Here then, are the sorry-ass boom box facts:

Scanning a big city radio dial sounds like a stroll down the hallways at the U.N. English language programming is, no shit, an endangered species. In addition to a tidal wave of Colonista stations, my radio affliction has numerous, utterly incomprehensible lotus clan outlets. When did America become a third world country?

Musically, radio is pathetic, at best. Real music died the day the best heavy metal station in the known universe went Colonista. Now I'm left with two dominant musical flavors: Colonista, Oldies. Musically-speaking radio turbo [expletive deleted] sucks and that's a no shit fact. The least annoying musical option is a classical music station that makes my prose flow, unlike the more annoying alternatives.

Three formats provide the necessary drive time diversion: All news stations; all sports stations; all talk stations. The first two supply necessary information, but neither is a selection that will tide you over during a long commute. That's why talk radio is the hottest ticket on your radio dial. At present my AM dial has two all news stations,  three all sports stations, a couple lefty lipflapping stations and three vast Right-Wingnut conspirator stations, giving the commuter several listening options.

The lunatic left can't understand why talk radio is so damn popular but you don't need to be a brain surgeon to answer that one. Musically, radio turbo sucks. Since most Americans don't speak Spanish or lotus clan jibber-jabber, that leaves the three viable choices as: news, sports or talk radio. News is fine, for the first 30 minutes, but once you get the headlines, the weather report, the scores and a traffic report, it's time for a change.. Sports can be diverting, but, eventually, you get your fill of that, too. That leaves the vast Right-Wingnut conspirators on talk radio to divert you during your commute or while you putter around the house. Finally, we're prepared to answer our question about talk radio's popularity: It's popular because, given the alternatives, it's the least annoying option. In other words, it's slightly better than nothing.

Better than nothing...but, is nothing a fate worse than death? Truth be told, with a few notable exceptions, vast Right-Wingnut conspirators make me go postal, when taken in doses longer than 15-20 minutes at a time. After a while, it sounds like certain VRWC boom box hosts are repeating the same show, over, and over, and over.  If you've heard one Hannity show, you've heard them all, but he's not the Lone Ranger when it comes to that.

In other ways, it's hard to distinguish one VRWC show from the next.  These vast Right-Wingnuts tend to pile on, spewing virtually identical drivel about the same, loony liberal sin of the moment. I feel their pain, but enough is enough. Can't we simply stipulate that certain lefty assholes - Blithering Bobby Byrd, Messiah Barry, San Fran Nan Pelosi, Dingy Harry Reid, and all their bellowing neo-Marxist cohorts  - are a waste of breathable air and get on with our lives? Is that too much to ask? The answer, sadly, is yes, but, as usual, there's one final option.

Those who can't stand silence will probably call this 'extreme' radio, but I can live with that. When I'm up to here with the pathetic crap oozing from my boom box, I turn the damn thing off. Being a relentlessly-creative pagan, I spin soon-to-be-infamous scribbler rants in my head. I know it sounds extreme, but why not give it a try? Trust me, a silent spell won't end life as you know it.

– Hambo