How about the one where that actress skillfully stuck her foot in her mouth?

Fellow PIG's, the Amerika-hating, Bush-bashing, terrorist-coddling, dictator-deifying din grows louder by the day, and the shrillest screeching comes from Amerika's most pampered group. That's right, we mean those limousine lizards, those fantasy-world fat mouths, Hollywood's liberal in the extreme, lip-flappers. According to these Loony Liberal Lip-Flappers, Amerika is a vile, contemptible nation that never got anything right. Although we condemn their 'Amerika is the great Satan' mantra, we freely admit one unpardonable sin: making cringing, fringe-dwelling, commie cretins like them rich and famous. We're talking about fantasy-world fat-heads who are so far left they call Karl Marx a conservative. We're talking about frivolous featherbrains who are so militantly lefty they never make right turns. Why would anyone take these noisy numbskulls seriously?

Admittedly, PIG noisily affirms Loony Liberal Lip-Flappers' First Amendment right to be bellowing assholes, but nobody is required to listen. It's as simple as consider the source. Would you allow the carwash towel dude, the telemarketer wench, the Jiffy Lube oil can rinser, the fast food fries flogger, the klutzy busboy or that eager to please grocery cart wrangler lecture you on government's proper functions and the best way to preserve our liberty? Hell no, and that's who these Lip-Flappers would be, if not for a stroke of luck that let them strike it rich by making a childhood game - let's pretend - a profession. It's easy to appear profoundly intelligent in their fantasy world, because much smarter - rational - people tell them how to dress, how to move, where to stand and what to say. Sad story, Loony Lip-Flappers, life...reality is a get it right on the first take endeavor, but, as usual we feel your pain.

If these lefty luminaries think they have all the answers, then they need to step up to the plate, quit their lucrative fantasy world existence and run for public office. Let's see how snotty Danny 'Brotha' Glover, Martin 'Dropout' Sheen, George 'Loony' Clooney, and their noisy cohorts feel when they're force to spout their Marxist, Amerika hating shit in the real world, where an audience filled with real Americans can make them pay for their taking a dump on our Constitution. Don't hold your breath for any of them to take the plunge, because they're only flame throwing Amerika haters in Europe, South Amerika or surrounded by a howling, Amerika-hating, Neo-Marxist mob. It's easy to be a revolutionary at a Marxist rally, but how will it play on Main Street? Not very well and that's a fact, but the booing, cat calls and hostility would give them a long overdue reality check.

For those who still don't get it, let's yank an especially annoying Loony Lefty Lip Flapper into bitter reality's bright light. Just for fun, let's get up close and personal with the dolt who calls himself 'Martin Sheen'. Before you endorse the Martin Sheen political philosophy, there are a few things you should remember about him: He's not the President; He's not a Vietnam Era military officer; He's not even 'Martin Sheen'...his given name is Ramon Estevez, a dude who was born and raised in Dayton, Ohio. In case you're willing to trust in his honesty, you might remember that he promised his father that he'd go to college, a lie he covered over by deliberately flunking the college entrance exam. Is this self-hating Amexican someone you'd trust with Amerika's future? In real life, without his fantasy world trappings, Ramon belongs on those infamous Hell-A street corners with his differently-documented compadres looking for some yard work, so he can feed his growing brood. If anyone has Ramon's number - as if anyone on the planet doesn't 'have his number' - tell him I need someone to scrub down my Paganmobile. I'll go as high as five bucks, but for that much, he'll need to wax it, too.

Did you ever wonder why these Hollywood Loony Tunes Lip Flappers employ a brigade-size entourage? If you answered 'ego run wild' that's only the beginning. The reason these limousine lizard lefty lip-flappers need so many 'keepers' is to prevent them from hurting themselves with advanced technology, like the electric toothbrush. Is this who you want advising you on any topic more complex than dental floss? We don't think so. Tragically, deep pockets, relentless pampering, plus full-time flattery have taken a toll, giving these otherwise unremarkable alleged humans a ridiculously exaggerated self-importance. The good news is that their egregiously inflated egos are their Achilles' Heel. There's nothing like a mega flop, terminally hostile reviews, plummeting ratings and empty theater seats to give these dolts a badly needed reality check, a fun fact that puts their career in our hands.

Is PIG advocating a boycott aimed at alleged entertainment perpetrated by Hollywood's loony, loudmouthed, Liberal Lip-Flappers? Not exactly, because your entertainment selections are a personal matter, one that must be determined by each individual entertainment consumer. Speaking for himself, this PIG scribbler admits that 'Hunt For Red October' and the 'Lethal Weapon' movies are among his favorites. That said, he doubts that he'll ever view them with the same enthusiasm, now that he knows the real Alec 'Bellowing Blowhard' Baldwin, the real Danny 'Race Card' Glover. No doubt, each of you will have similar reactions to your 'no longer my favorite' celebrity.

To assist your decision, PIG will eviscerate these Loony Liberal Lip Flappers with their own, Amerika hating spew. PIG will impale them on the never fail, pike of public ridicule. Hold your nose, because the stench wafting up from their bellowed bovine excrement can be overpowering. Gas masks, for this section, rate as don't leave home without it.

For an up-to-the-minute list of PIG's Loudmouth, Left-Wing Lip Flappers, please see SOUNDBITES.

– T.D. Treat