The PIG staff shot Hambo full of tranquilizers so we could make the Hambo pages more user friendly. Our primary complaint - one that fell on deaf Hambo ears - was that Hambo's Hammer is much too busy and that his weekly meltdown needed its own page. Making that long overdue change will give our devoted PIGsters a much better reading experience since the things that change regularly - his shorter tantrums - will be at the top of the page where it's easier to identify and find them.

At the top of this page, you'll find Hambo's latest long-winded meltdown. Also, to thrill the socks off you, we dusted off several of Hambo's best meltdowns and put them in a section we call "Classic Hambo Meltdowns". You'll find them immediately after his latest meltdown.

Hopefully, this upgrade of the Hambo pages will encourage you to visit Hambo's Hammer more often. If you promise to do that, we promise to goad Hambo into sounding off, on something, every day.


For once, we understand how this one reached critical mass. In fact, we even understand why, our insane editor wrote this. Since we won’t tell ‘inside the PIG Bunker’ tales out of school, we’ll let you piece that together for yourself.

We would, however, appreciate a little sympathy from our devoted PIGsters. You have no idea how terrified we all were when we realized that we had tapped into Hambo’s fevered brain. Be afraid, PIGsters. Be very afraid.

Enjoy this Hambo rant, it’s one of his good ones.


It's no accident that our inalienable birthright of Free Speech is enshrined in the 1st Amendment of the U. S. Constitution. Its primary purpose is to remind the Nanny State to back the hell off when it comes to our Free Speech. A secondary purpose, probably an unintentional one, is to remind each and every one of us that Free Speech involves other sovereign individuals who can, and will, say things that we don't want to hear. Unhappily, neither of these lofty purposes has been achieved.

From the dawn of time, humans have been trying snuff out speech that they didn't want to hear. Each of us is afflicted with this utterly human malady. We want our voice to be heard, without restriction, but few of us have the stones to tolerate an opposing point of view. The Free State of PIG calls this phenomenon the 'Sounds of Silence'.

The Sounds of Silence have a long, sorry history. For example, when Ugh the Apeman started to feel frisky and went searching for female companionship, he would, invariably, have his trusty club resting on his shoulder. Why? When he meet a suitable playmate, the last thing he wanted to hear from Cuddles the Cave Cutie is 'Not tonight, Ugh, I've got a headache'. A little love tap from his club resolved the pesky issue by imposing the sweet Sounds of Silence.

Not much has changed since Ugh and Cuddles' time, and humans continue to do everything in their power to snuff out speech they don't want to hear. They prefer the Sounds of Silence, because they can't handle speech that makes them defend their views, makes them listen to an unfiltered dose of objective reality. These self-appointed censors, invariably, use the government's monopoly on the use of force, to impose their preferred Sounds of Silence.

* Over the centuries, supernaturalists - from every sect - imposed the Sounds of Silence with blasphemy laws criminalizing 'religious' speech they didn't want to hear. We regret to report that such laws persist, to this very day, in parts of Europe, and in most Jihadikaze infested nations.

* Over the centuries, tyrannical regimes imposed the Sounds of Silence by making it a "shut up or we'll kill you" class crime to criticize the current regime. That, too, persists in certain notorious liberty-nuking blights on our globe.

* When it comes to censorship, when it comes to imposing the Sounds of Silence, America's true believers have a long, ignoble history. During the earliest phases of America's Colonial era, supernaturalist enclaves were imposing the Sounds of Silence on anyone who didn't spout the 'party line'. The differently-religious, along with true believers from the WRONG Cross Cult sect, got the Sounds of Silence bum's rush right out of town. Those who refused to comply were taught the errors of their ways.

The Sounds of Silence's infamous history was one of the reasons that America's Founding Fathers did their best to protect our Free Speech birthright from a government-imposed Sounds of Silence. Unfortunately, human nature won't be denied and our 'shut the hell up' instincts seem to be winning this two centuries old battle to impose the Sounds of Silence from sea to shining sea.

Despite the 1st Amendment's protection of Free Speech, sovereign American individuals, on both sides of the political spectrum, do their utmost to silence speech they don't want to hear. Technically, the 1st Amendment is still the law of the land. Technically, it continues to tell the government to 'back off'. Technically, it continues to warn sovereign individuals to 'get over it', when it comes to hearing things they don't like. Technically, but 21st century reality tells a different story.

* This month, with all that icky financial stuff 'resolved', the fools on the Hill (U.S. Congress) banished the word 'Lunatic' from all official federal documents. 'Lunatic' follows in the footsteps of the so-called R-Word (Retarded) which got the bum's rush in 2010. Retarded has been banished - or is in the process of being ousted - in 45 of Barry's 57 states. If 'Lunatic' stays on the trail blazed by retarded, it, too, will be affixed with a 'hate speech' label by the usual 'activist' suspects.

* The most popular muzzle employed by the Ethnocrats involves branding seemingly innocuous words as racist. A few years ago, an Ethnocrat in Congress vilified 'tax cut' and 'budget cut' as 'racist Republican code words'. 'Founding Fathers', 'States Rights', Limited Government, the 'Declaration of Independence', all references to the TEA Party, Individualism, and support of a meritocracy are also deemed to be racist to the core.

* In 2003, a Los Angeles Lunatic took the Sounds of Silence into the Twilight Zone when it spewed Retarded drivel about the technical term 'slave drive' (a secondary hard disk drive which is subordinate to another hard drive in a computer) being - TA DA - racist:

Los Angeles officials have asked that manufacturers, suppliers and contractors stop using the terms "master" and "slave" on computer equipment, saying such terms are unacceptable and offensive. The request -- which has some suppliers furious and others busy re-labeling components -- came after an unidentified worker spotted a videotape machine carrying devices labeled "master" and "slave" and filed a discrimination complaint with the county's Office of Affirmative Action Compliance. (CNN)

* As fun as that sounds, recently, the word games went off the scale, when two fools on the Hill spouted this drivel:

Congresswoman Marcia Fudge, the leader of the Congressional Black Caucus and Chairwoman of the House Subcommittee on 40 Acres, an Obamaphone and a Mule denounced any attacks on Rice as "horridly and unspeakably racist."

While Fudge could not point to any single word that was racist, she insisted that every single word used to criticize Rice was a racist code word.

"If the language is being used to criticize a black person then we must deem such language to be irreparably and irrevocably racist," Fudge said. "Every word that is used to disguise the racist intentions of a racist political movement must be deemed a racist code word disguising the true racist intentions of the racists who make use of them."

Congressman Jim Clyburn went even further. "The entire English language was created by slaveowners as a means of oppression. You can't just say that one word is a racist code word or another. The whole language, every single word, letter and apostrophe in it is racist. It's a fact. If you speak English, you're a racist."

"All Republicans is racist," Congressman Clyburn said, "therefore whenever they use English, they are using it to hiddenly express racist ideas. Whenever they speak, they are speaking entirely in racist code words. But when Democrats like us speak English, we're using tolerance code words." (Front Page)

[We the PIGs are puzzled by an apparent contradiction. First Clyburn says that English is unfailingly 'racist', so anyone who speaks it is therefore a racist. Then Clyburn insists that despite every element of English being racists "...when Democrats like us speak English, we're using tolerance code words." Yeah right. You're a Lunatic, Clyburn and your comments are Retarded.]

* The Demoncrats imposed the Sounds of Silence on debates during the Oval Office Derby by refusing to appear at any debates hosted by Fox News. That 'liberated' them from listening to, from answering, any hard, challenging, questions that could expose their views to the chad-punching public.

* When it comes to the Sounds of Silence, Messiah Barry is without peer. In a daring, preemptive, strike, he took numerous items off the table. These include, but are not limited to: his supernaturalism, his middle name, his rogues gallery of friends and associates, his inexperience, his blatantly Marxist platform, his unrelenting flip-flopping, and his unsuitability for that Oval Office job. He snuffed out any comments on these, and other matters, with a Sounds of Silence weapon of mass destruction: the race card.

* The Elephant Clan is equally adept at imposing the Sounds of Silence. They, too, favor the preemptive strike and it's almost as good as Messiah Barry's race card. Determined to snuff out any free speech that exposes their sorry, government expanding, liberty nuking, antics, the Elephant Clan's Sounds of Silence trump card is their venerable mantra: We know that we really, really suck, BUT, the Demoncrats still suck more.

* Until President Reagan eradicated it, the Sounds of Silence were very successful in snuffing out political speech on radio and television with the 'Fairness Doctrine'. In the name of promoting Free Speech, this Draconian Nanny State stinker chased it off the 'public' airwaves. The instant the Sounds of Silence were dropped like a bad habit, talk radio exploded onto the scene, generating the robust political debate that the Fairness Doctrine promised, but never delivered.

The leftwing loons did their best to make this 'robust, wide-open political debate' work for them, but their primary success is on certain boob tube networks that were already dominated by lefties. The problem, as they soon found out, is that relentless liberal whining isn't viable in the marketplace. Whenever we the people are given a choice, we dump the liberal offering like a bad habit. That's why, due to the outcome of the 2012 election, this stinker could be disinterred, re-animated and used to restore the Sounds of Silence on the 'public' airwaves. If the libs can't make us listen, the next best thing is to use the Sounds of Silence to eliminate what rational adults want to hear.

* Juan 'Do You Want Salsa With That Citizenship, Chico' McCain succeeded in putting a muzzle on political speech, because Free Speech gives incumbent Elected Tormentors a boo-boo. His Campaign Finance Reform imposed the Sounds of Silence during the critical phase of any election cycle, by criminalizing the Free Speech of sovereign, chad-punching individuals.

* The neo-Marxist Eggheads, who dominate America's Ivory Towers, began imposing the Sounds of Silence, decades ago, with campus speech codes. Now, in the 21st century, roving gangs of Korrectniks intimidate any rational adult, who strays onto a college campus, into surrendering their Free Speech birthright. The vaunted 'free exchange of ideas' has been unceremoniously evicted from the campus, by these cultural Marxists.

A few weeks ago, Fordham University made Sounds of Silence headlines, by nuking a scheduled on campus appearance by Ann Coulter.

* Mecca Maniacs have reset the Sounds of Silence bar to dizzying heights. Their zeal, in this regard, is off the charts. If you dare to exercise your free speech birthright about their prophet, their supernaturalism, their deity, or simply make them feel bad, THEY WILL KILL YOU. In their special circle of hell, free speech is a synonym for "death sentence".

* America's properly hyphenated horde has whined its way around the 1st Amendment and prodded the Nanny State into criminalizing any speech that gives them a rash. It's called 'hate speech' and it's so loosely defined that it applies to any speech they don't want to hear. The Sounds of Silence are the law of the land, in this land conceived in liberty.

* Elements of the Vast Right-Wingnut Conspiracy have - in the name 'of the children' worked tirelessly to impose the Sounds of Silence on entertainment fare. Because some breeders can't, or won't, properly supervise their tykes, the Nanny State imposed Sounds of Silence which, systematically, deny sovereign individuals adult-themed content. Anything more daring than a test pattern is too 'edgy' for the boob tube. Any movie DVD that is aimed at an individual older than 5 can't be sold in the local outpost of capitalism, because - GASP - a child might get his mitts on it. Music albums that contain adult lyrics must be exiled, affixed with warning labels, and, wherever possible, removed from a store because some tyke might find it.

Too many alleged adults are hooked on the Sounds of Silence. Too many alleged adults take the easy way out by snuffing out speech that they can't handle, or just plain don't like. Too many alleged adults seem to forget that the Sounds of Silence are the quiet that proceeds the thunder of jackboots goose-stepping over our liberty. It's time to flush the Sounds of Silence. It's time to grow a pair and confront that exercise in Free Speech that gets on your last raw nerve. It's time for each and every one of us to restore Free Speech - as the Founding Fathers intended it - to its rightful place in this land of the not as free as we're supposed to be.

From time to time this stun gun crazed lunatic fires off a memorable rant. We decided to preserve the best of them, here, for your reading pleasure. Don't blame us if it turns you into a ticking, enraged sovereign individual time bomb.

According to the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution, "We the People" were the ones who dictated the strict limits under which our government must operate. I am here to assure you that I am very clear on this point, but for those who need a primer on government, here is a passage from Thomas Jefferson's Declaration of Independence:

'...Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government...'

Every time I visit an Internet news site...Every time I listen to the boom box, or watch the boob tube, or endure my local fishwrap, I wonder if anyone in government gives a damn that "We the People" are up to here with their Nanny State on steroids antics. The answer, regrettably, is that they don't give a damn what "We the People" think, as long as a majority punches a chad for them in the next election cycle.

"We the people" made this Nanny State hell when we started nagging government to intrude in areas of "We the People's" lives that are strictly off limits, based on the clearly defined tasks government is allowed to perform, according to the Constitution.

Neither "We the People" nor the Nanny State hacks have the right to poke their noses into the bedrooms of consenting adults.

Neither "We the People" nor the Nanny State hacks have the right to tell a business owner whom to hire, what benefits to give and what customers to serve.

Neither "We the People" nor the Nanny State hacks have the right to grant certain individuals special alleged "rights" based on the person's immutable traits.

"We the People" had our heads up our butts when we gave the Nanny State a green light to indoctrinate our children via a universal, compulsory, government cess-school Educrap scheme.

"We the People" opened Pandora's Box when we allowed the Nanny State to nationalize the airwaves and dictate, in great specificity, programming content.

"We the People" sealed our own fate when we allowed the Nanny State to punish achievement and impose social engineering via the graduated income tax.

What the hell were "We the People" thinking when we allowed the Nanny State to tell sovereign individuals where and how they can use a legal product like tobacco?

"We the People" need to tell the Nanny State hacks to stop paying farmers for crops they don't grow, to stop paying for "bridges to nowhere" because it looks good in a photo op back in 'the district', and to stop wasting taxpayer dollars on border jumping scumbags' education, health, and assorted other freebees.

"We the People" need to grab the Nanny State hacks by the scruff of the neck and order them to stop the border jumping scumbag tide by imposing meaningful, "don't even think about it Colonista Sparky", border security.

The time has come for "We the people" to tell the Nanny State to knock it the hell off. It's time for "We the People" to take back our government and make our elected tormentors perform those duties - and only those clearly defined duties - that are set forth in the U.S. Constitution. It's time for "We the People" to remind these professional political hacks that "We the People" are calling the tune and if they value that cushy job they damn sure better start dancing to the tune "We the People" are playing. It's time for "We the People" to stand up and bellow "Enough is enough!"

Life, for a rational adult, really starts to suck whenever he, she, heshe or it butts heads with his differently rational peers. In fact, political correctness is a direct, utterly predictable consequence of these collisions between rational and differently-rational individuals. You'd think that rational adults would be up to speed on this concept, because the world has worked this way since some stone age intellectual flat-liner burned his fingers in the cooking fire after a rational stone age adult told him not to touch the flames. Am I up to speed on this rational adult suckage? More or less, but it's still very damn annoying.

For your edification, here are some examples of this venerable concept in action:

When everyone insisted that "the world is flat", some rational adult observed reality through unclouded eyes and announced: "You're wrong about the Earth being flat and here's why". He was right. A was still A, even then, but the flat Earth pinheads probably killed him anyway. It sucked being a rational adult in an irrational flat Earth world.

When the Pope, the church and all of Christendom declared that the Earth is the center of the universe, a rational adult named Galileo observed reality and came to a different conclusion. After watching the moons circling Jupiter through a telescope and studying Venus, he told the whole world about his findings in a prescient tome called ‘The Dialogues’. He was right. A was still A, but the Inquisition terrorized him into recanting his findings, jailed him for the rest his life and banned all his writings for the next two centuries anyway. It sucked being a rational adult in an irrational Christian world.

When Islamikaze cretins flew planes into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, rational adults chided the president that this isn't a war against some amorphous, disembodied entity called 'terrorism'. "World domination, by force if necessary, is a core Tenet of Islam.", they warned. They're right. A is still A, but Uncle Sam still dances to CAIR's tune and refuses to profile the most likely terrorists: young, Middle Eastern men. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational Islamikaze world.

When Uncle Sam steadfastly refused to do his sworn duty to protect our nation from border jumping scumbag invaders, some rational adults assessed the situation and decided to do what needed to be done. Forming the Minuteman Defense Corps, they brought border jumping to a standstill on the border section they patrolled, telling Uncle Sam, "See, this is how you can stop this invasion." They're right. A is still A, but the political punks keep coddling border jumping scumbags and the Colonistas slander Chris Simcox with the invective "racist" anyway. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational Colonista plagued world.

When the true believers disguised Creationism with wig, a beard and a lab coat, called it Intelligent Design then sold it to government cess-schools as a valid scientific concept that belongs in a science classroom, rational science degreed adults didn't buy it for a second. "Intelligent Design/Creationism isn't science and it never will be," they declared and they're right. A is still A, but the alleged scientists who shill for I.D. don't want to talk about that and the Educrats who give it their okey dokey don't want to hear about it. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational Creationist world.

When the Elephant Clan started acting like the Donkey Clan with two-fisted spending on bridges to nowhere...When the Elephant Clan started acting like Donkey Clan socialists with the budget busting Medicrap prescription benefit, some rational adult asked why parasites would keep supporting Nanny State lite when the real thing was as easy as punching that chad for the Donkey Clan. The rational adult was right. A is still A and the parasites dumped the Elephant Clan like a bad habit. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational, bloated Nanny State world.

When Uncle Sam spends billions, trillions, more dollars than he's got, rational adults warn that it's a mistake because, sooner or later, that debt will come due. They're right. A is still A, but the big spending hacks don't want to talk about it and the Kool-Aid drinking VRWC apologists insist that a whopping debt run up by the Elephant Clan is okey dokey because, as out of control as the debt is, it's "an acceptable fraction" of Amerika's GNP. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational deficit spending world.

When some people get more money back from the IRS than Uncle Sam took from them, rational adults indict this tax return largesse as wealth redistribution with the IRS doing the welfare state's dirty work. They're right. A is still A, but the wealth redistribution "winners" don't care where the boodle comes from, as long as they get their cut. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational wealth redistribution world.

When multicultural meatheads blither that all cultures, especially obscure third world cultures, are equal - even superior - to Western Culture, rational adults put down their Shakespeare and wonder aloud what the hell these multicultural mutants are smoking. "The 'superior' Aztec culture practiced human sacrifice. Certain 'noble' third world cultures still enslave sovereign individuals. Certain 'noble' Islamic cultures murder women who 'sully the family name' while others stone to death women who were victims of rape. All cultures are not created equal." They're right. A is still A, but the Cultural Marxists who infest our Ivory Towers continue to indoctrinate college students with this multicultural bovine excrement. It sucks being a rational adult in an irrational multicultural world.

Do we have the big 'why being a rational adult sucks' picture now, Sparky? "We" better, because a pop quiz is not out of the question.


America's Nanny State nitwits view the United States Constitution as a pesky fact of life that could make their lives miserable, if they were compelled to comply with it. Thanks to a willing complicity on the part of Congress and the American court system, they are no longer required to adhere to all those pesky government restrictions that our Founding Fathers imposed on them when the U.S. Constitution was ratified in 1788 (The Bill of Rights were ratified in 1791).

From the onset, our Elected Tormentors and the army of bureaucratic trolls who do their dirty work chafed under the U.S. Constitution's unambiguous restrictions on the federal government. They understand, too damn well, that the Founding Father's Constitutional game plan was to establish an island of government surrounded by an ocean of inalienable individual rights. Gradually, inexorably, deliberately, generations of Elected Tormentors inverted this original concept until, today, we have a small, shrinking, island of besieged individual rights that's surrounded by a relentlessly rising ocean of government.

One of the most annoying elements of this Constitutional inversion is the Brave New World of individual rights. I know what you're thinking: what about the Bill of Rights? The Bill of Rights is comprised of amendments that were created to underscore the uncontested fact that the U.S. Constitution did not give the federal government any power to intrude in certain vital areas of inalienable individual liberty: freedom of speech, the right to keep and bear arms, the right to peaceably assemble. In the Brave New World of rights the preferred mantra goes as follows: "Where does the Constitution give two male individuals the right to marry? Where does the U.S. Constitution give an individual the right to smoke pot? Blah, blah, blah" The short answer is obvious: "It doesn't." We know that the Constitution does not contain an exhaustive list of individual rights. Why should it? The Constitution is, from start to finish, a document that places explicit restrictions on government. The better question about rights is this: "Where does the Constitution give the federal government - explicitly - the right to dictate when and how an individual can exercise his freedom of speech 30 days before an election? Where does the U.S. Constitution, explicitly, give the feds the right to tell a business how it should operate, what it can manufacture and whom it should hire?"

The Founding Father's views on rights - and the Bill of Rights - is contained in the egregiously neglected 9th Amendment:

Amendment IX
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Constitutional Inversion is the dirty Nanny State secret that turned an ocean of rights into a shrinking island of rights. It sucks and it utterly and completely pisses me off.

The preferred weapon employed by Nanny State nitwits who are eager to intrude into our lives is the Constitution's commerce clause. Willfully stretching the original meaning beyond recognition, the Beltway bozos give themselves the power to intrude in every aspect of our lives. For example, in a 2005, ruling the U.S. Supreme court ruled that, under the commerce clause, the Capitol Hill cretins had the right to impose federal marijuana laws on an individual who grew pot for his own use, on his own land and never tried to sell it. Why? Because some-damn-how his activities impacted the "current" of commerce.

For those who want a hint on the real purpose of the commerce clause, here's Hambo's far from scholarly assessment. During the Colonial period, each colony was a separate entity with its own ties back to the crown and the English government. The individual colonies were like mini nations with their own laws, charters, and trade practices. When they banded together to fight for independence, then form a new nation, the old mini nation concept had to be scrapped. The way to build a single nation out of individual colonies/states was to take down the barriers that made it difficult for citizens, goods and services to move from one state to the next. The commerce clause gave the new federal government the power to prevent an individual state from erecting trade barriers with its neighboring states. That, as I understand it, is the original meaning of the commerce clause.

In the ensuing centuries, the commerce clause was inflated to give the Beltway bozos the power to dictate such things as: auto design, broadcast content standards, educrap standards, regulate the hiring practices of private firms, dictate food content, restrict drug availability. The list is long and getting longer every damn day. For a well-written article on the meaning and abuse of the commerce clause, I strongly suggest you read this item from the Federalist Blog: Interstate Commerce Myth

As far as I'm concerned, the "money quote" from this piece is this gem:

The authority to regulate trade is identical among the States as with foreign countries, and what you cannot regulate among foreign countries is equally prohibited among the States. If Congress cannot prohibit citizens of Moscow from growing pot in their backyards, then they are equally prohibited from outlawing backyard pot growing within the jurisdiction of local governments in the United States.

The instant the federal court system stamped a seal of judicial approval on this expansive "if you can tie it to commerce, you can regulate it" interpretation, it opened a political Pandora's Box that unleashed an insatiable Nanny State on our individual liberty. This egregious misinterpretation of the commerce clause led to the liberty-nuking carnage that followed.

The Nanny State's extra-constitutional intrusion into the health care marketplace - Medicare, DeathCare, and assorted other welfare state crap - rolled out the red carpet for a gem that's the weapon of first resort for socialists and shysters. It's called "the public policy issue" scam and it gives these scumbags an excuse to plunder capitalists deep pockets and dictate, in great specificity, how they must run their business. A prime example is the on-going Tobacco Jihad.

The Tobacco Jihad is erected on the dubious "public policy issue" canard. The argument is crude, but heretofore effective. Smokers are endangering their health. By endangering their health with this legal, but unhealthy, product, they impose "costs" on the Nanny State. Therefore, when the smoker incurs these healthcare costs he "burdens" the Nanny State due to the Nanny State's extra-constitutional intrusion into the medical marketplace. The solution, according to the socialists and shysters, is to force the tobacco industry to "pay" the "costs" incurred when the Nanny State blatantly stuck it's nose where the U.S. Constitution says it doesn't belong. This public burden scamnailed tobacco growing and manufacturing capitalists for billions of dollars. Did this extorted money go to compensate the Nanny State for its expenses? Get real. The lion's share of it lined the pockets of shyster scumbags. The remainder went to various states to give them more ill-gotten boodle to spread around. Bottom line: the shysters get richer and the socialists get more power to intrude into our lives.

The "public burden" scam was so amazingly successful - and profitable for shysters - that the same scumbags are gearing up for another assault on American capitalists. This time, the target is "big food". They're using the game plan that worked so well in the Tobacco Jihad. First, they flood an eager to spread the bad news media with the health dangers of trans fatty acids, and assorted other fates worse than death. Next, they try to coerce "big food" into "voluntary" compliance. Finally, declaring that the situation is a national crisis, they invoke "public policy issue", trot out dubious studies and statistics about the dangers of trans fatty acids, then go to court to "recoup" the healthcare costs incurred by the Nanny State. Once the process is complete and "big food" is plucked clean, they'll start looking for another set of deep, capitalist pockets to pick. They won't stop until they've cleaned out every-damn-body.

The Beltway bozos are complete scumbags, but, they're not stupid and that last fact makes them especially dangerous. They devised a devilishly simple way to intrude into our daily lives. I like to call this gambit: "Our money, our rules". The plan is, as usual, crude but damn effective. First, they kindly "offer" to share the "costs" of certain activities that are, per the U.S. Constitution, beyond their control. Educrap is a prime example. Spouting drivel about their concern for the educational development of American tykes, these Beltway bozos are generous to a fault. HOWEVER, there's the fine print to consider. "Since you're taking our money" the Beltway bozos insist, "you are required to follow our Draconian rules about how you conduct your business". With that foot in the door, the Beltway bozos dictate, in great specificity how, what, where, and upon whom the educrap is perpetrated.

Setting aside the fun fact that it's not the Nanny State's money - it's your money that they stole from you - this "our money our rules" crap is depressingly effective. I'm compelled to admit that few, if any, Educrats can resist the Siren song of "free" money. Strings or no strings, they're ready, willing and downright eager to grab as much of it as they can. The same, is true for various other American entities who take "free" money from, or do business with the Nanny State.

The dirtiest Nanny State secret isn't that big a secret. I'm referring to the fact that the Nanny State willfully and deliberately neglects one of its legitimate functions: safeguarding our nation's borders. The Nanny State nitwits are so busy doing all the crap that the Constitution forbids them from doing, they can't/won't take the time to fulfill one of their primary, unambiguous functions: safeguarding our nation's borders.

Sometimes this willful neglect is driven by ulterior motives. In part, that's the case here. Key members of the Nanny State - Vincente W. Bush and Chico Obama come to mind - flat out do not want to secure our borders. Why? In W's case the reasons aren't clear. It does appear that he's obsessed with establishing a border erasing, American Union patterned, in part, after the European Union. There's probably more to it than that, but I'm not sure that it matters. In Obama's case, his willful neglect of our porous borders is part of his blatant bid for Hugo Chavez class perpetual, personal, politicial power.

The primary reason for willful neglect is political inertia. Quite simply, it's much easier to do nothing and hope that the problem will magically resolve itself or mutate to a form that's not politically radioactive. We saw this at work in the mid 60's when the Capitol Hill cretins perpetrated the first "final solution" to the border jumping scumbag problem. Twenty years later, the problem got radioactive again, so they perpetrated the "final solution II", an amnesty program that succeeded beyond their wildest dreams in making the trickle of border jumpers turn into a goddamn tidal wave. This same "if we ignore it long enough it will go away" thinking is starting to take hold on Capitol Hill concerning the Jihadikaze rat bastards who are so eager to destroy us. If ignoring our Jihadikaze problems works as well as ignoring the border jumping scumbag invasion, I’m house-hunting on Pluto.

Is there any reasonable way to stop the Nanny State from swallowing us, our liberty, completely with their Dirty Little Secrets? Yes, but it won't be easy, or popular. The ultimate Dirty Little Secret is that, in too many cases, sovereign individuals allowed Nanny State largess to transform them from rugged, self-reliant individuals into parasitic wards of the all powerful Nanny State. That makes the preferred solution - a return to Constitutional principals - a tough sell. Gloomy Gus that I am, I fear that it will take a complete collapse of the Great American Nanny State's house of cards to make a properly-Constitutional American government a viable option.

Assuming a critical mass of sovereign American individuals can be achieved, I'm convinced that a new Constitutional Convention will be needed to plug the loopholes that these power-obsessed Beltway bozos opened in the our nation's founding document. Until that glorious day arrives, learn to swim, PIGsters, because the ocean of government is thisclose to swamping our shrinking island of rights.

I hear you pounding your desks out there, PIGsters. I hear you bellowing: "What the hell does all this have to do with Political Correctness, Hambo?" It has everything to do with Political Correctness. Cultural Marxists rely on relentless Nanny State growth to help them snuff out our inalienable individual rights with their p.c. bovine excrement. Therefore, daring to believe in a limited, properly-constitutional government is the ultimate form of political incorrectness. Are we all on the same page now, doubting PIGster Sparky?


© Copyright 1993-2022 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette


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