the name. Agent Oink.
Oink's lineage is hotly contested, due, in large part, to his heretofore
unsubstantiated claim that he's a direct descendant of the child produced
by a weekend tryst between wench-wrangler emeritus, Rudolph Valentino,
and the original undercover hottie, Mata Hari. Although we can't confirm
this Oink-perpetrated rumor, PIG does opine that this could explain
Oink's legendary prowess with the fair sex and his affinity for the
Oink plan that is gaining momentum among the Operation: O.I.N.K.
- Obliterate Infestations of Nanny-State Korrectness leadership
is Oink's 'Operation Mexifornia Freedom'. His recently de-classified,
initial, proposal includes the following:
that Rumsfeld and 'W' put Uncle Sam in the tyrant-eviction business,
Agent Oink plots to have Mexifornia declared a terrorist state and
have the victorious troops returning from Iraq invade this left
coast pest hole. The Abrams tanks from the 3rd Infantry would be
ideal. Undoubtedly, this will entail 'house-to-house' fighting in
such terrorist strongholds as Sacramento, Berkeley, Santa Monica,
Hollywood, Laguna Beach, and San Francisco. A bunker buster attack
on the state legislature is not out of the question.
Mexifornia Freedom Plan B involves allowing Mexifornia dwelling
Colonistas to reclaim this socialist pesthole for Mexico, after
which we declare them a terrorist state. This plan is further enhanced
by the historical president provided by our Civil War. If Abe Lincoln
found Constitutional justification for invading the South, we should
have no problem justifying a similar military assault on the Left
you can see, Oink isn't suffering from a dormant imagination. There
are lots more where that came from, and PIG promises to bring you each
action-packed Agent Oink adventure, the instant we can get them declassified.