller government notion is just another political hack numbers game. Government will continue to grow in real life - more intrusive, more powerful, more employees, more programs, entitlements, and boondoggles - but it will, over time, represent a decreasing percentage of the Amerika's GNP. Now, we've got the 'rest of the story'. In pachyderm alleged reality, a smaller government is one that continues its relentless growth, by any objective measure, but consumes a smaller - steadily decreasing - percentage of the GNP. A very bold new concept, but will it work?

Will this vision for a so-called 'smaller government' succeed, in the long term? The answer is - and always will be - a resounding "no way in hell, collectivist Sparky". In order to thrive, capitalism - the legendary free market - requires a political environment steeped in inalienable individual liberty. This Elephant Clan 'have your cake and eat it too' economic scheme promotes relentless, increasingly-Draconian intrusions into business and an ever-accelerating plundering of each individual's property - wealth if you prefer. Capitalism, the force that powers Amerika's economic engine, will be obliterated by the increasing weight of an egregiously swollen nanny state. This Elephant Clan vision might be a Utopia in their eyes, but it sounds like abject economic slavery to this sovereign individual.

Never take a political hack or a political clan's marketing dweebs at face value. The lessons learned during Bubba's tenure at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue must not be ignored. Always demand a full, complete and unambiguous definition for each critical term, or you'll wake up one ignoble day in an Elephant Clan-perpetrated economic gulag.

Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/26]

Judicial Activism
When a judge - at any level - makes a ruling you don't like.

Liberty
Inalienable liberty is the natural (inherent) condition of each individual, at birth. Born into inalienable individual liberty, the sovereign individual is, immediately, enslaved - to a greater or lesser degree - by the prevailing Nanny State. Inalienable liberty is each individual's birthright. The Nanny State didn't give them to you, but they're determined to take them away...for the good of society as a whole...of course.

Kerry's Self-Inflicted Political Wounds
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/23]

Donkey Clan apologists are circling the gunboats to defend their Oval Office candidate from the dastardly attacks by the Swift Boat Veterans on John Kerry's heroic war record. "How dare they challenge his service to his country?", the Donkey horde bellows. "How dare they try to politicize his heroic service to his country?" Okay, let's examine the facts, as we know them.

Fact: John Kerry, is the one who built his political career in general and his presidential candidacy in particular, on the four months he spent in Viet Nam, 30 years ago.

Fact: The only reason Kerry's military service is a campaign issue is because he's the one who made it the foundation of his presidential campaign.

Fact: Kerry rarely misses a chance to inject those hotly debated 4 months in Viet Nam into his campaign blithering.

Fact: Kerry seems curiously - suspiciously - reluctant to discuss the 19 years he spent in the U.S. Senate.

Fact: It doesn't really matter if Kerry manipulated key elements of his 4 months 'in country' to enhance a future political career.

Fact: It doesn't really matter whether Kerry's wounds were from enemy fire, or shrapnel from 'friendly fire'.

Fact: Kerry went to Viet Nam, he got some medals and he came home. That was three damn decades ago, dude. It's ancient history and largely irrelevant. What have you done for us lately?

Fact: Most Viet Nam veterans who hold a grudge against Kerry base it on his antics after he returned home and joined the peace punks in trashing our men and women in uniform.

Fact: In his early 70's testimony in front of a congressional committee Kerry accused American soldiers of horrendous, wide-spread war crimes. Kerry even admitted that he participated in some low grade war crimes. If the war crimes charges are hyperbole, he's a liar. If his confessions about his own activities are true, he's a war criminal.

It appears, to the casual observer - me, that Kerry went to Viet Nam 30 some years ago, with a master plan. He wanted to grab the necessary credentials to bolster the political hack career to which he aspired. Whatever Kerry's motives were at the time, he got enough medals to underpin his hack career then got out, before some V.C. rendered him room temperature. Perhaps it's this get the glory and scoot tactic that fuels Swift Boat Veteran outrage. Or, it could be Kerry's anti-war antics in the early 70's. Does it really matter? Probably not.

All this wrangling over what Kerry did or didn't do 3 decades ago is asinine, because it's essentially irrelevant. Voters must not be enticed into rehashing a political opportunist's brief stint in Viet Nam. His 30 year political hack career tells us a lot more about qualifications for the nation's highest office than a 4-month tour in Viet Nam. Put another way, we need to concentrate on who Kerry is, now, not who he was...then.

Kerry and his Donkey Clan homeboys need a reality check about this 'war hero' bovine excrement. The only reason anything Kerry did 30 years ago 'in country' remains relevant is because he's so obsessed with it that he won't shut the hell up about it. Building his presidential campaign on the 4 months he spent in Viet Nam, three damn decades ago, invites the kind of attention the Swifties are giving him. He stoked the fire fueling this war hero hell, so it's only fair that he burn in it.

Painful Political Choices
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/16]

Capitalism Magazine scribe, Michael J. Hurd, echoes Kool-Aid Club blithering when he offers up his 'hold your nose and vote for W' advice. Adopting the ubiquitous "as bad as W is, Kerry is worse" approach, Mr. Hurd's primary notions are as follows:

W will keep us safer from terrorist Mecca Maniac asshats than Kerry would.

W might spend like a drunken sailor, but he cut our taxes so he's not all bad. Kerry, on the other hand, vows to spend as much - or more - and he'll raise taxes.

W's 'socialism lite' is better than Kerry's socialism on steroids.

Even if Mr. Hurd is right, should we follow his advice and snatch up a short term 'relative' gain, while ignoring the long term losses? As long as the Amerikan electorate tolerates these 'lesser evil' elections, they are destined to lose their inalienable individual liberty to an all-powerful, cradle-to-grave Nanny State. A lesser of two evils slavery won't make rational adults ignore their Nanny State shackles. A safe from terrorism, lower taxes slavery is still slavery. When the electorate buys in on the less evil notion, it doesn't give either political clan any incentive to offer up more enlightened - liberty-advocating - candidates. Even these liberty-phobic hacks understand "if it ain't broke, don't fix it".

Amerika's rational adults need to teach the political clans a hard lesson, and we might as well begin right damn now. Some readers will protest that this isn't the right time to administer this badly needed lesson. Perhaps...But, given the state the world is in, when will it ever be the right time? Admittedly, dumping W might impose severe, short term hardships, but a ballot box rejection could shock the Elephant Clan into returning to their Goldwater-Reagan, smaller government roots. If you value your inalienable liberty, sit out this election cycle. It's the only rational choice.

Vast Right-Wingnut Media Conspiracy?
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/15]

[Pagan Scribbler Foreword: This rant was written a year ago. However, given the renewed Donkey Clan assaults on Fox News and vast right-wingnut dominated talk radio, it's doubly appropriate during this year's election cycle trench warefare.]

The Donkey Clan is going into full court press mode on this vast right-wingnut dominated media bovine excrement. The mantra bellows that the media isn't biased to the left, as alleged in Elephant Clan spew. In fact, these demented lefties insist, the vast right-wingnut conspiracy is so powerful, these poor, besieged libs are forced to take drastic measures. This strong lefty medicine involves such Draconian notions as reviving the unlamented 'Fairness Doctrine' and imposing it on all vast right-wingnut boom box talk shows [no doubt, Al Franken and the others on the new lefty radio network will be excused from this requirement]. Other lefty blowhards want to subject the vast right-wingnut boom box blitherers to the tender mercies of the Free Speech exteriminating 'Campaign Finance Reform Act' that W signed, thus silencing them during the critical final days before the election.

The three vast right-wingnut conspiracy-dominated areas cited by reality-challenged lefties include:

vast right-wingnut dominated boom box talk shows

vast right-wingnut brain-trust cabals like the Heritage Foundation

a certain 'so far to the right that they call Pat Robertson a commie' cable news network

This way lefty delusion puts the Heritage Foundation in the driver's seat, with the other two members of this evil cabal as supporting players. According to the lefty dolts, the Heritage Foundation holds a weekly conspiracy meeting, during which all the vast right-wingnuts get their conspiratorial marching orders. Rush, Sean, Laura, et al get the rank and file conspirators whipped into a frenzy, then Fox News seals the deal with their egregiously slanted conspiracy-friendly show schedule. That's right, the media isn't left-leaning; it's actually in the vast right-wingnut's pocket.

Setting aside the obvious fact that ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, The NY Times, Hell-A Times, Washington Post, Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, et al are egregiously, transparently, liberal...Ignoring all the lib foundations like the Ford Foundation, etc that fund Amerika's Neo Marxists...Ignoring the proof provided by Bernie Goldberg's book, a book confirmed by Andy Rooney, in various particulars, let's pretend that the libs are as out of the loop as they claim. Yes, I know, it's a huge assumption. [Fact: Bubba played the media like his own private publicity agency and still does. His minions dominated CNN, a cable cabal that features Bagalla and Carville, of all people.] What if, in some one in a million chance, these libs are right for the first time in their lives?

To a rational, objective adult, the three broadcast networks, CNN, et al, are still liberal in the extreme. But, there's another way to look at it. I think the political spectrum has been shifted...at least where the libs are concerned. Since they need to paint 'W' as a raving, so far right he's off the chart conservative, they had to shift the spectrum to the left, because 'W' is, in actual fact a mainstream liberal, like his daddy. That shift shoved the networks, CNN and their fellow travelers to the right, making them no shit moderates on the new scale. This also explains how staddle-the-center Fox News became part of the vast right-wingnut conspiracy. If we adopt this view of things, it makes Fox News sound like the John Birch Society, plus it leaves the libs without a single, meaningful voice in the mass media. Poor babies.

In this pagan-defined reality, the lefty horde moved so far to the left that they needed shift the political scale's center to prevent them from disappearing into the lefter than left lunatic fringe populated by anarchists, and other lovely, Maggot-class loonies. It also explains why they're losing so much political influence. They moved too far away from their political base, and, now, they're trying to lure these brain-dead bleeding hearts into following them over the cliff. I guess it gets lonely in political oblivion.

Hannity Spinning, Again
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/12]

When a caller cited the 1994 Elephant Clan revolution, asking why it's ancient history now, Hannity went into his usual Kool-Aid rant, blaming all the big spending on 9/11 and the war on terror. It's a nice try, but it doesn't fit certain inconvenient facts.

Tell me, Sean, how does the bloated Medicrap bill fit into the war on Osama? How does the grotesque educrap bill - written by Fat Teddy of all goddamn people - fit into the war? How does the budget busting farm welfare bill fit into the war on terror? How does the record pork barrel spending fit into the war on terror? How does the fact that, to date, W never vetoed a single pork-bloated bill jibe with the Gingrich vision for a smaller government and a freer Amerika?

Sean needs to sign up for a Twelve-Step Kool-Aid Addiction cure, stat.

Spinning 101
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/06]

The Kool-Aid Club - pachyderm chapter - is at it again. With the Dow in free fall, they're frantically spinning the latest - by any meaningful measure - pathetic employment statistics. The following statements are Kool-Aid Club cool, if - and only if - the Oval Office denizen is Elephant Clan:

5.5% Unemployment is 'low', hardly worth mentioning.

A $500 billion dollar deficit is 'low', especially when you measure it as a percentage of Amerika's GDP.

The illegal alien tidal wave is 'good' for our economy, because they perform jobs that Amerikans won't do.

The quicksand that envelops us in Iraq is a 'good' thing, because the terrorist thugs are killing Amerikans over there, instead of stateside.

The whopping new budget-breaking Medicare prescription drug entitlement is a 'good' thing, because it steals a campaign issue from the Donkey Clan.

Am I the only one who thinks that 'we know we suck, but those other guys suck worse' isn't a valid reason to support W and his pachyderm homeboys in November? Amerika deserves better, and it's about time we did something about it.

Where's My Bounce?
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/01]

Breathless vast right-wingnut boom box blather bozos - eagerly - report that Donkey Clan Oval Office aspirant, John Kerry, didn't get the usual post-convention bounce. In fact, depending on which dart board - a poll by any other name - you use, he managed to lose several percentage points. Bold New Concept.

As thrilling as this must be to some-damn-body, it's not stop the presses stuff. Unlike the boom box based Elephant Clan Kool-Aid Club, this pagan isn't impressed. There appear to be several contributing factors:

The network coverage wasn't as extensive as it was in 'the good old days'.

With its foregone conclusion, the convention had all the suspense of an execution.

The convention elevated boredom to new heights.

There aren't as many 'undecided' voters out there, this election cycle. W is a very polarizing dude.

Kerry isn't an inspirational hack. His primary electoral appeal is that he's not George Bush.

If this Kerry non bounce stuff thrills you spitless, knock yourself out, but don't hold your breath waiting for this pagan scribbler to give a rip.

SEPTEMBER 2004

Cherry Mama Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thought [09/30]

Given her full-to-bursting personal appearance schedule, the Cherry Mama could use some help from all those blood soaked tome notables infesting the celestial realm. Why is she forced to do all the heavy lifting on this personal appearance gig? What about the apostles, the patriarchs, the prophets and all the other scriptural heavyweights? What, exactly, are they doing that's so damn important? Schmoozing with Old Ka-Boom, listening to his incessant bragging, can't be a full time job.

Although the Cross Dude did send a plastic surrogate to thrill Mexas-dwelling supernaturalists [PIG Holy Roller News, 09/28], the Cherry Mama continues to be the hardest working denizen in the celestial realm. Old Ka-Boom needs to cut Cherry Mama some slack...kick those lazy, celestial dolts where the sun don't shine and send them out to give the Cherry Mama a well-earned break. Don't make me come up there.

A Cutting-Edge Hate Crimes Solution
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/24]

If, as hate crime laws imply, some victims are more acceptable than others...If, as these laws insist, some motives for raping, assaulting, or killing another individual are more noble than others, then we need to ‘help’ our easily confused criminals verify that their chosen victim is ‘fair game’ under our hate crime laws. With that noble purpose fixed in our minds, I submit an inspired hate crimes solution.

What we need is a dose of legicrap to help Amerika’s criminals avoid the ignoble ‘hate crime’ label. Since the courts made police work much more complicated with Miranda Warnings, and assorted other nonsense, why not balance the scales with some criminal red tape? The legicrats need to appoint a ‘blue ribbon commission’ of criminals and order this commission to create an official, inclusive, victim-screening questionnaire.

All criminals would be required to obtain a copy of this document from their local library, post office, police station or via an Internet site and carry it with them when engaged in a criminal enterprise. Before indulging in the criminal act, the perpetrator must obtain answers to all of the questions on his list, to verify that his intended victim is not a member of a protected minority. Once so-assured, the criminal is free to rob, rape, assault, deface, or murder, without the stress induced by a potential ‘hate crime’ accusation. Just like that, the hate crime problem is solved.

Memogate Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/16]

Item: The Telling Memogate Issue
CBS's hotly-debated memogate show is still newsworthy, but not because certain pesky details keep blowing up in Dan Blather's face. It's newsworthy because, from its inception, it rejected journalistic objectivity and embraced blatant partisanship.

'60 Minutes II' began with a foregone conclusion: A privileged W didn't fulfil his National Guard duties and used political pull to pave the way for him. In their zeal to prove this notion, '60 Minutes II' systematically rejected any fact, interview, account, or document that didn't prove their etched in stone, non-negotiable conclusion.

Dan Blather and his minions call this 'objectivity', I call it a politically-motivated hatchet job. The disputed '60 Minutes II' show might be a lot of things, but one thing it isn't is Journalism.

Item: CBS Redefines 'Credible'
CBS has a twisted notion on what makes a credible news source:

If the source likes, or is indifferent to W, that automatically eliminates them from any/all credible source eligibility.

If the source is vocal about his, her or its dislike - or disapproval - of W, they are deemed eminently credible.

Using these skewed guidelines, Lt. Colonel Killian's son and wife were deemed not credible, while a blatantly partisan, John Kerry campaign supporter, Ben Barnes, and Lt. Colonel Killian's Bush-hating secretary were deemed credible in the extreme. This isn't journalism, it's Kerry-promoting propaganda.

Random Synaptic Activity
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/13]

Several unrelated items flashed through my alleged brain.

Item: Is Fidel Eating Those Funny Mushrooms, Again?
Anticipating Hurricane Ivan's arrival in his Marxist eden, Fidel announced that, no matter how much devastation Ivan wreaks, he will not accept any assistance from Uncle Sam. Somebody needs to increase the voltage on Fidel's shock treatments. Fidel, dude, don't hold your breath waiting for Uncle Sam to offer you anything, unless it's a one way ticket out of Cuba.

Item: Assault Weapon Ban Expires
The usual lefty suspects are in a lather because the Federal Ban On Assault Weapons just expired. Hell-A based dweebs, like the Big Apple clown running the LAPD, see oceans of blood running in the streets. Why, now that the law is changed, the lawless scum will be armed to the teeth, Chief Braton blithered. Get a grip dude. They're already armed to the teeth and they didn't get their heavy artillery from your local, street legal gun shop.

Item: Keeping It Warm For...Her?
Increasingly, it appears that John Kerry's primary appeal is the indisputable fact that he's not George W. Bush. His supporters are untroubled by his flip-flops, because his views don't really matter to them. If John gets elected, he faces a very low bar for success: his primary task involves keeping that oval office chair warm until 2008, when Hillary Clinton replaces him.

Blathergate Update
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/10]

The CBS fiasco continues to dominate the discussion on vast right-wingnut conspiracy talk radio, and it's topic number one on such reliable right-wingnut Internet sites as News Max, World Net Daily, The Washington Times, and assorted others. Curiously, it's virtually invisible in those notoriously lefty fishwraps: New York Times, Boston Globe, San Francisco Chronicle, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, and countless others.

There are, here and there, a few lefty [alleged] news sources that are giving it more than a page 9000 mention. One lefty fishwrap that seems 'in the game' is the Washington Post. MSNBC, ABC news and CNN are on it, to varying degrees, but I'm guessing that - barring some major revelation that blows CBS out of the water - it will disappear at all the usual lefty sources by Monday morning.

If there's anything that's newsworthy here, it's a factoid that hasn't been mentioned by anyone - left or right. Why is this 'Sunday Sucker Punch' being wasted early in September, when it's no shit the prototypical "October Surprise"? Why are the lefties wasting it so soon, when, given the proper timing, they could spring it at the last minute - too late for anyone to refute it - and swing the election to Kerry?

There are only two possible answers to this "why now" question. One answer - an answer guaranteed to keep Karl Rove sleepless for weeks - is that this isn't their Grade 'A' October Surprise material. A second, equally plausible answer, opines that Kerry is in such dire straits that his minions think the election will be hopelessly lost by October. Whatever the case, this is only the beginning of a classically vicious Donkey Clan slash and burn campaign. As usual, this pagan scribbler will bring you all the newsworthy tidbits, as they occur.

A Two-Pronged Lefty Media Assault On W
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/09]

Terrified by the latest polls that show their homeboy, John 'Flip-Flop' Kerry losing ground, the 'unbiased' news media launched a two pronged assault on W. Leading this desperate attempt to save Kerry's candidacy, CBS and NBC are serving up smears about W antics in bygone days. The 'new' smears feature that tired, warmed over bovine excrement that didn't stick the first 10,000,000,000 times the lefty scum threw it a W, but, these alleged journalists swear, they've really got the goods, this time out.

CBS landed the first sucker punch, last night, when their flagship propaganda show, '60 Minutes II' served up a "W shirked his National Guard duty" piece that featured a guilty confession from former Mexas Lt. Governor Ben Barnes, plus memos alleged to be written by then Lt. Bush's commanding officer, Lt. Colonel Jerry Killian. One problem with their new evidence, is that Mr. Barnes' statements last night, don't jibe, in any way, with his sworn testimony in a 1999 inquiry. Another problem with Barnes as a key witness is the well documented fact that he's tied to Kerry and Kerry's campaign, big time. He's a partisan, a fact that Dan Blather glossed over, if he mentioned it at all.

The bigger problem with the CBS piece, one that keeps mushrooming with each passing hour, is the thrilling fact that the documents cited as 'the smoking gun' on Bush shirking his National Guard Duty are very likely fakes. Several 'documents experts' insist that the font used, a superscript 'th', the curlicue apostrophe, and assorted other stuff are common enough, today, thanks to our computer-based word processors, but, in the early 70's, typewriters were the norm and most - perhaps - all of the items cited weren't available on your trusty typewriter. Lt. Colonel Killian's son - a man who served in the National Guard with his father - states that the unsigned memo cited by CBS doesn't jibe with his father's attitude about Lt. Bush. Moreover, his father didn't write memos to himself, nor did he keep 'private' work-related files at home. It's just not the way his father worked. Killian's widow agrees, stating that her husband didn't type. Although they gave this information to CBS and provided the show's producer with the names of other men who served with W, under Lt. Colonel Killian, none of these 'balancing voices' were included in this CBS hit piece.

The second media assault revolves around factually-challenged biographer, Kitty Kelly, and her new tome, an expose about the Bush family. Her smoking gun, cites W's former sister-in-law, Sharon Bush. According to Ms. Kelly, Sharon Bush said that, during the 80's, W snorted coke at the Camp David presidential retreat. Smelling a W-crushing coup, NBC's Today show scheduled Ms. Kelly for three days, early next week. There's just one pesky problem, Sharon Bush categorically, denies that she told Kitty Kelly a damn thing about W shorting coke at Camp David. Given the way Kitty Kelly's previous biographies were thoroughly debunked as fallacious, she's not an especially reliable source for factual information. NBC knows this and doesn't give a damn. They will do anything, say anything, no matter how erroneous, if it nails Bush.

This two pronged media assault on W tells a rational adult all anyone needs to know about media bias. Both CBS and NBC use dubious sources, willingly, knowingly and they don't give a flaming rip. CBS and NBC deliberately ignore any facts that don't fit their foregone, W is turbo scum conclusion. If anyone still doubts that the dominant news media is no shit, the propaganda arm for the Donkey Clan lefties, they're in a coma. Given that, it’s sheer lunacy to expect objectivity from these alleged journalists, and, that goes double for Dan Blather whose left-wing bias is legendary. Wake up and smell the 'we'll elect Kerry or die trying' media Nazi coffee, shit for brains.

Afterthought:
Does any rational individual give a flaming goddamn what W did, or didn't do, during his colorful, party punk days? Why does anything either candidate perpetrated during the Vietnam era matter? W should be measured on his actions as the oval office denizen. His oval office tenure gives friends and foes alike all the ammo they need. If you're determined to vote him out, cite his Medicare debacle, his bloated educrap bill, his egregiously expensive farm welfare package, his protectionist antics and the way he coddles his lord and master, Vicente Fox. His domestic policies are much more telling than anything he did, or didn't do, thirty damn years ago in the Texas National Guard.

CAIR Doesn't Care
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/07]

CAIR's silence on the Russian school massacre is deafening. Where are their angry condemnations of this horrendous crime in the name of their beloved supernaturalism? Here and there, outraged Mecca Maniac voices are speaking up to vilify this massacre as an outrage and a stain on their supernaturalism. But, the CAIR punks are curiously silent.

When it comes to a boom box host's Mecca Maniac joke, a political cartoon, or a Big Apple arcade game, they're all over it with their angry prose. But, when some Russian schoolchildren are slaughter by CAIR's Mecca Maniac homeboys, they can't find the time to give a damn.

Stick your bullshit where the sun don't shine CAIR, because you've finally shown your true colors. Any group that won't condemn this Russian schoolhouse atrocity is a waste of breathable air. If you can't speak out against this atrocity, just shut your goddamn yaps, permanently. Don't make me come over there.

A Primer On Amerikan-Style Class Warfare
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/06]

The election cycle is in full swing and both parties are promising to bestow government largesse on those constituent groups that form their political base. Before you surrender to either political clan's Siren song, step back, take a deep breath and consider the underlying notion that's being perpetrated, when Uncle Sam opens his tax-funded wallet.

The Amerikan welfare state is founded on the inherently-unstable collectivist axiom: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. This Marxist mantra isn't cited in those exact words by Amerikan collectivists, but their 'erecting a social safety net' drivel amounts to the same damn thing. Two salient words in this mantra are 'ability' and 'need', so it's instructive to examine each in turn.

In class warfare, transfer of wealth, terms, 'ability' relates to wealth...the property, real and personal, earned by Amerikan achievers. Wealth is a dynamic - not fixed, as collectivists claim - commodity, due to the fact that an individual or firm might, at any moment, create a new invention, process, application, or some other marketplace element that actually creates new wealth, where none existed. The Internet, the personal computer, and cell phones, are items that created new wealth. For all its dynamism, wealth, at any given instant in time, has limits, if one confines it mean the real, personal property amassed by achievers. Real property is where the action is, because it's the 'wealth' class warfare clowns seek to transfer. At a given moment in time, 'real' wealth is finite, so, in theory, it's possible for the class warriors to take all of it.

The other key element in the Marxist mantra, 'need', is also dynamic, but, unlike wealth, need is infinite. If Amerika's social engineers plundered every scrap of wealth from Amerikan achievers and gave it to Amerika's chronically-needy parasites, it still wouldn't be enough. Like a black hole, their need grows stronger, the more you feed into it. In fact, caving in to parasitic need accelerates its growth. Worst of all, the more you try to satisfy a parasite's need, the more obnoxious...the more demanding he gets.

Ultimately, no matter how much you give them, parasites will continue to play their 'need' card. It's the way lifelong parasites function. Contrarily, if you take everything he's got, the looted down to his last dime achiever will immediately amass more wealth, because that's the way achievers function. So, go ahead, class warfare asshats, steal every last dime. It won't do you a damn bit of good, because you'll finish right back were you started. But, be warned, the achievers may not play patsy the next time you come to impoverish them.

When John 'Ultra Liberal' Kerry, Or George 'Big Government, Lite' Bush promises that, under his guidance, Uncle Sam will enrich those deemed 'worthy', stop and consider who is being looted to support this alleged generosity. Stop and consider the greedy, obnoxious, lazy cretins who wear their 'need' like a merit badge. Do that and, perhaps, you'll understand why 'none of the above is acceptable' is the only rational choice in this year's election.

Who Is that Moron?
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/04]

This evening, during a futile channel surfing search for no shit entertaining boob tube fare, I spotted a congenital moron wandering around in a raging hurricane. Who, I asked myself, is dim enough to venture outside during a category two hurricane? An alleged journalist, of course, but imagine my shock when the rain-slickered nitwit turned out to be Geraldo Rivera!

It's a known, Journalism 101 fact that these 'standing in a driving rain, trying not to get blown away' gigs are, typically, bestowed on lower echelon news numbskulls. Why did Geraldo get this assignment? What, I wondered, what did Geraldo perpetrate that was so hideous it prompted Ruper Murdoch to condemn him to a Hurricane Frances drenching? In an unusually generous frame of mind, I considered another, much less likely, explanation. This stray pagan notion envisions a too clever for his own good news executive who sees ratings gold if he can televise Geraldo's untimely, Hurricane Frances demise, in living, Fox News Channel, color. Bold New Concept.

Afterthought
Tragically, MSNBC didn't have the nads - or the ratings grabbing vision - to dispatch their two bellowing asshats, Chris Matthews and Keith Oberman for a Hurricane Frances reality check. Given MSNBC's dismal ratings, it's probably the one way this alleged cable news channel comes close to CNN and Fox News.

Lifestyle Choices
Source: Pagan Scribbler Tantrum [09/03]

[Scribbler Confession: This tantrum achieved critical mass, after I read a commentary by Cross Cult Homophobe, Emeritus, Robert Knight, in which he spewed the familiar,'GLAAD BAAG is a lifestyle choice' bovine excrement.]

When the rubber hits the road and they're being pressed to the wall by a well-reasoned argument about homosexuals being 'equal' under our Constitution, the Vast Right-Wingnut Conspiracy's Cross Cult zealots, invariably, attempt to demean homosexuality by insisting that it's a lifestyle choice. Okay, for the sake of argument, let's stipulate that they're right. Before these smugly-sanctimonious supernaturalists start celebrating, they should take a look in the mirror to see someone else who is riddled with 'lifestyle choices':

Marriage is a lifestyle choice.
Parenthood is a lifestyle choice.
Religiosity is a lifestyle choice.

None of these lifestyle choices make you special, privileged, or entitled, simply because your lifestyle choices are, statistically, predominant. The government is not obligated to favor your lifestyle choices anymore than it is obligated to discriminate against other individuals based on what you deem their 'unworthy' or 'unholy' lifestyle choice. So, take your 'Bun Ranger is a lifestyle choice' bovine excrement and stick it where the sun don't shine because it's utterly and completely irrelevant.

Under our Constitution, sovereign individuals - independent of their lifestyle choices - must be granted identical rights, privileges, obligations and protections. If you don't like it, then you don't understand the inalienable individual liberty on which our nation is built.

Elephant Clan Convention Scorecard
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/02]

If any Goldwater-Reagan stalwarts attended this week's Elephant Clan, Big Apple confab, they were no shit invisible on my boob tube screen. Portraying the Elephant Clan as Amerika's first line of defense against external terrorist threats, a parade of pachyderm prattlers never said word one about curbing Amerika's number one domestic threat: unchecked Nanny State growth under Elephant Clan rule. To this sovereign individual, unimpeded Nanny State power is a no shit internal terrorist threat to our inalienable liberty.

Sooner or later, these big government chickens must come home to roost, and when that happens, the Elephant Clan's two dominant factions will square off in a massive, messy, power struggle. W's most enduring legacy might be this party-splitting fight to the death between big government pachyderm punks and terminally pissed 'paleo conservatives' in 2008's election cycle. When the dust settles - no matter which Elephant Clan faction prevails - the inevitable result will be President-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton.

OCTOBER 2004

O'Reilly Tripped Up By A NO-NAD Gotcha
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/29]

Bill O'Reilly put himself in a no-win situtation when he made all those horndog phone calls to co-worker Andrea Mackris. That's why, despite his on -and off - air bluster, he just cut a deal with his accuser, a deal that includes shut-up and go away money. It's probably the smart move, under the circumstances. Letting this play out in court would further damage his career, because the details in this case paint a very ugly picture of Mister No Spin.

What O' Reilly did - the sexed up phone calls to Ms. Mackris - was moronic, kinky and countless other things, but sexual harassment? No way...not in a rational world. The fact that this dirty talk never involved an explicit - or implied - "play along or you're fired" threat should torpedo any legitimate sexual harassment claim. It should, but it doesn't because a NO-NAD bitch named Catherine McKinnon created a sexual harassment 'gotcha' called "hostile working environment" that makes any man...all men guilty, the instant a wench accuses him.

"Hostile working environment" is a completely subjective concept which is defined by the harassee [the woman in most cases] based on her feelings/sensitivities. Anything a man does - any man, be he co-worker, subordinate or boss - which she 'feels' is sexually motivated can be cited as sexual harassment. Faced with this entirely subjective 'hostile working environment' standard, a man must constantly adjust his every word and gesture to the shifting, unpredictable emotional state of each woman he encounters. Since each woman's feelings are the only measure of a hostile working environment, a man's behavior and/or speech is only as free as the most sensitive woman present will allow (no matter how exaggerated, irrational, or bizarre her sensitivity). It goes without saying that no 'liberated' woman would allow her own behavior or speech to be similarly restricted. Try that and she'll have every feminist shyster bitch on the planet after you.

O'Reilly's antics were far from subtle, but they only qualify as sexual harassment - legally - because Mrs. Mackris 'felt' harassed. Ms. Mackris, voluntarily, stayed on the line while Mister Bill talked dirty. That would seem to imply that she consented to his disgusting behavior, but, thanks to "hostile working environment", she transformed her outraged...sensitivity...her turbulent emotions into an enriching experience. How enriching? No details are available, but certain self-proclaimed experts put the figure at a cool $10 million in dead presidents.

If there's a lesson here, it's the thrilling fact that any dude can be nailed for sexual harassment, any time a female co-worker decides to press the charge. You don't need to be an O'Reilly-class pervert to get nailed, because, like it or not, your behavior is regulated by the sensitivities of your most irrational, hypersensitive co-worker. If she chooses to interpret your "hello" as sexual, kiss your ass goodbye. Maybe O'Reilly did all dudes a favor by putting "hostile working environment" back on News Nazi radar. Be careful dudes...be very careful, because that dolly who laughs at your off-color joke might be another Andrea Mackris playing "hostile working environment" gotcha.

Yasser's Ailment
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/27]

News Nazis were forced to abandon their wall-to-wall election cycle coverage when news broke that everyone's favorite terrorist emeritus, Yasser Arafat, is feeling turbo puny. That fast, News Nazis switched gears and started spewing dark predictions for a post-Arafat Middle East. As thrilling as all this must be for cable news junkies, it does raise a possibilities that nobody - except someone with my twisted imagination - could envision.

Theory One - Curious Timing
Am I the only one who noticed that the timing is very convenient for a certain oval office dwelling candidate? Yasser conks out for a few hours and, just like that, all the News Nazis switch from the tiresome 'where are those 377 tons of high explosives that disappeared on W's watch' to this Arafat on his deathbed story. If this Arafat story has legs, it won't shock me when John 'Flip-Flop' Kerry reaches the same conclusion I did: W induced Arafat's illness to distract the Kerry-loving News Nazis during the critical last days of the election cycle. An Arafat death watch knocks Kerry right off the newscast, during the critical phase of his presidential quest. Karl Rove strikes again? Drat that evil, Elephant Clan genius...

Theory Two - Arafat's Recovery
When the News Nazis, dejectedly, announced that Arafat appeared to be 'stabilized', another theory popped into my hyper-active brain. Obviously, somebody explained to Yasser that his deity's 72 virgin bonus isn't conferred on those who die in bed. The minute he got that hot memo, his health started to improve dramatically. That easily, hanging around a while longer sounded much, much better.

Daring to think outside the box is one reason that I'm PIG's pagan scribbler and you're not. Neener, neener, neener.

A Curse Finally Ends?
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/20]

Once again, the Boston Red Sox are in a position to shake off the venerable (1918, I think) Curse of The Bambino. According to baseball lore, the curse got laid on the bean town team when they traded Babe Ruth to the New York Yankees. Since then, according to curse purists, the Red Sox were hexed into World Series loser status. Several times, since this curse began, the Red Sox made it to the series, but, each time, they were defeated. This year, the team is back in the 'Fall Classic' again, but, according to the usual suspects, the curse will be defeated.

Assuming, for the sake of argument, that the Red Sox actually win the World Series this year, is ending the curse really a good thing? I'm sure that shaking of the Bambino's Curse thrills all diehard Red Sox fans spitless, but it does have a down side. In this pagan scribbler's opinion, it's the Bambino's curse and the fans' pent up expectations that make the Red Sox noteworthy. It's the Curse that gives the Red Sox their unique...character. Once the Curse is gone, they become merely mortal, instead of mythical, because, the instant the Red Sox break the Curse, they're just another baseball team.

Afterthought
A recent newsgroup posting served up this compelling tidbit:

I work with a few really hardcore Boston fans and they are of course excited, but one privately admitted to me yesterday that he's kind of scared of them winning. The idea that there is some mystical force preventing them from winning a series is a great out, because in his words, "without the curse we've just been losers for 80 years."

Truer words, sports fans...truer words...

Nightmarish C-SPAN Programming
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/17]

One of the C-SPAN channels - the one that perpetrates the book talk shows - served up a quartet of Amerika-hating way lefties who spouted the usual 'Amerika oppressed those peace-loving Mecca Maniacs into attacking us' drivel, among other things. They tied it up, some-damn how - with their familiar, Marxist, rants against unfettered capitalism. The thrilling fact that Noam Chomsky was the show's foremost Amerika-basher tells you all you need to know about this boob tube blithering.

The four perpetrators all served up the same drivel: Amerikan Imperialism oppressed peace loving Mecca Maniacs in general - including, no doubt, Osama and his pals - into attacking us. Oh really? Noam and his comrades need to brush up on their history. Militant Islam painted a 'kill first, ask questions, much, much later...if you're in the mood' bull's-eye on the Infidel, at this supernaturalism's inception...in the seventh century. For those readers who - like Comrade Chomsky, et al - are historically challenged, I'll remind you that this "death to the Infidels" mantra started 800 years before Chris Columbus blundered into the new world. That's right, this 'death to the Infidel's' gig started a thousand years before America's founding fathers gave King George III his walking papers.

Did Amerika's alleged imperialism make the Mecca Maniacs destroy the Eastern Roman Empire? Did Amerikan imperialism force Mecca Maniacs to swallow up the Middle East, all of North Africa, the Balkans, and Spain? Wake up and smell the Jihad coffee, Noam. Militant Islam put a holy 'hit' on the Infidel a millennia before Amerika was a gleam in Thomas Jefferson's eye.

The Bedrock Upon Which America Was Built
Source: Major Pagan Scribbler Tantrum [10/15]

We live in an era dominated by such first amendment assaults as Campaign Finance Reform, and the escalating Thought Police [FCC] vendetta on broadcast speech. We live in an era in which a sovereign individual may have his rightful property seized by the almighty state and given to another private citizen whose only claim is deeper pockets. We live in an era in which the private behavior of consenting adults is criminalized by a smugly sanctimonious majority. We live in an era in which, everywhere we look, our inalienable rights are being eroded. We live in an era in which the Founding Fathers' vision for a nation founded on inalienable individual liberty isn't even given lip service by the dominant political clans' presidential candidates.

At some point after the Constitution was implemented in 1789, America - a nation founded on inalienable individual liberty - became a neo-socialist blight named Amerika - a nation steeped in 'protected minorities', class warfare and parasite coddling. With another election reaching critical mass, it's a perfect time to remind everyone about a noble, political experiment named 'America'.

America’s founding fathers recognized that the inalienable rights of sovereign individuals are our birthright, not something conferred by government fiat. It doesn’t matter if they deemed these inherent, inalienable individual rights a fact of nature or a gift from some illusive deity. It’s only important to understand that the inherent, inalienable rights of sovereign individuals are the bedrock on which the founding fathers constructed their new nation. This point cannot be overemphasized. The religiosity or lack thereof of our founding fathers misses the point. The familiar refrain that this a Christian nation is also beside the point. The foundation on which this country was built isn’t the Ten Commandments, the Bible, Christianity, or a generic belief in a supreme being. This nation was constructed on the solid ground of the inherent, inalienable rights of sovereign individuals.

This uniquely American doctrine of inalienable individual liberty was, eloquently, set forth in the Declaration of Independence. Later, our Constitution imposed explicit restrictions on the government’s activities, placing our inherent, individual rights, our birthright, beyond the reach of aspiring tyrants. The central, non-negotiable fact of American life is that a sovereign individual’s inalienable rights cannot be voted away, nor are they subservient to a tyrannical majority’s mercurial moods. Too often, we lose sight of the essential truth that individual liberty is not a popularity contest, nor is it determined by opinion polls. The underlying concept that forms the our country’s foundation is not, never has been, whatever the majority wants is cool. The Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Bill of Rights were not written to enforce the majority’s fickle whims. These documents were specifically written to protect the inalienable rights of the minority from the tyranny of the majority, especially if said minority is one sovereign individual.

It’s always easier to steadfastly defend the inalienable rights of individuals with whom we agree. The real test of our principles comes when we must steadfastly defend the inherent, inalienable, rights of someone with whom we vehemently disagree. This clash between inherent, individual liberty and one’s personal beliefs is most contentious when religion is involved. Too many American true believers feel that their visceral, religious obsession automatically repeals the inherent, inalienable rights of sovereign, non-believing individuals. Our birthright of inalienable, individual rights is not, cannot be, negated by the prevailing supernaturalism of the majority. None of America’s ‘god-fearing’ founding fathers would deem it a proper role for the government they toiled so hard to create to infringe on the inalienable rights of a sovereign atheist individual.

Our founding fathers created the first nation in which a sovereign individual’s inalienable rights reign supreme. It’s time for each and every sovereign, American individual to rededicate himself to this uniquely American principle. It's time to put an end to group think, parasite coddling and class warfare. It's time to return to inalienable individual liberty and it's corollary individual accountability. It's time for each and every sovereign American individual to demand that our elected representatives get back to basics. It's time for each and every sovereign American individual to demand the restoration of America's founding principles.

In this battle to restore our liberty, failure is not an option, because the alternative to inalienable individual liberty is abject slavery to an all-powerful nanny state. That might thrill you spitless, but this American anachronism - the fabled rugged individual - won't accept his nanny state shackles without a fight.

Pagan Goes Postal, Film At Eleven!
Source: Pagan Scribbler Hissy Fit [10/14]

We’ve all endured those boring, snail’s pace, boom-box commercials where the announcer speaks so slowly he sounds like a retard. There's no way in hell that you'll miss a single word. In fact...if you're anything like me...you feel like reaching into that boom-box, grabbing this slo-motion asshat by the throat and bellowing: "Enough already! Spit it out or shut the hell up!" As bad as this slower than molasses prose is, there's something infinitely worse.

The part that puts me on the ragged edge of going postal happens during the last few seconds of the pitch, when a warp speed word flogger jumps in to reel off a mega wad of legalese that would fill the Manhattan telephone book. I defy anyone to catch each and every syllable of this shyster-motivated spew. This pagan has an inflexible policy where such ads are concerned: never trust a company whose shyster-imposed product disclaimer is longer than the ‘meat’ of their advertisement. If a product pitch ends with this warp speed shyster spew, avoid their product like it’s tainted with ebola. You heard it here, first.

The Unasked Question
Source: Pagan Scribbler Tantrum [10/11]

When this week's third, and final, presidential debate focuses on domestic policy, both candidates will, deliberately, ignore the 8,000 pound, domestic policy gorilla that tops many Amerikans' burning issues list: immigration. The border-jumping tidal wave that turns cities like Hell-A into squalid, third-world, cess pools won't merit a single question, nor will either candidate mention this politically radioactive 'I' word.

Maybe, you opine, the moderator can't find the right question. No problem, I've got the perfect question locked and loaded:

Approximately 500 million aspiring border jumpers live between the Rio Grande and Tierra Del Fuego. How many of these chronically-needy parasites get to infest our nation - un-damn-invited - before, you, and Amerika’s other political hacks, wake the hell up and understand that unrestricted immigration is a goddamn problem?

That deafening silence is the only response you'll get from either candidate. Since the hacks refuse to confront this issue, it's time for Amerika's rational adults to get serious about illegal immigration. The best way to get that done is by throwing all these asshats out on their fat, public payroll asses. If the current political hack crowd won't do something about illegal immigration, we'll replace them with someone who will.

Stand up and be counted. Hold the hacks' feet to the fire on illegal immigration. Don't ask, demand that Amerika defend our national borders...by any means necessary.

Assessing Specific Flavors of Supernaturalism
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/08]

[The world's primary flavors of supernaturalism are feeling picked on and misunderstood. Cross Cultists view themselves as besieged by assorted secular forces, so they're doing their best to defend themselves from such pernicious blights as gay marriage, rampant moral decay, and militant secularism. Mecca Maniac activist groups worry that their supernaturalism is viewed - erroneously, in their opinion - as inherently violent, oppressive and liberty's mortal enemy. Both Cross Cultists and Mecca Maniacs are doing their best to address these 'problems', basing their PR campaigns on their scripture and theology. Both supernaturalist flavors are missing the point.

The following commentary prepares the reader to filter though this supernaturalist spin and get at the essentials about a given supernaturalist flavor.]

It's human nature to present your brand of supernaturalism in the best light possible. It's the spiritual equivalent of showing someone your 'best side'. In the 21st century, favored supernaturalism descriptors include: peaceful, loving, forgiving, understanding and everyone's runaway favorite, tolerant. Each sect seeks the moral high ground as a religion of tolerance, but some do so with such deafening fervor that I'm compelled to invoke Shakespeare: "Methinks, thou dost protest too much."

What, precisely, is the most accurate way to assess a given flavor of supernaturalism? The three criteria offered by most supernaturalists are: the sect's professed theology; the sect's holy scripture; the sect's history, as demonstrated by their most significant historical figure(s)...a founder, a patriarch, a prophet, or a savior/messiah. The best way to understand how these criteria work together to define a belief system is by examining each criteria individually.

Each major supernaturalist sect traces its inception back to one specific individual. Torah True Believers cite a patriarch who initiated the 'covenant' with Old Ka-Boom. Mecca Maniacs cite their prophet, Mohammad. Mormons cite their leader, Joseph Smith. The Cross Cult cites a god in human form, their savior, the Cross Dude. In each case, this individual has a hotline to his version of Old Ka-Boom. In each case, this individual gets the straight from Old Ka-Boom skinny on certain essentials relating to core, true believer issues: codes of conduct, rules of engagement, rituals, etc, always in considerable detail. This leads directly to the next criteria: holy scripture.

All scripture is reputed to be divinely inspired, but at least one, the Mecca Maniac tome, is Old Ka-Boom dictating scripture, directly, thru one individual, Mohammad. The Book of Mormon filtered all the scriptures through the sect's principle prophet: Joseph Smith, but, unlike Mohammad, Joseph Smith only translated a written, scriptural record. The Torah and the Blood-Soaked Tome, are filtered through selected third parties - usually several of them - documenting the lives of important individuals, including their chats with their deity. The single source (author) model, usually written during one, prolonged period of divine inspiration, appears to be more coherent, but the chaos stemming from the multi-authored Blood-Soaked Tome doesn't seem to bother Cross Cultists, so who am I to quibble.

The final criteria - theology - evolves from specific tenets laid out in their scripture. The Cross Cult needed to perform an extra step, since they were loaded down with a vast selection from which to choose. In their case, armed with the provenance attached to each scripture candidate, they performed a selection process during which each book offered for consideration got voted in, or out, of the Blood-Soaked Tome. In all supernaturalist sects, once the final scriptural version is formally adopted, the approved scripture door is closed, permanently, preventing any future - potentially disruptive - scriptural outbursts.

Long after a supernaturalism's scripture is locked in place, theology continues to evolve, due, in large part, to the fog of time that renders certain historical facts, events and individuals indistinguishable from pious myth. It's this theological evolution that caused (continues to cause) the relentless fracturing within cross cultism. Although Islam appears to be monolithic, it, too, has its internal fractures, with two primary sects: Sunni and Shia, plus assorted other subsects. Torah True Believers come in several subflavors, and there are at least two versions of Mormonism. Theology, it seems, is mercurial, and subject to wide, conflicting interpretation. That's hardly a commendable pedigree for an evaluation criteria.

Armed with this overview, we can, finally, address the essential question: What, precisely, is the most accurate way to assess a given flavor of supernaturalism? Sect history? Sect scripture? Sect theology? All three? It's 'none of the above', because, the answer lies elsewhere. In the 21st century, the only meaningful measure poses this question: How do a supernaturalist sect's adherents implement the theology derived from their sect's scripture and history? Beliefs are irrelevant. Ancient words and deeds are equally irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what the believer does with them. That is the only pertinent measurement criteria for any supernaturalist sect. The actions that matter are those involving the adherent's existing political environment. All sects stray into the political realm, to some extent, but Mecca Maniacs are, by far, the most egregious offenders.

When supernaturalists make their sales pitch - spouting bovine excrement about their sect's amazing tolerance - don't let them distract you with their theology, scripture and ancient history. Ignore all this self-serving hot air and evaluate their 21st century actions. Force them to justify the actions taken in the name of their sect, here, now, today. Hold their feet to the fire over their infringement of individual liberty. Make them answer for imposing their quaint supernaturalism on those who don't share their pious delusions. Are they legislating morality? Are they practicing supernaturalist indoctrination in their nation's schools? Do they impose free speech abolishing laws concerning journalism, popular culture or, perpetrate such over the top bovine excrement as blasphemy laws? If the answer to any of these and other, similar, questions is 'yes', then tolerant, they aren't. Before you buy into a supernaturalist sales pitch, ask the hard questions.

NOVEMBER 2004

Hannity's Race Card Wrangling
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [11/29]

Sean is spewing color-coded drivel about the way libs are treating W's appointees. Once again, Hannity's Kool-Aid swilling is no shit out of damn control. After listening to his drivel, I jotted down some stray thoughts on the subject...

Sean is perpetrating a color-coded bean counting that stresses certain W appointee's racial/ethnic pedigree over their more relevant, individual, merits and/or accomplishments. Hannity seems to elevate immutable traits - race, ethnicity - over all other considerations when it comes to W's properly-hyphenated nominees: Condi Rice (Secretary of State), Carlos Guiterrez (Secretary of Commerce), and Alberto Gonzales (Attorney General).

Implicit in Hannity's rant is the unequivocal - unspoken - tenet that opposing any of W's properly-hyphenated nominees is racist, no matter why you're opposing them. Sean steals a page from the lefty hack playbook when he insists that nobody is allowed to question W's properly-hyphenated nominees, because to do so, for any reason, is blatant racism. Due to their immutable traits, Rice, Gutierrez and Gonzales must get a free pass, so sayeth Sean Hannity.

Staying with this color-coded blithering, Hannity spewed impassioned drivel about the racial/ethnic diversity of W's appointees. Staying with the lefty playbook, Hannity borrows another time-tested lefty ploy when he gives his seal of approval to superficial diversity based on immutable traits. Ironically, Hannity is endorsing the same diversity bovine excrement that he excoriates when it's perpetrated by Ivory Tower eggheads. A diversity of ideas, is nifty, unless it's W's appointees. When it comes to W and his appointees, a superficially-diverse team - based on race/ethnicity alone - is just peachy in Sean's mind.

Condi Rice's race, Carlos Gutierrez Cuban roots, and Alberto Gonzales ethnicity are irrelevant. Either they possess the requisite skills for Secretary of State, Commerce Secretary, and Attorney General, respectively, or they don't. If W deems them qualified, that should settle the matter. If any or all, fail to perform their appointed tasks, their failure will land squarely on W's desk. It's a simple matter of his bad call...his hell to pay.

Harnessing Righteous Indignation
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [11/26]

[Originally, this commentary was written in response to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling deeming the phrase "under god" in the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional. With morality voters feeling their oats, after their antics on behalf of George W. Bush, this commentary is doubly relevant. If morality voters feel like doing something useful for a change, I have a few suggestions.]

When three federal judge declared 'under god' unconstitutional, every true believer had a hissy fit. Whenever an 'activist judge' orders the state to remove the 10 Commandments from government property, the righteous right goes postal. Whenever an Educrat expels the Cross Cult deity from government cess-school classrooms, the holy roller horde bellows its outrage. Whenever pernicious secularism gives true believers a boo-boo, they respond with noisy fervor. Brandishing their holy book in one fist, they pound the table with the other, venting their righteous indignation in a relentless, thunderous, din. Now that we know an untapped reservoir of righteous indignation exists, why don't we harness it? Why don't we aim it at something meaningful, for a change?

Why can't the same deafening, righteous indignation be heard when the outrage is a tax system that punishes achievement and rewards failure? Why isn't anyone pounding the table about spending 6 months of the year working to payoff the government? Why isn't anyone thundering about the tax Nazis bleeding our most successful entrepreneurs dry?

Why can't the same deafening, righteous indignation be heard about a government perpetrated by cretins who only care about two things: increasing the scope and duration of their political power; paying off political supporters through political patronage. Why isn't someone pounding the table about the relentless, unconstitutional growth of government power? Why isn't someone thundering about the government's relentless assault on the inalienable rights of sovereign individuals?

Why can't the same deafening, righteous indignation be heard about the way our residual scraps of capitalism are being crushed and corrupted by the ever-increasing burden of government bureaucracy? Why isn't anyone pounding the table about the government's fatally flawed bookkeeping? When it comes to doctored books, fictional bottom lines and fiscal slight of hand, the government makes Enron's financial manipulations look like a petty squabble about a badly-run lemonade stand. Why don't we hear some thundering outrage about this?

Why can't the same deafening, righteous indignation be heard about a government school system that stopped trying to educate decades ago? Why isn't someone pounding the table over the fact that educational ineptitude is so rampant in government cess-schools that they can't even perform their self-appointed task: indoctrinating the young minds full of mush in their care? Why isn't someone thundering about high school graduates who can neither read nor write?

Why can't the same deafening, righteous indignation be heard about the fact that a critical mass of our citizenry spends every waking hour, 'working the system.' Why isn't someone pounding the table about Amerika's greedy, obnoxious, lazy dolts who seem to be saying: "I see all these uppity types in their big cars, with their fat bank accounts and their college education telling everyone all you need to do to get ahead in Amerika is study hard, keep your nose to the grindstone and pull yourself up by the bootstraps. That's bunk. I got me something lots better. I got me a congress punk and all it cost me was one measly vote. Thanks to him, I'm eatin from that hard-work fool's table, spending money from his bank account and it only cost me one vote. Hell, if I ask that congress fella, he'll have me doin this 'study hard' fool's wife. I'm thinkin I'll ask that congress fella for that, next election cycle." Why isn't someone thundering about an alphabet soup of greedy, obnoxious, lazy dolt-coddling congressional brain-farts?

If righteous indignation is a surplus commodity, why not direct it a something meaningful? Compared to an obscene tax system that punishes achievement, an out of control government, government cess-schools whose only product is politically-correct idiots with self-esteem, and all the rest, the familiar true believer laundry list of complaints pales by comparison. It's a simple matter of setting reasonable priorities. It's as basic as 'first things, first'.

Random Synaptic Activity
Source: Pagan Scribbler Stray Thought [11/22]

For those who keep track, here's another fearless pagan prediction:

The 2008 Oval Office derby won't be about the economy, nor will it be about terrorism. The central issue will be immigration. That's why John 'Open Borders'McCain is a dubious candidate.

VRWC Boom Box Blithering
Source: Pagan Scribbler Mini Tantrum [11/15]

Hannity is blithering about judge nominees. He's up to here with Donkey Clan litmus tests imposed on W's Federal Judgeship nominees. He claims that these dastardly lefties, categorically, eliminate certain 'intolerable' beliefs: life begins at conception evangelicals being a prime example, in his estimation. Lefty litmus tests? I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you.

Sean claims that 'the radical left' is unique in this philosophical litmus test thing. His beloved Elephant Clan won't go there, he insists...Oh really? Would his Elephant Clan homeboys confirm a strict constructionist judge whose judicial record was beyond reproach, if said judge made no pretense about his atheism? I way don't think so, Tim.

Hannity also chimed in on an Amendment to allow the Terminator to become President:

"The Constitution is very hard to amend. This isn't the time for such an amendment...I like Arnold...I really do..."

Translation: "I'm thrilled Arnold is Governor of Mexiforian (A blue state), but no way in hell would I want this unabashed social liberal in the Oval Office."

Mob Rule
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [11/14]

"Lawmaking inevitably involves some group imposing its beliefs on the rest of us. That’s the nature of the democratic process." Archbishop of Denver endorses Mob Rule.

"A man has no freedom of thought if the State has the power to force its beliefs on him. Nor can a man pursue his own happiness, or even express himself freely, if society has the power to seize his means of doing so (i.e. his property)." Amit Ghat

"... individual rights are absolutes; you either have them in their entirety (regardless of anyone’s vote), or you don’t have them at all (e.g. if they can be forfeit to the "democratic" impulses of the mob at any time)." Amit Ghat in a Capitalism Magazine Commentary

[Although written some time ago, this pagan commentary is especially appropriate with the family values crowd energized by the highly publicized 'morality mandate'. Emboldened by the fun fact that they perpetrate a critical mass in numerous red states, these rigidly righteous righties are falling back on a timeless, too often successful, political ploy: Mob Rule. Their mantra seems to proclaim: "We can set any rules we want, because there are more of us than there are of you."

Before we travel down Tyranny of the Majority Highway, we need to take a moment to examine Mob Rule and its impact on inalienable individual liberty in the 21st Century.]

Inalienable: Incapable of being alienated, surrendered or transferred < inalienable rights>
Merriam-Webster Dictionary

I finally ‘get it’ about inalienable individual liberty...as espoused by the Vast Right-Wingnut Conspiracy [henceforth the VR-WC]. The VR-WC loves to quote the Declaration of Independence, especially the part that reads "endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights". If pressed, they would probably agree that old ka-boom made such inalienable individual liberty 'part of the package' that goes with being born human. What goes unstated is the fun fact that these smugly-sanctimonious supernaturalist storm troopers appointed themselves sole arbiters over which rights any given individual is allowed to use. In other words, their deity gave each individual the ‘potential’ for individual liberty, but the VR-WC gave themselves full and complete control over which ‘inalienable’ individual rights are deemed suitable for ‘society at large’. You are only as free as they allow you to be.

Make no mistake about it, when Medved, Limbaugh, Hannity, Ingraham, Frist, Santorum, et al, say that ‘this is a christian country’ they mean: we decide which rights you may exercise and if you don’t like it, we’ll use government coercion to enforce your compliance. Spewing drivel about ‘traditional family values’, they condemn inalienable individual liberty to the tender mercies of a howling mob. Under this supernaturalist scheme, liberty is never fixed; liberty is whatever the rampaging, self-righteous, holy roller brown shirts say it is.

Nearly 200 years ago, an especially perceptive Frenchman, Alexis De Tocqueville, identified this dark impulse lurking in the Amerikan character and he gave it a compelling label: tyranny of the majority. Since the phrase tyranny of the majority - quite accurately - exposes this fetid notion for what it is, the VR-WC tries to distract rational adults by employing fuzz-ball terms like ‘majority rule’, ‘states rights’ ‘traditional values’, and ‘democracy’. Nice try, but, the time for word games is over. It’s time to unmask this crap and view this intolerable assault on our liberty in all its reeking glory. The proper name for this VR-WC bovine excrement is Mob Rule.

Like so many nifty, liberty-zapping schemes, Mob Rule is plagued by the law of unintended consequences. Mob Rule terrorizes due to sheer force of numbers, and that’s Mob Rule’s Achilles Heel. The VR-WC discovered the hard way that once you endorse Mob Rule, you’re always compelled to accept the mob’s dictates, no matter how close to ‘home’ they hit. If you join the howling mob when it criminalizes sexual practices between consenting adults...If you join the mob when it dictates which adults can, legally, become lifemates...If you join the mob when it criminalizes the recreational use of certain plant byproducts - pot, for example...If you join the mob when it evicts evolution from science classrooms, then you must accept those rules imposed by another mob. As a goose-stepping promoter of Mob Rule, you lose the ability to protest when another howling mob criminalizes your cheeseburger with fries cravings, outlaws your nicotine addiction or banishes your SUV from the Amerikan highway.

The entry fee you pay when you endorse Mob Rule is your inalienable individual liberty, so don’t spew your ‘be responsible for your own actions’ crap at this sovereign individual, because I’m no longer listening to hypocrites like you. I see you for who...what you really are: smugly-sanctimonious, aspiring theocrats intent on suffocating inalienable individual liberty through the pious tyranny imposed by your Mob Rule. Don’t expect this sovereign individual to be there for you when the other mob goes after your Whopper, your Winstons, or your Expedition. You made this Mob Rule hell, it’s only fair that you burn in it.

It’s ironic that the same flag waving patriots who proclaim their devotion to the inalienable individual liberty this nation was founded to protect, hold this bedrock American concept in such low regard. They no longer have the right to quote Thomas Jefferson’s timeless words:

“We hold these truths to be self evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness..”

These Mob Rule theocrats no longer understand this non-negotiable concept - inalienable individual liberty - and they’re an insult to all the true patriots who sacrificed so much to “secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity”.

Assorted Pagan Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [11/08]

Surrender Monkeys :
France dispatched reinforcements to put down a revolt in the Ivory Coast. In related news, there's now a critical security guard shortage in the Surrender Monkey homeland.

Border Jumpers :
"The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result." (Dan Stein, president of the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR).

W's guest worker brain-fart - amnesty in disguise - didn't work when President Reagan tried it and it won't stem the border-jumping scumbag tide this time, either. Reagan's illegal immigrant solution caused a border jumping increase and so will this one. Stupid ideas don't get any smarter because someone new spouts them.

Rational Adults Win One :
An Elephant Clan-infested Nevada county served up a nifty shock for its resident Morality Nazi horde when the electorate voted - by a whopping 2-to-1 margin - to keep prostitution legal. Kudos are conferred on Churchill County's rational adults for deep-sixing the Morality Nazi inspired, anti-brothel initiative.

Random Synaptic Activity
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [11/06]

Signs Of The Times
The Headline in a Seattle fishwrap reads: "Man Jumps To Death From Aurora Bridge". The instant I see it, I'm thinking: He's probably a despondent Democrat who can't get into Canada.

Arlen Spector Strays Into The VRWC Bull's-eye
The VRWC [vast right-wingnut conspiracy] lunatic fringe is on the warpath, again. When Arlen Specter dared to stray from the Elephant Clan's 'abortion is icky' orthodoxy, he incurred the wrath of the lunatic, Morality Nazi wingnuts. These family values goose-steppers don't tolerate speech, especially when it gets 'that' free.

Part of the blame for this uproar belongs to Specter who spouted off to a reporter, and part of it belongs to a lefty media that filled the holy roller way right with the notion that they, singlehandedly re-elected W. Determined to flex their political muscle, the holy roller right is mounting a campaign to prevent Specter from taking over the Senate Judiciary Committee chairmanship in January. Big fun...

Room Temperature Border Jumping Transititions
"Groups want better migrant death tallies" Sacramento Bee headline

According to the headline, the usual illegal immigrant coddling suspects want a more accurate count of the scumbags achieving room temperature while trying to sneak into the USA. I'm thinking we don't need a more accurate body count, we need a much HIGHER count.

Election Cycle Musings
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [11/03]

Several unrelated notions set off synaptic activity in my alleged brain, while I ingested the election cycle results. In no special order, these are a few initial impressions:

Zogby Blows It Big Damn Time

John Zogby's 'John Kerry wins in a 330 electoral vote landslide' prediction appears to be the biggest whopper spread on election day. His reputation for getting it right is in shambles this morning. Color me thrilled.

Flynt Emulates Baldwin and Streisand

We won't have 'Hustler' publisher, Larry Flynt to kick around anymore, if he follows up on his pre-election prose:

'..."If Bush is re-elected - but I don't want to even consider the thought for one second - I really have to think about living somewhere else," Flynt said early Monday in a strip club on the Champs Elysees in Paris where he was celebrating his 62nd birthday...' (News 24)

Promises, promises. We've heard the same crap in 2000, when Alec 'Bellowing Asshat' Baldwin, Babs Streisand, et al thrilled rational adults spitless with the same...unfulfilled promises. Unlike the aforementioned Hollywood assclowns, Flynt has one redeeming quality: He majorly pisses off the Morality Nazi horde. Also, this pagan has to cut some slack for a dude who celebrates his birthday in a Parisian strip club...so sue me.

Election Cycle Losers:

Exit polls
Zogby
Soros
Dan Blather and the entire, lefty to the max, News Nazi horde
Michael Moore
Bruce Springsteen and other lefty 'celebs'
The 'youth' vote

Election Cycle Winners:

Barak Obama - rising Donkey Clan Star
Hillary Clinton - presumptive Donkey Clan presidential candidate in 2008
Supenaturalists - they virtually buried gay marriage
Border jumping scumbags - look for a virtual amnesty in the next congress.

Where are they now?

Michael Moore...MIA
Soros....In hiding
Jimmy Carter...hiding out in North Korea?
All those Euro poll observers...Still MIA
Teddy Kennedy...has anyone searched the local adult beverage emporiums?

What Kerry's Nanny State Policies Really Meant

A right to health care is the right to coerce your neighbors into paying for your health care wants and needs.
A right to a 'living wage' is the right to coerce an employer into paying you more than you're worth.
A right to a job is the right to coerce an employer into hiring you, no matter how unqualified you are.

The new lefty mantra

The lefty horde is in a lather over Kerry's defeat, and they're already sounding a dire warning: The Christians are coming...the Christians are coming. Wrong...again, dudes. The Cross Cult was already here, spreading their Morality Nazi job, in their wake, but you were too Neocon bonkers to notice.

Out With The Old, In With The New

Old and busted: Terrible Tommy Daschel....
New, Improved, Donkey Clan Mouthpiece: Comrade Hillary

Old and busted: Neocons....
New, Improved, Right Wingnut Menace: The Religious Right

Old and busted: John Edwards
New, Improved, Donkey Clan Rising Star...Barak Obama

Old and busted: Exit polls
New, Improved, Election Assessment: waiting until the votes are tabulated

 

DECEMBER 2004

Lies, Damn Lies, And Statistics
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/31]

Whether it’s environmentalists citing data on so-called global warming, or the properly-hyphenated spouting numbers that prove their victimhood, the blizzard of numbers - statistics, if you will - can seem very compelling, at first glance. The following dose of pagan scepticism should be studied carefully, and employed whenever someone with an axe to grind uses the numbers game to promote their cause:

 

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. How objective is the study? Who perpetrated it? Did the researcher start with a ready-made solution then seek out data to confirm it?

Is the change real, meaningful, or a result of better research and more accurate data?

Never accept percentages at face value. Always examine them carefully, suspiciously. Anything trumpeted as an increase of (n)% is especially questionable. Going from 1 person doing (fill in the blank) to 4 people doing (fill in the blank) can be sensationalized as a 300% increase.

Whenever possible look for hard numbers. How many people were in the sample group? What were the exact numbers in each category?

Health Nazis like to sensationalize real numbers - especially where death and disease are concerned - by using the following format: (n) people die of/suffer from (fill in the blank) every (n – insert unit of time...usually seconds or minutes). In this case, get out your calculator and do the math. What sounds alarming, can turn out to be smoke and mirrors when you reduce it to hard numbers. Another thing to consider is that the U.S. population numbered (281,421,906) in the 2000 Census. You might want to calculate what the total number of individuals incurring the dreaded malady represents as a percentage of the total population. [Key numbers to assist your calculations: 525,600 minutes/year; 8760 hours/year]

Some of the most familiar statistics - the number of deaths from second hand smoke, for example - are utter bullshit. The science, such as it is, is warped until the desired results are achieved. If someone dies, from any cause, and they’ve been in the same universe as a smoker, second-hand smoke is cited as the cause of death. If you do the math on such statistics, you often find that we’re killing off the entire U.S. population, every year or so. Houston, we have a problem.

Don’t let the spew of numbers distract you. Take the time to dig deeper, and get what Paul Harvey calls, ‘the rest of the story’.

The Two-Party Shell Game
Source: PIG Commentary

[This PIG Commentary originally appeared in 2003. Since Amerika's prevailing political environment is still egregiously unenlightened, this commentary is worth repeating. Keep this rant handy during the forthcoming legicrap season, because you're gonna need it.]

For starters, I will stipulate - as vast right-wingnut conspirators insist so noisily - that surrendering Amerika to way lefty Donkey Clan hacks dooms us to socialist, Nanny State tyranny.

Despite their relentless yammering, vast right-wingnuts never find time to answer the essential question: How is their celebrated 'compassionate conservatism' any better than Donkey Clan scripted statism? No matter which political clan prevails, Amerika ends up in the same liberty suffocating, statist, condition, when the political transformation process is completed. Both political clans will regulate the marketplace into oblivion. Both clans enslave the competent - the achievers - to the parasite horde's chronic need. Living in their glittering palaces like feudal lords, Amerika's political hack masters - Elephant Clan and Donkey Clan alike - will micro-manage every minute of each enslaved Amerikan's life. The Amerikan Gulag has no room for sovereign individuals, and this is the inevitable result, no matter which clan controls our destiny.

To a rational adult like me, America's two dominant political parties are, in reality, two rival wings of a single political entity: the big government party. Only two - essentially minor - elements separate these rival clans. The first involves the speed at which Amerika turns into a cradle to grave Nanny Government gulag. The Donkey Clan favors the express lane, repealing individual liberty in humongous legicrap chunks. The Elephant Clan prefers smaller - stealth - liberty infringements that they wrap in marketplace rhetoric. Both destroy liberty. The primary distinction between these rival political clans, the difference between a quick death by a bullet to the head and a slower death via countless smaller wounds, is lost on this rational adult individual.

The second distinction is slightly more telling. The Donkey Clan's prime movers are hard core Marxists who view a Nanny State enslaved Amerika as a leftist Eden. With capitalism destroyed and inalienable liberty's flickering flame snuffed out, the resulting Amerikan Gulag is a Marxist paradise. The Elephant Clan hacks aren't much better. Marching in lockstep with their compassionate leader, they eagerly sacrifice my individual liberty for momentary, transitory, political gain. In their mindless devotion to political expediency, Elephant Clan hacks willingly hurl their core convictions - assuming they have any - into the Nanny Government, liberty-incinerating inferno. The Donkey Clan's Marxist zealots are a menace to my individual liberty, but at least they believe in some-damn-thing. The Elephant Clan only believes in winning the next election, by any means necessary.

The two political clans don't give sovereign individuals a rational choice. Whether you support the Donkey Clan's Marxist zealots or side with the Elephant Clan's political expediency-obsessed whores, your liberty is doomed. Perhaps...just perhaps, it's time for a second Amerikan Revolution - a revolution of ideas, not bullets. We desperately need this twenty-first century revolution to restore our Founding Fathers' original, liberty-intensive, limited government vision, before it's too late.

Culinary Precautions: A Beginner's Guide To Holiday Cuisine
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/24]

[With the holiday-centered, waistline-inflating, perpetual eating marathon in full swing, this pagan scribbler decided to perform a belated public service with the following dietary advice.]

Never eat anything that's served on those funny shaped little crackers.

Never refuse anything with ice cream in, on, or under it.

Approach ethnic foods with extreme caution. The spiciness of authentic Thai food starts at towering inferno and can go up to "Holy Mother of God!!!!

Cocktail sandwiches only come in two varieties: Bland and Bad.

When eating out, don't waste your time on anything with veggies in it. If you're gonna eat food that is good for you, you might as well stay home.

Any food made from sugar, milk, flour and eggs (pastries, etc.) rates an automatic 3 'yums' on the PIG's celebrated "5 Yum System". If it contains chocolate, it gets bumped up to 4 'yums'

Sauces are, at best, a mine field. When in doubt, avoid them. If you can't resist living dangerously, wait for someone else to eat it and live.

Never eat anything you don't recognize. Never eat a casserole whether you recognize it or not. (The word "Casserole" is Albanian for "death curse".)

Never ask: "What's in it?" Someone might tell you!!

Beware of enthusiastic, kitchen commando, amateurs. The phrase "I'm trying out a new recipe" is the culinary equivalent of the military warning: Incoming!!!

Culinary Terrorism: The True Confessions of a Julia Child from Hell Survivor
Source: Pagan Scribbler Annual Holiday Tantrum [12/20]

It's that time of year again, and I'm already going into shock from the massive onslaught of traditional family values mumbo jumbo that runs amok during the holidays. As usual, it started with the familiar deluge of sentimentally-nostolgic slop leading up to the annual Gluttony Olympics, Thanksgiving. Not to be confused with a pseudo sporting event called the Winter Olympics, the Gluttony Olympics features an impressive array of food-related events. As the name implies, all the scheduled events involve jamming, ramming, cramming, stuffing, squeezing, shoe horning, and/or slam dunking ridiculous, life-threatening, mountains of food into each participant.

Phase Two of this holiday assault on my sanity begins with a deluge of family-oriented drivel. 'It's a Wonderful Life', 'Miracle on 34th Street' and all 953,000 known versions of the Scrooge epic run so often that most hard core TV addicts confuse them with infomercials. Knowing anything even remotely resembling family oriented holiday fare is welcomed like nymphomaniac at a bachelor party, so called celebrities crawl out of the woodwork to star in their own holiday epic. With boob tube programmers seeking low and lower for new holiday atrocities to inflict on an unsuspecting public, can a Charles Manson Christmas movie or a 'William Shatner sings the Christmas classics' music special be far behind?

All of this Phase One, Phase Two garbage is annoying, but ultimately ignorable, for the most part. However, there is one element of this family values-laced nostalgia rubbish that strikes terror in my heart. I refer to the grotesquely exaggerated, utterly bogus, version of 'mom' as some turbo charged Julia Child-class hash slinger. Given the well-documented fact that my mother - an otherwise exceptional woman - was the most infamous culinary terrorist since Jeffrey Dalhmer, I'm sure you can understand my attitude.

During my 'formative years' the state health officials imposed a 10 square mile quarantine zone around our house every time she unleashed one of her virtually indescribable casseroles. More alarming still, her most infamous attempt at a 'new recipe' sent up a toxic cloud so virulent that it caused a three-state wide evacuation and made the whole area unlivable for the next 15,000 years. Is it any wonder I get the screaming night sweats every time some family values moron starts babbling about 'one of mom's unforgettable home cooked meals'?

Don't hold your breath waiting for me to get misty eyed over the usual holiday drivel about mom's culinary expertise, because it ain't gonna happen. All things considered, those rice cakes some alleged pal sent me, decades ago, are starting to sound damn tasty. With a liberal splash of mustard, they might even be edible...Welcome loyal readers, to this pagan scribbler's culinary hell.

Hostile Takeover In Heaven
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/12]

[This piece reached critical scribbler mass, when I heard a lefty lip-flapper talking about the way certain Cross Cultists - Falwell, Robertson - blamed the 9-11 attacks on Amerikan immorality. The aforementioned holy rollers cited the 9-11 attacks as proof that Old Ka-Boom is punishing us, this lefty talking head reported. Bold New Concept.

The jury is still out concerning the contention that Old Ka-Boom is punishing us via these terrorist attacks. On the other hand, this pagan has unassailable proof that Ms. God is screwing us over big time. For those who haven't got a clue on this "Ms. God" wench, I offer the following explanatory prose on heaven's best kept secret.]

She planned, schemed and plotted it for aeons, snatching a bit of power here, a measure of control there, until she finally succeeded. Ms. God, the Great Mother if you prefer, staged a hostile takeover of the celestial realm. The fight which went on endlessly - from our Earthly perspective - was a quick easy victory by celestial standards. Although her influence was felt throughout recorded history, Ms. God's victory was a fait accompli, by the waning years of the 20th century, leaving us at the mercy of this perverse female deity and her warped sense of alleged humor.

The Big Bang bears the unmistakable stamp of Old Ka-Boom, a terminally bad tempered male deity whose tantrums gave us a planet-wide flood - to wipe out prehistoric funsters, the nuking of those ancient fabulous fun spots: Sodom & Gomorrah, the repeated destruction of San Francisco - a modern fabulous fun spot - numerous ice ages to cool hot human blood, Vesuvius go boom on Pompeii - a notorious Roman fun spot - to name a few. Obviously, Old Ka-Boom needs a hobby or something, to help him chill out, now that Ms. God has taken over the family business.

The common chord running through most of Old Ka-Boom's Earth-based tantrums is 'fun spot'. One can only assume, that life with Ms. God is anything but 'fun' for this celestial exploder, giving our eternal party dude a pathological hatred of fun and funsters. Whenever, wherever, he sees fun, Old Ka-Boom floods it, quakes it, burns it, nukes it...I'm sure you get the idea. Don't forget, everything was cool in the Garden of Eden, until 'fun' reared it's ugly head.

By now, purists will be holding their Bibles aloft, screaming 'What Ms. God? The holy book doesn't say a damn thing about any Ms. God.' Point well taken, but I'm just getting started. Your holy book does say that god, the original (Old Ka-Boom) created man in his own image. If you accept this dudely god, you gotta accept the fact he's got a celestial wench stashed somewhere. I mean, do you expect him to spend eternity alone, listening to your ceaseless, prayerful, whining? Grow up! Where do you think this god the son dude came from? Don't start with that bogus Virgin Mary garbage, because the son dude said he existed long before Chapter One, Verse one of Genesis. It's the smoking gun on this babely god scam. Case closed!

You're probably wondering what, exactly, is so sinister about Ms. God. As usual, I have the answer. Old Ka-Boom and his bride both enjoy making direct contact with specially selected humans, but the nature and style of the interaction is a universe apart. Old Ka-Boom likes to get in your face with who he is, what he is, then runs off the usual laundry list of his greatest accomplishments, before he gets down to business. 'Business' for our exploder invariably involves a lot of complaining about what humans are doing to each other and the planet he created for them. Ms. God favors a much more subtle interaction, one so low key, that the contactee doesn't even know she's there. Ms. God likes to plant demented ideas in her victim's head, then waits for the 'fun' to start. If you haven't had a personal encounter with Ms. God, you will, eventually. Trust me when I tell you that Ms. God is a menace.

If you read the Old Ka-Boom's greatest hits (A.K.A., holy scripture) carefully, you can detect Ms. God doing what comes naturally to this perverse celestial wench. She pulled her first stunt on the first humans in the garden of Eden. Let's get real for a second, ok? Putting apples in the Garden of Eden was probably Old Ka-Boom's doing. Telling Adam and Eve not to eat them, was hers. (Like Ms. God didn't know what would happen...Right!) Still unconvinced? Consider this whole 'promised land' caper. Undoubtedly, the 'promise land' notion itself, was Old Ka-Boom's, but locating it in a natural resource-starved pest hole in the Middle East screams "Ms. God".

Perhaps a few examples will make give you the big Ms. God picture:

1) The location, operation and hair-trigger sensitivity of male sexual organs are her idea of a good time. Only a twisted female mind would create this walking hormone-style male whose 'sexual state' is so depressingly obvious, and so ridiculously fragile. How the hell is a dude supposed to convince a babe that he's ‘sensitive’ with that tattle tale bulge in his pants yelling ‘liar, liar pants on fire’? Ms. God loves it when a ‘woodied’ dude attempts to persuade a babe he respects, likes, her for non-physical reasons. No wonder women outlive men. Let's see one of them straight-face their way through ‘I love you for your mind’ while your 'wood' outs you as a liar.

2) Paris Hilton: few days pass without some News Nitwit flashing this no-talent, utterly unremarkable tart's mug shot. Only a perverse deity like Ms. God would inflict this skinny, forgettable nothing on Amerika, and make her a ubiquitous boob tube fixture.

3) Michael Moore - Elevating the Maggot to Hollywood's spokespunk to the great unwashed is another Ms. God antic. Only a devious celestial wench like her would impose this bloated blowhard on us.

4) Custer's last stand had to be her doing. Who else would give a guy with that much hair, the insane impulse to attack all those Indians?

5) U.S. Post Office: Ms. God had to be whispering in our founding father dude, Ben's [Franklin] ear when he 'organized' this self-perpetuating disaster. Given the depressing regularity with which Postal employees go on murderous rampages, invariably directing their rage on postal co-workers, this red ink rat hole has to rate as a Ms. God classic.

6) Anna Nicole Smith - Making this differently sober trailer trash filthy rich reeks of Ms. G.

7) Chris Matthews - This bellowing asshat owes his pathetic, boob tube career to this perverse, celestial wench. Without her, he's at the local drive-up window asking, "Do you want fries with that?"

Once you start looking for her, you find Ms. God in such diverse things as the 'war between the sexes' (Ms. God's personal favorite) or the fun fact that a walking snooze alarm like John Kerry came 'thisclose' to being president. Maybe Old Ka-Boom should stop pouting and throw some of his celestial romantic moves on her, to distract her for a while. If we're lucky, it will distract both of them long enough to let us lead our lives without their help.

The next time you have some insane impulse, stop and ask yourself if it's you, or Ms. God having some fun. Remember, the so-called Devil is just Ms. God disguising her voice. Good luck, you'll need it!

Fiddling While Amerika Burns II - Invasion
Source: Pagan Scribbler Tantrum [12/09]

W and his Kool-Aid swilling red state retards won't face up to the fact that as dangerous as Osama is, this Jihad junkie isn't the only threat to our inalienable liberty. A veritable army of disease ridden, crime-infested, chronically needy parasites is invading our nation, every goddamn day, but W's red state retards can't be bothered. They're too busy securing liberty for Iraqis to take time out to preserve Amerikan liberty. They have time to spare when it comes to protesting Janet Jackson's breast, Nicolette Sheridan's bare back, and Howard Stern's boom box antics. But, when it comes to demanding that the government officials they elected take steps to secure our borders, they're booked solid searching the boob tube for 'indecency'. They send up a deafening din when Bob wants to marry Bill, but haven't got a goddamn word to say about the border jumping scumbags who are destroying this nation from within. They're relentless when it comes to telling their neighbors what books they can read, what movies they can watch, what boob tube fare they're allowed to see, and which sexual practices are allowed between consenting adults, but, haven't got the moxie to demand that our government live up to it's obligation to secure our borders.

Thanks to W's Kool-Aid swilling, red state retards, illegal immigrants have a stronger voice in Congress than Amerikan citizens. If Juan, Guadalupe, Chang or Abdul gets the sniffles, the legicrats that W's red state retards elected will demand Congressional Hearings plus an Independent Commission to find ways to resolve the issue, at the federal level. But, the same legicrat scumbags won't lift a finger when a tax-paying, Amerikan, citizen demands that his elected officials fulfill their Constitutional obligation to secure our national borders. Attention red state retards: you elected this Elephant Clan majority, so it's up to you to make some goddamn noise and demand that Congress take meaningful steps to secure our borders. As usual, I'll refrain from holding my breath while I await red state retard outrage on something this vital to our inalienable liberty.

W and his Kool-Aid drinking red state retards might want to play ostrich with the threat our unsecured borders pose for Amerika, but this pagan scribbler isn't going to make it easy for them. The facts speak for themselves. Hostile enemy forces invade Amerika, daily, and our government doesn't do a damn thing to stop it. The enemy infests our cities and towns, bringing disease, crime, abject poverty, squalor, plus a chronic, insatiable, need for government services paid for by Amerikan citizens. The enemy plunders the Amerikan Nanny State, overwhelms our schools, floods our emergency rooms, then whines that we're not doing enough for them. The enemy is tearing down our inalienable individual liberty, brick-by-brick while W and his Kool-Aid drinking red state retards re-arrange the deck chairs on Uncle Sam's open borders version of the Titanic.

If W and his Kool-Aid swilling, rigidly-righteous, red-state retard supporters can't cope with securing our nation's borders, they need to get the hell out of the way and let Amerika's rational adults do what's gotta be done. We should start by borrowing a page from Malaysia's playbook: Warn all illegals that they have one month to get their ass out of our country. Then, we'll tell them that any illegals caught inside our borders after the deadline will be canned with a bamboo rod until their border jumping butt bleeds, before they're forcibly evicted from our country. If this means tracking each border jumping scumbag down, grabbing him by the scruff of the neck, canning his butt into submission then throwing his sorry ass back across the border, so be it. I'm ready if you are. This is not a drill.

Stray Synaptic Activity
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/08]

Today's Well, Duh Moment
While listening to boom box News Nitwits, breathlessly, report that the U.S. House passed the highly touted Intelligence Bill, one blithering, intellectual flatliner felt compelled to add: "President Bush is expected to sign the legislation." Well, duh doesn't begin to describe this asinine comment. President Bush is so veto-phobic he'd sign his own death warrant, if Congress passed it.

What A Difference A Re-Election Makes
During the long runup to this year's contentious Oval Office derby, this pagan scribbler got at least one letter a week from the Elephant Clan re-election cabal, pleading for a hefty campaign contribution. "President Bush needs your help", they insisted. "President Bush needs a Republican congressional majority to enact those issues vital to you. Send your life savings, today." That was then...before he romped into a second term, but it's a whole new ball game, now that he no longer needs my greenbacks.

Me: "When are you going to do something about securing our borders, President Bush? Mexifornia is drowning in border-jumping scumbags."

W: "Tell somebody who cares, blue state punk. Go pound sand."

Me: "Why are you planning to raise my taxes by repealing my state and local tax deduction?"

W: "Bite me, blue state punk. I need more money for my red state homeboys and I'm gonna steal it from all those blue state asshats who didn't support me."

Ah yes, W really gives a flaming damn about my issues. As much as this sucks, it could be worse...I might have been stupid enough to send money to this double-dealing, illegal alien coddling asshat.

The Political Shell Game
W's antics during the during the Intelligence Bill tug-of-war belong in a text book on political hack duplicity. The following notions amplify this pagan scribbler contention:

 

W insisted that he supported the House Bill's illegal immigrant restrictions, publically, after he verified, privately, that there was no way in hell to get Senate approval for these items.

W exerted relentless pressure on his Elephant Clan homeboys in the House to accept the Senate's version of the bill, but never did a goddamn thing to pressure his Elephant Clan Senate majority to accept the House's illegal immigrant provisions.

W told the world he'd sign any version of this bill that hit his desk, a classic 'well, duh', since he always signs any legicrap turd that hits his desk with a resounding "splat".

W played fast and loose with the House 'no immigration clause, no bill' Elephant Clan cabal when he promised to attach these clauses to the first 'must pass' bill - probably a spending bill for the military - that came through congress in the next session. W knows damn well that it'll never happen. The Senate will never support these illegal immigrant restrictions and W will pressure his House homeboys to suck it up and pull the immigration reforms, again, and again, and again, until they give up in disgust.

W knows that no future bill will have the must pass pressure that this Intelligence Bill did. If the immigration reforms didn't pass this time, they never will.

W won't budge on his illegal immigrant coddling until the next terrorist attack forces his hand. While the blood is still fresh and outraged Amerikans are howling for his head on a platter, W might finally get real about the mortal danger caused by Amerika's unsecured borders. The blood from the next attack, an attack aided and abetted by W's refusal to secure our borders, is on W's head. That, it seems, will be his lasting Oval Office legacy.

Fiddling While Amerika Burns I - Terrorism
Source: Pagan Scribbler Tantrum [12/07]

W will get his new Intelligence Czar, but he might learn, from bitter experience, that getting what you ask for isn't always a good thing. Why? For starters, this new D.C. cabal will add layers of job for life, government-schooled, affirmative action-hired bureaucrats between our soldiers on the front lines and the intelligence they need to perform their dangerous job. Furthermore, this highly touted Intelligence Bill doesn't do a damn thing to shore up our Achilles' Heel : Amerika's egregiously unprotected borders. On the plus side, when the next terrorist attack hits Amerika, W will have his hand-picked Intelligence Czar on hand to tell him what any rational adult already knows: "Mister President, your refusal to properly secure this nation's borders allowed the terrorists to walk in, unimpeded, get driver's licenses and other documentation, then melt away into the background until the time came for their attack. This Amerikan blood is on your hands."

Unless W fires him for being too real, the new Intelligence Czar could lay several other reality checks on El Presidente Bush:

Fact 1: "Maintaining secure borders is a core function of a properly-constitutional Amerikan government. It's your constitutional duty, Mr. President."

Fact 2: "Meaningful border security is doubly important while we are - as you state, repeatedly - at war with terrorism."

Fact 3: "Osama and his minions understand that our wide-open, unsecured, borders allow an enemy to walk into this nation, at will, and nobody will do a damn thing to stop him."

Fact 4: "Your primary function is not pleasing Mexican President Vicente Fox, Mister President. You took an oath to protect Amerikan citizens and their inalienable liberty."

Thanks to our unsecured borders, Amerika is so terrorist friendly, Osama himself could stroll across the border, and we'd give him a driver's license, taxpayer-funded education for his brats, tax-payer funded medical care, taxpayer funded 'housing assistance', and assorted other taxpayer-funded goodies to make him feel 'welcome'. He might even qualify for W's guest worker program since blowing the ass off Amerikans is a job that 'Amerikans won't do'. Hell, W might even greet him, personally:

 

W: "Welcome to Amerika, Osama. Here's your guest worker card. If there's anything else I can do to make you feel welcome, just say the word, pardner."

Osama: "You can die, Infidel dog!"

W: "I'll need to ask Condi Rice and Dick Cheney about that. Where can I reach you?"

Osama: "Don't worry, Amerika pig. You'll be hearing from me."

W: "Looking forward to it, pardner."

As much as I want to lay all the blame for our wide open borders at W's feet, others must share the blame:
 

The voters who gave W's party a congressional majority, but don't demand secured borders from the hacks they elected.

The congressional hacks, from both parties, whose steadfast refusal to protect Amerika's borders leaves this nation open for another, more deadly terrorist attack.

How many more Amerikans need to die due to our undefended borders before somebody in our so-called government wakes up and smells the, 'secure our goddamn borders now', coffee?

After the next, much deadlier terrorist attack, do we really need a new beltway bureaucrat to tell W, tell Congress, tell Amerika that we did this to ourselves when we didn't secure our borders? No way in hell, Kool-Aid swilling Sparky. This new Intelligence Czar bovine excrement is little more than a new deck chair on the Uncle Sam's open borders Titanic. While Congress quibbles about what color to paint the Intelligence Czar deck chair...While W sits in his office playing the "Mexican Hat Dance" on his fiddle, Osama plots ways to make Amerika burn. Obviously Osama is the only one 'gets it' when it comes to unsecured borders.

Why Obesity is good for Amerika
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/03]

Contrary to Nanny State blithering, an obese, wide-load populace has something for everybody:

NO-NADS should be thrilled because "he" is less likely to objectify a porker.

Educrats should be thrilled because lard ass tykes are, inherently, immune to Dodgeball and Tag's siren songs.

Tree Huggers should be thrilled because bloated, couch-bound, bozos are less likely to "defile" mother nature.

Ethnocrats should be thrilled because "Ribs" are now health food, AND, Oprah can pork up all she wants. Bonus thrill: A slow-moving, wide-load whitey is loaded down to oppress anybody.

Aromatic Peacepunks should be thrilled because, wide-load war mongers are too busy stuffing our pie holes to attack anybody.

GLAAD BAAGs should be thrilled because cross-dressing Sumo wrestler-size dudes in frilly frocks no longer stand out in the crowd.

Capitalist exploiters should be thrilled because Amerika's relentlessly expanding waistline means bigger cars, a new wardrobe every three months, and a Krispy Kreme franchise on ever corner.

Everyone should be happy because, "Do you want fries with that?" makes a killer National motto. It's catchy and easy to remember.

 

2003

Supernaturalism vs Individual Liberty
Source: PIG Commentary

America is a tangible legacy spawned by the enlightenment. When reason took hold in man's intellect, it pushed cross cultism aside, restoring an individual's inherent right to think outside the suffocating, mind-numbing, supernaturalist box. During its painful, battle-scarred birth, America established the enlightenment-inspired principle - inalienable individual liberty - as the solid foundation for this exceptional, reason-based nation, but there exist, in America, powerful forces that seek to tear out America's enlightenment roots and enshrine cross cultism in its 'rightful place'.

From its inception, America came under relentless attack from cross cultists who tried to - once more - shackle man's mind to their pious tyranny. This puts individual liberty in a perpetual struggle with its arch enemy: supernaturalism. Our Founding Fathers' true genius is their ability to predict this intellectual re-enslavement and keep it at bay with our Constitution's overt obeisance to inalienable individual liberty. More than two centuries after our nation's birth, this titanic battle rages unabated. The vital question remains. Is America a nation created of, by and for sovereign individuals? Or, is it a nation created of, by and for slavishly obedient supernaturalist automatons? To find the answer, we must examine our choices in greater detail.

Supernaturalism and individual liberty are, by their very nature, mortal enemies. Supernaturalism is, inherently, authoritarian: the all powerful deity dictates human behavior - in minute detail - via revelation. An adherent's only function is acceptance, obedience. Thinking, understanding, is neither required nor tolerated. Individual liberty, on the other hand is based on man's intellect. His primary right - the right to his own life - requires constant intellectual activity. Reason is the key to a sovereign individual's survival. He must think...He must acquire new knowledge...He must understand nature, must understand reality, then apply reason to his most pressing need: surviving, thriving, through his own efforts.

A sovereign individual succeeds or fails based on the choices he makes. Well reasoned choices succeed or fail depending on how much intellectual power he applies to his choice. This involves endless questioning. Did he consider all the relevant data? Does the project require a voluntary affiliation with another sovereign individual? Has he amassed sufficient resources to support his endeavor? The decisions are endless, vexing and intimidating, but the rewards are considerable.

A supernaturalist exists in a vastly different realm. For him, life, is conducted by divine decree. He has no choice to make save one: obedience, or eternal damnation...obedience or divine retribution...obedience or relentless punishment. Furthermore, he is told, at the outset, that he is - by his very nature - unable to meet his deity's expectations for proper obedience. From the instant he draws that first breath, he is mired in disobedience and nothing he does can change that. For him, there is only failure, a fate he is commanded to accept.

Choosing the supernaturalist option is easier than making the decision to be a self-directed, self-motivated, autonomous individual. That's why the supernaturalist horde (the sanctimonious mob) vastly outnumbers sovereign individuals. Existing as an automaton, a mindless entity coerced into your assigned behavior by crippling fear of divine retribution is taking the easy way out. The rules are clear; the choices are nonexistent, because Old Ka-Boom doesn't ask. He commands! Blind, unthinking obedience is a true believer's only option. It is the path favored by spineless jellyfish and cringing cowards, a life that's utterly loathsome to every sovereign individual.

When cross cultists proclaim that 'America is a Christian Nation' they are telling non-believers that a howling holy roller mob is entitled to dictate which inalienable rights any individual is allowed to exercise. They derive their power by the mob's brute force, a brute force based entirely on their mob's numbers. They base their tyranny on divine revelation, not the intellectual liberty unleashed during the enlightenment. That's why this pious mob is the very antithesis of inalienable liberty. America wasn't founded on a cringing, fear-induced acquiescence to perpetual failure.

America was founded on, by and for sovereign individuals who dare to strive for success. It was founded by individuals who view failure as a learning experience...Individuals who shake off failure, retool, rethink, then try again. America is not shackled to blind, intellectually-stagnant obedience. America is a nation deliberately organized to maximize each sovereign individual's potential. America is not a supernaturalist nation. America is proud to be the enlightenment's shining legacy. Sovereign individuals must never let the howling supernaturalist mob steal the inalienable individual liberty that is our birthright.

The Two-Party Shell Game
Source: PIG Commentary

For starters, I will stipulate - as vast right-wingnut conspirators insist so noisily - that surrendering Amerika to way lefty donkey clan hacks dooms us to socialist, Nanny Government tyranny. For all their yammering, vast right-wingnuts never find time to answer the essential question: How is their celebrated 'compassionate conservatism' any better? No matter which political clan prevails, Amerika ends up in the same liberty suffocating, statist condition, when the political transformation process is completed. Both political clans will regulate the marketplace into oblivion. Both clans enslave the competent - the achievers - to the parasite horde's chronic need. Living in their glittering palaces like feudal lords, Amerika's political hack masters - elephant clan and donkey clan alike - will micro-manage every minute of each enslaved Amerikan's life. The Amerikan Gulag has no room for sovereign individuals, and this is the inevitable result, no matter which clan controls our destiny.

To a rational adult like me, America's two dominant political parties are, in reality, two rival wings of a single political entity: the big government party. Only two - essentially minor - elements separate these rival clans. The first involves the speed at which Amerika turns into a cradle to grave Nanny Government gulag. The donkey clan favors the express lane, repealing individual liberty in humongous legicrap chunks. The elephant clan prefers smaller - stealth - liberty infringements that they wrap in marketplace rhetoric. Both destroy liberty. The primary distinction between these rival political clans, the difference between a quick death by a bullet to the head and a slower death via countless smaller wounds, is lost on this rational adult individual.

The second distinction is slightly more telling. The donkey clan's prime movers are hard core Marxists who view a Nanny Government enslaved Amerika as a leftist Eden. With capitalism destroyed and inalienable liberty's flickering flame snuffed out, the resulting Amerikan Gulag is a Marxist paradise. The elephant clan hacks aren't much better. Marching in lockstep with their compassionate leader, they eagerly sacrifice my individual liberty for momentary, transitory, political gain. In their mindless devotion to political expediency, elephant clan hacks willingly hurl their core convictions - assuming they have any - into the Nanny Government, liberty-incinerating inferno. The donkey clan's Marxist zealots are a menace to my individual liberty, but at least they believe in some-damn - thing. The elephant clan only believes in winning the next election, by any means necessary.

The two political clans don't give sovereign individuals a rational choice. Whether you support the donkey clan's Marxist zealots or side with the elephant clan's political expediency-obsessed whores, your liberty is doomed. Perhaps...just perhaps, it's time for a second Amerikan Revolution - a revolution of ideas, not bullets. We desperately need this twenty-first century revolution to restore our Founding Fathers' original, liberty-intensive, limited government vision, before it's too late.


– Compiled by T.D. Treat

© Copyright 1993-2005 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette


 
 
 

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