Many, perhaps most, of you have endured an insult to your intelligence called 'Sensitivity Training'. Some of you have been subjected to that indignity more than once. We the PIGs feel your pain, so we decided to bring you out of that dark, inhospitable place and into the bright, inspirational light of PIGish Inkorrectness. We've named this heroic endeavor in DEPROGRAMMING, Insensitivity Training - AKA Insensitivity 101.
Unlike the Sensitivity wranglers, we won't brow beat you, demean you, or turn you into public enemy number 1. This is particularly good news for certain survivors of Sensitivity Training. I'm referring, those of you who are eligible for the holy hyphen, but have flatly refused to drink your assigned clan's Kool-Aid. I'm also referring to oppressors - the non-existent clan Korrectniks call 'whites'. In theory - Sensitivity wranglers spew this drivel with a straight face - Sensitivity Training will absolve individuals who fall into either of the aforementioned categories from accusations of insensitivity. It's bullshit of course, since belonging to either category renders you inherently 'offensive'.
The unstable foundation for Sensitivity Training is the entirely mythical right which protects an individual from being offended. By and large, it's all about words, but offenses can also involve actions, gestures, and even 'thoughts', since the chronically offended are - they insist - telepathic.
The Chronically Offended, and the 'activists' who shill for them, play rational adults for suckers, by fostering the fantasy, that sensitivity is a simple matter of avoiding certain words. In some cases they offer 'acceptable' alternatives:
* In 2013 'Master' was under assault by Korrectniks in the housing/real estate industry.
Master Suite and Master Bedroom are SO out.
Owner's Suite and Owner's Bedroom are in.
* In the state of Washington, Korrectniks mounted a Jihad against inkorrect words like these:
Fisherman became Fisher
Penmanship became Handwriting
Journeyman Plumber became Journey Level Plumber
Signalman became Signal Operator
Some words are simply banished:
* The fools on the Hill (U.S. Congress) banished the word 'Lunatic' from all official federal documents. 'Lunatic' follows in the footsteps of the so-called R-Word (Retarded) which got the bum's rush in 2010. Retarded has been banished - or is in the process of being ousted - in 45 of Barry's 57 states. If 'Lunatic' stays on the trail blazed by retarded, it, too, will be affixed with a 'hate speech' label by the usual 'activist' suspects.
* The most popular muzzle employed by the Korrectniks involves branding seemingly innocuous words as racist. A few years ago, a Korrectnik in Congress vilified 'tax cut' and 'budget cut' as 'racist Republican code words'. 'Founding Fathers', 'States Rights', Limited Government, the 'Declaration of Independence', all references to the TEA Party. Individualism, and support of a meritocracy are also deemed to be racist to the core.
If you learn the banned words list(s) you're home free? Not exactly:
"If the language is being used to criticize a black person then we must deem such language to be irreparably and irrevocably racist. Every word that is used to disguise the racist intentions of a racist political movement must be deemed a racist code word disguising the true racist intentions of the racists who make use of them."
– Congresswoman Marcia Fudge, the leader of the Congressional Black Caucus and Chairwoman of the House Subcommittee on 40 Acres, an Obamaphone and a Mule
Congressman Jim Clyburn went even further. "The entire English language was created by slaveowners as a means of oppression. You can't just say that one word is a racist code word or another. The whole language, every single word, letter and apostrophe in it is racist. It's a fact. If you speak English, you're a racist."
"All Republicans is racist, therefore whenever they use English, they are using it to hiddenly express racist ideas. Whenever they speak, they are speaking entirely in racist code words. But when Democrats like us speak English, we're using tolerance code words." (Front Page)
Sooner or later, each of you will be vilified as 'insensitive', so what, if anything should you do about it. Admittedly, a heartfelt 'bite me' gets it done, simply, efficiently. Been there, done that, but if you want to leave them dazed and confused, try using this, instead:
Hambo's Moron-duh Warning for the Chronically Offended.
You have the right to remain silent, but we both know that shut the fuck up isn't' your best move. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion, if I can resist my compulsion to strap your mutant ass to a rocket and launch you out of my misery.
You have the right to speak to an attorney, but you're probably way ahead of me on that. When the medical health professionals question you to try to find out 'what's your damage' your shyster should be there to save you from being gunned down like a rabid dog.
If you cannot afford a lawyer, that's tough darts, because I'm not going to pay for the son-of-a-bitch. Are we on the same page now, chronically offended Sparky?
If you want more fun, try what Hambo calls it 'bestowing enlightenment', a PIGish reality check wherein clueless cretins are brought up to speed on certain essential facts of existence.
What we call 'bestowing enlightenment' is what the pinheads call 'a teachable moment'. Whatever you call it, no matter how you define it, being a purveyor of enlightenment is an unrelenting source of intellectually stimulating fun, wherein the only limits are the boundaries of your imagination.
The first rule of bestowing enlightenment is a warning to 'keep a cool head'. For maximum efficiency, you don't want to tip your hand. When you bestow enlightenment, you must never betray emotion. That means don't get angry and never crack a smile. When it comes to bestowing enlightenment, you need to sell the idea that you're deadly serious, so dust off your best poker face, Sparky.
The second rule of bestowing enlightenment states that 'you don't need to seek out opportunities to enlighten, because it's more fun to let these opportunities find you'. After you finish reading this primer on bestowing PIGish enlightenment, you'll realize, that, when it comes to enlightenment opportunities, your daily life is a target-rich environment.
Where should you start your exercise in enlightenment? You start by challenging their 'right' that protects them from being offended:
* There is no Constitutional "right" that protects you from being offended.
* You don't have the right to criminalize all speech, all images, all activities that you deem inappropriate for your rugrat.
* You don't have the right to silence others because you don't want to hear what they say.
* You don't have the right to stop others from creating and displaying certain images because you don't want to see them. (Are you paying attention, CAIR? Am I coming through loud and clear?)
* You don't have the right to impose your gender identity brainfart on the rest of the world. You are entitled to your own opinion when it comes to that. Believe what you want. Swap genders as often as you want, because it doesn't matter here in the REAL world, where Mother Nature always gets the last word.
If you want to have some PIGish fun, get 'proactive'. How? Korrectness may be out of reach, but Korrectniks aren't. Everything they do invites an inspired, PIGish response. Here are a few to get your creativity fired up:
Hire some homeless dudes to stand on street corners shouting 'the end is here', while they hold up Obama is the Antichrist signs.
Create a 'hide the hideous' charity to raise money for designer bags that beasts like Rosie and Whoopi can wear over their heads to 'Keep America Beautiful'."
Launch a 'Flannels for Feminazis" clothing drive, where you box up our old flannel shirts, clod stomper shoes, plus some still serviceable sweat pants and send them to the Womyn's Studies Department at the local Ivory Tower. "
Set a goal to receive at least one snarky letter from the local Educrats admonishing you for teaching Little Johnny and/or Moonbeam to call the institute of alleged learning they attend a 'cess-school'.
Make Women's History Month memorable for the NONADS by staging a 'Hey Baby' objectathon in front of the Womyn's Studies Department at a local Ivory Tower
Stage a 'smoke in' at a nearby Smoke Nazi infestation. This one is as simple as wandering around with an unlit cigarette dangling from your lips.
If you crave big time fun, which is replete with payback, you could hit the Chronically Offended with some 'insensitive' words of your own:
Here area few of mine:
Oppresses the chronically indecisive by limiting their options.
Oppresses the Educrat who got fired during that nasty grade-inflation scandal. Also oppresses the grade inflatee, who learns, the hard way, that all 'A's are not created equal.
Oppresses Demoncrats who don't know what the meaning of 'is' is. Also oppresses the VRWC who still remember their Quixotean Quest to dump Bubba.
Oppresses the chronically unemployed. It also oppresses the egregiously lazy.
Oppresses the differently energetic who view it as an attack on their fondness for leisure.
Oppresses the chronically juvenile. A more suitable description is 'behaviorally nostalgic'.
Oppresses orphans, and wenchlets named 'Heather' who have two mommies.
Oppresses GLAAD BAAGs who flunked spelling. Besides, it 'sounds like that OTHER word'.
Stealing a phrase from El Rushbo, I'll say that bestowing enlightenment is the most fun you can have with half your brain tied behind your back.
When someone asks a rude, intrusive, question don't get mad, enlighten them. Set your imagination free and give them the enlightenment bestowing answer that they deserve.
If some asshat annoys you, by bragging about their rooty-tooty family, don't get mad, enlighten them. Tell them: "My family tree has been pissed on by more mongrels than the telephone poll in front of the dog pound."
If some hyphenated halfwit annoys you, by denigrating your whitebread pedigree, don't get mad, enlighten them. Tell them: "Hell fire, hyphenation breath, my family is so lily white we give driven snow an inferiority complex."
If some Korrectnik gets huffy about your colorful style of expression, don't get mad, enlighten them. When my cousin got huffy about 'wench', I enlightened her:"Your hypersensitivity is not my responsibility."
When you implement your own burst of insensitivity, don't forget to put a guaranteed to irritate smirk on your face. Why? Because, when you do it right, PIGish insensitivity is fun. It's not your fault they misplaced their sense of humor.
I better wrap this up, because our legal eagle is hyperventilating. It's time to enlighten him, again. Why are you running away Fred? Don't make me come over there...