During the prime Grinch Season that starts immediately after Halloween Night and runs thru New Year's Day, PIG will keep you up to date - to the best of our ability - on the antics perpetrated by those seasonal pests, the Grinches.

PIG thinks Scrooge had the right idea, but picked on the wrong target, when he vowed to 'drive a stake of holly throught their hearts'. That sounds like a good beginning but shoving a King Kong size candy cane where the sun don't shine sounds like a much better fate to inflict on these pests who seem determined to expunge the Christmas spirit.

PIG promises to do it's best to cover all those pirme Grinch antics: the bans on trees, the hysteria over manger scenes, the panty twisting over the word 'Christmas', and all the other insanity.

Tis the season to be jolly and PIG won't allow these Grinch asshats to spoil it for us.

Green County (Arkansas)

In at least one Arkansas government cess-school district - Green County Tech school district - the message of Christmas is proudly Cross Cult. How proud? Proud enough to deploy a Nativity scene on a bulletin board at Green County Tech Primary School. On the off chance that someone didn't get it, the same bulletin also proudly proclaims "Happy Birthday, Jesus."

If you wonder who is behind it wonder no more:

"Enough is enough," said Jerry Noble, superintendent of the Green County Tech school district. "It's His birthday. We celebrate Jesus' birthday. One person should not be offended by that. We don't leave it up all year. We're not promoting religion. It's not an effort to convert anybody." (Fox News)

Predictably, the usual suspects have issues with it, including the ACLU:

"To say that if you have to offend somebody you'd rather offend those in the minority, well that's just what the Constitution and the First Amendment are all about – not offending the minority, standing up for everybody's right to practice their religion whether there is one person in your town or a thousand," ACLU Director Rita Sklar told KUAR. "That the superintendent and perhaps others don't have respect for that, I think is very sad."

Is Jerry Noble going to remove the Nativity? Yes, and no:

Noble said they had received some complaints about the decorations and after consulting with an attorney, he decided to remove the Nativity.

"My personal belief is that we should fight this sort of thing, but I didn't want to put the school district at risk," he said. "I could not take it upon myself to get the school in a legal entanglement over separation of church and state because we would have to use tax dollars to fight it and that's not my job to do that."

But his decision sparked a massive outcry in the community – and one organization offered to cover any legal costs the school system might incur over a lawsuit. That offer helped change the superintendent's mind.

"To be honest with you, we offended a lot more people by taking it down than leaving it up," Noble said. "So we put it back up."

The final answer to the ACLU's challenge seems to be "Bring it on." So be it.

Pitman (New Jersey)

For at least 50 years, the Knights of Columbus have paid for, then deployed, a street spanning banner above a Pitman (New Jersey) byway. The banner urges everyone who sees it to "Keep Christ in Christmas". No harm, no foul? You know better.

Operating from their Wisconsin headquarters, those Atheist Evangelists - the Freedom From Religion Foundation - got their knickers in a knot over it. Why? The light posts from which the banner hangs are owned by the city, PLUS - GASP - the banner was installed by members of the town's fire department.

It sounds harmless enough to me, but the Atheist Evangelists have issues with it:

The Freedom From Religion Foundation, a nonprofit Wisconsin-based group, says the banner, which was paid for by a local Knights of Columbus chapter, violates the Constitution because it was posted by members of the town's fire department. It also hangs from two town-owned light posts over Broadway in Pitman, N.J., according to Andrew Seidel, the group's constitutional consultant.

"We got a complaint from a local resident who has to drive down that street every day," Seidel told FoxNews.com on Wednesday. "He sees that sign and he feels like an outsider because of it."

Seidel said the complaint was from a local man who wishes to remain anonymous.

"The issue is that, to us, it appears to be city property," Seidel said. "It goes one of two ways: either it's city property or some level of government is endorsing that sign by allowing it to be stretched over a public street."

Don't they have anything better to do? Apparently not. If they need suggestions on what they should do, I might come up with something. All they need to do is ask.

Alabama

The Alabama Ethics Commission enshrined Grinchmas as a permanent fixture in the lives of the state's teachers. Under this edict, any teacher who accepts a gift - of any kind, including a gift card, a turkey or a ham - is begging for a $6,000 fine, and/or a 'sabbatical' in an Alabama Graybar Hotel.

Overkill? It certainly looks that way, to this pagan scribbler, but this Nanny State cabal tends to disagree:

According to an Associated Press story the Alabama Ethics Commission said teachers should have to abide by the same conflict-of-interest laws as lobbyists because "The suggestion that it is harmless for a school child to give a Christmas gift to their teacher ignores the potential for abuse." (WaPo)

Asinine Grinchiness? You better believe it, Sparky.

Santa Monica (Mexifornia)

In the People's Republic of Santa Monica, an out of towner - Damon Vix - took Atheist Evangelism to a new level. Last year, he had one of the 21 display nooks set aside by city officials in a public park". His Christmas display featured a Thomas Jefferson quote, "Religions are all alike -- founded on fables and mythologies.". As usual, local Toll Booths controlled 14 of the 21 display nooks.

This year, the local Toll Booths were caught napping, thanks to Damon Vix, who inspired other secularists/atheists to put in a request for a slot. When 13 individuals asked for display nooks, city officials drew names. Two of Damon Vix's recruits made the cut - winning control of 18 display nooks (each applicant can request up to 9 display nooks)

Predictably, the local Toll Booths are not thrilled spitless:

"Our belief is that these new applicants have been working together to displace and push out the nativity scenes from the park, rather than erecting a full display of their own," said Hunter Jameson, a spokesman for a coalition of the city's churches. (Fox News)

After 57 years, the Santa Monica Toll Booths got complacent, opening the door for Damon Vix and his stunning coup. Is Damon Vix a Grinch? Not really, since he and his cohorts played by the city's rules. Are the Santa Monica officials Grinches? Perhaps, because they seemed to tweak the lottery rules to favor the secularist/atheists.

Norton (Massachusetts)

Residents of the Norton Glen complex got some thrilling news from the Wingate Management, the firm which rides herd on this community. Under Wingate's rules of Christmas engagement, REAL Christmas trees are banned from the Norton Glen complex. Lighting REAL candles within a Norton Glen home is also banned.

If you think this thrills North Glen residents spitless, get over it. Many of them are terminally pissed and vowing to ignore the real Christmas Tree ban. Faced with blowback, Wingate points out that they only took control of the housing complex last year, from a firm which had already imposed this ban on real trees.

Wingate Management insists this real tree ban is a safety measure.

North Glen residents pin a 'Grinchiness' label on this real tree ban.

We the PIGs will let you make the final call on this one.

Henderson County (Mexas)

Tis the season, and, in Henderson County (Mexas) that means true believers have deployed a Nativity on the lawn of the county courthouse, again. Again? One Lone Star State denizen insists it has been deployed, every Christmas, for at least 35 years. So what's new, this year?

The Grinchiness started, this year, after a local fired off a letter to the Wisconsin-based Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF). In record time, the Cheesehead Atheists fired off a rhetorical warning shot at the relevant county officials:

The Wisconsin-based atheist organization sent a letter to the county explaining that a local resident had complained and they wanted the Nativity removed.

"It sends a message of intimidation and exclusion to non-Christians and non-believers this time of year," FFRF co-founder Annie Laurie Gaylor told television station KFDW.

She said the location of the Nativity — on the lawn of the courthouse in Athens, made non-Christians feel unwelcome.

"Anybody walking by that is going to say, 'Hmmm. This is a Christian government building. I'm not welcome here if I'm not Christian,'" she told the television station. (Fox News)

Unwilling to tolerate an assault from Cheesehead Atheists, the local Cross Cult Toll Takers are circling the mangers to defend the Henderson County Nativity.

"It's time that Americans stand up and take America back for the faith that we were founded upon," said Nathan Lorick, pastor of the First Baptist Church in Malakoff. "We're going to stand up and fight for this."

Lorick, and a group of other pastors in Henderson County, are organizing a large rally to defend the traditional Nativity from an attack by the Freedom From Religion Foundation. (Fox News)

I'd like to tell you that there's something new here, but I can't. It's the same True Believers Vs Atheists fiasco that PIG News reports every damn year. I'm not even going to bloviate, because I've been there, done that, time after time.

Kingston, Ontario (Canada)

Tis the season and for two Canadian bus drivers - Diane Pope, Brigette Klepy - that means festooning their designated school busses with Christmas decorations. The women enjoy making their rides festive and so do the young 'uns they drive to and from school. Happily ever after? Not a chance.

The Grinch, in this case, is a killjoy named Brenda Chalk, who lurks at Tri-Board, the transportation agency contracted to provide services for local school boards, where she's a 'transportation supervisor'. Relentlessly Grinchy, Bitch Brenda fired off a flaming Grinch-o-gram via e-mail, to Bridgette Klepy's employer, Stover Bus Line:

"If that bus is decorated tomorrow, it is not to leave your yard," the email stated. "Another bus will need to be used on that route. Should the decorated bus be used on the route, it would be considered a breach of your contract," the email concluded.

Klepy said she would remove the decorations prior to driving Wednesday morning. She said she did not want Stover Bus Lines to lose its contract. Stover has a fleet of about 13 buses and is contracted to run about five school bus routes.

"If I leave the yard tomorrow, he loses his contract," said a tearful Klepy. "A couple of old ladies who want to decorate their buses and they are threatening to take away all his runs."

The decorations on the inside of Klepy's bus were difficult to see from the outside. The ribbons, bows, snowflakes and Christmas crackers were fixed to the ceiling. The bus Pope drives had stickers of snowmen, elves, Santa Claus and angels in the windows. (CNEWS)

Why is Brenda Chalk being an utterly Grinchy bitch? Because she wants everyone else to be as miserable as she is.

Plainsboro (New Jersey)

Colin Curran is an inmate at West Windsor - Plainsboro High School (New Jersey). He did a header into entrenched Grinches, while he was compiling a Christmas music playlist for holiday breakfast which is hosted by the student council for some richly deserving tykes. The Grinch - the student council's faculty adviser - made Colin's task impossible, when he banned any/all songs that included such words as: God, Jesus, Santa, Christmas or Chanukah.

Unwilling to 'suffer' in silence, Colin had his say in a rant - "Christmas, I mean Holiday, Music" - that was published on the Huffington Post blog. It must have generated some heat, because the relevant Educrats are beating a hasty retreat, while they blame it all on the student council adviser.

Before the Huffington Post rant, the Educrats were grotesquely Grinchy:

"I questioned the logic behind these restrictions and was informed that since we live in an area with many different cultures, our principal does not want to offend anyone with belief-specific music," Curran wrote on his Huffington Post blog.

After the HuffPo blowback reached critical mass they threw 'Grinch' under the school bus with the student council adviser:

Gerri Hutner, the director of communications for the West Windsor Plainsboro School District, confirmed the incident occurred – but said the adviser was mistaken.

"There is not a ban on religious music," Hutner told Fox News & Commentary. "Religious music is a part of the concerts we have from elementary through high school. We do not restrict music within our programs."

Hutner said the adviser incorrectly told Curran that the music could not have any religious overtones. She said the adviser had based that decision on information she had received from a former principal.

"We try to be very aware how we celebrate any type of event because we are a very diverse community," Hutner said, noting that previous concerts have included songs like "Silent Night" and "Hallelujah Chorus." (Fox)

PIG confers heartfelt kudos on Colin Curran for his essential role in restoring sanity at West Windsor - Plainsboro High School.

Stockton (Mexifornia)

The Grinchiness began, at Claudia Landeen Elementary School when the school's teachers got a dose of Grinchy wisdom from school administrators which threw Old Saint Nick under a school bus: "District office would like to remind everyone when displaying holiday decorations in and around school to be mindful no association to any religious affiliation i.e. Santa, poinsettias, Christmas trees, etc." You'll be relieved to learn that these Educrat Grinches gave the grinchy green light to snowmen and snowflakes. And here you were, worrying, needlessly.

This Grinchy business hit its stride, when a copy of this missive found its way to News 10 in Sacramento. The station's calls to the district elicited this Educrat response:

Tom Uslan, the superintendent of the Lincoln Unified School District, told News 10 "there is a myriad of religious affiliations (in the community) … we don't want a pervasive theme of a class to be representing one religious affiliation." (Fox News)

Intrigued by the News 10 piece, Fox News tried to track down the source of the memo, letter, whatever, that started the whole mess.

"There has been no letter from district administration," [a] spokesperson said. "There has been no policy edict from our school board."

"There was a conversation to encourage administrators that each of our employees should enjoy their religious freedoms but we don't want to have a pervasive theme of a classroom or public office to represent a specific religious affiliation unless we are formally teaching topics regarding those affiliations."

So does that mean teachers can decorate their classrooms with Santa Claus and poinsettias?

"Not if that's going to be the pervasive theme," the spokesperson told Fox News & Commentary. "That's the operative word. If you're going to have a pervasive theme of one culture over another, unless it's part of the core curriculum, then we would encourage that not to be so." (Fox News)

Confused? Don't be.

Truth: The District didn't send a letter to the teachers.

The Whole Truth: They had a meeting with school administrators and dispensed their Grinchy "no pervasive theme" marching orders, verbally.

Truth: The letter, memo, whatever, is real.

The Whole Truth: It was perpetrated farther down the food chain.

Truth: If you're gonna have Santa, you can't make it all about him or even mostly about him. You must massage the fragile psyches of EVERYBODY.

The Whole Truth: The District's "pervasive theme" prose doesn't ban Santa from classrooms. Instead, they made deploying him such an utter pain in the ass that their "pervasive theme" scam is the functional equivalent of a Santa ban.

If you need "pervasive theme" defined, you're in the same mindset as a teacher in this Grinchy Mexifornia school district. Since "pervasive theme" is a seasonal sword of Damocles hanging over the teachers' heads, the most sensible thing to do is nothing. No classroom decorations means no scream-a-thon from someone higher up the Educrap food chain.

Thanks to "pervasive theme", Lincoln Unified School District tacitly banned Christmas decor in classrooms, while giving themselves plausible deniability. Having their fruitcake and eating it, too? You better believe it, Grinchmas Sparky.

Loudon County (Virginia)

What is this thing? That depends whom you ask.

According to its perpetrator, Jeff Heflin, it's an "art work of Santa on a cross to depict society's materialistic obsessions and addictions and how it is killing the peace, love, joy and kindness that is supposed to be prevalent during the holiday season."

According to the Loudon County Board of Supervisors, it's a legal exercise in free speech which the board approved after Jeff Heflin submitted his application.

According to the letter to the Loudon Times by a true believer named Gisela Bresler, it's an affront which mocks Cross Cultism:

"As I was coming to the Courthouse this morning, I was confronted by one of the most repulsive and disgusting displays of the misuse or our free speech that I have ever had the misfortune to witness," Bresler wrote in a letter published in the Loudon Times. "In front of the Old Courthouse building there is a display of a cross with a Santa suit draped over it and the Santa has a skull for a face."

"Perhaps the person or organization that displayed this monstrosity wants to make a point that Christmas is dead, or that Christ is dead," the letter continued. "The point is that free speech is a two-way street. It is fine for whoever decided to display this obnoxious thing to have it displayed, but it is also correct for those who are insulted by it to speak against it. I am, therefore condemning this and I am repulsed by the fact of it." (Fox News)

This pagan scribbler thinks it's stupid. I also think, since Jeff Heflin played by the rules by submitted his application, his statement, however unpopular, should be allowed to stand. Why? Because it's unpopular speech, like his, that the First Amendment is meant to protect.

Traverse City (Michigan)

While preparing for a Christmas concert, at Cherry Knoll Elementary School (Traverse City, Michigan), a music teacher's practice session hit an unexpected speed bump. The 1st and 2nd graders kept giggling, while practicing "Deck the Halls". Every time they sang "don we now our gay apparel" the word "gay" gave them the giggles. What to do? What indeed.

If you're the music teacher, you yank "gay" and replace it with "bright", making the lyric: "don we now our bright apparel". Did it work? Yup. Did it set off shock waves? You better believe it, Sparky.

The school's Facebook page has since been inundated with reactions from infuriated parents and fellow educators. "By taking the word 'gay' out of 'Deck The Halls' you are making it a big deal, one word can have different meanings," wrote one user. "Your personal opinions should not reflect what you teach other people's children. Please teach the children the classic song the way it was written." Another added: "Essentially, this teacher has now taught the elementary school children, including children as young as five, that gay means homosexual sex." (AOL)

Proving that no 'good', albeit misguided, deed goes unpunished, the school Principal, Chris Parker, is throwing the music teacher under the school bus, by expressing disapproval over the lyric change.

Fear not, PIGster, the tykes are back to singing the original lyric.

Parting shot: File this under 'much ado about nothing'.

Merry Grinchmas From Doylestown Station

If you're dreaming of a 'white' Christmas in Doylestown Station (Pennsylvania), the members of homeowners' association board have your back. In their vast, 'ho, ho, ho' inducing wisdom, they have banished any/all non-white Christmas lights. In order to comply, the white blightmare bulbs are banned from blinking.

In lieu of shedding their Grinchmas edict, the HOA board sent out a survey, but only 38 of the 200 home owners responded: white blightmare got 19 votes; blinking colored lights got 14 votes; colored, unblinking lights got 5 votes.

PIG thinks the HOA board members aren't the only Grinches in Doylestown Station. The 162 non-voting residents made the cut; the 19 white blightmare voters made the cut and so do the HOA bard members who think dictating holiday decor is any of their f-ing business.

Maybe they should name this place Grinchville.

Merry Grinchmas From Fort Worth

You'll be thrilled to learn that the Grinches are running the Fort Worth Independent School District. We know this based on the cess-school district's headline spawning rules of Christmas engagement. Because somebody might get a boo-boo on their fragile psyche, the district unleashed Christmas nuking, Grinchy assault which includes:

* Inmates can't exchange Christmas gifts.

* The Jolly Old Elf is, henceforth, uncool for school.

* Seasonal decor is allowed, if it gets past the Grinch's vaunted supernaturalism detector. If anyone views the decor as remotely religious in nature, the item(s) in question are banished.

* Christmas card exchanges are also banished.

Magnanimous to an amazing degree, Fort Worth's Educrat Grinches will allow Christmas gift and Christmas card exchanges between inmates, before school, after school and/or during lunch. Last, but not least, inmates are allowed to say "Merry Christmas" to each other. You gotta love that last bit. It's ironic, in the extreme, to sanction "Merry Christmas" in school, after unleashing a Grinch assault which makes a 'Merry' Christmas, virtually impossible at any of Fort Worth's government cess-schools.