Oink's the name. Agent Oink.

Agent Oink's lineage is hotly contested, due, in large part, to his heretofore unsubstantiated claim that he's a direct descendant of the child produced by a weekend tryst between wench-wrangler emeritus, Rudolph Valentino, and the original undercover hottie, Mata Hari. Although we can't confirm this Oink-perpetrated rumor, PIG does opine that this could explain Oink's legendary prowess with the fair sex and his affinity for the sleuthing arts.

One Oink plan that is gaining momentum among the Operation: O.I.N.K. - Obliterate Infestations of Nanny-State Korrectness leadership is Oink's 'Operation Mexifornia Freedom'. His recently de-classified, initial, proposal includes the following:

Now that Rumsfeld and 'W' put Uncle Sam in the tyrant-eviction business, Agent Oink plots to have Mexifornia declared a terrorist state and have the victorious troops returning from Iraq invade this left coast pest hole. The Abrams tanks from the 3rd Infantry would be ideal. Undoubtedly, this will entail 'house-to-house' fighting in such terrorist strongholds as Sacramento, Berkeley, Santa Monica, Hollywood, Laguna Beach, and San Francisco. A bunker buster attack on the state legislature is not out of the question.

Operation Mexifornia Freedom Plan B involves allowing Mexifornia dwelling Colonistas to reclaim this socialist pesthole for Mexico, after which we declare them a terrorist state. This plan is further enhanced by the historical president provided by our Civil War. If Abe Lincoln found Constitutional justification for invading the South, we should have no problem justifying a similar military assault on the Left Coast.

As you can see, Oink isn't suffering from a dormant imagination. There are lots more where that came from, and PIG promises to bring you each action-packed Agent Oink adventure, the instant we can get them declassified.