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Friday
January 30, 2015

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'SKIN THIS!
Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Has Proven Himself A True Warrior By Shrugging Off Korrectnik Thuggery. PIG Salutes ThIs Hero Of Inkorrectness For Standing Firm In His Decision To Keep The Name Redskins. Dan, You Are The Man!
CARD 'EM, DANO

Don't Give 'Em The Finger,
Because It Won't Linger.
Don't Bother To Sass 'Em
Just IDGAS 'Em
*IDGAS Is Our New " I Don't Give A Shit" Card.
When Confronted By A 'Tard,
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HAMBO FOR PREZ !
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PIG'S GALLERY
 • PIG POLL •
MOONBATS
Which Moonbat Deserves A One-Way Trip To Another Galaxy?

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Michael Moore*
Maxine Waters
Any Kardashian
Occutards
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 *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food &
Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore & Any Kardashian caboose Counts As Two Votes.

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AND THE WINNER IS...
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>>> Read More >>>

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TOP STORY
STATE OF THE PIGDOM 2015
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The FSOP puts Obama, under a microscope, finds him egregiously pathetic, then things take a PIGish turn.

Because it amuses us, We the PIGs are breaking out our legendary State-O-Meter, to measure America's condition. We are differently-thrilled when it, once again, pegged out in the red, 'you're so screwed' zone. After all the money Messiah Barry flushed down the crapper with his various schemes, a few hopelessly optimistic PIG Staffers convinced themselves that we might return to the 'it turbo sucks, but things could be worse' readings from the Vicente Bush era. Needless to say, they were not amused, so we did the sensitive thing. After putting them on suicide watch, we started a betting pool on who offs himself first, when they go, and how they'll get 'er done.

Given Messiah Barry's pathetic performance on our State-O-Meter reading, we're compelled to stand up and bellow "what the f**k are you doing? After weighing all the essential factors, we're forced to admit that our employee, Messiah Barry, isn't measuring up to our minimum levels in any of the essential POTUS criteria. Obviously, this Dumbo-Eared fool isn't taking proper care of the nation's business.

When we take a long hard look at Messiah Barry's Prompter Punk antics, we come to the chilling conclusion that 'you're so screwed' is insanely optimistic.

He's been in office for 6 years and given what we've seen, I wonder if America can take another 2 years. Barry is, without question, the worst thing that has ever happened to America. We have put our bitterest enemy in a position of supreme authority, where he can do the most harm, twice.

Because it's necessary, let's take a look at some of Barry's least endearing traits:

* He brazenly lies about damn near everything. Since there are so f-ing many lies, too many to keep straight, he never worries about contradicting himself. In some memorable instances, he's been caught contradicting himself in the same speech or interview.

* In his oath of office, he swore he'd preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. Instead, he uses imperial decrees to ignore, and in numerous cases, violate any/all portions of our founding document that get in his way, or cramp his Imperial Presidential style.

* For much too long, entirely too many otherwise rational adults have stepped back from stating the obvious. Barack Hussein Obama is, at minimum, giving aid and comfort to our Jihadikaze enemies. I think he's on their side, which explains why he's making sure Iran goes nuclear. If he's not on their side, why has he released so many of the terrorist leaders whom we had locked up in Gitmo? If he's not on their side, why has he done so much to try and weaken Israel? If he's not on the Jihadikaze side, why isn't he giving the Kurds the heavy weapons they need to fight and defeat ISIS?

* Hiding behind his black supremacist attorney general, Obama is dividing We the People into warring subgroups, based on race and ethnicity. Obama is deliberately fanning the flames of a race war.

* When, as they frequently do, things go wrong - Benghazi, the IRS scandal, the fast and furious gun scandal, to name a few - Obama, whose position as POTUS puts all information at his fingertips, pleads ignorance. "I didn't know anything about it, until I saw it on television.

* He has deliberately, systematically, undermined America's status on the world stage.

* His regime orchestrated the destruction of America's healthcare industry.

* He exterminated American's thriving coal industry, an act of economic terrorism that will shake our economy for years to come.

* His attempts to end all domestic oil production backfired, because by closing off public lands, he created an oil boom on private lands.

* During his regime, the MSM completed its transition from purveyors of news to the propaganda arm of the Jackass Party.

* With his help, Ivory Towers gave up all pretense of educating. Instead they became angst factories where political correctness has reached EPIC LEVELS.

* He continues to campaign for a job he's already got. He loves all the perks of his job, but, after 6 years, he still hasn't begun doing ANY OF IT.

* This is the first time he's been put in charge of anything. Having no leadership experience, he's in over his head, way over his head, and it shows.

* He's a deadly joke as Commander-in-Chief. It's not enough to make our warriors defenseless targets, thanks to the politically correct rules of engagement he imposed in Afghanistan. Far from satisfied, after taking weapons out of our warriors' hands, he's arming the enemy - in Syria, and elsewhere, with our most advanced weapons. At the same time, he is purging any top brass with meaningful battlefield cred and replacing them with politically motivated brass who only make war on our own warriors. We don't need to ask whose side he's on, because, in his case, his actions speak much louder that his words.

We're forced to conclude that this Jihadikaze loving tool can't be trusted with America's top job. He's in way over his head. In fact, given his slacker management style, he's not even up to the 'do you want fries with that' rigors of a fast food joint's drive-up window. The bottom line is painfully clear. He had 6 years to get his shit together and isn't getting anywhere close to getting something, ANYTHING, done to our satisfaction. Something needs to be done.

He is, in our considered opinion, hopeless. He's not man enough for this job, so he needs a career more perfectly aligned to his meager skills. We see no point in putting off this painful decision: He has got to go, IMMEDIATELY. That begs the question, who should replace him? I know what you're thinking and I agree that Jabbering Joe Biden would be at least as bad. Unhappily, we don't see anyone, from either of the dominant political clans, who can perform this task, to our satisfaction. Left with no other choice, the FSOP will need to take care of this one ourselves.

That's right, we're ready, willing, and eager to show Barry the door, and take on this vital job, until a suitable replacement for him can be found.

I know what you're thinking and we agree, in principle, that we have Constitutional ways of resolving this matter. We don't dispute that, but we're compelled to ask if you trust the fools on Capitol Hill to fix a problem which they created, then exacerbated, themselves. While you're mulling that, we'll present our compelling credentials.

Instead of extolling our many leadership virtues, we'll render you speechless with our awe-inspiring, PIGish, solutions.

Veteran PIGsters know that the FSOP has already proposed properly-PIGish solutions for some of America's problems. For example:

* Border Jumping Scumbag Invaders: Been here. Fixed it. How? Landmine Lotto , of course. This PIGish prose will get you up to speed:

Landmine Lotto involves liberating all the world's land mines and using them to line our border. If a player - Alas Poor Chico, I knew him well - stumbles through the mine field without blowing his nuts to Honduras, he must wait until Juan, Guadalupe, whomever blows themself up. At that point, he must replace the exploded mine with a new one. If he manages that, he's free to enter the USA. Or, if he refuses, he's tagged with an electronic transmitter, ala Wild Kingdom, and sent back.

* Restoring Uncle Sam's 'Big Dog on the Block' Status: On our Hambo for Prez page we offer many workable solutions, including this one:

Every Monday morning, we'd give our personal assistant - we're thinking Kendra from 'Girls Next Door' - our latest list of 'asshat countries'. Kendra would arrange for the top diplomat from each country on the list to meet us in the Oval Office, where they would see the name of their country written down and put inside Uncle Sam's top hat. Then, a randomly chosen American would get to pull out the name of the winner.

The name of the winner will be announced and its ambassador informed that his nation will be nuked, immediately, for being a pain in Uncle Sam's butt. This mushroom cloud reality check will remind all the other pissant nations who dodged that nuclear bullet why they don't want to screw with us.

* Law Suit Abuse By Relentlessly Greedy Trial Lawyers: The FSOP insists that our no limit, trial lawyer hunting season is an idea whose time has come. Put us in charge and we'll get 'er done.

Unwilling to rest on our laurels, we're ready, willing, and eager to solve misery-inducing problems like these:

* Traffic Congestion On, or Near Those Suicide Hotspots like Bridges, Overpasses & Buildings: Equip all emergency vehicles with a sonic boom class sound system, and a song suitable to the occasion: Van Halen's "Jump".

* Climate Change I: Step 1: Round up all the lab-coated hooligans who give lip service to the Hot Air Buffoon's demented, Globally-Warmed, ravings. Step 2: Outfit them in Bermuda shorts, t-shirts and sandals. Step 3: Load them on a plane, wearing a parachute and holding a thermometer. Step 4: Air drop them onto the South Pole. Step 5: Baby it's COLD outside enlightenment.

* Climate change II: According to the chattering Chicken Littles in the Greeniac lunatic fringe, Global Warming is to blame for the super storms which slammed into the Northeast USA, this Winter. In fact, these same wonky weather weenies warn that a much bigger weather system could be lurking out there somewhere. Blah, blah, blah.

The FSOP finds this hyperventilating amusing, but far from scientifically sound. Our own crackpot lab-coated hooligans have a much more plausible explanation. The culprit, they insist, is the gravitational pull of Kim Kardashian's colossal caboose and its relentlessly expanding event horizon which is yanking the storm track much farther North than normal.

Our solution, is simple. The next time this happens and we want to put the storm track back where it belongs, we'll relocate Kim and her hippo butt to Cuba. The gravitational pull of her king size caboose with yank the storm track south back where it will do some good, by, hopefully, putting the Castro brothers, out of our misery.

*Home grown Jihadikazes: Step 1: Drag the Jihadikaze to Club Gitmo, where his shyster can't reach him. Step 2: Have a PMS-ravaged team of hormonally-deranged women go rage-a-holic on him for a few days, to soften him up. Step 3: Send in some Marquis de Sade class interrogator who will get things rolling by threatening "to go John J. Pershing on his sorry ass". Step 4: Suitably persuaded, this punk will tell us everything he knows, plus, a lot of crap he doesn't know.

* Cell Idiots, Texters, Tweeters, Make-up Appliers and Other Distracted Drivers: Give tax breaks and regulatory relief to any manufacturer that equips its vehicles with asshat-seeking missiles.

* Congress: Putting the Elephant Clan in charge is a good starting point, but more needs to be done, so we'll start by kicking the leadership - Sobby, McConnell, and a few others - upstairs. How? By putting them in cabinet positions in departments we plan to downsize or eliminate. If we do it right, we make room for new blood, new leaders who favor a smaller, less intrusive government.

As you can see, putting the FSOP in charge, after pink-slipping Barry for failing so miserably at his latest performance review, is an idea whose time has come. We're convinced that you'll find our FSOP regime a refreshing change from this Jihadikaze, who pretended to have all the answers, when, in reality, he didn't even understand the questions. Unlike that narcissistic fool, the FSOP will seek out rational adults, certified sovereign individuals, who have the requisite expertise, but no self-serving, tax $$$ plundering, axe to grind. We'll ask, we'll listen, then we'll find the solution which maximizes individual liberty and minimizes Nanny State interference in your life. That's how real American leadership is supposed to work, will work, if you turn us loose.

If you want an administration whose notion of a state dinner is a kegger with the burgers and pizza served by the Hooters hotties, turn us loose. Hell, play your cards right and we'll invite you, but bring some $, because we'll pass the hat to pay for it.

If you want an administration that will privatize the airwaves, privatize Educrap, and take a meat axe to the alphabet soup of federal agencies - EPA, EEOC, FDA, IRS, DEA, etc. - turn us loose.

If you want an administration that will scare the snot out of Islamikazes, Commie scumbags, Nanny State Nitwits, Korrectniks, and neo-Marxist meatheads, turn us loose.

If you want an administration that will make war on the mighty hyphen, by promoting the properly-hyphenated from the victimhood to the lofty status of sovereign individualism, turn us loose.

If you want properly PIGish solutions, we've got 'em. The next move is yours, We the People Sparky.


• PIG's Weekly News Digest
Definitely NOT Your Mommy's News Page!
Get a PIG's-eye view of the week's events.
Updated Every Monday >>>

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• PIG's OINK OBSERVER
What the hell is it? If Enquiring minds want to know, the answer is a click away.
>>> Oink Me, Big Boy >>>
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• HAMBO'S HAMMER
Have you been Hambo'd today? Every day, PIG's insane editor posts a sample of what's on his alleged mind.
Read More >>>

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GOSPEL: PORCUS PITCHFORK

• PORCUS PITCHFORK
'Fork Off! From time to time, whenever he's mad as hell and can't take it anymore, Porcus just says, 'Fork You!
Read More >>>
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PIG'S POSTING SCHEDULE
PIG'S PIC OF THE DAY

Cheeky

• EYE OPENERS:
Sometimes, A Picture
Says It All.
If You Have A Unique
Photo, Cartoon or
Graphic, Sen
d It To:
pig@pigazette.com

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Image Source
PIGster QRA
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WORD OF THE DAY

LIQUID AMNESIA, Hamboism

A very high octane adult beverage whose potent alcoholic punch, temporarily, helps rational adults forget that the inmates really did put that Marxist Messiah Maniac in charge of the asylum.

"The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will and the other from a strong won't."
– Henry Ward Beecher

Does anyone have E.T.'s cell phone number? There's a Dumbo eared Kenyan I want them to abduct.

Seriously?

[NYDN] Yo. You, over there.

Excuse us, does that sound rude? We apologize, but duty demands we desist from using the previously polite titles of "Mr." or "Ms.," for fear of offending someone by mistakenly using the incorrect honorific when referring to a man who used to be a woman or vice versa.

So says the City University of New York's Graduate Center, going where it appears no man, woman or gender-nonspecific being in higher education has gone before.

Interim Provost Louise Lennihan has instructed staff and faculty to correspond with their 4,200 students and with applicants strictly by first and last name — lest any frail individual be made to feel uncomfortable by a label designating either the male or female sex.

Prefixes that have stood the test of time are suddenly forbidden because someone might feel oppressed receiving an envelope addressed to the former Mr. John Smith, now Ms. Jane Smith.

If a man becomes a woman, or vice versa, or either becomes neither, he or she should be called what he or she wishes to be called. But seeking to extinguish discrimination by rewiring the English language is no business for a university to ply .

Got it, dude?

Irony, defined
News of the Weird by Chuck Shepherd

• Three homes on the Pacific Ocean near Grayland, Washington, were washed away by violent rainstorms in early December, but the residents had seen it coming. The longtime local name for the area is "Washaway Beach." Said one, "I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but I had hoped it wasn't this soon."

• In November, an airline's advertising staff created the catchy slogan (to attract impulse travelers), "Want to go somewhere, but don't know where?" and convinced management to send it, via Twitter, to the airline's thousands of followers. (Spoiler: The airline was Malaysia Airlines, whose Flight 370 still has not been found.) [KOMO-TV (Seattle), 12-11-2014] [Malta Independent, 11-28-2014]

JIndal on Immigration

As a governor, I am one of 50 men and women who every day deals with both the good and bad effects of our federal immigration policy.

It is not a faculty lounge debate for us, but real issues that affect our citizens.

It is my view that immigration can make a country stronger, or it can make a country weaker.

It really depends on whether the immigrants coming to your country are coming to join your culture, your mores, your laws, and become a part of your history.

Or, are they coming to be set apart, are they unwilling to assimilate, do they have their own laws they want to establish, do they fundamentally disagree with your political culture?

Therein lies the difference between immigration and invasion.

In fact, one can argue that what some immigrants of late desire to do is to colonize Western countries because setting up your own enclave and demanding recognition of a no-go zone are exactly that.

In America, I am a big proponent of legal immigration of people who want to come to our country and assimilate into our culture.

I am all for people who want to come and embrace freedom, embrace our laws, work hard, learn our language, and pursue what we call the American Dream. These immigrants add to our strength.

Let me tell you my personal story. My parents immigrated to America over 40 years ago

They had never been to America; there was no such thing as an Internet. All they knew about America was that it was said to be a land of freedom and opportunity.

It was said to be a place where you could make your own way, a place where hard work was rewarded, a place where you were not guaranteed success, but you were guaranteed the opportunity to pursue your dreams.

My parents came in search of the American Dream, and they caught it. To them, America was not so much a place, it was an idea.

My dad and mom told my brother and me that we came to America to be Americans. Not Indian-Americans, simply Americans.

If we wanted to be Indians, we would have stayed in India. It's not that they are embarrassed to be from India, they love India.

But they came to America because they were looking for greater opportunity and freedom.


I do not believe in hyphenated Americans. This view gets me into some trouble with the media back home.

They like to refer to Indian-Americans, Irish-Americans, African-Americans, Italian-Americans, Mexican-Americans, and all the rest.

To be clear – I am not suggesting for one second that people should be shy or embarrassed about their ethnic heritage.

But, I am explicitly saying that it is completely reasonable for nations to discriminate between allowing people into their country who want to embrace their culture, or allowing people into their country who want to destroy their culture, or establish a separate culture within.

It is completely reasonable and even necessary for a sovereign nation to discriminate between people who want to join them and people who want to divide them.

And immigration policy should have nothing at all to do with the color of anyone's skin.

I find people who care about skin pigmentation to be the most dimwitted lot around. I want nothing to do with that.

Today, many countries seem to act as if their country is simply a geographic location on a map, a landmass with some borders and a flag with some random colors on it.

That is it, and that is all it is. There is nothing else.

There is no history, there is no culture, no cultural identity, there is nothing that binds them together, and there are no common beliefs, no accepted social mores, not even agreement on the idea of freedom or the laws of the land.

Many of these people don't consider themselves to be citizens of any country, they see themselves as citizens of the world, or citizens of some other land they were born in, or their parents were born in, or their parents' parents were born in.

There is a way forward, but it requires boldness, a commitment to human liberty and strong alliances among democratic nations.

Now is the time for freedom loving people to wake up.

1661 - Bad: Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England is ritually executed. WTF: after having been dead for two years. Silver Lining: Still eligible to vote in Chicago.

1798 Elected Tormentor civility sinks to a stunning new low in U.S. House when Rep. Matthew Lyon of Vermont spits at Rep. Roger Griswold of Connecticut.

1901 Suspiciously evasive when questioned about the destruction of 12 Kansas saloons by Prohibitionists, PIGster 'person of interest' Grammy heard muttering, "I'll show you closing time assholes!"

1948 India's religious tolerance flunks final exam when a Hindu kills Mahatma Gandhi because Gandhi believes Hindus and Moslems have equal value.

1978 Mutual Broadcasting Network scrapes the bottom of the radio host barrel, pulls out a suspenders wearing mumbler named Larry King.

1982 - A rat bastard, Richard Skrenta, deserves his own circle in hell for writing the first PC virus code. It was 400 lines long and disguised as an Apple boot program called "Elk Cloner".

IT TAKES BALLS TO PLAY IN THE PIGDOME
Do you feel entitled to the brass ring, blue ribbon, trophy or ring for merely showing up? Won't work here on PIG's field. Whether it's sports or any other form of competition, if you have the competitive spirit of a warrior and a PIGish sense of humor, click below for our newest Sports Section. Enjoy our cheerleading squad, pictured, we do!
Read More >>>

INVASION OF THE BORDER JUMPERS
For too long, America's borders have been a portal for the unwelcome, uninvited, undocumented, over diseased and crime ridden riff-raff and parasitic hordes. They swarm across our porous borders, from all over the world to pee, puke, spit and poop in our melting pot...and worse. Read More >>>

STEPPING IN IT!
Get your weekly whiff as Hambo serves up a real steaming load to those thart merit this odiferous awad. It's OK to look. It's OK to smell. It's even OK to touch. But for those that have the misfortune of stepping in it, they get...A Steaming Load Award.
Read More >>>


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PIG CALENDAR

January Is
Wishful Thinking Month

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All that optimism will vanish, when you remember HE is still POTUS
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VETERANS
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Attention all Veteran's and Active Duty Military: PIG is cordially inviting all Vets, active or retired, at home or in Irak, to send us notes or messages for posting in PIG.

>>> Read More >>>
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• ZERO TOLERANCE •
• • • • • • • • • • • Amerika's Schools Are Being Transformed Into Orwellian Wastelands With All-Out Lockstep-Style Assaults On Free Speech, Expression, And Even Innocent Fun By Ivory Tower Eggheads aka Zero Tolerance Zombies
>>> Read More >>>
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• O-CRAP! •

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Welcome to PIG's Outhouse, a new section that contains all the Obama crap that's been stinking up and overflowing our in-boxes. We had to create a new page because you have to actually earn a Steaming Load, and the folks running our Dumpster page don't want to lower their standards.
>>> Read More >>>

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• DUMPSTER DIVING •

NEED TO UP THE VOLTAGE ON YOUR SHOCK TREATMENTS?
THERE'S A BETTTER WAY.
GO DUMPSTER DIVING AND ENJOY PIG'S PRIVATE STASH.
>>> Read More >>>

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• SIGNS 'O THE TIMES •
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PISSED! POLITICALLY INCORRECT SIGNS SLOGANS & ENLIGHTENED DRAWINGS. TO PERUSE OUR COLLECTION OF OUT OF THE ORDINARY POSTERS, PICS & GRAPHICS. A REAL PISSER OF A PAGE
>>> Read More >>>
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• PIG'S PLAYLIST •
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PIG DECIDED TO TURN UP THE VOLUME MORE THAN A FEW NOTCHES BY UNLEASHING OUR PLAYLIST OF WHAT WE CONSIDER NOT JUST GREAT, BUT WAY INKORRECT TUNES.WE'RE SURE YOU WON'T EXPECT "RING AROUND THE ROSIES" OR "WE ARE THE WORLD'" MAKING OUR LIST. TO TUNE IN,
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOXIC TOONS •
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SICK OF DRABBLE AND DILBERT IN YOUR FISHWRAPS FUNNY PAGES? WELCOME TO TOXIC TOONS, HERE WE EXPLORE THE TOXIC SIDE OF TOONING AROUND
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• PIG PIN-UPS •
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IF YOU LIKE EYE CANDY, KEEP YOUR SHIRT SLEEVE NEARBY TO WIPE THE DROOL OFF YOUR CHINS. ENJOY.
>>> Read More >>>
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• TOE-TAGGED •
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NOTABLE PASSINGS
TO MOST, WE SAY FAREWELL. TO A FEW OTHERS, WE WONDER WTF TOOK YOU SO LONG.
BON VOYAGE.

>>> Read More >>>

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• FRIENDS OF PIG •
If you're ever in Las Vegas, and experiencing hunger pangs, and just have to have something hot, fresh and juicy, check yourself into:
The Heart Attack Grill
Tell 'Em PIG Sent You
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WWW.ARIZONABITEME.COM
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TEXAS FRED
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FARK
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HOPE 'N' CHANGE CARTOONS
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LOCK AND LOAD
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WOODPILE REPORT
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STRANGE POLITICS
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HONOR 1778
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SAY NO TO P.C.B.S
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MISS RED MUSES
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KNOTTING KORRECTNIK KNICKERS SINCE 2004.
HOLY REALITY CHECKS, BATMAN!



© Copyright 1993-2015 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
Copyright © 1993-2013: All written, creative, design and intellectual material is perpetrated by and the exclusive property of T.D. Treat and P.K. Crowley. All original graphics are the exclusive property of P.K. Crowley. Permission not needed to beg, borrow or steal material from The Free State of PIG, just cite your source as http://www.pigazette.com, or a link to us as your source, and everyone goes to bed in one piece.