ENSHRINEMENTS
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HONORABLE
MENTIONS
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PIG
recognizes incorrectness at every level. The following have
distinguished themselves and have made their way onto the
pages of PIG in their own way.
Not quite, or not yet elevated to Hall of Fame status, PIG
feels as if these individuals are worthy of mention in PIG's
hallowed Hall.
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PIG's
Hall of Fame salutes those individuals whose actions or words
significantly enhanced
our inalienable individual liberty. This group includes those
pioneering individuals who provided liberty-loving individuals
the vital tools needed to defend their freedom from those who
seek to trample it into submission.
CHRISTOPHER
COLUMBUS / AMERIGO VESPUCCI
Two
dudes who got 'severely lost' and accidentally bumped into the new
world.
THOMAS
PAINE
His
stellar prose gave American Patriots the courage to continue their
struggle for liberty during the American Revolution's darkest hours.
THOMAS
JEFFERSON
Brought
a clear, compelling vision for individual liberty to life with his
timeless call to arms:
The Declaration of Independence
RONALD
REAGAN
The
PIG staff likes Ron...Always have, always will. No apologies, explanations
or excuses will be offered. He's in, period.
MARTIN
LUTHER KING
If
you don't understand this warrior for racial justice's contribution
to individual liberty, there's no hope for you. Unlike the Ethnocrats
that work tirelessly to dismantle his life's work, Reverend King
understood the salient fact that we are individuals, not randomly
assigned immutable traits.
JACK KILBY
"Jack Kilby" isn't a household name, but this Nobel laureate is the primary reason that your trusty P.C. isn't the size of the Goodyear blimp. Mister Kilby's contribution to our liberty can't be overstated, because, without his invention all the vital information we need wouldn't be a close as our computer, cell phone or PDA. And how, you ask, did one man accomplish all this? Jack Kilby did all this and much more when he invented the microchip that is the basic building block for all our high tech tools and toys. Jack Kilby made an essential contribution to our liberty. He created that first, vital, layer of the Information superhighway.
RUSH
LIMBAUGH
Gave individuals from all political
persuasions a robust forum on which to air their views when he made
talk radio a fixture in Amerikan culture. No matter what you think
of Rush's political philosophy, he belongs here because he invigorated
this nation's political debate by adding new voices (millions of
them) to the political discussion.
TIMOTHY
BERNERS-LEE
A Brit physicist and computer scientist who developed the World
Wide Web, paving the way for our 21st Century Information Revolution
that puts so much vital information at each individual's fingertips.
Armed with a world crammed with information resources, sovereign
individuals are ready and able to battle the tyrannical forces
fostering ignorance.
(A well deserved assist goes to Marc Andreessen, who founded
Netscape Communications, a company that simplified the World Wide
Web for the novice user with his legendary Web Browser. Thanks to
Netscape, the information you need to make an informed decision
is only a mouse-click away.)
SAM
ADAMS & JOHN HANCOCK
Orchestrated
the Boston Tea Party. Two shysters who had trouble dealing with
authority figures (King George).
JACKIE
ROBINSON via BRACH RICKEY
This
Robinson dude is cool, but the man who deserves the credit is the
guy who broke the prevailing rules and hired him.
GALILEO
GALILEI
A
career asshat who dared to prove that the prevailing, Holy Roller-correct
Earth as the center of the universe cosmology was God Squad bovine
excrement.
WILLIAM
SHAKEPEARE
His
timeless prose has inspired us for centuries and will continue to
do so, unless the multiculturalists succeed in having his works
banned from sea to shining sea.
HUGH
HEFNER
Created
the first, high class wanker magazine, a publication that continues
to deliver stellar booty to your mailbox, every damn month.
AL
BUNDY
A
fictional character who made every married dude in Amerika understand
that things could be much, much worse. Al, single-handedly, managed
to outrage pious pinheads and the NO-NAD's. It don't get much better
than that!
MARK
TWAIN
Twain gets a heartfelt nod
from PIG for managing to piss off just about everybody. The leftists
seek to ban his stellar tome, 'Huckleberry Finn', because it contains
the infamous 'N' word. Vast Right-Wingnuts seek to ban his stellar
tome, 'Letters From Earth', because it reveals Holy Roller supernaturalism's
utter irrationality.
GEORGE
ORWELL
If
you only read one book this year, make it 'Animal Farm' by George
Orwell. Half a century ago, this brilliant writer described the
group-think hell into which Amerika has fallen. If you want to understand
the Amerikan Nanny State and its inevitable culmination, read 'Animal
Farm'.
BARRY GOLDWATER
A man of unshakeable convictions, Barry Goldwater dared to swim against the political tide. He was routinely pummeled by the big government loving asshats inside the D. C. Beltway, but it never made him back down. Before Ronald Reagan, before Rush Limbaugh, before Ron Paul, there was a man of courage, a man of conviction, a man who dared to shout the truth when a hurricane of statist bloviating tried to silence him. If you venerate a small, constitutionally-correct, liberty-maximizing government, you need to give homage to Barry Goldwater, the man who kept these ideals alive during some of liberty’s darkest hours.
HOMER
JAY SIMPSON
PIG
salutes Homer for his soaring eloquence. Armed with one simple expression,
Homer provides thought-provoking commentary on virtually everything.
For PIG "D'oh" sums it up perfectly.
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