"We (the People) should treat politicians the same as the old joke about lawyers...hang 90% of them & keep the remaining 10% scared honest." (PIGster Bryan)
We did our best to ignore it, but we failed. Eventually, we decided that it's time to 'man up' and do what we can to mitigate the potential damage, by warning you about the sorry pack of losers seeking one of those 'reserved' slots at the tax-funded trough. During our intensive training exercises, we did our best to anesthetize ourselves for this pitched, election cycle, battle, with a generous adult beverage infusion. All we got was an unforgettable hangover. We're finally ready to man up and face the fact that the mid-term chad-a-thon has reached critical mass.
We know what you're thinking and, as usual, you're wrong. This week's top story isn't another 'me too' ballot guide that you can find in all those mundane publications. This isn't a 'go team go' rant like the ones you'll hear from the News Nitwits cheering on the Demoncrats or the VRWC boom box hosts getting you fired up for the pachyderm punks.
This week's top story is about you, chad wrangling Sparky. Like it or not, you're going to be a party to putting some of these losers, users, abusers and scumbags into positions of political power. Accept the fact that you're going to be complicit in passing those ballot initiatives that are, invariably, riddled with unintended consequences. Like it or not you'll be suckered into plundering your own wallet to pour more money down a Nanny State rathole. We're determined to spare you that pain, with some timely chad-punching tips about making that trip to your designated polling place as painless as possible.
Our primary task, this week, is to bring you up to speed on some essential, election cycle concepts.
Political Candidates in General:
When it comes to the political arena, nice guys finish last and rational adults avoid it like it's tainted with ebola. If you're expecting to find the best and the brightest running for office, get over it. All the people who are worthy of our trust are much too smart, much too busy with their own life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, to wallow in the rancid muck that fills the political arena. You're more likely to find that lying used car dealing scumbag who is trying to matriculate into the big leagues on the ballot than a rational adult.
Admittedly TEA Party candidates - like Senator Ted Cruz - are an exception, when it comes to putting rational adults on the ballot. That's why both political clans feel threatened by them.
The popular myth is that we need to have an experienced legislature populated by seasoned pros who know how the system works. The theory behind this is that a rookie will spend too much time learning the ropes and too little time resolving all those pressing Nanny State issues. What a load of crap!
Those seasoned pros are the rat bastards who used their knowledge of the system to create this mess in the first place. They're the ones who caused the problems, so they should be the first ones to get pink slipped.
A rookie learning the ropes might not get much done in the problem solving area, but he, she, heshe or it will be much too busy learning how things work to make things worse.
Hambo's Law of Incumbency: When in doubt, vote the bastards out.
This is a very popular game, in states where chad punchers imposed term limits on Elected Tormentors. In theory, this 'stop me before vote for this loser again' notion is a viable response to intrenched incumbents. In practice, it's not a sure fire way to 'get the bums out', because, many of these political parasites simply change slots at the public trough, by running for a different Elected Tormentor job.
When you encounter familiar names running for a new, different, office, just say 'no' to this Elected Tormentor spin on musical chairs.
There's a lot of panty wadding whining about the Elected Tormentors, from sea to shining sea. They're in a snit concerning the fact that America's liberals (progressives) and conservatives are so, irredeemably polarized.
Conventional wisdom, as defined by these shocked and dismayed, panty wadding, worrywarts, dictates that the gaping divide which separates the left and the right can be bridged by 'moderates'. In other words, the world would be a spiffier place, if the left and right would scuttle their convictions. We'd all live happily ever after if they'd settle for that bland, rudderless, essentially meaningless 'it means whatever you want it to mean' crap that occupies the middle.
A moderate is a person who lacks meaningful convictions, a person who, like Rodney King, whines "can't we all just get along". Since the moderate is unburdened by any convictions, he, she, heshe or it is ready willing and eager to go whichever way the wind blows.
This group of rational adults is the chad punching gold standard. Independents, who are the reason both political clans are shrinking, are no longer willing to go with the status quo. They're unwilling to follow the Demoncrats over the cliff into Marxism, but that doesn't mean they're putty in pachyderm punk hands.
It takes more than some Elephant Clan hack giving lip service to Ronald Reagan to win over this group. Independents - the driving force behind the TEA Party Movement - weren't born yesterday. Unlike moderates, who go with the prevailing political winds, independents are those intellectually active individuals who approach each election cycle player, or issue, with a compelling, Joe Friday mindset: "Just the facts, political punk Sparky. Just the facts."
Buried in Bullshit:
These elections are, at best, a blatant insult to our intelligence. At worst, American elections are a rigged game, a scam, and We the People the are only ones who aren't supposed to be in on this dirty little secret. What secret? John and Jane Q. Public are the marks in a long-running scam, whose pot of ill-gotten gold is getting their 'approval' for anything the Nanny State wants to do.
Voting - no matter how things turn out - is your way of 'approving' of the results. It's what Ayn Rand calls 'the sanction of the victim'. In too many cases, voting is the same as pinning a 'kick me' sign on our own back.
Unhappily, this barrage of bullshit has a long track record of success. During any election cycle, all it takes to fool 'enough of the people' is using the right buzz words. For Elephant Clan candidates, the preferred buzz words are Senate Takeover, stop Obama, and assorted other Reagan-esque flourishes. Many pachyderm political players put on Reagan's mantle, while painting their Jackass Party opponent as the second coming of Karl Marx. "I suck, but he, she, heshe or it sucks more" is still alive and well, this year.
The only thing that both political clans have in common is a pathological fear of the TEA Party and its candidates.
We are, once again, obligated to report that many people, too damn many people, get hypnotized by the candidates' bullshit. We recognize the fact that politicians cannot change their stripes, much like a rattlesnake can't change their nature or pattern. They do have a lot in common, though. Snakes shed their skin, according to the season. Politicians change their tune according to deep pocket lobbyists and the latest 'this is what will fool them, today' polling.
These first gained popularity in Mexifornia after a voter initiative, Prop 13, kicked the state's money-grubbers out of the pockets of certain property owners. Since then, this ballot initiative bypass around a state's Elected Tormentors has been used with mixed results.
The stinkiest fact about the modern ballot initiative is the way they're packaged. The advertising blitz that accompanies each initiative is deliberate deception at its best. In many memorable cases, 'yes' means 'no' and 'no' means 'yes'. Invariably, any ad you hear concerning these stinkers is completely detached from objective reality.
The primary problem with ballot initiatives is that the legalese used to write these bad boys is, invariably, infused with some unintended consequences that usually make the cure worse than the disease.
Unfortunately, even initiatives written clearly present their own pitfalls. The measure that inflicted high speed rail on Mexifornia included several etched in stone conditions written in unambiguous terms. Fast forward a couple years and you find high speed rail perps pretending those conditions don't exist. They've flouted every one of them and they're getting away with it.
Furthermore, and this one really pisses us off, if you tried to read the full text of the ballot initiative, you'd be mired in brain fogging legalese that is so Byzantine it even confuses the law degree packing scumbags who wrote it. That's why, even if one you like passes, it will, invariably, be nuked in court by a black-robed killjoy.
When the Nanny State puts a tax raising initiative on the ballot, a veritable bullshit blizzard ensues. One of the biggest steaming loads is the claim that the tax is temporary. You should live so long.
'Temporary' is a whopper, but it runs a distant second to 'lockbox'. After moving you to tears about the dire need for the tax loot - neglecting to tell you that the Nanny State created and/or greatly exacerbated the problem - they try to seal the deal with 'lockbox'. Lockbox is the guarantee that all the money collected via the new tax - or tax increase - will be locked up in a special account which can only be used for the purpose set forth in the ballot measure.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
This year, numerous rational adults are touting this mid-term election cycle as 'the last chance to save America from Obamunism'. Rational adults, whom I respect, insist that it's 'make it or break it' time, when it comes to our inalienable individual liberty. I tend to agree, by and large, but I'm troubled by the choices I'm offered. In my PIGish opinion, there aren't any good options in this election. Does that mean you shouldn't bother voting? Not really.
The fun fact about the ballot is that, the things that hit you where you live are seldom at the top of the ballot. The worst day to day pestilence inflicted by the Nanny State Nitwits is, invariably, local. That's where voting can make a difference in your life. It is, quite frankly, the only part of this election cycle insanity that makes a lick of sense.
On the statewide, and nationwide, level it, boils down to 'bad', 'worse', or 'holy crap'.
If you want to go for the lesser of two evils, so be it.
If you think there's a meaningful difference between a neo-Marxist America and a neo-Socialist America, so be it.
If you think keeping a skunk you know is preferable to learning to tolerate the stench of a new skunk, so be it.
You have, for the moment, the 'privilege' of deciding what kind of 'kick me' sign you want to pin on your own back. It's your call...It's your circle of hell. We do, however, feel compelled to serve up this venerable dose of conventional wisdom: "Be careful what you ask for, because you might get it."
Once you've made that fateful choice, there's only one thing to do. Assume the position, we the sheeple Sparky. What position? You need to drop your drawers, bend over, then get ready to learn what the Tome really means when it warns: it is better to give than to receive. When Neal Boortz says 'elections have consequences', it's his way of saying 'bend over and take it like a man'. It's the predictable result of this chad-a-rific fun.
We the People are assigned the task of hiring our own Elected Tormentors and changing the political landscape via voter initiatives. Since that decision is our call, it means that We the People, need to impose meaningful, liberty-enhancing, criteria. Keep these PIGish suggestions uppermost in your mind, when you make that fateful decision.
It's your liberty at stake, Sparky. If you don't defend it, who will?