It’s that silly season again when lazy "alleged" journalists around the globe start taking the easy way out when facing a looming deadline by running and end of the year awards list up the flagpole. Is PIG going to stoop that low to meet our Top Story Deadline on a holiday weekend? You better damn believe it, Sparky.

Why would you expect us to pass up a chance to salute the good guys and administer some PIGish bitch-slaps on the richly deserving. We scoured our own archives, solicited suggestions from you our devoted PIGsters, sampled the lunacy that passes for journalism in the 21st century, then searched low and lower for those qualified to be honored or pummeled by one of PIG's Golden Oinks of the Year.

PIG's Golden Oinks Selection Committee singles out the following individuals and/or groups for special PIG attention for their amazing, amusing, and or inspiring antics during 2014.

[We will be adding awards periodically thru January 2,014.]

December 26, 2014

Holiday Idea of the Year

Arianna Simon, a 17-year-old Rockland, NY wenchlet hates answering the same set of question, from every relative who attends a family holiday gathering. Instead of simply complaining, she borrowed a notion from web pages who have a similar problem.

Her personal FAQ sheet included answers to the boring generic questions that she just wasn't prepared to answer at the dinner table.

The leaflet covered hot topics for the teenager including what college she might attend, if she has a boyfriend and her age.

The three-page pamphlet was entitled 'Frequently asked questions' and included a smiling pic of Arianne looking her best on the front cover.

Inside was a message explaining the purpose behind the hand-out. 'If you refrain from asking me these questions that I have nicely provided you the answers to, we will have a happy and loving thanksgiving. Thank you,' she wrote.

'I realize that some people are genuinely interested in what you have to say, but sometimes I find that these generic questions are just used to fill the silences. I love talking to my family members, but I feel like so much time is wasted while answering repetitive questions.' [Daily Mail]

It worked so well at Thanksgiving, she had her Christmas FAQ locked and loaded.

Disappointment of the Year

In September, a knife packing dude invaded the Red Shed and got into the presidential residence before they nabbed him. My lovely bride was singularly unthrilled, when I told her Barry came through unscathed.

President Barack Obama and his daughters had just left the White House by helicopter on Friday evening when the Secret Service says 42-year-old Omar J. Gonzalez scaled the fence, darting across the lawn and through the unlocked North Portico doors before officers finally tackled him. [WFAA].

If Omar was paying attention, he'd understand that the Red Shed is very low on the list Barry's known hangouts.

Here are Barry's top five hangouts.

1) Nearest golf course.

2) Anyplace a Barack-sucking news crew is willing to interview him.

3) A Jackass Party fund raiser.

4) On vacation.

5) Overseas, showing them in person how lucky they are that he's our president, not theirs.

Get with the program, Omar.

Famous Last Words

A boob tube news wench for an Alaskan station made her final moments on air so memorable, she landed a slot on this page.

The following clip is from a live newscast where the reporter, Charlo Greene, KTVA Anchorage, Alaska says "F**k It, I Quit!"

As witnessed by the video, we can all see she's headed for greener pastures, for sure, dudes.

Blubbering 'Bitch' of the Year

Alleged, the incident happened in 2006.

Chris Kyle was killed in February 2013.

Jesse Ventura waited until after Kyle was murdered, before he faced Kyle's widow in court.

On July 30, 2014 a Minnesota jury gave this fucking scumbag a $1.845 million dollar payday. Suing a widow and her children is real manly of you, asshole.

[The] Minnesota jury decided..that Ventura had been defamed when Kyle alleged he had punched Ventura in a bar in 2006 over comments he made. The sniper claimed Ventura disparaged Navy SEALs and said that they "deserved to lose some" for their actions in the war. Ventura, in turn, insisted the whole event never happened, and the majority of the jury — it was an unusual split 8-2 decision — appeared to agree with him.

But in taking money from the Kyle estate, Ventura is taking a pounding from many military supporters and veterans. The common refrain: Even if Kyle lied about Ventura, they say, the defamation case should have been dropped after Kyle was shot to death on a gun range in Texas in 2013. [WaPo]

Heroic to a fault, this whining BITCH is also suing the people who made the 'American Sniper' movie.

December 23, 2014

Close Call of the Year

The porn wranglers at Vivid Video took us to the very gates of hell, when they offered Honey Boo Boo's mom, June, a cool million $$$ to do a sex tape. We all breathed easier, narrowly escaping that sight nuking spectacle, when Mama June turned them down.

There isn't enough eye bleach in the world for that one.

Mom of the Year

Porn Star Kardashian aced this one, while she was in Europe. In her mad dash to get to the airport, she left something behind in her hotel room, her infant daughter. That award winning level of mother-daughter bonding tugs at the old heart strings.

Retarded Decision of The Year

Co-Chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment Amy Pascal got warmed up, by letting Kim Jong-basement boy stampede her into flushing a movie down the crapper. Determined to really ruin her company she put Al Sharpton in a position of power:

Hollywood came to the Rev. Al Thursday as embattled Sony exec Amy Pascal met privately with the black leader for 90 minutes in a bid to fix the fallout from the cyberhacking leak of embarrassing, racially charged emails.

Pascal agreed to let Sharpton have a say in how Sony makes motion pictures, in an effort to combat what he called "inflexible and immovable racial exclusion in Hollywood."

"We have agreed to having a working group deal with the racial bias and lack of diversity in Hollywood," said Sharpton.

He said Sony would work closely with his National Action Network, the National Urban League, the NAACP and the Black Women's Round Table to "see if we can come up with an immediate plan to deal with it."

Kiss it goodbye Sony, you're royally screwed.

Kids Author of the Year

Rush Limbaugh rode off with this one on a talking horse called Liberty. His Rush Revere books engage the young readers with stories that make them eyewitnesses to the early, pivotal, moments of American history.

Team Owner of the Year

Washington Redskins owner, Dan Snyder narrowly edged out L.A. Clippers owner, Donald Sterling to bag this one. Sterling looked unbeatable, when, despite being suspended by the NBA, he finessed Steve Balmer into paying $2 billion for the Los Angeles Clippers.

Sterling's payday is impressive but not enough to edge out Dan Snyder's unflinching refusal to change his teams name from Redskins to something more inclusive.

Victim of the Year

If it wasn't for bad luck, he wouldn't have any luck at all. The poor bastard has been to hell and back, numerous times. I refer to that icon of victimhood, Obama's imaginary son.

President Obama said. "It's one thing for me to be mistaken for a waiter at a gala. It's another thing for my son to be mistaken for a robber and to be handcuffed, or worse, if he happens to be walking down the street and is dressed the way teenagers dress.

Once again, Barack Obama's imaginary son has found himself unfairly in trouble with the law. If you recall, his imaginary son was also shot by an imaginary neighborhood watch guard in the same style as Trayvon Martin. But Obama's imaginary son is plucky and resilient and has lived a hard life in the hood so he keeps bouncing back.

In his life, Obama's imaginary son has been shot at, concussed out of football, and racially profiled. Yet he keeps picking himself up and carrying on. Obama's imaginary son should be an example to us all. No matter what kind of imaginary circumstances we find ourselves in, we can continue on with our imaginary lives. [Ricochet]

Futile Political Exercise of the Year

In November, We the People gave the GOP control over both houses of Congress. Less than a month later, we watched in horror, while the pachderm punks deliberately pissed it away in the lame duck session. The omnibus funding bill gave The One EVERYTHING he wanted, making the GOP's control of Congress in January meaningless.

If anyone still doubts that 'of, by, and for the people' has been tossed on history's scrap heap they're dangerously deluded. Welcome to the banana republic.

Billboard of the Year

Poem of the Year

There once was a thug named Brown

Who bum-rushed a cop with a frown

Six bullets later

He met his creator

Then his homies burnt down the town

Policy of the Year

In Hot Springs (Arkansas) the owner of the Gun Cave, an indoor firing range, posted a "No Muslims Allowed" message on their web page.

In a statement, which has since been taken down, the owner [Jan Morgan] lists reasons for banning Muslims from the Gun Cave Indoor Firing Range in Hot Springs. She cites incidents like the fort hood shooting, 9/11 and the recent beheading of a woman at an Oklahoma workplace.

Escape of the Year

Free at last! After 22 years in Kardashian hell, Bruce Jenner divorced the uber harpy, Kris Kardashian. Early on, Jenner was the Kardashian klan's primary a$$et, under Kris's tight-fisted management. That was then, but she has bigger fish to fry now.

Bruce was kicked to the curb in 2007, when Porn Star Kardashian's (Kim) 2003 vintage sex tape earned her a $5 million dollar payday, plus enough notoriety to transform the lard ass bimbo into a marketable product. She has been a cash cow for big mama Kris since 2007 and is now worth at least $65 million dollars. When a woman whose talent is limited to a butt so big it has its own Zip Code and a sex tape is worth that much, I'm compelled to quote Yakov Smirnoff. "What a country!"

It took 7 more years for Jenner to break free.

PIGish Ad of the Year

Room Temperature Hero

Longtime owner of the Yankees, George Steinbrenner, died 4 years ago, but this week one of his legacy endeavors stepped up to help the children of a murdered police officer.

The Yankee Silver Shield Foundation will pay for the education of the 13-year-old son and a college-age son of Rafael Ramos, who was gunned down along with his partner, Wenjian Liu. Liu, who only recently was married, has no children.

Steinbrenner's foundation has, for 32 years, provided for the education of the children of tri-state area police officers, fire fighters, state police and Port Authority employees who died in the line of duty, the New York Daily News reports. Steinbrenner created the foundation in 1982 after seeing a news account of four children flanking their mother and holding an American flag at the funeral of their father, an NYPD officer who had been killed in the line of duty. From the News:

"Who's going to take care of these kids," Steinbrenner asked his friend, former Olympian Jim Fuchs, who would run the foundation until his death, also in 2010. "We are."

The foundation, now run by Fuchs' daughter Casey, has paid for the educations of thousands of children of fallen NYPD, FDNY, state police and Port Authority workers in the tri-state area, as well as 700 children who lost a parent in the terrorists attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. [WaPo]

We salute the Yankee Silver Shield Foundation for their 3 decades of great work.

Tarnished Cultural Icon

According to at least a dozen women, everyone's favorite TV dad, Bill Cosby, has a very dark side. His 'romantic' moves involve slipping them a Micky then having his way with them after they pass out.

If Bill likes boinking immobile women, there's a better way. Millions of husbands complain that 'yes, she smoking hot, but when I get her in bed, she lies there like a corpse'. If that's your problem, call Bill. Whatever you can $queeze out of him will be a bargain, compared to the legal fees he's paying.

PIGish Yearbook Image

Predictably, Upstate New York high school senior, Rebekah Rorick was shot down by a faculty clown, when she submitted this image for inclusion in the 2015 Broadalbin-Perth High School yearbook. Unwilling to take 'no' for an answer, our heroine pressed the issue at a school board meeting. After she produced a photo from the 2012 yeabook showing a senior with a rifle, the board overruled the faculty clown.

"There wasn't any reason not to (allow it)," president Robert Becker told the newspaper. He said he understood the school's initial reaction to the photo, saying it was due to what he called "heightened sensitivity" to firearms in schools.

Superintendent Stephen Tomlinson told WTEN the photo does not violate the district's policy against weapons.

"She is not holding the gun in a malicious manner," he said. "She is not pointing it anywhere. It's to me, in my opinion, a nice photograph of a young lady in the Adirondack region that enjoys hunting." [Fox News]

"There wasn't any reason not to (allow it)," president Robert Becker told the newspaper. He said he understood the school's initial reaction to the photo, saying it was due to what he called "heightened sensitivity" to firearms in schools.

Superintendent Stephen Tomlinson told WTEN the photo does not violate the district's policy against weapons.

"She is not holding the gun in a malicious manner," he said. "She is not pointing it anywhere. It's to me, in my opinion, a nice photograph of a young lady in the Adirondack region that enjoys hunting."

You're our kind of gal, darlin'.

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Have you seen our 2013 Golden Oinks of the Year?