'Scooter' Farnsworth III Grand Gringo
Zachary Taylor Cadre
American-Mexican Liberation Front
from the Revolution:
The struggle for American-Mexican equality continues. My determination
to install American-Mexicans in their rightful place in Mexican
society is undiminished by our recent setbacks. Lest you get discouraged,
I'm thrilled to report that our occupation of the University President's
office - during our recent campaign for an American-Mexican Studies
Department - gained us badly needed publicity. Well, let me say
that we think we were mentioned. The ongoing Mexican obsession with
Spanish, a language none of the Cadre speaks or reads - as a matter
of principle - makes it a bit challenging to be certain. As of this
writing, our demands that the Mexican government mandate English
Language versions of all their official paperwork remain unaddressed.
This shocking lack of consideration for American-Mexican sensitivities
must stop! This scandalous refusal to honor American-Mexican culture
shall not go unchallenged.
monolithic culture must be liberated from its antiquated roots
so it can embrace American-Mexicans, French-Mexicans, and Native Mexicans. Mexico must be compelled to embrace all the groups that have contributed so greatly to Mexico throughout
its colorful history. Why are we all forced to speak Spanish? Why won't Mexico honor the many non-Spanish cultures by providing us, our children,
with schooling in our native language? Why is Roman Catholicism
the dominant religion, the official State religion? Why is Mexican
History so determined to slander American-Mexicans and French-Mexicans
in particular? Our beloved Zachary Taylor's liberation of Mexico
City, General Pershing's valiant attempt to rectify the dreadful
Poncho Villa situation, and especially that whole disagreeable business
where the American-Mexicans liberated Texas from that terrorist
thug, Santa Ana, are treated with unbelievable scorn, abuse and
outright vilification in Mexican History texts. Our French-Mexican
brothers and sisters in this revolutionary struggle are egregiously
slandered by Spanish-Mexican xenophobes. Mexico's so-called historians
deliberately paint the tragic Emperor Maximillian affair in the
worst possible light.
this time, we're working on an American-Mexican Manifesto, a statement
of nonnegotiable principles if you will, which we plan to deliver
to the Mexican President, in person, when we occupy his offices.
Among other things, our Manifesto includes the following items:
Spanish must be abolished as the official language of Mexico.
Bilingual education must be implemented to allow all minority cultures,
such as American-Mexicans, to be taught in their native language.
Minority Studies Departments must be established at all Mexican
Universities to enrich, enlighten, all students, especially Spanish-Mexicans
by instructing them about minority cultures, with a special emphasis
on American-Mexican culture.
Negative stereotypes about minority cultures - particularly American-Mexican
culture - stereotypes perpetrated throughout the dominant Spanish-Mexican
culture in school curricula, history texts, official records, etc.,
must be abolished and replaced by minority sanctioned 'corrections'.
The Mexican Federal Government must institute a program to correct
the outrageous imbalance in employment and University admissions
so they will match a specific minority's percentage of the population.
American-Mexicans are shockingly underrepresented in Mexican Government
which is dominated by the oppressive Spanish-Mexican clique.
Mexico must move forward in the 21st century by shaking off their
oppressive Spanish-Mexican culture and embrace the diversity offered
by American-Mexicans, French-Mexicans and all the other cultures
that have taken root on Mexican soil.
task is a large one, but we are determined to liberate Mexico from
Spanish-Mexican oppression. I close with our battle cry, noble words
from our first American-Mexican martyr, Jason 'Skipper' Bradshaw
II, a freedom fighter who lost his life as he streaked across the
Mexico City bullring carrying the American-Mexican red banner of
liberation: 'Holy Shit! Down, bully, bully. Down, bully, bully.'
you for your unwavering support of our heroic struggle
'Scooter' Farnsworth III
The Spanish-Mexican storm troopers stole the hood ornament off the
Rolls again. Could you order another one for me, dad?