PIG strongly suggests that you arm yourself with your preferred adult beverage before you start your aroma-intensive adventure among PIG's Least Wanted. Don't say we didn't warn you, "hit me with your best shot" Sparky.

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Cretins’ Name: Code Pink
Cretins’ Crime: Giving aid and comfort to our enemies.

If you can stand to listen to Code Puke, you’ll be told that all the world’s problems are Uncle Sam’s fault. Code Puke will explain that Jihadikazes aren’t murdering, liberty-hating, 7th century rat bastards. Code Puke will declare that the Jihadikazes are, in fact, inherently peaceful little fuzz balls. These peace-venerating supernaturalists have been OPPRESSED into DEFENDING THEMSELVES, by an imperialistic Uncle Sam who launched a 21st century crusade against the religion of peace.

If that hasn’t sent you hunting for Old Betsy, you’ll hear the Code Puke scum vilify our brave men and women in uniform as mass murderers, child killers and unrepentant rapists. If you can stand it, you’ll hear our warriors so slandered that they make the Nazis seem like paragons of virtue by comparison.

Code Puke has the constitutional right to shout their America-hating bull crap. Here in the Free State of PIG, we exercise our right to tell these allegedly human butt bullets where to stick it.

America’s Least Wanted? You better believe it, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness Sparky.

Cretin: Keith Oblermann
Cretin’s Crime: Being a skid mark on humanity’s skivvies

Some of you are lucky enough that you never heard of this butt bullet. The rest of us know that Keith Olbermann is the bellowing bloward who perpetrates a cable blight named ‘Countdown’ on the George Soros cable news network (MSNBC). In this incarnation, Keith is a over the cliff Demoncrat venerating neo-Marxist who is, quite simply a legend in his own mind.

In reality, Olbermann is a former sportscaster from the City of Angels. He got delusions of grandeur, when some fool offered him a slot at this speed bump on your television dial. He’s a fool, but he’s the kind of fool who, somehow, manages to thrill the socks off the George Soros Marxists who infest this land conceived in liberty.

We wanted to put this fool where he belongs, on our 15 minutes of fame page, but we’re painfully aware that Olbermann will continue to be a bellowing, cable channel blowhard for the forseeable future. We’re annoyed to admit that "shut up, sit down" has its limitations and Olbermann is a prime example.

[Disclaimer: As far as we know, George Soros has no 'official' affiliation with MSNBC. On the other hand, this cable (alleged) news channel is the most infamous purveyor of Soros America-hating bull crap on your boob tube dial.]

Cretin: Jeffrey M. Leving
Cretin's Offense: He's a turbo shyster scumbag.

Thanks to an alert reader, Cindy M., we found out that this shyster piece of crap is bragging about his role in sending Elian Gonzalez back to the special circle of hell we call Castro's Cuba. His name is Jeffery M. Leving and he bills himself as a Men's Rights Advocate. If we're interpreting his site correctly, he wasn't hired to represent Elian. He horned into the case by filing a Amicus (friend of the court) brief with the INS. Later, he arm twisted Elian's Commie rat bastard father into letting him represent Elian - and by extension - Fidel Castro in Federal Court.

Jeffrey Leving is the kind of shyster crap that prompted PIG to promote our oft-maligned idea that we need a "no limit" shyster hunting season. Armed to the teeth, we would round up Jeffrey and as many other cretins of that ilk as we could find, then turn them loose in a confined area. After giving them a 5 minute head start, armed and dangerous rational adults - the PIG Staff, PIGsters, and assorted others - would start turning law-degreed rat bastards into worm chow.

Helping condemn Elian to that living, Cuban hell is bad enough, and bragging about it is worse. But, trying to cash in on this crime against liberty is intolerable. It's a damn shame we can't force Jeffrey to go live in Cuba so he can share the kid's cruel fate. Life is so imperfect that way.

Cretins: Mexifornia's Marxist Meatheads
Cretins' Offenses: Too many to innumerate

The no longer "Golden" State is suffocating thanks to a bumper crop of capitalism hating, Nanny State on steroids promoting peabrains like Jackie "Thar She Blows" Goldberg, Sheila "Butch" Kuel, Gil "Colonista Punk" Cedillio, "Slick" Willie Brown, Mario "MALDEF" Obledo, and Maxine "No Justice No Peace" Waters. For two-fisted spending, liberty infringement, influence peddling, creating a terminally hostile business environment, and ramming Cultural Marxism down the throats of the state's rational adults, the aforementioned cretins - and all their neo-Marxist, Donkey Clan cohorts - are in a class by themselves.

If you're interested in making Mexifornia "Golden" again, the first step involves rounding up Mexifornia's Marxist Meatheads and dumping them in the middle of the Kilauea lava flows. Ouch, sizzle, oblivion. Bold new concept.

Cretins: Certain Well-Known Ethnocrats
Cretins' Offense: Relentless racial extortion

When it comes to race card wrangling, detecting racism whenever some Melanin-Enriched individual gets a hangnail, and extorting "donations" from deep-pocketed capitalists- the Mafia called this "the protection racket" - nobody does it as relentlessly as Je$$e Jackson, Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Julian Bond. There are numerous others - the Congressional Black Caucus comes to mind - but these four are, by far, the most egregious offenders.

At best, their contribution to racial harmony is limited to mugging for any live news camera, blaming all of life's mundane mishaps on racist plots, and detecting the Great White Bigot whenever the universe fails to distribute talent, wealth, and intelligence in precise, census-sanctified proportions. Thanks, but no thanks, Ethnocrat whiners...We'd be much better off without you.

Cretin's Name: Michael 'The Maggot' Moore
Cretin's Offense: His mere existence is intolerable in the extreme

Our unremitting abhorrence for this clamoring cretin cannot be quantified. To put it bluntly, PIG objects, strenuously, to sharing this planet with Michael "The Maggot" Moore. Getting rid of this bellowing blight isn't rocket science:

Why doesn't Old Ka-Boom smite this bloated blowhard? How hard can it be to nail a dude as gigantic and aromatic as The Maggot?

Why can't we 'arrange' for some terminally bored little green men to abduct this insipid ignoramus? If carving up bovines thrills them spitless, imagine the countless hours of fun they could have hacking away at The Maggot?

Why can't the Tree Huggers stop watching squirrels doing the nasty long enough to realize that kicking a bio-hazard as humongous as the Maggot off the planet could stop Global Warming dead in its tracks? Where are they when Mother Earth really needs them?

Why must we endure this putrid pinhead's presence one instant longer? PIG demands some answers, right damn now!

For all that this bearded behemoth has done in the past...For all that he's destined to inflict on us in the future, PIG inducts Michael The Maggot Moore into Amerika's Least Wanted.

Cretin's Name: Rob Reiner
Cretin's Offense: Neo-Marxist Class Warrior With Delusion of Tyrannical Grandeur

What bloated, beared, Marxist, alleged film director is trying to inflict his class warrior bovine excrement on sovereign individuals, again? If you answered 'Michael Moore', you're close, but slightly off the mark. The bloated Marxist asshat in question is Mexifornia's aspiring governor, Robin "Meathead" Reinerhood (A.K.A Rob Reiner). This time out, he's playing class warrior bingo with a new ballot initiative that would tax "the rich" to pay for more, tax-funded government cess-school crap-o-la.

'...[Robin Reinerhood's soak the 'rich' scheme would, allegedly, fund] a voluntary half-day program that would be administered by the state superintendent of public instruction, fund both private and public programs and begin first serving some of the state's most impoverished neighborhoods. Backers estimated it will eventually bring 10,000 new teachers and 10,000 aides into a state that ranks 37th nationally in the per capita number of 4-year-olds in preschool...' (Sacramento Bee)

Reinerhood needs to shut the hell up and sit his bloated ass down, right goddamn now, because he's tragically delusional if he thinks another year of government cess-school indoctrination will do one damn thing to change Mexifornia's prevailing, Idiots With Self Esteem Educrap system. Reinerhood knows this class warfare crap won't do a damn thing for Mexifornia tykes, but he's not doing this for them, he's trying to score points with the state's terminally lefty electorate.

This class warfare bovine excrement is just the opening salvo in Reinerhood's campaign to turn egregiously Socialist Mexifornia into unremittingly Marxist Mexifornia when he's crowned Mexifornia's tyrant for life...I mean Governor. Electing Reinerhood would drive the last nail in Mexifornia's coffin, condemning the state's denizen's to abject, unremitting, Marxist tyranny and economic chaos. "Just shoot me", sums up this pagan scribbler's attitude about a Governor Reinerhood.

"Meathead" is more than a name; it's a apt description for this bloated, Marxist, blowhard. That's why he earned his spot on PIG's infamous Amerika's Least Wanted roster.

Cretin's Name: Scott Ritter
Cretin's Offense: Giving aid and comfort to Amerika's enemies.

Former U.N. Weapon's inspector, Amerika-hating scumbag Scott Ritter, crawled out from under his rock to hurl more groundless accusations at Uncle Sam in general and the Bush administration in particular. It shouldn't shock anybody to learn that this ambulatory, allegedly-human, bowel movement is now working for those paragons of international journalistic integrity, Al-Jazeera.

Determined to earn the blood money his terrorist-coddling bosses bestow on him, Ritter dished up a double dose of his familiar bovine excrement with his latest steaming load. First, and foremost, he claims that although the Shia majority won 60% of the vote, Bush aided and abetted Iraq'a Interim Prime Minister, Allawi's, vote rigging to deny the Shia voters their control over the new Iraqi government:

'..."Suddenly there's a government-ordered lockdown of the votes, while there is a secret recount - not a public recount - this wasn't Florida where you had people checking chads - this was a secret recount where American troops were escorting ballot boxes into undisclosed locations to be counted by [interim Prime Minister] Allawi's government." Ritter told [WWRL Radio's Steve] Malzberg that the secret recount dramatically changed the political landscape, with the Shia vote dropping to 48 percent and Allawi's government picking up nearly 10 points of support, from 4 percent to 13 percent...' (News Max)

Far from finished, Ritter launched this groundless accusation:

"In October of 2004 the president reviewed the Pentagon's plans for military operations against Iran in June 2005 and he signed off on them." (News Max)

PIG is tempted to call this walking bowel movement a 'traitor', but even that's too good for him. PIG suggests that the next time this cretin crawls out from under his rock, we treat him like all the other turds and flush him.

Cretin's Name: Doug "The Slug" Wead
Cretin's Offense: Secretly taped conversations with his "friend" George W. Bush

Unless you just emerged from a coma, returned from a visit to Osama's cave, or managed to, finally, escape from the little green men who abducted you, you're up to speed on a cretin named Doug Wead and his secret taping of conversations he conducted with President George W. Bush from 1998 to 2000. Initially, when the excrement hit the proverbial fan, Doug the Slug tried to hide behind 'documenting a historical figure' bovine excrement to explain why he allowed the New York Times to hear - then publicize - certain selected, private, conversations. Throughout this phase, Doug the Slug insisted that his antics had nothing to do with a new tome he's trying to peddle...Yeah, right, now tell me the one about the Easter Bunny, shit-for-brains.

Doug the Slug's lame excuses didn't cut it with outraged - and who can blame them - vast right-wing conspirators, so he's trying to salvage his sorry butt by canceling his book promotion appearances, donating any/all future proceeds from his tome to charity and turning over the highly publicized tapes to President Bush. Regrettably, we may never learn what prompted Doug the Slug to "do the right thing", but you can bet the proverbial agricultural endeavor that it got very, very damn hot in the Slug's kitchen.

This pagan scribbler has -rightly and wrongly - been pelted with the celebrated "slings and arrows" for his antics, too many times to count. Be that as it may, this pagan scribbler would never do what Doug the Slug did to anybody: friend, acquaintance, enemy, or stranger. No excuse justifies secretly taping somebody, then releasing those tapes without notifying your 'victim' ahead of time.

Although I am far from the President's biggest fan, he damn sure deserves better than this Doug the Slug crap-o-la. Whatever W and his enraged minions do to him, Doug the Slug has coming. Color this PIG scribbler disgusted, in the extreme, with Doug the Slug's antics.