KULTURE | PIG's HALL OF FAME

ENSHRINEMENTS
HONORABLE MENTIONS

PIG recognizes incorrectness at every level. The following have distinguished themselves and have made their way onto the pages of PIG in their own way. Not quite, or not yet elevated to Hall of Fame status, PIG feels as if these individuals are worthy of mention in PIG's hallowed Hall.

> DENNIS MILLER
> JAMES WOOD
> TOBY KEITH
> TAMMY BRUCE
> CHARLIE DANIELS
> TED NUGENT

PIG's Hall of Fame salutes those individuals whose actions or words significantly enhanced our inalienable individual liberty. This group includes those pioneering individuals who provided liberty-loving individuals the vital tools needed to defend their freedom from those who seek to trample it into submission.

CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS / AMERIGO VESPUCCI
Two dudes who got 'severely lost' and accidentally bumped into the new world.

THOMAS PAINE
His stellar prose gave American Patriots the courage to continue their struggle for liberty during the American Revolution's darkest hours.

THOMAS JEFFERSON
Brought a clear, compelling vision for individual liberty to life with his timeless call to arms:
The Declaration of Independence

RONALD REAGAN
The PIG staff likes Ron...Always have, always will. No apologies, explanations or excuses will be offered. He's in, period.

MARTIN LUTHER KING
If you don't understand this warrior for racial justice's contribution to individual liberty, there's no hope for you. Unlike the Ethnocrats that work tirelessly to dismantle his life's work, Reverend King understood the salient fact that we are individuals, not randomly assigned immutable traits.
JACK KILBY
"Jack Kilby" isn't a household name, but this Nobel laureate is the primary reason that your trusty P.C. isn't the size of the Goodyear blimp. Mister Kilby's contribution to our liberty can't be overstated, because, without his invention all the vital information we need wouldn't be a close as our computer, cell phone or PDA. And how, you ask, did one man accomplish all this? Jack Kilby did all this and much more when he invented the microchip that is the basic building block for all our high tech tools and toys. Jack Kilby made an essential contribution to our liberty. He created that first, vital, layer of the Information superhighway.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
Gave individuals from all political persuasions a robust forum on which to air their views when he made talk radio a fixture in Amerikan culture. No matter what you think of Rush's political philosophy, he belongs here because he invigorated this nation's political debate by adding new voices (millions of them) to the political discussion.

TIMOTHY BERNERS-LEE

A Brit physicist and computer scientist who developed the World Wide Web, paving the way for our 21st Century Information Revolution that puts so much vital information at each individual's fingertips. Armed with a world crammed with information resources, sovereign individuals are ready and able to battle the tyrannical forces fostering ignorance.

(A well deserved assist goes to Marc Andreessen, who founded Netscape Communications, a company that simplified the World Wide Web for the novice user with his legendary Web Browser. Thanks to Netscape, the information you need to make an informed decision is only a mouse-click away.)

SAM ADAMS & JOHN HANCOCK
Orchestrated the Boston Tea Party. Two shysters who had trouble dealing with authority figures (King George).

JACKIE ROBINSON via BRACH RICKEY
This Robinson dude is cool, but the man who deserves the credit is the guy who broke the prevailing rules and hired him.

GALILEO GALILEI
A career asshat who dared to prove that the prevailing, Holy Roller-correct Earth as the center of the universe cosmology was God Squad bovine excrement.

WILLIAM SHAKEPEARE
His timeless prose has inspired us for centuries and will continue to do so, unless the multiculturalists succeed in having his works banned from sea to shining sea.

HUGH HEFNER
Created the first, high class wanker magazine, a publication that continues to deliver stellar booty to your mailbox, every damn month.

AL BUNDY
A fictional character who made every married dude in Amerika understand that things could be much, much worse. Al, single-handedly, managed to outrage pious pinheads and the NO-NAD's. It don't get much better than that!

MARK TWAIN
Twain gets a heartfelt nod from PIG for managing to piss off just about everybody. The leftists seek to ban his stellar tome, 'Huckleberry Finn', because it contains the infamous 'N' word. Vast Right-Wingnuts seek to ban his stellar tome, 'Letters From Earth', because it reveals Holy Roller supernaturalism's utter irrationality.

GEORGE ORWELL
If you only read one book this year, make it 'Animal Farm' by George Orwell. Half a century ago, this brilliant writer described the group-think hell into which Amerika has fallen. If you want to understand the Amerikan Nanny State and its inevitable culmination, read 'Animal Farm'.
BARRY GOLDWATER
A man of unshakeable convictions, Barry Goldwater dared to swim against the political tide. He was routinely pummeled by the big government loving asshats inside the D. C. Beltway, but it never made him back down. Before Ronald Reagan, before Rush Limbaugh, before Ron Paul, there was a man of courage, a man of conviction, a man who dared to shout the truth when a hurricane of statist bloviating tried to silence him.
If you venerate a small, constitutionally-correct, liberty-maximizing government, you need to give homage to Barry Goldwater, the man who kept these ideals alive during some of liberty’s darkest hours.

HOMER JAY SIMPSON
PIG salutes Homer for his soaring eloquence. Armed with one simple expression, Homer provides thought-provoking commentary on virtually everything. For PIG "D'oh" sums it up perfectly.

© Copyright 1993-2016 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette


 

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