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LIBERAL LIP-FLAP Which Loudmouth Lefty Would You Like To Grant Permanent, Irrevocable Residence on the International Space Station? • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Michael Moore* Al Gore Obama Zombies Barney Frank  • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •   *Due To Intergalactic Freight Costs, Tonage, Limited Food & Oxygen Supply, Michael Moore Counts As Two Votes. • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • AND THE WINNER IS...

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PIG HEARS FROM...YOU
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We the PIGs Man Up, By Confronting Our Readers Who Have Unresolved Issues With Our PIGish Prose.
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When we began our journey on Al Gore’s Information Superhighway, we did so with our eyes, and ears, wide open. From the start, We the PIGs deliberately set out to bestow our PIGish enlightenment on those chronically needy individuals who were long overdue for a ‘reality check’. We did so knowing, full well, that this painful - for them - process would involve painting a rhetorical bull’s-eye on their sacred cows. Nobody’s fool, we understood that there would be some blowback. It goes with the territory, when you step on as many toes - in our delightfully PIGish way, of course - as We the PIGs do.

Just for the hell of it, and because we can, We the PIGs will reveal some of our close, PIG reader, encounters of the blowback kind. Since many of these readers are a fixture in our lives - in one way or another - their identities have been changed to protect the fragile egos of the hypersensitive. Yeah, we know, we’re getting soft in our old age. We double dog dare you: ask us if we care.

We’ll also regale you with some encounters, wherein a reader asks us our opinion on a topic, which hasn’t been raised in the pages of PIG. In these cases, the reader wants to be there, when we launch a preemptive strike on a given individual, or topic.

Snooki
If you’re a regular visitor to Hambo’s Hammer, you know that Iggy "The Grifter" Kowalski is Hambo’s personal financial guru, a fun fact that has Hambo on a first name basis with the auditors in the local IRS office. After completing a two-year graybar stint at Club Fed for tax fraud, Iggy is out and about, traveling far and wide, in search of new victims clients.

After his recent return from a scouting expedition to New Jersey, he buttonholed Hambo for a conversation about a recurring target of our editor’s rhetorical abuse: Jersey Shore’s Snooki.

Iggy: "You’re still alive! I’m shocked that one of your readers hasn’t turned you into a crime statistic."

Hambo: "When you’re a fun guy like me, you learn to be relentlessly charming in such situations."

Iggy: "That explains it. Oh, speaking of your many victims, I had a close encounter with the one and only Snooki, while I was on my Jersey scouting trip. Did you know that - contrary to your vicious verbal abuse - she looks quite charming, when viewed through the bottom of a standard issue beer mug?"

Hambo: "Duly noted, but, sooner or later, you will put the mug down, then there she’ll be in all her freak show grandeur."

Glenn Beck
As expected, Hambo’s recent rants about ‘Glenn Gantry’ didn’t go unnoticed. We the PIGs expected the predictable blowback to come from our Professor of Piety, PIGster J. Instead, it came from an acquaintance of the PIGdom whom we’ll call ‘Saintly Sue’.

Saintly Sue hurled this rhetorical chin music at Hambo in a missive to the PIGdom: "Why are you picking on Glenn Beck? He’s a deeply religious man whose life has been touched by God himself. Glenn is a 21st century Moses who has been personally selected by God to lead wayward Americans to the Godly promised land created for us by the Founding Fathers. Leave him alone and let him perform this sacred duty."

After reading the missive, Hambo enlightened Saintly Sue with this dose of pagan prose: "I’m suitably thrilled that Glenn has a new hobby. Furthermore, I wish him well on this journey to this Godly promised land. My only problem with Glenn’s new hobby is the TIMING of it. We the People have an important election looming on the near horizon and the LAST thing we need is this Glenn Gantry distraction at this critical point in the election cycle. Why couldn’t he wait until AFTER the election to start his trek to this Godly promised land? Was that too much to ask?"

Justin Bieber
During a recent Summer road trip, a FOP - Friend Of PIG - blundered into Bieber country. This hairbag hormone gorilla was, our FOP reported, everywhere, especially on the radio. When our FOP returned, he solicited our opinion of Justin. Were we up to the challenge? Yup.

Cue the trumpet fanfare, Maestro, because here, for the first time, is our PIGish take on the Bieber: "Justin Bieber is a pop tart whose only demonstrable ‘skills’ are a bad haircut and the inexplicable ability to make wenchlet panties puddle."

When we laid the forgoing on our FOP, he seemed distressed: "But my 14 year old nephew is a Bieber fanatic!"

Undaunted, we had a response for that, too: "In that case, you might want to buy him a lad-sized pair of Barney Franks brand chaps for Christmas. Congratulations, FOP Sparky, it’s a GLAAD BAAG."

Moderate Mecca Maniacs
Last week’s Top Story elicited an outraged howl from a reader whom we decided to call Tolerant Toby. He found this particular passage to be an unpardonable assault on Muslims, in general, and Moderate Muslims in particular:

‘Tolerant’ Islam is an enduring, 7th century myth which aids and abets Mecca Mania’s explicitly written - in their Tome - plans for world conquest. If they have their way, intolerance will no longer be a problem because, when the Jihadizes are in charge you’ll be tolerant, or you’ll be dead.

Incensed, Tolerant Toby demanded: "Why don’t you ever discuss the rank and file Muslims, the Moderate Muslims who embrace America’s individual liberty and love what this country has to offer? Why can’t you talk about THEM, for a change?"

Okay, Toby, let’s discuss the Moderate Muslims. We’ll begin, by noting that one of the key tenets of Islam is this: the Mecca Maniac holy book specifically authorizes, encourages, Islamikazes to lie, early and often, when talking to non-Islamikazes. Given that fun, Islamikaze, fact, We the PIGs concluded that Moderate Muslims are the ones whose ability to lie with a straight face rivals an ace con man, or his brother in prevarication, a used car salesmen. The other Islamikazes, the ones who blow a gasket whenever an infidel sneezes, are the Mecca Maniacs who never developed the Moderate Muslim’s lying ability. Are we up to speed on Moderate Muslims now Toby?

The Ground Zero Mosque
While on a supply mission to restock certain essential, PIG Bunker, items, We the PIGs visited a nearby outpost of American capitalism. For our purposes, all you need to know is that this outpost is run by Friends Of PIG who are immigrants from Indonesia. We the PIGs know, from prior conversations with these FOP, that they are Christians who were compelled to leave their native land because of Indonesia’s relentlessly ‘tolerant’ Islamikaze majority.

Avid readers of PIG, they know how we feel about Mecca Mania, and they praise us for it. Despite their support of our views on Mecca Mania, they still gave us an earful when we made a pitstop at their shop. During our visit to their outpost of capitalism, our FOP came unglued over the Ground Zero Mosque, and assorted other Islamikaze infestations. "Are you Americans INSANE? Why are you letting them do here, what they did in our country? Why are you letting them destroy all that is good in America by imposing Sharia? When are you going to wake up and STOP THEM, before it’s TOO LATE? We have seen this happen in our old country and we will not let it happen to our new one. The first thing you need to do...we need to do...is stop this Ground Zero Mosque."

At that point, they went ‘native’, and ranted for several memorable moments in their other language. What, if anything, did We the PIGs say in America’s defense? We said nothing, because there’s no way to defend the indefensible.

Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse
In a missive to the FSOP, one reader questioned our Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse choices: Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Tila Tequila. Our reader insisted that San Fran Nan Pelosi belonged on the list, a contention that forced us to, publically, define our selection criteria. In order to qualify as one of the Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse, the candidate must meet these standards:

• The candidate is, essentially, famous for being famous. If she ever had a meaningful career - LiLo, for example - the candidate’s ability, her moment in the spotlight, such as it was, is ancient history.

• The candidate’s life is a never ending stream of tabloid headlines.

• The candidate’s nads have seen more traffic than the Holland Tunnel.

Obviously, as noxious as she might be, San Fran Nan Pelosi doesn’t have the right, Four Bimbos of the Apocalypse, stuff. Are we all up to speed on this PIGish fun now?

The One
This one reached critical mass, while one of our PIG Staffers was spending quality time with a visiting family member. It happened when the visitor’s wenchlet daughter - a government cess-school inmate - nailed her host with a glare, saying: "I showed your PIG stuff to my teacher, and she says you’re a racist, because you say nasty stuff about President Obama. My teacher says its hate speech, so there."

Our PIG Staffer did the math, before concluding, quite rightly, that the brainwashed wenchlet was brain dead, making any thoughtful response a waste of time. She is beyond help, for now, but you might not be, so we’ll explain it to you.

We don’t give a crap about The One’s racial pedigree. We don’t give a crap about his supernaturalism, whatever that might be. We do have fundamental issues with what Barry Obama says. We do have fundamental issues with what Barry Obama does with his POTUS powers. We would have fundamental issues with ANYONE who says what he says and does what he does. If you insist on calling that ‘racist’, we can’t stop you, but we, respectfully, suggest that you pull your head out of your ass.

It’s time for a brewskie, PIGsters. The complaint desk is closed, until next time.

Hambo Sez
AP - Dublin (Georgia) - Dublin to fine residents for saggy pants

City leaders in Dublin could soon fine people if their sagging pants or skirts expose their underpants.

Dublin Mayor Phil Best told WMAZ-TV that he plans to sign an ordinance Tuesday that would fine violators $25 for a first offense and $200 for an additional offense.

The rule passed this week by the city council prohibits people from wearing pants or skirts more than three inches below the tops of the hips and exposing any skin or underwear below.

Best said the rule promotes mutual respect. He said not everyone wants to see other people's underwear.

The rule has its critics. Richard Moore said he doesn't like baggy pants. But he said people have a right to dress the way they want.

Hambo sez: If the Elected Tormentors think the sight of some teenager’s skivvies is as bad as it gets, they’ve led a sheltered life. One look at Chaps Boy’s fat ass flapping in the breeze would have them begging for eye bleach, for all the good it would do them: what has been seen, cannot be unseen.

Moonbattery - Injustice Department Sues Employers for Asking to See Green Cards

How hostile is the Obama Regime to employers? As hostile as it is to immigration enforcement, as this bizarre revelation makes clear:

Employers who hire illegal immigrants can be fined, but the Obama administration warned this week that they also can be fined for asking legal immigrants to show their green cards before hiring them.

The Justice Department's civil rights division sued the Maricopa County Community Colleges in Arizona, seeking damages from schools for having "intentionally committed document abuse discrimination." … Requesting a green card amounts to "immigration-related employment discrimination," said Thomas E. Perez, the assistant attorney general for civil rights.

Then what is the point of even issuing green cards? There is no point; when it comes to immigration, everything our rulers do is a charade. Their purpose is to swamp the country with tens of millions of unskilled Third World peasants who wouldn't give a bent peso for America's sacred principles of liberty and self-reliance, thus ensuring a socialist majority. Everything that does not advance this purpose is deliberately rendered ineffective.

Not that Big Government won't take every opportunity to scapegoat employers and kick them in the teeth:

On one hand, employers have been told they need to do more to verify that their workers are legal and authorized to work in the United States. Federal immigration law says hiring "an unauthorized alien" can result in fines of up to $3,000 per worker. However, another provision of the same law bars employers from requesting "more or different documents" than are needed to prove a noncitizen's legal status.

Hambo sez: With bullcrap like this spewing from the Obama Regime, is anyone still confused about the non-recovery? I didn’t think so.

PIGish Solutions
In Seville, Spain, the City Council authorized the construction of a Mosque on one of the empty pieces of land. The citizens did not want the mosque built in their vicinity and found a brilliant solution. They buried a pig in the land, and made the news public. The Islamic law prohibits the construction of a mosque the lands desecrated by remains of pigs, therefore the Muslims had to renounce the construction on this desecrated land.

Astute Sevillans ...The commentaries of the Civil Guard (Police) are very interesting. Maybe it is the solution needed by New York to avoid the construction of a mosque in the vicinity of the twin towers.
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MEDIA: CELEBRITY MARKETING

• Recent Notable Deaths
To most we say farewell. To others, we say good riddance!
• The United States...As We Knew It
• Patricia Neal, Award Winning Actress
• Arnold Friberg, American Illustrator
• George Steinbrenner, Baseball Magnate
• Robert "KKK" Byrd, total Waste Of Time
• Manute Bol, NBA Star
• Jimmy Dean, Singer, Sausage Slinger
• John Wooden, An American Classic

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LOCK AND LOAD
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