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PIG
NEWS DIGEST
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DECEMBER 2006
Pagan Scribbler Spouts Off Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/22/06] Uncle Sam’s Greed Some of these double-tax whammy victims are taking drastic steps - turning in their U.S. passport. A prime example is a woman who is a native Californian, a former Marine who now lives in Geneva. She decided that the double whammy was the ultimate deal breaker that prompted her to cut her ties with this "nation conceived in liberty". She’s one of more than 500 who decided to shed their U.S. citizenship this year. W probably can’t be bothered since they’re not chronically-needy, disease ridden border jumping scumbags from W’s beloved Mexico. Other double tax-whammy victims are making an equally hard decision:
Tell me, again, how W is the second coming of Ronald Reagan and a logical successor to Barry Goldwater. This Week’s Prime Contenders for a Cage Match
Far from finished, Rosie called The Donald a "snake oil salesman" and, quite accurately, dismissed The Donald’s press conference as "a publicity stunt". Furthermore, Rosie predicted that The Donald would sue her and she got that one right. The Donald muttered darkly about Rosie being out of control - Well, duh! - and stated that a lawsuit was in the works. More than a tad bitchy, The Donald aimed this bitch-slap at Rosie: “Rosie’s been a loser for a long time,” he told Access. Her magazine failed, she got sued. She folded up like a tent.” I have no use for Rosie whatsoever, but, she gets props for giving the Donald "I invented the bad hair day" Trump heartburn. Since I wrote and posted that pagan prose, both of these combatants have kept the feud going. I, for one, am thrilled, because we needed some comic relief to offset the usual gloom and doom that dominates the news cycle. If you held a gun to my head, I’d probably blurt out my suspicion that neither of these verbal gladiators is that pissed. They both know that the feud is giving each of these otherwise forgettable blights on humanity the face time on the boob tube that both of them crave. Does that realization spoil my fun? Hardly. I like a good fight as much as anybody, but in cases like this, I favor the tried and true Junkyard Dog, Texas Cage Match. I’d love to see how The Donald’s combover fares when Rosie smacks him silly. Just give me enough time to fix some pop corn then let the games begin. Jimmy "Quisling" Carter Fresh from a well-deserved bitch-slapping for his factually-flawed tome, "Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid", Jimmy decided that a visit to Brandeis University is just what the spin doctor ordered. At first, he was ready, willing and downright eager to speak with the many Jewish students attending Brandeis, but he’s singing a different tune now, after Brandeis decided to give the students a balanced presentation. The idea was quite simple. Instead of a non-stop exhibition of the peanut punk smooching everything Jihadikaze, the Ivory Tower proposed that Jimmy should debate Harvard Law professor, Alan Dershowitz on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. After cleaning up the steaming load he accidentally left in his drawers, this tower of ex-presidential jello shot the idea down with this bovine excrement:
In other words, the last damn thing this Southern-Fried Quisling wants is to defend his fetid notions against someone of Dershowitz’s intellectual prowess. Peanut Punk knows that Alan would kick his butt majorly and he’s determined to avoid that at all costs. Alan shot back with this gem: "President Carter said he wrote the book because he wanted to encourage more debate; then why won't he debate?" The answer to that one is obvious: Peanut Punk knows that his fetid notions on the Middle East are indefensible, so his only option is avoiding any situation where his bull crap can be challenged. If anyone challenges him, Jimmy "Quisling" Carter resorts to name-calling. Jimmy Carter is steaming goddamn load whose every action brings more disrepute on the lofty office he once held. The World According to Me Eating Their Own
The Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins, is shocked, shocked I tell you, and deems this Romney missive "quite disturbing". Mitt Romney, apparently, isn’t the right kind of conservative. He’s not pure enough. I’ve seen this purity test in action, numerous times, in Mexifornia. Each election cycle, the Tony Perkins class purity brigade, finds some steaming Elephant Clan load who passes their purity test then sends this fool out to endure a lop-sided, landslide class thrashing at the hands of the Donkey Clan’s otherwise beatable candidate. That’s how the no longer Golden State ended up with liberal Harpies like Boxer and Feinstein representing Mexifornia in the U.S. Senate. How many pure enough for the Christian Right losers will the Elephant Clan run up the flagpole before they realize that it’s a recipe for disaster? I’d like to think that the Elephant Clan would learn from the Mexifornia GOP’s mistakes, but I’m not convinced they’re capable of pulling their heads out from their butts that long. Another 9th Circus Slap-Down
A man gets gunned down by a jealous dude and the dead man isn’t "the innocent party"? What kind of horse crap is that? That might make sense in the region of the Twilight Zone where the 9th Circus resides, but it sounds like stupidity on steroids to this pagan scribbler. Pagan Pontificating Great Northwest Nitwit Panty Twister The 2003 legicrap sounds innocuous enough: it "revised" the formula through which the loot from Business and Occupation taxes are distributed. Right now, any capitalist endeavor that is careless enough to have its headquarters in Seattle gets taxed for goods and services sold in other Washington cities, even the ones that don’t impose a B & O tax. Starting in 2008, Seattle won’t get their pound of tax loot flesh for goods and services sold in cities that don’t assess the B & O tax. That means if a Seattle-based lawfirm does work in Tukwila - a city without a B & O tax - Seattle won’t get its piece of the action. Seattle’s Elected Tormentors are losing a lot of sleep over this loss of "revenue" because - according to their questionable bean counting - it will cost them $20 million a year. I don’t suppose that Seattle could cut some salaries, shed some of that bureaucratic flab and try to live within their means? Nah, they’d never try anything as rational as that. It’s not the Great Northwest Nitwit way of doing their putrid business. More Seasonal Silliness
Marty’s stellar bluntness is heard by the "Holiday Tree" pinheads, but not endorsed:
If you’re smelling another "We really don’t want an Islamikaze rampage in Brooklyn" brainfart, join the club. Sauce for the Goose The fun hit high gear when some differently-Christian supernaturalists realized the full implications of this Falwell-induced backpack mail decision. If the Cross Cultists could use backpack mail, so could some local Unitarians who wanted to advertise some pagan-themed December holidays. The Unitarian flier invites all who are so inclined to attend "an educational program" that will teach the attendees all about the pagan traditions that found their way into the secular Christmas rituals. That’s fine for the Unitarians, but the local Cross Cultists are far from thrilled. Some are spouting off that it’s time to dump the government school scheme like a bad habit. Others - unaware of Falwell’s part in this farce - wonder why the backpack mail system was ever allowed to be used for anything other than school work and school meetings. NOVEMBER 2006
Tis The Season The usual Christmas season brain-farts are erupting near and far, right on schedule. The "brain-farts" in question are the depressingly familiar food-fights over Nativity Scenes in the public square. Here are a few examples gleaned from this week’s news items: St. Albans City Park (West Virginia) When asked about the missing elements by a rational adult, the relevant "official" described it as a "desert scene" then he explained that the missing elements were banned due to the city’s ACLU enforced enthusiasm for the separation of church and state. The rational adult deemed this abstract - it is whatever you think it is - display "the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen". Olegbay (West Virginia)
I wonder if, in the spirit of "inclusiveness", they deployed a blank patch of ground for the viewing pleasure of the local atheist population. Austin (Mexas)
Green with envy, PIG confers hearfelt kudos on this University of Texas Young Conservatives. PIGish Ranting Brown University Evicts Cross Cult Cabal
Tired of all the meaningless Egghead hot air, the banned Cross Cult group brought in the big guns of on-campus liberty - FIRE - the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education. That took the matter higher up the Egghead food chain to Russell Carey, interim vice president for campus life. Carey promised to "mediate" the matter to get the group back on campus. In other words, nobody at Brown University has the stones to go head to head with FIRE. L.A. Imposes Living Wage The primary beneficiaries of this edict are - Mariachi Band - border jumping scumbags who are employed by the hotels in assorted menial positions. That’s right PIGsters, the City of Angels is, once again, taking a crap on American citizens to coddle some border jumping rat bastards. Ay, carumba! As much as this sucks, there’s a law of unintended consequences reality check that might bitch-slap these council punks. First, there’s the likelihood of a court challenge. Second, the hotel owners are determined to put the matter on the citywide ballot as a voter initiative. Finally, there’s a nifty way to get around this law. The law only applies to the hotel’s employees. But, what if the hotel didn’t have any employees? What if the hotel hired a services firm based in San Diego to provide all those daily functions? That would make the janitors, maids, and clerks employees of a San Diego firm that is outside the L.A. City Council’s jurisdiction. The hotel would no longer have employees. Instead the hotels would have a contractor who supplied those services. I’m told this would pass legal muster, but don’t bet the farm on it. These L.A. Socialists are just getting started. Men, Women & Inconclusive?
Will world peace break out due to this toilets for trannies scam? Probably not, but if it keeps this wench occupied, it prevents her from doing any serious damage on campus in the name of "Social Justice". Pagan Pontificating Inviting Trouble In Montreal In a heartbeat, the womyn on the department had their panties in a wad over this "sexist" article. Suitably alarmed, the department big wigs ordered everybody to chill out. The ultimate irony was served up by Mayer Feig, director of the Jewish Council for Community Relations, who said, in essence "Who the hell asked you to give us this special treatment?" Mayer illustrated his point by reeling off the names of female police officers he talked to on a regular basis. When Korrectniks go looking for trouble by getting "sensitive" just in case, they’ll find it. Of course, the hornets’ nest they stir up is, invariably, among other elements of the Korrectnik cabal. This self-inflicted wound will heal, but I doubt that the lesson has been learned. The Smoke Nazi Tyranny Continues
The smokestacks in question, the Sauves, would like to take this ruling up the judicial system food chain, but that’s a very expensive endeavor and they really can’t afford it. If you’re a liberty-minded shyster ("liberty minded shyster" is, I admit an oxymoron) and you work cheap, give the Sauves a call and offer to help them out. No matter how you feel about smoking or smokers, this crap is intolerable. This Smoke Nazi crap has no place in a nation conceived in liberty. Holy Tuxedo Wearing Homos Batman! A Shiloh, Illinois, woman named Lilly Del Pinto is the one who raised the local alarm when her 5 year old wenchlet brought the tome home with her. The webbed feet adventure charmed Lilly who decided to read it to her daughter. That bit of mother-daughter bonding hit a speed bump when Lilly read those evil words: "the zookeeper said the two penguins must be in love". In a homophobic heartbeat, Lilly stopped reading the book and began a campaign to expunge it from the tyke-friendly reading list. Despite Lilly’s homophobic hysterics, Shiloh Elementary School is hanging tough on the tome. School superintendent ignored a recommendation that the book be restricted to those tykes who came armed with written parental permission. "The book stays right were it is" is the essence of her decision. That works for me, but I doubt that Lilly Del Pinto will pack up her holy roller prayer cards and go away quietly. This one smells like another VRWC cause celebre. I know that a lot of PIGsters understand where Lilly is coming from and I respect that. I respect it, but I damn sure don’t "get it". It’s a damn book about a couple tuxedo wearing birds! Why can’t Lilly get over it and get on with her life? Draconian Brit Fat Nazi Edicts
In essence, this allows any eager Fat Nazi to ban "junk food" ads on any program, if they can phoney up a study that proves Brit "children" are watching it. As fun as that must sound to these goose-stepping pinheads, there’s a fun-filled dose of objective reality called "the law of unintended consequences" stalking them. With junk food ads gone, even the deluded optimists at Ofcom admit that the loss of advertising revenue will be at least £39million per year ($72 million dead presidents). How will these "children oriented" shows replace the vital revenue stream? With great difficulty. This ad ban will result in a lot of children’s programs going off the air because they won’t be able to find sufficient advertisers. That’s a given. Instead of making kiddie programs more user friendly, these nitwits are dooming them to extinction. Ofcom realizes this and that’s why they allowed some elements of this junk food ban to be phased in over a 2 year period. The other unintended - for Brit taxpayers - consequence will occur when the show cancelling reality hits these Fat Nazis and they go goose-stepping to the Nanny State for a tax-funded kiddie program subsidy. That’s also a given and it’s going to hit the Brit taxpayer squarely in their wallet. They don’t deserve it, but they have only themselves to blame for putting these liberty-hating Fat Nazi coddling Nanny State pinheads in positions of power. Pagan Rants On The Election Paybacks’ A Bitch I know what you’re thinking - I had the same thoughts - but Joe is a man of principle, so he’ll probably fulfill his pre-election promise to play ball with the Donkey Clan if he won re-election as an independent. It’s a damn shame that Joe’s a nice guy. If you put me in his shoes, I’d be getting my pound of flesh out of the Donkey Clan’s hide on a daily basis. My demands would always be petty, but they would be relentless and tailor-made to drive all those Donkey Clan hacks crazy. Has America Changed? We live in a nation populated by cringing cowards who aren’t prepared to defend their nation from attack. Despite the courage and sacrifice of our brave men and women in uniform...despite their determination to defend this nation from the Jihadikaze rat bastards who want to destroy us, a critical, chad-punching mass of Americans no longer have the guts it takes to defend this nation from a determined enemy. It Cindy Sheehan, CNN and the rest of the cringing cowards had been around during WWII, we’d all be speaking Japanese or German. We live in a nation where "need" is our highest virtue and "achievement" is our greatest vice. Despite their contribution to America’s wealth and prosperity, America’s hard working, pulling themselves up by their bootstraps achievers are vilified and looted by the parasite horde that now infests this great nation. We live in a nation where American citizenship is rendered meaningless. Despite the mountain of evidence that demonstrates how border jumping scumbag invaders take much more than they contribute, a critical mass of so-called Americans can’t muster the political will to defend this nation’s borders. They’d much rather erase the borders and allow the invaders to erase America. America didn't change Tuesday, but it made us confront what America has become. It's not a pretty sight and it's not my idea of a good time, but pretending it doesn't exist is a mistake. The real question is what, if anything, can we do to make things right? I'm fresh out of answers PIGsters, but I'm open to suggestions. I have the queasy feeling that things must get a lot worse, before we get our chance to make things better. It sucks, but objective reality tends to be that way. Pagan Pontificating Clown Posse Smoke and Mirrors If Chertoff and his daddy Vicente W. Bush ram through this new amnesty on steroids, America will quite likely cease to exist. In its place will be a third world cess pool that stretches from Tierra del Fuego to the arctic circle. The name for this border erasing brain-fart is the North American Union and it’s already ramping up to erase the land conceived in liberty from the map. Will it happen the way Chertoff and Vicente W. Bush plan? Only if you let it, PIGsters. Only if you let it. Harold Ford Jr. Musical Chairs Elections, on the state level, work the same damn way. The names of the Elected Tormentors never change, all they do is keep running for a different office every time they get term limited out of a given job. In other words, it’s the same set of crappy hacks, but every few years they change job titles and offices. That sounds like an unintended consequence to this pagan scribbler. Windy City Patriotism OCTOBER 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [10/27/06] Britain is Doomed If you think the local Kensington officials are sympathetic, guess again. The MP for the area is mounting a fight to get the matter resolved, but it’s an uphill fight and there’s very little time to get the job done. Again I ask, How screwed up is Britain? Hopelessly. Wishful Thinking? The Elephant Clan is betting that these angry poker players will either a ‘get over it’ or won’t go to the polls in sufficient numbers to make a difference. Will this poker ban bite the Elephant Clan? Perhaps, but, right now I’m far from convinced that it will be a critical factor in the final outcome when the ballots are counted. Virtual Fences Bushism Dumped Mitt Romney Due to some quality time I spent in Utah, I have more than a passing acquaintance with the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Mormons). Admittedly, the Mormons are thrillingly weird in some ways - their practice of getting baptized for the dead comes to mind - but I wouldn’t call them "don’t make one president" weird. I make this assertion as a rational adult who has made a conscious decision to reject all forms of supernaturalism: political, cultural and theological. Anchored - as completely as I’m capable - in objective reality, I don’t find Mitt Romney’s Mormonism meaningful or troubling. As far as I can tell, most flavors of supernaturalism have a generous infusion of weirdness. Like what? Exorcisms, Virgin Mary sightings, and every-damn thing about Scientology. From my perspective, Mormonism hasn’t cornered the market on lunatic fringe supernaturalist weirdness. That honor goes to certain fringe dwelling Cross Cultists who find French kissing a viper a spiffy way to demonstrate their devotion to Old Ka-Boom. Based on that hopelessly weird benchmark, Mitt Romney’s magic underwear and baptisms for the dead aren’t deal breakers when it comes to Oval Office eligibility. Are we all on the same page now, true believer Sparky? Assorted Hambo Rants Black Helicopter Club The Border Fence Bill It’s not an end of the session backlog at all, the Times insists. It’s the Elephant Clan congressmen who are dragging their heels. W has heard the rumblings that he won’t sign it and wants to put them to rest. He keeps asking for it:
Why the delay? Elephant Clan congressional leaders want a big public signing, preferably a signing close enough to the election to give them a boost:
W has every intention of signing the bill, we’re assured. I’m willing to believe that Vicente Bush will sign the damn thing. I’m not the least bit convinced that he - or anyone else in his administration - have the slightest intention of building the damn thing. This smells like another fetid, election year bait and switch stinker and you can quote me on that. PIGish Musings Propaganda In Brit Science Classes
Instead of all that tedious "hard" science crap, the students would be spoon-fed the latest politically correct junk science on those issues that are being kicked around by the usual suspects. If you’re thinking the Brit government is planning to blatantly scrap education in favor of indoctrination, join the club. Drug Warrior Heartburn Alert
Not exactly checkmate, but this new finding is destined to give drug warriors who egregiously malign the beneficial aspects of pot fits. Life is so pesky that way. Horndog Heaven? PIG is compelled to pour some cold water on your inflamed nads, horndog Sparky. When it comes to sweater puppies bigger isn’t always better. The entire PIG staff insists that quality is preferable to quantity. Big Oil In The Bull’s-Eye It’s a well-established fact that whenever you tax something you get less of it. If oil produced in Mexifornia is nailed with an extra tax, why would an oil company keep on producing it at the same rate? Why not import the oil you need and avoid the tax completely? Another well-established fact - based on prior adventures in alternative energy sources - is that these crackpot firms that promote these alternative fuels make most, perhaps all, of their profits from the subsidies paid to them by the Nanny State nitwits. Finally, how will the state’s gas price "watchdogs" prove that a jump in oil prices is due to the oil company passing along the new tax? All "Big Oil" needs say is "our Smudgeville refinery has a boo-boo and we’re short on supply". If you’re a huckster looking for an easy buck, Mexifornia is getting ready to loot oil wrangling capitalists to the tune of $4 billion dollars a year. Don’t wait a minute longer, fast-talking Sparky. Invest in some lab coats, set up that phoney company - fair warning PIGishly Profound Energy Solutions is already taken - then get ready to claim your piece of this $4 billion dollar pie. Your success as assured, because the reality-insulated bozos who will be running this scam are predisposed to believe any idea, especially the terminally insane sounding ones. Collected Hambo Wisdom Road Rage Medved’s take on the bill is the same old crap he always spews when he wants to impose his smugly sanctimonious sludge on sovereign individuals via Nanny State coercion. He blithers that, since there is no explicit right in the U.S. Constitution that grants sovereign individuals the right to gamble on the Internet, rational adults have no complaint about this law. Besides, he sneers, Uncle Sam didn’t outlaw Internet gambling, he just made it impossible for money to change hands in the process. This is good because, for starters, Medved doesn’t approve of gambling. Saving those who can’t control their gambling impulses is, after all, for the greater good. Medved is a prime example of how far the Elephant Clan has strayed from the small government, maximum liberty ideals of Barry Goldwater. I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong, as usual, Sparky. I don’t gamble on or off the Internet, because, for the most part gambling is for suckers. This Internet gambling ban "launches" me, because it’s a prime example of the way the Nanny State - aided and abetted by the Elephant Clan - is systematically eradicating our inalienable individual liberty. When I hear someone like Medved give his seal of approval to that crap, I blow a gasket. Halloween Tantrum If there's a dark underbelly to Halloween it's all about human nature, not demonic influences. It works this way: Painfully aware that daughter Moonbeam's sudden burning need for an iPod traces back to the fact that Moonbeam's best friend Susie just got one from her indulgent mommy, Moonbeam's mom plots her revenge. When little Susie shows up dressed as the Princess in some kid flick, Moonbeam's mom reaches for that special Susie treat, a 10,000 calorie candy bar that will put Susie's cholesterol into orbit, and give her a sugar high that will make her hyperactive for the next three weeks. It's not a perfect revenge, but it's damn close. Susie will survive, unscathed; the jury is still out on her mom's fate. Halloween is about kids and laughter. Come Halloween eve, I’ll be out on my front porch manning the arcade class popcorn machine, because one day a year my home is known by tykes near and far as "the popcorn house". I’ll allow myself the rare pleasure of watching excited kids get a tad giddy over a small bag of freshly popped popcorn and some traditional Halloween decor. They enjoy dressing up and I enjoy meeting them. That, Sporty, is the essence of Halloween. If you see something sinister in making kids happy, then it’s time to increase the voltage on your shock treatments. Election Cycle Hissy Fit One hot button proposition is either a frontal assault by tree-hugging Marxist asshats on fuzzball capitalists. Or, it’s a "socially responsible" attempt to make certain deep pockets pay "their fair share" (everything they’ve got or might dream of having) to resolve some non-problem with a solution based on technology that doesn’t exist and isn’t even a gleam in some lab coated Einstein’s eye. A high profile race - one for a high elected office in state government - features two clowns who are -based on their opponent’s ads - total scumbags. In this case, I tend to agree with both camps. Neither of these rat bastards can be trusted to clean port-a-potties, so putting them in a position of power in state government is an asinine notion. At the top of the state ticket, the governor’s race features two liberal asshats (one a flaming tax and spend liberal, the other a smoldering tax and spend liberal), neither of whom can be trusted to safeguard the inalienable individual rights of the state’s sovereign individuals. All things considered, I’m willing to leave the governor’s office empty for the next 4 years. Why? No governor means no bills get signed and eventually, the Marxist legicrats run out of money and are forced to lock the doors and go home. That sounds infinitely better than the alternative: allowing one of these liberty hating clowns to destroy the few tattered shreds of the state’s besieged liberty. Brass Colonista Nads This simple fact checking exercise is, according to assorted Windy City windbags, blatant discrimination against border jumping scumbag invaders. According to scumbags like Emma Lozano of Pueblo Sin Fronteras, Uncle Sam’s insistence on enforcing our immigration laws is "racism". Which part of "BITE ME, Colonista Bitch" doesn’t Emma understand? Timing Is Everything If you’re wondering how you missed all the fun, we can explain it to you in three action-packed words - The Foley Scandal. The News Nitwit Horde is in such a feeding frenzy over Foley that they shoved this star-studded - Sean Penn, Olympia Dukakis, Cindy Sheehan, Studs Terkel - protest over a cliff into news cycle oblivion. Sorry peace punks, you’re just not as sexy as horndog ex-congressmen who lust after teenage lads. Life is so unfair that way. SEPTEMBER 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [09/29/06] That Horndog Ex-Congressman There seems to be an arrogance that takes hold of elected tormentors the instant they set foot on Capitol Hill and, over time, it convinces them - quite rightly in too many cases - that they'll never be called to answer for their actions. I keep wondering if these porno messages are all there is to this brain-fart, or is this, simply the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I have a feeling that this story could get BIG if the House leadership knew about this horndog's antics and covered them up. It appears that the dude standing in the looming scandal bull's-eye is Speaker of the House J. Dennis Hastert. The latest news stories indicate that the Elephant Clan House leadership knew about this fool - knew about his "over friendly" messages to a page - in 2005 and didn’t do a damn thing about him. The least they could have done is toss him off the House caucus on missing and exploited children. Fair warning, PIGsters, the News Nitwits are, quite understandably, in a feeding frenzy. This story won’t go away any time soon. Will it tip the scales on the mid-term elections? Doubtful, but it’s much too soon to tell. We’re still in the hunt for "what did they know and when did they know it". Stay tuned. Survivor Changes The Rules of the Game Assorted PIGish Notions Oktoberfest Hoof-beats Twilight Zone Moment of the Week "You don't come into my country, you don't come into my congressional district and criticize my president." That’s all the proof I need that somebody has been dumping banned, mind-altering substances in the Capitol Hill water supply. If Teddy The Swimmer shows up in his Speedo and blasts Hugo, I’m declaring a "Body Snatchers Alert". Euphemism of the Week Hex of the Week PIGish Pontificating A Dog’s Tale Are we the only ones who are disgusted that Uncle Sam dances to Mexico’s tune so eagerly? Why should we cooperate? Mexico flatly refuses to cooperate when we demand that they extradite the rat bastards who killed American cops then scurried over the border. Until Mexico starts returning these murdering bastards to face American justice, we should tell them to pound sand when they demand one of our citizens be returned to them for trial. NO NAD Heartburn
We’re trying to be thrilled spitless over this "men are smarter than women" claim, but we do have one pesky question that needs to be answered. If, as Mr. Rushton concludes, men are smarter than women, why do women live longer? It’s Enquiring minds time, again, in the PIGdom. Stealth Wisdom Word Games Public airwaves? If the airwaves are, in actual fact ‘public’ why can’t I set up my own radio station in my garage and broadcast over ‘my’ airwaves? I mean, as a member of the ‘public’, I own them, and that means I can use them. The fact is, if you try setting up your own radio station, the Feds will arrest you, because the airwaves belong to them, since the day they seized them. While I’m spouting off about annoying "public" poop, what about public land? If it belongs to John Q. Public...me, why must I pay to camp in my State or National Park? If public land belongs to me, why can’t I build a desert vacation house on Groom Lake in Area 51 without getting arrested or shot? Obviously, this ‘public’ land isn’t public at all. My only ownership entitlement is paying the bills. Since this land isn’t mine - it’s government’s - why can’t we acknowledge that, by calling it what it is: government land. Another misuse of this term, 'public', involves the mythical public utility. Try telling the electric company, the gas company, the water department, etc that, since you’re the public, and you ‘own’ them, you’re not going to pay the bill they send you. The government will coerce you into paying the bill. If it’s not a government utility, why does the government set the billing rate. Public airwaves, like public land and public utilities, don’t exist...never did and never will. All three are government owned at your expense, but never on your behalf. Hambo’s Law The easiest analogy is to compare government with gravity. The best way to measure the gravity a given astronomical body exerts on a given object is to weigh the object. The more mass a given astronomical body has, the more a given object sitting on its surface will weigh. That’s why you weigh less on the Moon or Mars than you do on Earth. It also explains why you weigh a lot more on a massive planet like Jupiter. The stronger gravity pulls at you, the more you weigh and the harder it is for you to move. The same relationship exists between government and liberty. Inalienable individual liberty is the best way to measure the political ‘gravity’ exerted by the government that rules you. The larger the government, the more it pulls at your liberty...the harder it is to exercise the inalienable individual liberty that is your birthright. That’s why each expansion government perpetrates is a direct assault on your individual liberty. Our Founding Father’s recognized the inherently hostile relationship between government’s size/power/control and individual liberty. That’s why they went to such great lengths to restrict government in our Constitution. We must throw off the shackles government attached to our liberty and regain the inalienable liberty our Founding Father’s recognized as our birthright. WMD’s AUGUST 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [08/31/06] Warren Jeffs The Kool-Aid Club’s take presented this capture with alarmist prose about putting a deeply religious fuzzball like Warren on the 10 Most Wanted list because of his faith. Give me damn break! Jeff’s flavor of supernaturalism is beside the point. So, for that matter, is his enthusiasm for, and advocacy of polygamy. I’m not even moved by the fact that Warren, routinely, rides roughshod over the adult members of his flock. They volunteered for this abuse, so they have only themselves to blame. The primary reason that Jeff’s belongs in the slammer involves the way he, repeatedly, coerced young girls - many if not most of them underage - into arranged marriages with the horny old goats who comprise Warren’s core believers. It would be nice if once, just once, one of the Kool-Aid Club members showed as much outrage over this blatant assault on the girls’ inalienable liberty as they did over the fact that a Cross Cult leader landed on the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted list. Ignore the Problem and Treat the Symptom If your domicile is on the streets of Seattle, we have a troubling tidbit to pass along. Thunderbird, the most infamous wine in America, is on the banned list. So, for that matter, is Colt 45 Ice. Is banning cheap booze a good idea? Perhaps, but it should be a voluntary decision reached by each booze-vending capitalist, not these Great Northwest Nanny State Nitwits. My Journey Into Cable Provider Hell The first thing we noticed was that in the dead of night, some, if not all, of the channels on our cable system magically disappear for an hour or more. After several nights of this "you won't notice the change" service, we decided to call our "we’re just like the other guys only better" pinheads. It was, to say the least, beyond thrilling. First, there were at least 4 levels of "press 1 for" menus to negotiate before you were put on hold - a dastardly scheme to wear you down and make you give up/hang up. Patient to a fault, I got past this torture then, eventually, an alleged human answered the phone. After asking for my name and address they asked for the last 4 digits of my Socialist Security Number. When I gave it, this cable clown said "That’s not the right number." Holding the Socialist Security card in my hand, I explained, "I’m looking at the damn card, right this minute, and it’s the same as it has been for decades." Undaunted, the pinhead insisted that it wasn’t the right number. Leaving nothing to chance, I tried the last four digits of my lovely bride’s Socialist Security Number. "That’s not it either. I can’t help you unless you give me the proper number." Game, set, match. I have a hot flash for my new cable provider. I can see the difference, cable clowns. The old crappy service was much better than your new, improved, suckage on steroids. W Lets The Mecca Maniacs Muzzle Him America’s Warrior Against Terror in Chief, is channeling his inner Jimmy Carter these days. We were all inspired when, not too long ago, he finally called a spade a spade in labeled the Jihadikaze scumbags as "Islamic fascists". Tragically, that inspirational moment didn’t last very long. Pummeled by the traitorous rat bastards in CAIR (Council for American-Islamic Relations) W allowed himself to be hounded into using the bland - applies to anyone and everyone - term "extremists". We are, W still insists, at war with terror. Bull crap! "Terror" is a tactic, not the enemy. "Terrorists" are those who employ this tactic. "Terror", "terrorists", even "extremists" leave the essential question unanswered: What is motivating these scumbags to spread terror around the globe? The answer, as far as W is concerned is "I’m no longer allowed to talk about that." If, as the overwhelming evidence shows, Osama and all the rest are motivated to impose Islam on every human on this planet, then he is, at minimum an "Islamic Terrorist". No matter how much CAIR tries to deny it, there is a verifiable link between Islam and the "terror" that W thinks we’re fighting. It’s time for W, for everybody, to "man up" and confront this reality. If we don’t properly identify our enemy how can we ever expect to defeat them? Another Religion of Peace Outburst The closer the moment for the grand celebration got, the louder the din emanating from Tanzania’s Mecca Maniac horde became in this religion of peace infested nation. The notoriously tolerant Islamikaze horde demanded that the government ban the birthday party for the long gone, but never forgotten, Freddy Mercury. If the government didn’t do anything about it, the peace loving Islamikaze mob would take to the streets and we ALL know what that means: murder, mayhem, arson and various other religion of peace mainstays. Why, you ask, are these Islamikaze rat bastards so down on Freddy? Freddy Mercury was gay and Islamikazes are even more irrational about "that" than Cross Cult fundamentalists. Unwilling to face this enraged Islamikaze mob - and I damn sure don’t blame him - Simai cancelled his Freddy Mercury birthday bash. Add this to your Mt. Everest size stack of reasons why inalienable individual liberty and Islam are utterly and completely incompatible. We’re All Gonna Die, Again
Big, big fun, but there’s not a damn thing we could do to stop it. Fortunately, such an event is - we’re assured - unlikely. As fun as roving black holes might be, in the abstract, we have a bigger, closely related problem that’s too damn real. We already have a roving black hole of unrelenting suckage. It's called Senator Edward M. "Teddy the Swimmer" Kennedy. His "event horizon" is expanding almost as fast as his hyper-inflated ego. When it comes to worldwide destruction, we’d rather take our chances with a statistically improbably rogue black hole than endure The Swimmer’s ongoing, unrelenting suckage. Things Worth a Pagan Response Skin Show In Howie’s Liberal Eden More than a tad annoyed by this "take a look at this, Sparky" outbreak in their city, Brattleboro’s Select Board is mulling a new edict to end this downtown skin showing craze. Until then, it’s street legal to strip down in public UNLESS you’re doing to for "gratification or the intent of arousing oneself or another". I’m guessing that means its cool to air out your little soldier as long as he’s at parade rest, but, if he snaps to attention, the cops will cart you and your alert soldier off to the graybar. Personally, I don’t see the problem. Since Howie Dean turned Vermont into an "Eden", why is it shocking that the human denizens emulate the first couple - Adam and Eve - by stripping down and cavorting through Howie’s Eden stark naked? Israel’s New Counterstrike Weapon That situation is about to change, thanks to a recent weapon system acquisition that Israel made - ironically enough - from Germany. The new Israeli toys are called "Dolphin-class submarines" and they’re ideally suited for sneaking up on an enemy then lobbing nuclear tipped cruise missiles at him. In addition to conventional diesel lead-acid battery system, the new subs have another propulsion system that’s a lot slower, but it allows the sub to creep up on an enemy until the sub is at point blank range. With a 4,500 kilometer cruising range, the new subs have exactly what the Israelis need to pay Mahmoud an unexpected visit. Big, big fun. Immigration Tidbits Open borders pinheads don’t dispute the CBO numbers but claim there’s a pot of gold in the senate plan. This alleged pot of gold is the benefit derived from having these border jumping scumbag parasites helping to pay the looming Socialist Security payouts when the baby boomers start retiring en masse. That, border jumper coddlers insist, will offset all the other spending. Yeah right. I’m sure that car wash Jose, lawnmower Lupe and grape picker Juan - and the 80 parasites each will bring in with them - will be putting in a lot more then they’re taking out. Do they really think we’re this stupid? Speaking of immigration-related whoppers, the Clown Posse’s spokesdolt, Michael Chertoff, announced this week that as of right now, Uncle Sam’s "catch and release" policy is over. Chertoff insists that virtually all "OTM" (other than Mexican) border jumpers are being shipped to holding facilities until they can be deported back to the old country. Henceforth, "catch and detain" is official Clown Posse policy for OTMs. Chertoff also said that border jumper captures are down, significantly, from last year. I’d like to believe him, but given his track record of whoppers, it’s a very tough sell. Morning After Pill
Has science replaced supernaturalism as the driving force at the FDA? It’s much too soon to tell, but we seriously doubt it. Uncoordinated Synaptic Activity A PIGish Public Service Announcement If you’re looking for a good laugh, and an in-depth view of TSA Clown Posse alleged thinking you need to surf on over to the tsa.gov site and track down a gem called "Permitted and Prohibited Items". The Clown Posse felt the burning need to remind, whomever, that the following items can’t be include in carry-on luggage: meat cleavers, swords, sabers, ice axes, bows and arrows, spear guns, gun powder, flare guns, axes and hatches, stun guns, brass knuckles, billy clubs, black jacks , cattle prods (DAMN IT!), and a laundry list of power tools. All of the foregoing can be packed away in your checked luggage. The Clown Posse felt the need to remind Mahmoud Jihadikaze, and other interested parties that the following items are banned from the flight, period: blasting caps, dynamite, plastic explosives, hand grenades (that puts a damper on the family reunion), plastic explosives, and - drum roll - gasoline. Have these rat bastards no soul? Without your handy-dandy stun gun, how are you supposed to fend off that amorous hippo who takes a shine to you during the flight and won’t take no for an answer? What’s the point of attending a family reunion without your hand grenades, dynamite and plastic explosives? Damn it, if that’s the TSA’s attitude I might as well cash in those tickets and stay at home. Geographically Challenged Volunteers
Maryland is farther away than Mexifornia or Florida? Jim, dude, do yourself a favor. Take a break from your washer pitching practice sessions and study a map of the USA. Trust me, dude, it promises to be an eye-opening experience. PIG Takes on Homeland Security PIG thinks that comedian Ron White has the right idea. His Homeland Security Advisory System is simple, direct and tells everyone what they need to do: Ron White Advisory System Stage 1: "Buy a damn hard hat". As much as we like Ron and his system, it’s probably not elegant enough to satisfy the Clown Posse’s beltway boneheads. In the spirit of cooperation, we offer that idiot Michael Chertoff this "under construction" PIGish Homeland Security Advisory System PIG Advisory System Stage 1: "Take nap, Sparky, nothing to see here." PIG Advisory System Stage 2: "HOLY CRAP!" PIG Advisory System Stage 3: "Where the hell is John Wayne when we need him?" Admittedly, PIG’s advisory system lacks a spiffy chart, but we can work that out. Until we finish refining it, we invite you to join the fun. If you have a nifty Homeland Security Advisory System, drop us a line and tell us all about it. The best one we get will be given an honored place on our cyberspace speed bump. Cutting to the Chase [If you’re thinking "been there, read that" get over it. This vintage pagan prose is especially appropriate today, while the usual Mecca Maniac apologists tie themselves in verbal knots trying - with little success - to separate terrorism from Islam, in the minds of rational adults. The excuse of the moment is that same one we’ve heard a million times before: Islam is inherently peaceful. To prove this whopper, they, invariably say "read our holy book". That notion and several others are addressed by the following pagan pontificating.] It’s human nature to present your brand of supernaturalism in the best light possible. It’s the spiritual equivalent of showing someone your ‘best side’. In the 21st century, favored supernaturalism descriptors include: peaceful, loving, forgiving, understanding and everyone’s runaway favorite, tolerant. Each sect seeks the moral high ground as a religion of tolerance, but some do so with such deafening fervor that I'm compelled to invoke Shakespeare: “Methinks, thou dost protest too much.” What, precisely, is the most accurate way to assess a given flavor of supernaturalism? The three criteria offered by most supernaturalists are: the sect’s professed theology; the sect’s holy scripture; the sect’s history, as demonstrated by their most significant historical figure(s)...a founder, a patriarch, a prophet, or a savior/messiah. The best way to understand this is by examining each criteria individually. Each major supernaturalist sect traces its inception back to one specific individual. Torah true believers cite a patriarch who initiated the ‘covenant’ with Old Ka-Boom. Mecca Maniacs cite their prophet, Mohammad. Mormons cite their leader, Joseph Smith. The Cross Cult cites a god in human form, their savior, the cross dude. In each case, this individual has a hotline to his version of Old Ka-Boom. In each case, this individual gets the straight from Old Ka-Boom skinny on certain essentials relating to deity-human issues: codes of conduct, rules of engagement, rituals, etc, always in considerable detail. This leads directly to the next criteria: holy scripture. All scripture is reputed to be divinely inspired, but at least one, the Mecca Maniac tome, has a celestial realm insider speaking directly to one individual, Mohammad. Others, like the Book of Mormon are filtered through the sect’s principle prophet: Joseph Smith. Still others, the Torah and the blood soaked tome, are filtered through selected third parties - usually several of them - documenting the lives of important individuals, including their chats with their deity. The single source (author) model, usually written during one, prolonged period of divine inspiration, appears to be more coherent, but the chaos stemming from the multi-authored blood soaked tome doesn’t seem to bother Cross Cultists, so who am I to quibble. The final criteria - theology - evolves from specific tenets laid out in their scripture. The Cross Cult needed to perform an extra step, since they were loaded down with a vast selection from which to choose. In their case, armed with the provenance attached to each scripture candidate, they performed a selection process during which each book offered for consideration got voted in or out of the blood-soaked tome. In all supernaturalist sects, once the final scriptural version is formally adopted, the approved scripture door is closed, permanently, preventing any future - potentially disruptive - scriptural outbursts. Although the scripture is locked in place, theology continues to evolve, due, in large part, to the fog of time that renders certain historical facts, events and individuals indistinguishable from pious myth. It’s this theological evolution that caused (continues to cause) the relentless fracturing within Cross Cultism. Although Islam appears to be monolithic, it, too, has its internal fractures, with two primary sects: Sunni and Shia, plus assorted other subsects. Torah true believers come in several subflavors, and there are at least two versions of Mormonism. Theology, it seems, is mercurial, and subject to wide, conflicting interpretation. That’s hardly a commendable pedigree for an evaluation criteria. Armed with this overview, we can, finally, address the essential question: What, precisely, is the most accurate way to assess a given flavor of supernaturalism? Sect history? Sect scripture? Sect theology? All three? It’s ‘none of the above’, because, the answer lies elsewhere. In the 21st century, the only meaningful measure poses this question: How do a supernaturalist sect’s adherents implement the theology derived from their sect’s scripture and history? Beliefs are irrelevant. Ancient words and deeds are equally irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what the believer does with them. That is the only pertinent measurement criteria for any supernaturalist sect. The actions that matter are those involving the adherent’s existing political environment. All sects stray into the political realm, to some extent, but Mecca Maniacs are, by far, the most egregious offenders. Bottom line: When supernaturalists make their sales pitch - spouting bovine excrement about their sect’s amazing tolerance - don’t let them distract you with their theology, scripture and ancient history. Ignore all this self-serving hot air and evaluate their 21st century actions. Force them to justify the actions taken in the name of their sect, here, now, today. Hold their feet to the fire over their infringement of individual liberty. Make them answer for imposing their quaint supernaturalism on those who don’t share their pious delusions. Are they legislating morality? Are they practicing supernaturalist indoctrination in their nation’s schools? Do they impose free speech abolishing laws concerning journalism, popular culture and such over the top bovine excrement as blasphemy laws? If the answer to any of these and other, similar questions is ‘yes’, then tolerant, they aren’t. Before you buy into a supernaturalist sales pitch, ask the hard questions. [The foregoing prose is intended, primarily, to address the whoppers spewed by Mecca Maniac apologists, but it applies equally well whenever any flavor of supernaturalism tries to infringe on inalienable individual liberty via Nanny State coercion.] Musings How Dare They! Flailing their handy-dandy race cards, the usual whiners were quick to vilify Oregon's Elephant Clan cabal as "hateful", "misinformed" and you guessed it "racist". Eunice Cho , a spokeshole for the National Network of Immigrant and Refugee Rights, blithers that such a change in U.S. Constitution would "create a class of people in this country who have no state" to call home. Wrong again, darlin. They do have a state to call home, it just doesn't happen to be in the USA. Finessing the Fries Ban in Arizona The verdict on these is mixed, but more or less approving. One eighth grader deemed them "not bad" but noted that the new fries are "mushier". On balance, she said she prefers the old, banished from government cess-school fries. Another student, an easy to please seventh grade lad, gave the new spuds a rave review: "They're good. I love them." On balance, since taste was not, apparently, sacrificed on the Food Nazi altar, this scribbler gives these Arizona food wranglers conditional props for trying to give student diners a new, improved French fry that doesn't suck. More Non-Sequential Synaptic Activity Poor Babies The source of this senatorial angst is the fact that the merely mortal are - gasp - using the elevator reserved for the senators' private use. We're shocked, shocked, I tell you that our elected tormentors are forced to share their private elevator with 'staff members, lobbyists and T-shirt clad tourists'. The poor babies can probably tolerate staffers, lobbyists, and even the occasional pushy journalist, but forcing them to get thisclose to real taxpayers is...intolerable. If you harbor doubts that these blithering boneheads are detached from reality, we have one more tidbit to share. Their private, senators only, elevator comes equipped with an elevator operator. We can't have Teddy The Swimmer, Juan McCain and Blithering Bobby Byrd pushing those elevator buttons. It's...unthinkable. Cynthia McKinney Bows out Gracefully? Is this the last time we'll stumble over this race card wrangler? We doubt it. If you forced us to bare our souls, we admit that we might miss Cynthia. Why? Because wingnuts like her are the endlessly "inspirational" when it comes to new fodder to fuel this speed bump in cyberspace. The Maggot Has His Head up His Bloated Ass Again
The Maggot needs to tone down the hyperbole a notch or two because Joe Lieberman's "resounding" defeat involved a paltry 10,000 vote margin of victory for the America-hating Marxist - Ned Lamont - who defeated him. Given all the money and support that Lamont had going for him, a 10,000 vote victory isn't exactly setting the world on fire. How majorly must the Donkey Clan suck when a bloated, piece of human excrement like the Maggot is the driving force behind your political clan? Changing the Kool-Aid Donkey Clan: Out: Joe Lieberman, Zell Miller, Scoup Jackson, John F. Kennedy, Harry Truman, the Founding Fathers, Capitalism, The U.S. Constitution, inalienable individual liberty. In: Karl Marx, Vladamir Lenin, Michael Moore, George Soros, Ramsey Clark, Jimmy Carter, Nevil Chamberlin, appeasement, Kim Jong Il, Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, Che, The Communist Manifesto, Cindy Sheehan, Jihadikazes, aromatic peace pukes. Elephant Clan: Out: Thomas Paine, Barry Goldwater, Tom Tancredo, Ronald Reagan, American sovereignty, balanced budgets, small properly-Constitutional government, inalienable individual liberty. In: James Dobson, Brent Bozell III, Juan McCain, amnesty, open borders, two-fisted spending, the Decency Jihad, the war on evolution, Nanny State Socialism Lite. We deserve better, but until a critical mass of outraged Americans demands it, all we're likely to get from these clowns is more of the same. Castigating Condi's Critics
If you're thinking this came from RoveCo or the VRWC, get over it. Nope, this ringing stop maligning Condi prose came from Burce S. Gordon, President & CEO of the NAACP. Call us names if you must, but I never saw this one coming and wouldn't believe it, if I didn't see the press release myself. It's "go figure" time in the PIG News bunker. Non-Sequential Synaptic Activity Donkey Clan Identity Crisis Resolved Under the party's new ethos, such Commie scumbags as Lenin and even Karl Marx himself would be branded as vast right-wing conspirators by the new breed of Marxists whose pathological hatred for inalienable individual liberty and the capitalism that nourishes it are off the scale. Given this new, neo-Marxist litmus test, it will be miracle if any of the party's main players will survive the neo-Marxist purge that's gathering steam. Apparently it's no longer acceptable to be a rational adult in the Donkey Clan. The only person on the planet who might make the cut under the Donkey Clan's new rules of engagement is North Korea's reigning lunatic, Kim Jung-il, but he's probably unwilling to take the mandated pay cut. Bold new concept. It remains to be seen if RoveCo and the Clown Posse running the Elephant Clan can turn the Donkey Clan's headlong plunge into neo-Marxism into a victory in the forthcoming mid-term elections. With the Donkey Clan falling off the cliff into abject cowardice, appeasement and a pathological hatred of everything America represents, a victory should be a slam dunk for RoveCo. Should be, but the Elephant Clan has a gift for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Random Takes on the Donkey Clan's Antics Don't hold your breath waiting for RoveCo or the VRWC to own up to it, but they're partially to blame for the Donkey Clan's plunge into neo-Marxist insanity. The Elephant Clan's relentless leftward drift put the squeeze on the Donkey Clan's vulnerable right flank and gradually pushed out Donkey Clan stalwarts like former Senator Zell Miller. In a bid to distinguish themselves from their hated Elephant Clan rivals, the Donkey Clan yielded to the pressure on their right flank and gradually moved to the left. The more RoveCo adopted the Donkey Clan's two-fisted spending and Nanny State on steroids game plan, the more the Donkey Clan moved left. Finally, with no more room to maneuver, whoosh, off the cliff they went. PIGish Potshots Promises, Promises
That was Wednesday, but by Friday afternoon, Charlie was already backpedaling. During an interview with Hannity, Charlie changed his tune, slightly, spouting drivel about "consulting his constituents" before he pulls the plug on his decades long (35 years to be exact) swilling at the public trough. Regime Change in Puritanica This pagan scribbler offers the following splash of cold water for those eternal optimists in our reading audience. Before you start spouting drivel about "sanity has finally been restored in Kansas", remember one chilling fact: Kansas is the state that spawned Fred Phelps and his merry band of Christian "Jihadikazes". Banned in Britain These word games are a steaming load that won't change one damn thing. It's a time tested fact of school life that top students get teased by the merely mortal. It's not a fate worse than death and it's the achievers who, invariably, have the last laugh when they return for their high school reunion. That's when the achievers can strut their stuff and demonstrate what their cleverness has done for them where it counts, in the real world. A Classic Presidential Putdown Seizing the moment a reporter shouted "Mr. President, should Mel Gibson be forgiven?" W tracked down the questioner, identified the news nitwit, then laid an Oval Office bitch slap on him: "Sam Donaldson is that you? I don't have to talk to you anymore, you're a has been." The presidential putdown was greeted by laughter, then silence, because the president didn't follow up his bitch-slap with a "Just kidding", or a response to the question. Who knew that W had those kind of nads? We are, in this case, very damn amused. Elephant Clan Debacle Come November? Has the Elephant Clan set themselves up for defeat with their big spending, Nanny State expanding ways? It's too soon to tell, but it appears to be real possibility. Will it be the end of the world as we know it if the Donkey Clan regains one or both houses in congress? No, but big government on steroids will be the order of the day. What remains to be seen is this: if the Donkey Clan regains power on Capitol Hill will they follow Clinton's "allegedly" moderate agenda or will they make a hard turn to the left to appease the unabashed Marxist asshats who seem to be running the Donkey Clan these days? Maybe a couple hellish years of that crap would ill return the Elephant Clan to their 1994 government shrinking agenda. Maybe, but if McCain gets the 2008 nomination, all bets are off. JULY 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [07/31/06] President Newt? A spokeshole for the Heritage Foundation, Tim Chapman, described Newt perfectly when he called the former speaker "an idea-making factory". A thinking man in the Oval Office? We could do - have done - a lot worse. Bold new concept. Morning After Pill Maneuvering This FDA announcement is noteworthy for a couple reasons. First the timing of the announcement is ironic, to say the least, since it came a mere 24 hours before W's nominee to lead the FDA was scheduled to appear before a Senate committee. If that's not enough to have you spinning conspiracy theories, consider the fact that this move comes at a time when the mid-term election cycle is reaching critical mass. What, exactly, is RoveCo doing this time? Whether you're a Plan B friend or foe, it's much too soon to start manning the barricades for a pitched battle. In PIG's considered opinion, this is either an election year ploy of some kind or a trial balloon. In either case, I don't see the FDA green-lighting the morning after pill any time soon. Asinine Ivory Tower Antics While discussing the frivolous tripe that passes for higher education, he cited the following courses in his Capitalism Magazine commentary: School: Occidental College in L.A. School: Johns Hopkins University School: Harvard University Are we all thrilled spitless about that king's ransom you shelled out to fill Igor and Moonbeam's heads with this bovine excrement? Jaw Dropper of the Day Far from finished, the Surrender Monkey's plunged headlong into the Twilight Zone when the French Foreign Minister, Phillippe Douste-Blazy, called Iran - we're not making this up - a "stabilizing force in the Middle East". Holy detached from objective reality, Batman! Quotes of the Week Peter Schwartz on Democracy vs Liberty The essence of democracy is unlimited majority rule. It is the notion that the government should not be constrained, as long as its behavior is sanctioned by majority vote. It is the notion that the very function of government is to implement the "will of the people." It is the notion espoused whenever we tell the Lebanese, the Iraqis, the Palestinians and the Afghanis that the legitimacy of a new government flows from its being democratically approved. And it is the notion that was categorically repudiated by the founding of the United States. America's defining characteristic is freedom. Freedom exists when there are limitations on government, imposed by the principle of individual rights. America was established as a republic, under which the state is restricted to protecting our rights. This is not a system of "democracy." Thus, you are free to criticize your neighbors, your society, your government--no matter how many people wish to pass a law censoring you. You are free to own your property--no matter how large a mob wants to take it from you. The rights of the individual are inalienable. But if "popular will" were the standard, the individual would have no rights--only temporary privileges, granted or withdrawn according to the mass mood of the moment. The tyranny of the majority, as the Founders understood, is just as evil as the tyranny of an absolute monarch." (Capitalism Magazine) Peter Schwartz on Democracy in the Middle East Oddly Alike The "unalienable rights" with which you were "endowed" at birth do NOT include a right not to be offended. Living in a nation founded on inalienable individual liberty means you will hear things you don't want to hear. It also means you will see things you don't want to see. (The PIG Doctrine) The zealots on the far left and their counterparts on the far right share certain common traits, including the delusion that they have nothing in common with each other. At first glance, both sides seem to have a point. The VRWC's militant Cross Cult morality appears diametrically opposed to the lunatic lefty fringe's class warfare riddle Marxism. In this instance appearances are deceiving, because the zealots on the far right and left believe that a prime function of the Nanny State involves defending an individual's "right" not to be offended. For the lefty lunatics, the right not to be offended means speech codes, edicts against "hate speech" and sensitivity training for chronic offenders. The usual whines are depressingly familiar. "He looked at me that way". "He called me a water buffalo and we all know what that really means." "He carries a Bible around and we all know how they feel about gays." Their preferred solution: punish the offender using the power of the Nanny State. For the VRWC, the right not to be offended means censoring anything on radio, television, or DVD's that might give these hypersensitive morality wranglers a boo-boo on their fragile psyche. Their whines paint a bull's-eye on a different set of targets but their solution of first resort is identical to their lefty counterparts'. "Seeing Janet Jackson's coco-colored hooter damaged my tyke for life!" "I was watching a NASCAR race and someone in the crowd shouted out a bad word and my tyke heard it." "One of the characters on that teenage drama called someone 'a dick'. My daughter watches that show and it scarred her horribly." For zealots on the far left and far right, the Nanny State and its monopoly on the use of force is the first line of defense when it comes to enforcing their specific agenda. The Nanny State's muscle will keep you from saying things they don't want to hear. The Nanny State's muscle will keep you from watching things they don't want to see. The Nanny State's muscle will impose their beliefs on you, because - and they agree on this too - it's for your own good. You'll find this shocking but, after reading every damn word of the U.S. Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, I couldn't find any trace of "a right not to be offended". I'm starting to think gasp that it doesn't exist, except in the fevered brains of these statism loving zealots. The Games People Play Election Cycle Bovine Excrement
The need for this amendment is, at best, debatable, since 45 states already have state constitutional amendments or state laws that outlaw same-sex nuptials. Nobody was shocked when the amendment fell 47 votes short of the required two-thirds majority. Passing this measure isn't the purpose here. This goodie was proposed to give Elephant Clan congressmen political cover with their VRWC constituents. The Donkey Clan countered the Elephant Clan's ploy with several versions of a stem cell research bill. Although one measure did muster enough votes to pass both houses, neither passed by a veto-proof majority. Since, for once, a presidential veto was a 'given', this was another exercise in painting a bull's-eye on one's political opponents. Windy City Prance-A-Thon PIGish Musings Today's Sign of the Apocalypse Capitalist of the Week He calls his new business Naked Sculptures and it's looking like winner since he's getting about $3,700 in dead presidents (£2,000) for each naked garden nymph. According to one news item, he's attracting potential buyers from around the world. The Terrors of Channel Surfing After this unpleasant 'in your face, rational adult Sparky' interlude in the Capitol Hill zip code of the Twilight Zone, I set aside my usual scribbler chores and contemplated the essential issue: what size nuke should I use to put Capitol Hill - and the cretins who infest it - out of my misery. Decisions, decisions. Sounding Off On The Great Sellout PIG News salutes World Net Daily for continuing to lead the charge on exposing the Great Sellout. If you haven't heard of this border erasing gem called the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America, wake the hell up before it's too damn late. If half the things leaking out about this damn thing are true, W is selling American sovereignty down the river in the name of his daddy's "New World Order". When all the dust settles, there will be a borderless "North American Community" that encompasses, at minimum Canada, Mexico and what used to be the USA. The following quotes pulled from a July 9 WND story will get you up to speed: CNN's Lou Dobbs Jim Gilchrist, co-founder of the Minutemen Phyllis Schlafly "Bush meant what he said, at Waco, Texas, in March 2005, when he announced his plan to convert the United States into a 'Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America' by erasing our borders with Canada and Mexico. Bush's guest-worker proposal would turn the United States into a boardinghouse for the world's poor, enable employers to import an unlimited number of 'willing workers' at foreign wage levels, and wipe out what's left of the U.S. middle class. Bush lives in a house well protected by a fence and security guards and he associates with rich people who live in gated communities. Yet, for five years, he has refused to protect the property and children of ordinary Arizona citizens from trespassers and criminals." Alan Burkhart, free-lance political scribbler It's time to make W and his pals stop stonewalling. It's time to force them to come clean about the Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America. If they have nothing to hide, why are they all being so secretive about it? If W is flushing our national sovereignty down the crapper, then it's time for him to man up, grow a pair and goddamn tell us. I want some answers, and I want them now. Too Fun To Pass Up Mikey Jackson Twerpy Tommy Cruise
The article goes on to point out how Twerpy bludgeoned everyone with all that asinine details of his Katie Holmes brainwashing adventure and assorted other crap, but now that he's - allegedly - a daddy, he's turned into a clam. Speaking of Twerpy Tommy, the Television Academy nominated the infamous Scientology bashing 'South Park' episode - "Trapped in the Closet" - for an Outstanding Animated Program Emmy. For those with short attention spans, the episode in question is the one Twerpy Tommy hounded Comedy Central into pulling from their lineup. It's the same episode that caused Isaac Hayes to leave the hit show. Are the Emmy people taking a slap at Twerpy Tommy? It damn sure looks that way. Random PIGish Potshots Kim Jong-il I Kim Jong-il will keep bugging America until Uncle Sam stomps him. When Uncle Sam finally does the deed he'll be called a bully - to his face - but everyone will be glad - in private - that he put this lunatic in his place. Kim Jong-il wants to be stomped. I see no reason why we shouldn't honor that request and stomp him...hard. With that settled, we can get down to the real business at hand: how and when. Kim Jong-il II Despite all Kim's antics...despite all the provocations, all W and his minions do is yammer, yammer, yammer about bringing North Korea back to the bargaining table. Kim Jong-il is nuts. He's a dangerous nut. He's a dangerous nut who will nuke us to make a point. It's time for Uncle Sam to shut the hell up and stomp this clown. If we don't want to do it personally, why not arm the Japanese with some nuclear tipped missiles that have sufficient range to hit North Korea? If Kim gets too frisky, then our Rising Sun pals will do what comes naturally and put those nukes to good use. It's not a perfect solution but it keeps us from playing international bully and still gets the job done. W If W wants to convince me that he means business this time, he doesn't need any new legislation. All he has to do is enforce the laws that are already on the books. In a recent World Net Daily commentary, James H. Walsh (former federal prosecutor, former Associate General Counsel of the Immigration and Naturalization Service) cites 7 steps that Uncle Sam can take right now, to secure our borders. Mr. Walsh points out the thrilling fact that all of these steps utilize existing federal law and require no further legislative action: 1. Enforce the "employer sanctions" of IRCA with attention-grabbing criminal and civil penalties for businesses that employ illegal aliens; accept no mitigation and no excuses. 2. Document the fallacy of immigration special interest groups who misstate the numbers of illegal aliens who allegedly pay taxes, when most illegal aliens pay only user and sales taxes and do not pay federal and state income taxes and personal property taxes. 3. Determine the entitlements of "anchor babies" - children born in the United States of illegal alien parent(s). Such children are U.S. citizens with access to all federal and state educational, medical, and welfare benefits. With the increasing numbers of illegal aliens, the true cost of "anchor babies" must be identified for budget purposes. Illegal aliens use their "anchor babies" as mitigating factors to prevent deportation when apprehended; deny illegal aliens this mitigation factor. The family-unity claims by illegal aliens using "anchor babies" are premised on fraud, and fraud vitiates all contracts. 4. Enforce the current federal law that requires a proficiency in English, written and spoken, for citizenship applicants. Stop talking about bilingual ballots. Address the impact of the 2006 May Day immigration demonstrations, which showed that many illegal aliens have no desire to assimilate into the U.S. culture. 5. Require that all federal, state, and local governments, governmental agencies, non-governmental organizations, and educational institutions receiving taxpayer monies obey existing immigration laws. Deny monies and services to agencies and organizations that fail to obey U.S. laws. Civil disobedience, even by clergy, must be punished as provided by law. 6. Investigate voter registration procedures and enforce U.S. voting laws to ensure that no illegal aliens are voting and usurping the rights of citizenship. 7. Apply diplomatic pressure on Mexico and other countries that export their human contraband to the United States to clean up their own houses. Urge such countries to provide the benefits and rights to their own citizens that they demand for their nationals in the United States illegally. Maybe I'll start believing W's change of heart when I see him making a serious attempt to perform on of the foregoing 7 steps. Cindy Sheehan JUNE 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Tantrum [06/30/06] Korea Uncle Sam's response to Kim's plan to test his long range missile is a spiffy one, but it's not without a measure of risk. If our missile defense system works and we managed to shoot Kim's rocket down, that might slap this lunatic back into his place. But, given our missile defense system's spotty record, it's equally possible that we'd miss and that would simply encourage this maniac to Emerilize his brinksmanship several notches. The most ironic element of this unfolding story happened when some of Bubba's presidential minions openly advocated that Uncle Sam dispatch a cruise missile - or two - and destroy North Korea's launch facilities. WHAM! There's no missile to launch. Big, big fun, but don't hold your breath waiting for W to pull the trigger on this one. It's a damn shame that we can't do things the way we did in the bad old days when our foreign policy options included punching a clown like Kim Jong-il's ticket. Using bombs, bullets and/or poison, Uncle Sam's policy of conferring room temperature transitions on lunatics like this one did, in many cases, resolve the issue, at least temporarily. Conditional Rights This pinhead's bovine excrement about "conditional rights" got on my last raw nerve. Imagine that. Those commuters who endured my expletive-laced tantrum during which I attempted to scream some sense into this jackass are due for a pagan scribbler apology. Consider it done. Screaming at my boom box is juvenile, but oddly therapeutic. Now that I'm in a somewhat calmer frame of mind, I'll simply state that the only "condition" placed on any/all of our inalienable individual rights is this: you are obligated to live with and/or suffer the consequences when you exercise your inalienable individual liberty. Does this mean I'm willing to forgive and forget when it comes to this braying jackass? You can't be that simple. If I track this cretin down, I will give him my crash course in American liberty, by cramming a copy of the U.S. Constitution down his gaping maw. It might not do much for him, but it will do wonders for my attitude. The Mexican Hat Dance W's Grand Scheme If you haven't heard of a border-erasing scheme named "The Security and Prosperity Partnership of North America", don't feel like the Lone Ranger. It's a NAFTA offshoot that, at minimum, makes our borders meaningless, and at worse, erases them completely. It's the most tangible outcome of last year's summit meeting between the presidents of Canada, Mexico and the USA. The first phase of the project is already under construction in Kansas City which is, under this scheme, designated as an "inland port" for goods being trucked in from Mexico. The inland port will be linked to a new seaport being built in Baja, California by way of two border erasing corridors: the NAFTA Railroad and the Super Corridor. The former is, as you'd expect, a rail system that allows goods to be shipped directly from the new Mexican port, Lazara Cardenas, via rail, without being stopped, slowed or otherwise checked at the US border. The Super Corridor works the same way, but it's for trucks that bring containers from the Mexican seaport to Kansas City without being stopped, slowed or inspected at the U.S. border. Why, aside from the obvious border erasing reasons, did W sign off on this? Two reasons, both of them union related. The Mexican seaport will cut America's Longshoreman's Union out of the equation. The trucks, driven exclusively, by non-union Mexican drivers will cut the Teamsters Union out of the equation. In one stroke, two major unions get cut off at the knees and there's not a damn thing they can do about it, because NAFTA and the PPNA are done deals that can't be undone. The big loser here is Mexifornia whose port facilities will be bypassed under this new scheme. Is W planning to create an American Union patterned after the European Union? Yup. Will this end the American experiment and plunge us into unrelenting Marxism? Probably, because the most "enlightened" governments south of the Rio Grande are, at best, socialist. Is Vicente W. Bush the most infamous American traitor to come down the pike since Benedict Arnold? Not yet, but when he does crap like this he's getting closer every damn day. Two Brave Americans Butchered Why, exactly, are we letting Murtha, Kennedy, Sheehan and the rest of the caterwauling liberal asshats beat our troops up about Club Gitmo, Abu Ghraib and the rest of that bovine excrement? Today's tragic discovery of the mortal remains of Pfc. Kristian Menchaca, 23, of Houston, and Pfc. Thomas L. Tucker, 25, of Madras, Oregon tells us all we need to know about our enemy. They're vermin and it's time to exterminate them the way we would any cockroach. It's time to take off the kid cloves...it's time to tell the Capitol Hill clowns to butt the hell out...it's time to stop getting in the way and let our highly trained men and women in uniform do the job they're trained to do. If the enemy wants that kind of war, so be it. No mercy, no quarter, no exceptions. The order of the day is: find 'em, kill 'em, plant 'em. This is not a drill. Although these young warriors volunteered to serve their county, they didn't deserve to meet their end that way. It's probably small comfort to the Manchaca and Tucker families, but the elite troops who tracked down that rat bastard Zarqawi, will find the butcher who replaced him, Abu Hamza al- Muhajer. If this new bag of pig crap wanted to paint a bull's-eye on himself he accomplished his mission. Our elite troops will find him and when they do, his end won't be as pleasant as Zarqawi's. Our condolences go out to the families of Pfc. Menchaca and Pfc. Tucker. W Returns to Enemy Territory Fresh from his daring, top secret visit to Iraq, W flew into the heart of enemy territory again last week. He made a brief, but enriching stop in Seattle to help an Elephant Clan Congressman, David Reichert, raise money for his re-election. Painfully aware that this Great Northwest Nitwit enclave is a haven for militant lefties, W spent a tad less than 4 hours in enemy territory. We'll let you draw your own conclusions about the comparative dangers posed by Baghdad and Seattle. We're more than a little amused by the fact that he spent more time in Iraq than he did in Seattle. It might have something to do with the fact that although they're blood-thirsty Islamikaze zealots, the Iraqi "insurgents" are, by and large, playing with a fuller deck than your garden variety Great Northwest Nitwit. PIG gives props to W for another well executed foray into enemy territory. A Commentary on a New Brit Tax Grab [Andrew filed this report on the latest tax grab by Brit Nanny State looters.] It's Grrrrrrr time here. We live in what could be described a 'picturesque location'. Backing onto open fields, 4,500 square foot garden with fruit trees, quiet village, decent people, affluent area, low crime...all the reasons why we moved here. All paid for by the enterprise and hard work of myself and my good lady. The UK government is considering increasing taxation for those with 'nicer' homes or those in a 'picturesque location'. Our house has also been extended. The motivation, ability to fund and management of risk involved in such a project is all down to the home owner - us. We are now to be punished for our enterprise, contribution to national wealth and job creation [VAT on work and materials, tax on builders' profit, fees to buildings regulators and local council etc. etc...]
I'm sure you have fly-tipping in the USA, perhaps known by another name. [PIG guesses this involves miscreants leaving their garbage at someone else's abode to avoid the relevant "garbage weight" charges.] Given the prospect of generating a lot of waste (household with lots of children), additional cost to householder for collection and processing of waste will certainly result in an increase in fly-tipping by those unwilling/unable to pay. Fly-tipping by it's very nature (drive down secluded lane [pristine area filled with nice expensive homes, large gardens and picturesque views sounds ideal], open boot [trunk], deposit nasty contents in hedgerow, drive home) is an activity which is rarely observed and even more rarely punished. Now then, what cost to the treasury for police and court time for fly-tipping enforcement? Yet another knee jerk, laughable, sound bite policy from New Labour. Random PIGish Thoughts Ann Coulter Zarqawi Fidel's top home girl, Cindy Sheehan, is "troubled" over Zarqawi's explosive transition to room temperature status. She's spouting the lefty talking points that whine about "Zarqawi's death feeding the cycle of violence" Killing him will make the "insurgency" worse. Perhaps, but Zarqawi was charismatic and devilishly clever. It's highly unlikely that they have another one like him waiting in reserve. The lasting legacy of Zarqawi's death is - or ought to be - the fact that when Uncle Sam goes after you, sooner or later he'll nail your terrorist butt. The Anna Kournikova of Chess While we're in this "Anna Kourikova of" mood we might as well find a few more of our own. We're looking for a female whose earnings far outpace her accomplishments due to her looks. That makes Danica Patrick the Anna Kournikova of auto racing and Michelle Wie the Anna Kournikova of professional golf. Both are good enough to belong on their respective 'tours' but, to date, neither has shown the ability to seal the deal with a win. For the record the real Anna K is, always will be, a winner in our book. Lies, Damn Lies, and Border Security Whoppers Come Fly With Me British Knife Amnesty [This guest commentary is a follow-up to PIG News' recent story on the Brit knife amnesty. It was written by our International News Correspondent, Andrew D. Moore.] Apparently Her Majesty’s government is to introduce other innovative laws to combat the ‘new’ terror of hand knives (and by ‘new’ I mean ‘something which happened yesterday that I can make some political capital out of’). That of course would be the same ‘new’ as in discovered during the Bronze Age. New rules raise the age from which a miscreant youth hell-bent on perpetrating a vicious stabbing can take a knife from his Mum’s kitchen drawer, up from 16 to 18 years of age. Additionally this is also to be the legal age when the same youth can manufacture a sharp blade from a piece of steel on his Dad’s grinder. Miscreant youth senior (aged over 18) who has served his time as a Street-punk ™ may of course purchase a Ninja knife and simply hand it to an aspiring punk. (Note to government: Instruct police chiefs to arrest all mothers of teenage youths on the presumption that they are capable of aiding and abetting possession of a potato knife by purchasing it from the shops). (Note to potato growers: Only grow varieties suitable for baking. Other forms of potato consumption marginalised by legislation banning peeling.) (Additional note to government: Raise the legal age for procurement of 12 inches of ½ inch flat bar and a bench top grinder - NB: legal if made by two separate purchases, doh.) Perhaps possession of sharp flint is to be considered suitable for prohibition. Flint certainly caused a lot of trouble for the Mammoths. I find it entertaining and amazing that these pinhead political idiots never seem to understand the adage ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way’. If some street punk wants to strut around with a knife in his pocket he will do. Prosecuting hardware store owners is not the answer. Weapons collected during an amnesty are handed in by those not wishing to use the knife for its nastier purpose, or those who are concerned at the implication of owning such a weapon (I'm sure it will benefit to some extent). However, hardened Street-punk ™ won’t be handing his blade into PC plod anytime soon. I’m sure the statistics will prove that the 99.99% of people who comply with this nonsense are NOT the 0.01% who walk the streets with intent to stab someone. What is required is:
This is another example of immediate impact, sound-bite policy making courtesy of H.M. Government. Identifying the Real Boob Tube Obscenity According to some fishwrap prose I spotted earlier today, our elected tormentors are thisclose to making "indecency" on the boob tube a lot more expensive for those hapless broadcasters who stray into Brent Bozell's bull's-eye. Although the bill will, when it's approved, increase the fines from $32,500 per incident to $325,000 per incident, it's not the final answer to what ails the boob tube. There are, believe it or not, some, "improvements" required before this legicrap achieves its stated goal of eradicating obscenity/indecency from the airwaves. The most obvious change the elected tormentors should make is to banish the FCC to the scrap heap and make Brent Bozell the Czar of "decency" in America. He already holds down that post, in every meaningful sense of the word, so why bother with these taxpayer funded punks on the FCC? Cut out the middle man and let Brent ravage the First Amendment out in the open where everybody can see him. A second obvious change involves getting real about what constitutes obscene things that transpire on the tube on a daily/weekly basis. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong, again. I have no problems with nipple slips, potty talk, "sexual situations" and all the other things that given Brent Bozell heartburn. Nope, that's not what I mean by "obscene". Here, for your edification are a few things that are so blatantly obscene they should be banished from the tube, forever:
Instead of worrying about someone accidentally getting a peek at Janet Jackson's chocolate sweater puppies, our elected tormentors should clean up their own act, because when it comes to televised indecency and outright obscenity, the worst examples in television history happen when the cameras assault American sensitivity with warts and all coverage of our elected tormentors in action. Give me the potty talk and nipple slips any damn day because it's nothing compared to the utter filth that transpires during a congressional hearing or legislative floor debate. Our elected tormentors should tell Brent Bozell to go pound sand then do something meaningful for a change like telling The Swimmer to shut the hell up and sit is bloated butt down, permanently. Enough is enough! Stuff That Scampered Through My Alleged Mind City of Angels MeChA Charter School Marcos Aguilar, the Colonista dude standing on ground zero in the City of Angels charter school uproar, is the predicable result of a four year stint in an American university. He's smooth; he's paranoid; he hates Western Culture; he's the classic ethnic studies pinhead. We're guessing that his arrival in the media bull's-eye is his own fault. Whatever he's doing as Principal of La Academia Semillas - an Aztec Centric curriculum - it probably didn't prepare him for a full court media press. I'm guessing that he got too smug for his own good and thought he could get away with throwing a scare into a Gringo radio network reporter. Speaking personally, I don't give a flaming damn what kind of Mecha-fied notions Marcos harbors. I don't care if he's teaching his Colonista students that the Gringo stole their land. I don't care if he rejects the government school scam's - alleged - attempt to Americanize their young charges. He can teach his students that the earth is flat and the center of the universe and that's cool with me. My only objection - like my objection to all government cess-school bovine excrement - is being forced to pay for it. PIG will have more extensive coverage on this story as it unfolds. Cold Case Stays Cold Sign of the Apocalypse? MAY 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [05/26/06] Redefining Reality Tony Snow Loves That RoveCo Kool-Aid The reason zealots like this scribbler insists on border security first is quite simple. In 1986 Eduardo Kennedy and the rest of our elected tormentors passed a comprehensive immigration bill that included border security and amnesty. The amnesty provisions were implemented immediately. The border security provisions never got off the launching pad because the feds refused to fund the measures. Then, as now, enhanced border security was a red herring. It was nothing more than a sales strategy that congress never intended to implement. We "border enforcement hard liners" remember the ensuing debacle vividly and are determined to prevent it from happening again. Tony knows this, but he's so glutted on RoveCo's Kool-Aid that his synapses are already shutting down. How Stupid Do They Think We Are? The Capitol Hill Lockdown Stories That Wouldn't Shock Us Item 1: Bush Trampled Item 2: Vicente's Red Carpet Wranglers Item: Juan's Head Explodes Item: Osama Calls It Off If You're Not Boiling Mad, Wake the Hell Up Item: A Recipe for Disaster Ingredients: Instructions: Mix in a congress that is tacitly Elephant Clan, but is, in fact run by Eduardo Kennedy. Add a "comprehensive" (the preferred 21st century word for amnesty) immigration bill that makes the 1986 debacle look like kid stuff. Inflate the witch's brew with hot air and empty rhetoric about border enforcement. When the evil mixture is pipping hot, serve it to the traitorous bastard occupying the Oval Office for his signature. The Tasty Results: 100% The percentage of legal immigrants admitted under the senate bill who will be ignorant and pennyless. Item: How The Senate Bill Differs from bill passed in 1986 Name:
Terminology:
Border Enforcement:
Stated Impact:
Unintended (?) Impact:
Item: Be careful what you ask for When RoveCo swept into office in 2000, the sales pitch centered on the glorious results that could be obtained if the Elephant Clan controlled both chambers of congress and the White House. In the 2002 mid term elections that pipe dream became a reality. Terrible Tommy Daschel was banished and the Elephant Clan finally had control of the Senate. Happily ever after did not ensue, because, gutless to their marrow, the Elephant Clan senators, yielded control of the upper chamber to none other than Eduardo "The Swimmer" Kennedy. Even Vicente W. Bush, our so-called compassionate "conservative" Oval Office lurker, honors Eduardo as the tacit ruler of the USA:
You asked for a government run by the "enlightened", "small government" Elephant Clan. You got a federal government run by a bleeding heart, two-fisted spending, parasite loving rat bastard named Eduardo Kennedy. Why are we even bothering to let the Elephant Clan play the middleman? Why not simply put Eduardo and his pals, officially in control of congress? The primary RoveCo selling point in the 2006 election cycle trumpets the disaster that will ensue of those evil Donkey Clan punks take charge. The Donkey Clan is already in charge; the only thing that would change is that it would now be "official". Eduardo is already running congress. No matter how this election cycle unfolds, that's unlikely to change. I know it sucks, but the truth has a habit of reeking that way. Man the Barricades? Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I sense something stirring in America. From sea to shining sea, sovereign individuals are taking a long, hard look at the way the Nanny State nitwits are mucking things up and they're getting boiling mad. At every level of government, elected tormentors and the bureaucrats who do their bidding, are despoiling those they're supposed to be "serving". At every level of government these aspiring tyrants are devising ways to steal more money to fuel their insatiable appetite for power.
When outraged citizens order their elected tormentor to knock it the hell off, he, she, heshe or it, will probably ignore the sovereign individual. On those occasions when the tormentor grants the constituent a moment of their "valuable" time, they'll smile indulgently, pat the angry voter on the head and try to distract them with some tangential issue:
As reality-insulated as they are, our elected tormentors have a highly tuned sensitivity to anything that might loosen their death grip on their positions of power. Whenever it appears that citizen outrage is reaching dangerous levels, the political hacks use the usual smoke and mirrors to distract their core supporters with side issues. In the Donkey Clan's case this will be blatant - "we'll plunder those evil, greedy, rich bastards until they bleed greenbacks" - pandering to class warfare cretins. The Donkey Clan will invariably mount new assaults on the latest "big" enemy of the moment: big oil, big food, big tobacco. They'll seal the deal by promising to turn reality on its head by promoting their parasite constituents to positions of power over those heartless, greedy achievers. The Elephant Clan takes a different approach whenever its core constituency threatens to go postal. Adopting a properly-pious pose, the Elephant Clan mounts another assault on free speech in the name of "decency". At the same time, they'll vow to "save" marital bliss by keeping it out of GLAAD BAAG hands. They might promise to evict Charles Darwin from America's science classrooms and replace him with Genesis. They'll play the culture warfare card by alarming their constituents about "activist" judges. In short, they'll do everything in their power to distract their core supporters from the real threats to every sovereign individual: the border jumping scumbag invasion, the runaway government spending that squanders our stolen money so egregiously, the geometric growth of government power - at all levels of the Nanny State. Like I said a lifetime ago, I'm sensing a growing disquietude among America's sovereign individuals. I'm hearing the faint rumblings of rugged American individuals shaking off their lethargy. I'm detecting a growing awareness that neither of the existing political parties is performing those essential, Constitutionally sanctioned tasks they were elected to perform. I'm hearing more angry voices talking about staging a full-fledged political revolt to restore control of America - and it's future - to America's besieged sovereign individuals. Every day, more sovereign individuals are getting mad as hell over this endless political poker game whose only purpose is to keep the two political clans in power. The game is rigged, PIGsters. They're playing with marked cards and a stacked deck. It's time to do something about it; it's time to kick over the goddamn table and start a new game using unmarked cards that aren't stacked against us. Go ahead, get good and mad sovereign individual Sparky. It's time to start this political revolution before these putrid political punks flush "a nation conceived in liberty" down the crapper. It's time to use this election cycle wisely by dumping every damn one of these Nanny State asshats. Hand Wringing in an Election Year The Elephant Clan spin doctors seem to be bracing themselves for a butt-kicking this fall. The Donkey Clan is so primed for their stunning victory they're calling that Marxist hack, Nancy Pelosi, Speaker Pelosi. As alarming as that might sound to the Elephant Clan faithful, it's not exactly an impossible dream. When it comes to a crushing defeat in November, the Elephant Clan might be right, because they're not exactly impressive these days. Here are a few of the Elephant Clan's glorious accomplishments:
The Elephant Clan braintrust knows it's in big trouble so they're frantically searching for an issue that will lure the VRWC out to the polls this fall so they can punch that chad for the Elephant Clan. So far, the only thing they've got to counter problems that they brought on themselves it the same tired mantra that we've all grown to hate.. Somebody needs to clue RoveCo that "We know we really suck, but they still suck more" isn't getting the job done these days. I'm guessing that message is starting to sink in which might explain why they're running another tax cut up the legislative flagpole. Don't get me wrong, if they want to steal less of my rightful property, that's cool, but I still want them to stop squandering it on crap like that Bridge to Nowhere, and all the rest of those pork projects. If the Elephant Clan wants to pull its political bacon out of the fire, they need to make enforcing our borders the cornerstone of their mid-year election efforts. It needs to start at the top with Vicente W. Bush. He needs to get real and make a pledge, on nationwide television, that he'll spend the next two years doing everything in his power to enforce our borders, including cracking down on those who hire border jumpers. He should make it clear that he favors amnesty, but he won't bring it up again, for the next two years, at which time he will have demonstrated his willingness to enforce our borders. If, after two years, he's done a commendable job on the border enforcement side of the border jumper problem, he would then ask us to hear him out on his amnesty plan. If W could make that pledge...if he would do what's necessary to bring Juan McCain into line on border enforcement, first, he might save his party from a drubbing in November. Furthermore, he might save America's sovereign individuals from a President Hillary Clinton. Quotes Worth Repeating New York Governor George Pataki on Border Jumping Scumbags: House Republicans Demand That Uncle Sam Starts Enforcing Our Laws Against Hiring Border Jumpers Tom Tancredo Sounds off about Border Jumping Scumbag Street Protests Peter Schwartz Differentiates Democracy and Freedom America's defining characteristic is freedom. Freedom exists when there are limitations on government, limitations imposed by the principle of individual rights. America was established as a republic, under which government is restricted to protecting our inalienable rights; this should not be called "democracy." Thus, you are free to criticize your neighbors, your society, your government--no matter how many people wish to pass a law censoring you. But if "popular will" is the standard, then the individual has no rights--only temporary privileges, granted or withdrawn according to the mass sentiment of the moment. The Founders understood that the tyranny of the majority could be just as evil as the tyranny of an absolute monarch. Yes, we have the ability to vote, but that is not the yardstick by which freedom is measured. After all, even dictatorships hold official elections. It is only the context of liberty--in which individual rights may not be voted out of existence--that justifies, and gives meaning to, the ballot box. In a genuinely free country, voting pertains only to the particular means of safeguarding individual rights. There is no moral "right" to vote to destroy rights..." (Capitalism Magazine) Howard University Egghead Sounds off on Border Jumping Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson Bitch-slaps Eduardo "The Swimmer" Kennedy America's Troubling Foreign Policy No matter how noble the intentions, America's assertive foreign policy under George W. Bush has made the world a much more dangerous place for rank and file American citizens. Ironically, our attacks on Afghanistan and Iraq, left our primary enemies in the Middle East - Iran and Saudi Arabia - untouched, and, arguably, strengthened. Afghanistan and Iraq were problems, to be sure, but neither posed a mortal danger to Uncle Sam or our liberty. The same can't be said for Iran and Saudi Arabia. Admittedly, our intentions no longer matter because our troops went into Afghanistan and Iraq, so we are obligated to give them our full support. That's a non-negotiable given. It's also a given that Iran and Saudi Arabia still pose a threat that can't be ignored. Iran is, potentially, a military threat that, while it's incapable of defeating us, is dangerous enough, and just powerful enough to destabilize the entire world. Our attempts to flank them with our forces in Afghanistan and Iraq has radicalized them, transforming them into a much bigger pain in our butt. Making it the ideal spark for the coming world war, Iran is led by a raving, supernaturalist lunatic who has deluded himself, and his people, with visions of Mahmoud, the Mecca Maniac Messiah. Mahmoud has made it clear that Iran won't mind going down for the count, as long as they get to take America and Israel with them. As dangerous as the Iranians are by themselves, they're much more dangerous, now that they've formed a pact with the Ruskies and the Chinese. It's my sincere conviction that, when World War III begins, Iran will play the essential role filled by Serbia in World War I. Unlike Iran, Saudi Arabia's threat is essentially philosophical, rather than military. The Sand Box clowns continue to pose a mortal, philosophical, threat to our inalienable individual liberty, by exporting their radical flavor of Mecca Mania to the entire world. Wherever this vile flavor of political Mecca Mania takes charge, inalienable individual liberty is abolished and replaced by theocratic tyranny. By promoting a radical flavor of Mecca Mania that seeks to transform a given nation's government into a theocracy, the Saudis have succeeded in imposing 7th century supernaturalism on susceptible nations in Africa, the Middle East and Asia. Leaving nothing to chance, the Sand Box clowns are flooding Europe with radical Mecca Maniacs. Which European country will be the first to be Islamified? It's too soon to tell, but France is at or near the top of the "most likely" list. While America is, understandably, diverted by our on-going military involvement in the Middle East, China is busy encircling us by sinking it's dragon claws into susceptible nations like Venezuela, Panama, Canada and most recently, Mexico. While we're allowing the Middle East to distract us, our flanks - in our own back yard - are being compromised. In the short term, the Middle East needs to be our top priority. But, we need to keep an eye on our southern flank because the Chinese know it's where we're the most vulnerable. I'd like to believe that RoveCo, fronted by George W. Bush, has this Chinese threat on their radar, but it's hard to have much confidence in an administration that fumbled the Katrina disaster so spectacularly, can't - or won't - secure our borders, and has the Transportation Security Administration strip searching 90 year old women while they give young Middle Eastern males the red carpet treatment. The more I see RoveCo in action, the more convinced I am that we're being led by the Gang that Can't Shoot Straight. When the world gets this dangerous, Oval Office ineptitude is a luxury we damn sure can't afford. APRIL 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Prattle Rant [04/26/06] It's a damn shame that all the hot air being expended over energy/gasoline prices can't be harnessed, because it's probably enough to furnish America's energy needs for the rest of the millennium. The downside of all this hot air is its impact on Global Warming, but we can live with that dire "threat" if you can. There are, as you'd expect, several elements of the political chest beating that bug the hell out of us. 1) No matter how much the usual suspects shout "conservation" from the rooftops, it's little more than a red herring. Yes, conservation can alleviate some of the strain on your personal energy budget. But, in the larger sense, there is, quite simply, no way to "conserve" our way to energy independence. 2) Our elected tormentors are determined to make things, much, much worse than they already are with these witch hunts for dastardly capitalist price fixers, and warnings about Draconian, supply-restricting taxes and penalties. 3) Government, is, as noted in prior tirades, a large part of the problem. Their energy management ineptitude put most of our proven oil reserves off limits. Their pandering to deep pocketed agricultural interests inflicted Ethanol on America, despite the fact that it's more expensive due to its limited supply, is a major pain to transport, is much less efficient as a fuel source, and presents serious problems for the refineries required to use it. 4) The government - at all levels - makes more $ per gallon in gas taxes then the oil companies make in profits. Last year the Feds raked in $54 billion in oil and gas taxes, compared to the highly publicized $36 billion in profits racked up by ExxonMobile, the largest U.S. oil company. The Tax Foundation, paints a bull's-eye on this tax grab with this quote: "Tax collections on the production and import of gasoline by state and federal governments are already near historic highs. In fact, in recent decades governments have collected far more revenue from gasoline taxes than the largest U.S. oil companies have collectively earned in domestic profits. [Since 1977, state and federal Tax Nazis ripped off at least $1.34 trillion in gasoline tax revenues in inflation adjusted dollars. That's] more than twice the amount of domestic profits earned by major U.S. oil companies during the same period." More than a trillion dollars in taxes! That's the real windfall profit. 5) The explainers - the CATO Institute, oil industry spokesdolts, et al - get on my last raw nerve. I am, more or less, up to speed on the market forces at work. I'm even willing to concede the point that as a percentage of household income, we're still spending less on oil than we did in the 70's and 80's. I get all that, but I still don't like it when I watch the per gallon price of gas rocket past $3.00 per gallon on its way to $4.00 or $5.00 per gallon. All the "relatively speaking this is a bargain" crap is a waste of breath. I get it, ok, now shut the hell up already. The most insulting part of this energy crap is watching our elected tormentors pontificating about a problem that, in large part, they helped create. With one or two exceptions, capitol hill cretins from both parties are salivating over the prospect of plundering those deep oil company pockets. If you don't know what a disastrous idea that is, you're not paying attention. Spreading Democracy RoveCo has the Kool-Aid club spouting the usual bovine excrement about Uncle Sam's noble goals in the Middle East. RoveCo insists that, unlike prior infidel incursions, Uncle Sam is only seeking to make things better. According to RoveCo, the best way for America to make things better in the region - in the whole world - involves promoting, fostering and/or spreading democracy to that explosive region of the planet. Spreading "democracy" to the Middle East, and elsewhere sounds like a spiffy notion, until you start defining your terms. "Democracy", despite its glorious reputation, is, quite simply, mob rule - adherents prefer the term "majority rule". We're selling mob rule to Mecca Maniacs? Why are we trying to give them what they already have? Democracy has already taken root in the Middle East, but don't hold your breath waiting for any rational adult to celebrate the results. If our goal is to implement mob rule in the Middle East, why are we casting aspersions on Iran and the Palestinians? Iran is, strictly speaking, a democracy. The mob put down their copy of the Koran, stumbled down to the polls and punched a chad for President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the lunatic who is currently running that padded cell in the Twilight Zone. Is that what our brave men and women in uniform are fighting - and dying - for in Afghanistan and Iraq? The Palestinians have democracy. In that violence plagued hell hole, the usual suspects stopped strapping explosives to Islamikaze pinheads long enough to punch a chad for Hamas, a notorious terrorist organization. Is that what our brave men and women in uniform are fighting - and dying - for in Afghanistan and Iraq? The problem with democracy is quite simple, but far from inconsequential. Democracy is, at its core, "whatever the majority thinks is cool". That's the last thing the denizens of the Middle East need. What RoveCo and their minions should be promoting is inalienable individual liberty, a philosophy that grants each individual certain inherent rights that cannot be abrogated by the state, the mob, or a popular flavor of theology. I know what you're thinking and you're right. The last thing the Mullahs are willing to tolerate is individual liberty. Mecca Maniacs have demonstrated with murderous glee that they won't tolerate the kind of independent thought that comes with inalienable individual liberty. This PIG prattler isn't delusional enough to imagine that promoting inalienable individual liberty would be an easy sell. I am not delusional enough to think that inalienable individual liberty has a snowball's chance in hell of taking root in Iran, Pakistan, Saudia Arabia or whatever the Palestinian's call their circle of hell. I am delusional enough to think that our political leaders should be proud of American's founding principles. I am delusional enough to think that, starting with the White House, our political leaders should have the nads to tell our Middle Eastern "friends" that what they need to counter fundamentalist Mecca Mania is inalienable individual liberty. It's time for America to proudly proclaim our belief in our founding principles - Inalienable Individual Liberty - because promoting mob rule - A.K.A. "democracy" - in the Middle East makes as much sense as selling ice to Eskimos. Assorted Synaptic Activity Human Biology What's that? Do I have a better way to perpetuate the human species? Better? I'll let you decide that, but the following excerpt does describe one potential safeguard:
On behalf of the entire PIG staff, I pass along the following advice: Enjoy little Suri while you can, TomKat, because, one fine day your differently-rational antics will reach critical mass. When those chickens come home to roost, little Suri will headline a story about an armed and dangerous young woman who mowed down a couple spaceships full of Scientologists. Attention PIGsters: the countdown to Suri goes postal is running. This is not a drill. May Day Gridlock Setting aside the obvious fact that this is, in reality, an act of terrorism against the United States of America, I have a some notions to lay on these rat bastards. From what I saw on my last trip to the City of Angels, you're a day late and a dollar short when it comes to imposing gridlock. A couple billion horn-honking, one-finger-saluting motorists have already been there and done that. It seems highly unlikely that you can make things worse. But, if it thrills you spitless, go ahead and give the already enraged American citizens another reason to start kicking some border jumping scumbag butt. Strange Stuff I Strange Stuff II Cynical bastards that we are, we strongly suspect that some capitalist's campaign donation check didn't clear, or lacked the requisite number of trailing 0's. The Sky's The Limit I heard one of our elected tormentors - Chucky Schumer, I think - indulging in the usual chest beating over the scourge of stratospheric gasoline prices. Never a big believer in the marketplace, Chucky wants to poke around in oil company records on a futile search for the price gouging smoking gun. If Chucky wants to find the rat bastard who is, in large part, to blame for the mile high gas prices, he can find that blithering fool in the nearest mirror. I know what you're thinking and you're right, up to a point. Our elected tormentors aren't the whole problem, but they're a large, contributing factor that keeps making this gas price crap worse with each passing minute. Here are a few of the ways the Nanny State exacerbates this problem: Item: Switching from MTB to Ethanol Item: Banning development of our proven domestic oil reserves. Item: Federal, State and Local taxes. Is there a snowball's chance in hell that Chucky and his pals will stop tinkering with the gasoline mixture, allow us to develop our domestic oil reserves or declare a gas tax holiday during this "crisis"? Probably not, so while we're giving him advice that he won't take, here are some other suggestions that Chucky might want to ignore: build more Nuclear power plants; tell the tree huggers to shut the hell up and let the oil companies build more refineries; pull your head out of your butt, Chucky. The last item is, by any standard, the most important, but the least likely. Assorted Pagan Rants The Border Jumping Scumbag Work Stoppage Trying to pin down Maxine Waters Ted's quest, although newsworthy, was in vain, since neither Maxine, nor her staff was on hand to greet Ted. Undaunted, Ted vowed his support for those illegals who wanted his assistance to mount a civil rights campaign for them, but there's one teensy-weensy catch. They need to return to Mexico, because that's the only place where Ted is willing to help them secure their civil rights. Nice try, Ted, but Maxine is notoriously elusive when somebody is trying to pin her down. Don't take our word for it, ask Larry Elder. He invited her to appear on his show more than a year ago, but she's never found the time, or the spine to face the Sage from South Central. Some chilling Comrade Hillary quotes The same article yammered on about Comrade Hillary's scheme to impose a $20 billion dollar tax on oil companies who "price gouge". Comrade Hillary describes her brain-fart as follows:
Comrade Hillary promises that this new Nanny State slush fund will be used wisely, and assures her loyal comrades that in some manner as yet unspecified she will stop oil companies from passing their increased tax burden along to their customers. Twerpy Tommy's damage control As a result of Twerpy's pit stop in objective reality, he's trying to rebuild his damaged public image, but it's not having the desired result. The more he talks...the more he tries to explain his antics, the crazier he sounds. Personally, I happen to enjoy Twerpy's differently-lucid outbursts. That's why I'm strongly suggesting that Twerpy Tommy give up this image rebuilding effort before some rational adults in white coats start fitting him for a straitjacket. Ivory Tower fun and games A Kent State sorority, Chi Omega, thrilled a korrectnik who was catering their soiree when they handed out a certain award to one of their Chi Omega home girls. The award that shocked the caterer was "the blackest Chi Omega" award, a tribute that had nothing to do with the recipient's melanin-enrichment. That's one reason why the caterer was shocked, the award went to a lily white sorority member who, as luck would have it, is dating a melanin-enriched lad. Despite the fact that this award was the brainchild of the lucky winner's melanin-enriched date, the usual whiners launched a panty-twisting Korrectnik hissy fit. Ignoring an abject apology from the Chi Omega chapter's president, the school put the sorority on probation and condemned all its members to "sensitivity training". Two "Bite Me's" and a "Cool" Knowing when the quit That North Carolina DA seems determined to milk the infamous Duke University lacrosse team "rape" case to the bitter end. Despite the fact that his DNA evidence didn't deliver the smoking gun he expected...despite the fact that there is (allegedly) evidence that the victim arrived at the party with those bumps an bruises...despite the fact that this "case" is coming apart like a cheap suit, he's determined to grab for that pot of upward mobility political gold at the end of the judicial system rainbow. PIG wishes this fool good luck, because he's going to need it. If they say "it" one more time, I'll go postal For those who haven't made the long trek to our Colonista section, I'll quote this relevant piece of prose from the PIG's Immigration Primer:
How much of the world's poverty are we expected to import? How mired in the inevitable third world cess-pool that America will become must we get before somebody wakes the hell up and realizes that unrestricted immigration is a goddamn problem? What is it going to take to make our elected tormentors wake the hell up? A spiffy Skank adventure
Due to my lofty position on the PIG staff, I'm empowered to confer PIG Hero Status on the First Class passenger to gave the Skank that verbal bitch-slapping. We are, in this instance, very amused. Random Synaptic Activity on a Saturday Afternoon New Orleans fate remains unsettled Are we all feeling better now? What's that you're saying Je$$e? You demand that this "city in the hole by the sea" version of Humpty Dumpty be put together again, no matter how long it takes? That's not gonna happen dude, and no rational adult gives a flaming damn what happens to your pal Ray Nagin. Maybe - and this is going to shock you, Je$$e - it's time for Ray to stop slopping at the taxpayer trough and get a real job. Tragically, the new, hopefully improved New Orleans will still reside in a deepening hole by the sea. It makes no sense to any legitimately rational adult, but there's nothing anyone can do about it. So be it. The rebuilt New Orleans can be better - or worse - than the one that preceded it, but that's not our choice to make. That decision is left for those hardy individuals who, inexplicably, like living in a city at the bottom a hole next to the sea. I don't know about you but I'll be interested in seeing how New Orleans' denizens decide to reshape the battered, but unbroken city. A burning Islamikaze question. This week, there were at least two stories about female Islamikazes blowing up themselves - plus as many infidels as possible - for the greater glory of Allah. My question is simple, what glorious, too good to pass up reward awaits this Islamikaze wench after she makes the explosive transition to tiny little room temperature pieces? Try as I might, I can't see the heavenly pot of gold at the end of this Islamikaze wench rainbow. What's the point of "Playboy" with out the naked yum-yum? Twice Bitten Four decades ago, in the mid 60's, Congress fixed our broken immigration system "for all time", rewarding the (approximately) 600,000 border jumpers already here with amnesty. Twenty years later, after the "tough new border enforcement rules" enacted in the 60's were never implemented, Teddy Kennedy spearheaded another Capitol Hill scheme to fix our broken immigration system "for all time". Following the mid 60's game plan, the 3,000,000 border jumpers already here were deemed too numerous and too 'embedded' to deport so they were rewarded with amnesty. And how, you ask, did this new "strict border enforcement and we really mean it this time" scheme work? Twenty years after Teddy's mid 80's amnesty scheme was deemed a miserable failure, Teddy Kennedy - aided and abetted by a rat bastard named John McCain - is up to his old tricks. The "really, really strict new border enforcement rules" from the 80's that were never implemented are deemed a "failure", because when you don't use the damn things they don't work. The 12,000,000 (25,000,000 is closer to the truth) border jumpers infesting our nation are deemed too numerous and too embedded to deport, so, once again, Teddy is scheming to flush American citizenship down the crapper with a new, improved amnesty scheme. If Americans let them get away with it again, we can look forward to an older than dirt Teddy Kennedy proposing the 2026 Amnesty for the 50,000,000 to 120,000,000 border jumping scumbags who will be infesting the USA by that time. How many times will America's allegedly rational adults fall for this "we're really going to get serious about border enforcement" crap? How many times will we allow this Capitol Hill bait and switch crap before we get royally pissed and majorly kick some elected tormentor butt? Every goddamn time they spew the same drivel, and each time they make the problem worse. Each time they dazzle us with all that juicy border enforcement bait, but when they seal the deal, we end up with the border jumping scumbag switch: a 5 to 10-fold increase in the border jumping scumbag traffic that's already turned parts of this nation into a third world cesspool. If these clowns pull this crap again, this year, we need to fire every goddamn one of these border jumping scumbag loving rat bastards. Enough is enough! Saddle Up We don't mean to be alarmists, but there are some ominous portents that have us more than a tad concerned. Based on a casual reading of the news, we suspect that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are headed for the barn to saddle up their trusty steeds. What's that you say? We're being paranoid? Your attitude needs work, Sparky, but, as usual, we forgive you. Paranoid! That's the thanks we get for trying to keep our loyal readers ahead of the apocalyptic curve. An underwear hating skank whose primary claims to fame are an inheritance, a famous last name, and diseased nads that have seen more traffic than the Holland Tunnel continues her relentless assault on our sanity. We double dog dare you to go through a single damn day without being grossed out by Paris "Skank" Hilton. Saddle up. VH-1 continues to hasten our doom with reality shows that must be created by criminally insane boob tube producers. PIG's least favorite reality show "star", Flavor Flav insulted our intelligence with a show called "Flavor of Love" wherein, a group of clinically bonkers women, competed for the right be Flav's main squeeze. No sooner had that obscenity ended when VH-1 unleashes an atrocity that runs a close second to anything featuring Flav: "So NoTORIous", staring a wench whose whole career can be summed up in with these telling words: She's Aaron Spelling's daughter. Saddle up. The 2008 Oval Office Derby could feature two stellar reasons to stay home and pray for some long overdue "smiting". The Elephant Clan's top contender - depending on which poll you read - is a free speech hating, border jumping scumbag coddling cretin who tries to hide his liberal claptrap by pinning a "maverick" label on himself. The Donkey Clan's top contender - depending on which poll you read - is an acid-tongued, neo-Marxist Harpy whose idea of a well-run country was Stalinist Russia. If a Hillary vs. John McCain doesn't get those Horsemen moving, nothing will. Saddle up. Barbara Streisand is planning - you might want to grab your preferred adult beverage - ANOTHER farewell tour. Didn't she have her final - "I mean it this time" - good riddance, uh, Farewell, tour last year? We'd like to believe her, this time, but we know better. Saddle up. A nation run by 7th century religious fanatics and homicidal maniacs is thisclose to having an arsenal of fully functional nuclear weapons. If Iran's presidential lunatic isn't a harbinger of the Four Horsemen then he must be one of them! Saddle up. A couch jumping space cadet named Twerpy Tommy Cruise has been allowed to pollute the human gene pool by spawning. SADDLE UP! Ignore this impending doom at your own peril, head in the sand Sparky. A Political Dream Team [During an e-mail exchange with a PIG reader, I remembered this venerable rant and decided to, belatedly, run it up the PIG Prattle flagpole. For those who obsess on such trivia, here is the reader prose that triggered this response: "PS: I do like Hillary; she's a mega fox, super intelligent, more caring than mom, supports our troops more than anyone else (don't believe me?-- just check on the number of photo ops), and most important, she has a simply awesome behind. This country needs a president like her--she won't ever work at making an ass of herself--it'll all be natural." (Dave K.) The following prose is a suitable follow-up to Dave's Hillary veneration. ] Showing her true colors, America's leading equality bimbo, a woman who dreams of taking the pseudo science of Social Engineering to undreamed of new heights, Comrade Hillary, finds no personal joy in the classless society she's trying to ram down our throats. Instead, she envisions herself in the terminally non-egalitarian role of President Comrade Hillary, a very bold new concept. There's something distinctly, predictably, Orwellian about it. Taking a page from my dude George's (Orwell, dummy) book, Animal Farm, President Comrade Hillary embraces the neo-Orwellian axiom: ‘Everyone is equal to everyone else, but some [Prez Comrade Hillary] are more equal than others.’ If she's so ambitious, you're screaming, why does she pointedly deny harboring Presidential ambitions? Do I really need to explain this to you? Obviously, before she can share her Presidential aspirations with us, Senator Comrade Hillary must establish her Presidential credentials. Getting booed off the stage at a 9-11 Benefit concert - by her own constituents - was not a promising beginning. Admittedly, her Senatorial splendor on capitol hill is equally unthrilling. We’ll need to dig deeper, for a glimmer of Presidential mettle. An incident where Senator Comrade Hillary’s limo tried to run down some of our men in blue at the airport comes to mind, but that’s not exactly what we need, either. Obviously, Senator Comrade Hillary is much to busy searching for that first hint of Presidential electability to answer those nagging questions about her Presidential qualifications. A generous-to-a-fault dude, I take it upon myself to give you, my devoted readers, a preview of the President Comrade Hillary regime. Allegedly, a bright woman, our soon to be President Comrade Hillary would no doubt avoid the mistakes of a legacy-seeking former President, Mister Comrade Hillary. Given the sad performance of Mister Comrade Hillary's international non-policy, a President Comrade Hillary would take great pains to choose a Secretary of State who is relentlessly diplomatic, a naturally gifted builder of bridges between warring factions/cultures/races. She would select an individual who instinctively brings people together, thus making the choice an obvious one: Calypso Louie Farakhan. I mean, look what he's done for racial harmony...Case closed! With an awesome dude like Calypso Louie doing a Secretary of State gig, President Comrade Hillary would quickly deduce that she'd require an equally formidable Secretary of Defense. This person would, necessarily, enjoy the unflagging support of the military, support won by years of devotion/attention to the defense strategies of our country. Additionally, President Comrade Hillary would conclude that her regime should trailblaze new paths to what some people call ‘national security’. She'd decide it's time to combine a John Wayne-like ‘damn the torpedoes’ mindset with that instinctive, intuitive, ability which distinguishes women, thus making that noted defense department champion, Hanoi Jane Fonda a remarkable selection. Admittedly, Catherine MacKinnon looms as the ideal choice for Attorney General, but, let's be real...How can anyone replace my favorite Mister Hillary bizzaro appointee, Janet Reno? Nope, Janet's definitely a keeper. There must be a law-related position which requires Catherine's obsession for detail and her talent for finding conspiracies (usually where no visible evidence exists). Such a position would, necessarily, utilize Catherine's well-documented willingness to ignore the restrictive confines of the U.S. Constitution in her headlong pursuit of 'justice'. I'm confident President Comrade Hillary would come to the same conclusion I have and make everyone's favorite feminist shyster Director of the FBI. I mean, Catherine is a J. Edgar clone, right down to her silk knickers. Given her big dreams for a universe-size government, our President Comrade Hillary will want to make sure that the federal coffers are full to overflowing. Who better to make the taxpayer shell out until it hurts than the man who has performed such legendary feats while extorting money, uh...obtaining contributions from American business. That’s right, I’m thinking our President Comrade Hillary will agree that Je$$e Jackson is a must as head of the IRS. Doesn’t that give you a...thrill? Given her political ideology, our soon to be beloved President Comrade Hillary would pay special attention to her choice of Commerce Secretary. Granted, that union-worshiping gnome, Robert Reich, would be a fabulous choice, but he's for sure a lock as Secretary of Labor. Instead, the proper selection would need to be someone well know throughout the business sector, someone who has a long history as an inspirational, unifying, force in private industry. It would require someone with decades of intense involvement with business. Who better than the man who did more to restructure the American auto industry than Henry Ford...Ralph Nader? Finally, President Comrade Hillary will need someone with vast media experience to serve as her White House Press Secretary. It has to be someone with a passion for the working press and years of experience in front of a camera. I'm sure we'll all agree that Media Slut Emeritus, Gloria Allred, is made to order. Gloria is so eager to get her mug on the tube, she'll call presidential press conferences when there's nothing to report, just to feed her media slut habit. Is it just me, or is President Comrade Hillary's Oval Office reign sounding too fun for words? This pagan scribbler is forced to confess that a President Comrade Hillary would give me endless inspiration for new articles. That said, I must admit that I do have one reservation about Comrade Hillary's Presidential intentions. If I stretch my imagination to the utmost, I can cope with this President Comrade Hillary scam. However, having a walking hormone like Mister Bill as First Dude strikes me as a concept that's gone light years beyond ‘bold’. Even an imagination as elastic as mine has its limits. MARCH 2006
Source: PIGish Prattle Prose [03/29/06] "This isn't an amnesty."
An immigration bill with no penalties, no deportations, and a fast track to citizenship is an amnesty, period. Going to See His Daddy Those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them We can't afford the squalor, the crime, the diseases, the overcrowded (dysfunctional) schools, the closed emergency rooms and the Nanny State red ink imposed by the existing border jumping scumbag tidal wave. The next border jumping wave - the parasite tidal wave that is already poised to overwhelm us - is going to be much, much bigger, because our elected tormentors are telling the world that our borders are wide goddamn open. The border jumping scumbag deluge that is building strength now - the 50 to 100 million freeloaders who are headed our way - might be the one that snuffs out the shining beacon of liberty. Why should Osama bother to attack us, when we are showing an insane willingness to commit national suicide with the amnesty on steroids our elected tormentors plan to inflict on us? A Nation of Immigrants If some immigrant - even if it's a Colonista - wants to become part of America and they agree to meet the items I just cited, I'll be among the first to welcome them. It would be nice if, in return, the individual(s) in question did everything possible to become part of America. We can use some new sovereign individuals, but I want the hardy breed that came here at the turn of the 20th century, the kind of immigrant whose grim resolve to become part of America broke down all the barriers and added new energy, new elements to the American melting pot. Tragically, those are the ones whom our elected tormentors insist on turning back. We have enough home grown parasites, we don't need to import them. The Question Nobody Will Answer for Us When I finally still my turbulent thoughts...When I stop fantasizing about nuking D.C. while congress is in session, I keep getting back to the same question that the border jumping scumbag coddlers - La Raza, Juan McCain, Eduardo Kennedy, Arlin Spectorres, Paco Leahy, Vincente W. Bush, and all the rest - won't answer for me: "There are at least 500,000,000 chronically-needy dweebs living between the Rio Grande and Tierra Del Fuego. How many of these freeloaders get to move here, uninvited, before you America-hating rat bastards understand that unrestricted immigration is a [expletive deleted] problem? The latest estimates on the world's population puts the number at 6,506,254,320, approximately 6.2 billion of whom don't live in the USA, yet. How much of Asia, Africa, and Arabia gets to infest our nation before you pull your goddamn head out of your ass? How crowded does America need to get before you wake the hell up?" If you can get me answer to that, from one of our elected tormentors, pass that information along to your friends at PIG. The Clock Strikes Midnight For American Sovereignty America, (United States of), n. : A decade or two from now, when the history of a noble experiment in inalienable individual liberty called the United States of America is written, it will be recorded that this unprecedented beacon of liberty reached an untimely end after its core concepts were betrayed by its own elected officials. These future historians will invoke images of Brutus plunging his knife into Julius Caesar when they cite such reviled American traitors as Senator Juan McCain, Senator Eduardo Kennedy, Senator Arlen Spectorres and President Vincente W. Bush. On the other hand, these same future historians will cast an American Congressman named Tom Tancredo in the role Mark Anthony, vilifying the traitors' treachery. These future historians will discuss America's self-destructive immigration policy and try to make some sense out of it. Why, they'll ask, rhetorically, did America discourage the kind of exceptional legal immigrants who helped construct the American dream? Why, they'll inquire, did American officials open the immigration floodgates by encouraging nations near and far to export their poverty? Why did American officials allow nations around the world to disgorge their disease-ridden, chronically-needy parasites across the American border like a swarm of invading cockroaches? Why, ultimately, didn't American officials take meaningful steps to stem this invasion by securing its own national borders? Future historians will find America's economic policy equally puzzling. Why, they'll wonder, did America willfully import the world's poverty? Why did America willfully auction off its own prosperity via a ruinous outsourcing obsession that eviscerated its own citizens' standard of living? Why, they'll ask, did America's political leaders allow its capitalists to hobble government services - heath, education, infrastructure - by dumping the insatiable "needs" of illegal immigrants on the American taxpayer? Why, they'll wonder, did America place such a high value on workers who sent the lion's share of their earnings back to their native country? Why did America place such a high value on illegal workers whose "contributions" to the American economy and its tax coffers were overwhelmed by the amount they consumed in taxpayer funded services? Our future historians will find it incomprehensible that America allowed millions of invaders to set up colonies inside America's borders. They'll find it utterly insane that Americans tolerated these festering colonial sores in their midst where the colonizers perpetuate the language, crime and culture of the nations they were so eager to leave. Why, they'll demand, did Americans allow these invaders to impose their language, spread their culture and terrorize American citizens with their murderous street gangs? Ultimately these historians will find it incomprehensible that America would, negligently, allow these colonizers to re-introduce diseases like Tuberculosis that were virtually eradicated before the colonizers invaded. This history of the rise and fall of America will note that the critical moment in the nation's history occurred in 2006, when 20,000,000 invaders seized control of key cities and states in the American Southwest. The first city to fall into enemy hands was Los Angeles. Next, the key state of Texas was swallowed up by a tidal wave of invading parasites. America's death throes were long and painful, but the fatal blow fell on March 25, 2006 when the Mayor of Los Angeles - an American Quisling whose name has been lost in the fog of history - surrendered his city into enemy hands without a fight. Did America's clock strike midnight on March 25, 2006? Will America devolve from a shining beacon of inalienable individual liberty into a festering third world cesspool that is populated by teeming hordes of chronically-needy, disease-ridden, crime-spreading parasites? Or, will, just in the nick of time, that American icon - its reviled, but endlessly resilient, rugged individuals - shake off their lethargy and put up a fight for the nation they love? Will you take a stand for the American Dream and the Inalienable Individual Liberty which all rational American adults cherish? If you're going to act, the time is now, because the clock started to strike midnight when the invaders staged a victory celebration in the streets of Los Angeles. This and That Veto? He can't even spell it Taking it to the streets The fun started Friday, when the worst students - every damn one of whom is English-challenged - walked out of the worst school in Mexifornia, to "protest" about the way Uncle Sam picks on border jumping scumbags. Saturday promises to be big time fun in the City of Angels when all the border jumping scumbags and the rat bastards who coddle them, infest the streets. It's been a while since I visited L.A., but I feel safe in predicting that there aren't that many rational American adults who would shed a tear if Uncle Sam wiped the place out with a tactical nuclear strike. Goodbye border jumping scumbags. Goodby border jumper coddlers. Rot in hell Tinsel Town trash. I know its never going to happen, but kindly let me savor this fantasy a little longer. Stray Synaptic Activity Payback's a Bitch Pleased with his success, Steve enjoyed a few moments in the sun when his story registered on the news cycle. After the story broke in the press, Steve opened up his site to other long-suffering individuals. In a heartbeat he began getting potential postings from as far away as New Zealand, Japan and South Africa. He even did a radio interview with a station in Brisbane. Big, big, fun, but the story doesn't end there. This week, Steve is back in the news, thanks to his daughter Claire. Still not speaking to him, the 20-year-old business student got some hot tips that would help her payback dear old dad for humiliating her in front of the whole world:
A good sport, Steve is taking his daughter's payback in stride: "The boot's on the other foot now, but I suppose I deserve it." In addition to substantiating the venerable adage about "people who live in glass houses", Steve got a valuable lesson in another adage, "payback's a bitch". On a happier note, Claire is speaking to dad again. We're not surprised. Gloating is much more effective when accompanied by derisive laughter. Election Cycle Musings
One issue that could easily overwhelm all the rest is RoveCo's steadfast refusal to secure this nation's borders. A sizeable percentage of the Elephant Clan's base wants strict enforcement, right damn now. They don't want to discuss any of the Elephant Clan's fetid amnesty notions until our borders are finally secured. Watching W kiss his daddy, Vicente's, butt isn't likely to win any Red State votes this year. The way Elephant Clan senators are trying to ram amnesty down our throats isn't exactly 'endearing' either. Tragically, RoveCo refuses to clean up its act. With the congressional election cycle ramping up toward campaign mode, the last thing RoveCo wants or needs is a critical Red State chad puncher mass sitting out this election cycle. That's why the Kool-Aid Club is trotting out the Elephant Clan's "never fail" mantra: "We know that we really suck, but don't forget, they still suck more." As pathetic as that sounds, it's probably true, so what is a rational adult supposed to do? As I see it we have the following options:
If you don't like any of the choices I outlined, I agree completely. The political hacks have rigged the game and there's no easy way to fix it. The best possible result in November would be a "divided government" because that tends to jam the gears inside the beltway and make it much harder for our elected tormentors to do any further damage. That system has worked well for us, in the past, but I'm not that sure it will work if the divide gives the Donkey Clan both chambers of congress. Why? Vicente W. Bush has, to date, signed every piece of legicrap that lands on his desk. It's highly unlikely that he's going to remember the Presidential Veto at this late date. The bottom line is this: no matter how this election turns out, we're royally screwed. At times like this, being an (alleged) rational adult really sucks. Extra Added PIG Awards Attraction Award Conferred: Spineless Rat Bastards of the Week It's Wednesday night. The pizza was hot, the brewskies were chilled and the entire PIG staff was ready willing and eager to see the 'South Park' episode that makes Twerpy Tommy Cruise go postal. The time came, the 'South Park' episode started but it wasn't the episode that Comedy Central promised: "Trapped in the Closet". What, we demanded, happened to our Twerpy Tommy bashing dose of 'South Park' entertainment? It took a few days, but the story is starting make the rounds. It's all about capitalism, and the fact that entertainment conglomerates have their tentacles every-damn-where. Comedy Central is owned by Viacom, and so, we learned, is Paramount studios. It's the latter fact that needs to be amplified. The usual unnamed "informed" sources report that Twerpy Tommy had a full blown hissy fit over this particular episode. In fact, he got so worked up that he threatened he would not do any publicity for Paramount's forthcoming "Mission Impossible III", a flick that stars this couch jumping piece of thespian crap. Suitably alarmed, Paramount executives took their delusions of cinematic flop red ink to Viacom, and that fast Viacom hammered Comedy Central into yanking the episode. As expected, everyone involved - Paramount, Comedy Central and Twerpy Tommy - deny the whole story but that doesn't pass our smell test. We'd give this special award to Twerpy Tommy but that's like awarding Whoopi Goldberg for being an eyesore. Instead, we'll confer a special Spineless Rat Bastards of the Week on the punks who run Viacom. If you're a 'South Park' fan, you owe it to Matt Stone and Trey Parker to avoid Twerpy Tommy's third bite at the Mission Impossible apple like it's tainted with ebola. No justice, no peace. Award Conferred: Jealous Scumbag of the Week Twice married, an admitted "former" sex addict, Michael Douglas seems to be green with envy that Brad Pitt is getting horizontal and squishy with mega hottie Angelina Jolie. On the pretext of "supporting" Brad's discarded bride, Jennifer Aniston, 62 year old - and looking every day of it - Douglas spewed this jealously-induced drivel:
Michael Douglas might not understand why Brad dropped Jennifer for Angelina, but it's no mystery to us, or any other red-blooded dude with a pulse. You only get one shot at the hottie brass ring - Angelina - so you damn sure better grab it. It's one of those strike while the iron is hot things that Douglas understood, very damn well, during his sex addict adventures. What the hell, if this Angelina thing falls apart, Brad can say "it was great while it lasted" and move on to some other, merely mortal female. It's not nuclear physics, Michael. Normally we'd write Douglas off as a moron, but we suspect there's more to it than that. Can it be that he's tiring of his current bride, Catherine Zeta-Jones? Can it be that Michael entertained the tragically delusional notion that Angelina would give him a second glance? She may have been next on your dance card Mikey, but you weren't even among the top 10 billion on hers. That's why we think the answer to both questions is "yes". As a consolation prize in the Angelina sweepstakes, we decided to give this pinhead our extra special, richly deserved, Jealous Scumbag of the Week award. Presidential Myopia "I'm concerned about a broader message this issue could send to our friends and allies around the world, particularly in the Middle East. In order to win the war on terror, we have got to strengthen our friendships and relationships with moderate Arab countries in the Middle East." (President George W. Bush) If the president wants to do something useful about relations between "moderate" Arab countries and the American people he might start with a blunt conversation about the way Mecca Mania plays out on the world stage. He could point out to our so-called "friends" in the Middle East how crappy this ports deal timing was. He could remind them that it broke into the News Nitwit prime cycle right after rational adults were besieged by images of Mecca Maniac rampages - around the globe - over some goddamn cartoons. He could point out that putting a "wanted dead" bounty on the cartoonists who portrayed the Mecca Mania prophet didn't thrill liberty-venerating Americans spitless. He could tell the UAE, Pakistan, Jordan and our dear friends in the Sandbox (PIG speak for Saudi Arabia, and shame on you for making me remind you) that they have an image problem. He could point out that their profound silence when Islamikazes behead innocent infidel civilians doesn't play well in the USA. Do Americans distrust Arabs in general, including the UAE? You bet. Is this attitude a rational response to the relentless rampage-intensive tantrums thrown by Mecca Maniacs - all over the globe - whenever somebody so much as sneezes near a mosque? You better goddamn believe it, Sparky. The facts speak for themselves: based on recent events, our moderate Arab "friends" can't be trusted. That's not racism, or Islamaphobia. It's a necessary note of caution while we're in a war with stoned on Allah Mecca Maniacs who would kill every damn one of us in a heartbeat, given the chance. W needs to pull his head out of his butt and smell the Islamikaze coffee before it's too late. He needs to face up to the fact that we Americans don't have a problem. It's our "moderate" Arab "friends" who have a problem. Stray Synaptic Activity Pew's Putrid Pontificiating Okay, let's try this again. It's so easy to violate our border that scumbags are crossing in increasing numbers. But, invaders who are already here are afraid to leave because it's much harder to get in than it was when they did it the last time? I think it's time to check the water at Pew for mind-altering substances and for Pete's sake re-calibrate that dart board before you use it to compile another of these asinine reports. Hitting Border Jumping Scumbag Invaders Where It Hurts
Unlike other proposals that simply pins a tax on such transfers, Kaloogian's bill would require that the sender prove they are here legally before the transfer can be made. If passed, this bill would put a big dent in Mexico's budget, since the $15 to $20 billion in wire transfers each year is that pissant nation's second largest income source. If you live in Kaloogian's San Diego district, go down to the polls and punch a chad for Howard, the man with the plan that makes Vicente Fox see red...red ink. Patriot Act Fine Print When Oklahoma passed a similar bill, it outsourced meth production from America's drug punks to Mexico's drug punks. According to one report, seizures of smokeable Mexican meth in Oklahoma quintupled from 384 cases in the 15 months before the edict to 1,875 since then. Is making meth another job that W thinks Americans won't do? Or, is this another W scheme to "outsource" American jobs? PIGish Musings Painting a Bull's-Eye On "Big Soda" As usual, this sales pitch features pitiful "It's for the children" prose, but we all know the truth. They don't give a rip about "the children". All these Fat Nazi leeches want is to enrich themselves with the loot from those deep BIG SODA pockets. PIGish Musings on Outsourcing One possibility is to open a small business that caters to the needs of those CEO's, MBA's, shysters, doctors and political hacks who aren't the least bit threatened by outsourcing. Another, more attainable, possibility is trucking. Believe it or not, the trucking industry is looking for drivers to replace what one news report called its "aging workforce". Gear jamming is hard work, but it's an honest living that has supported hard working American men and women for decades. There will always be a need for someone to truck those goods that made by 50 cents a week factory workers in some third world pest hole from point A to point B within the USA. That's why, when it's time for you to send Johnny or Susie off to school, you should seriously consider Billy-Bob's truck driving academy, instead of a Marxist-infested Ivory Tower. Random Musings W In The Katrina Blame Bull's-Eye News Max sets the record straight with this report:
"Topped" is what happens when you overfill your bath tub. "Breached" is what happens when you take a sledge hammer and knock a hole in the side of that same tub when it's full of water. Are we all up to speed on the difference now, "what did W know and when did he know it" Sparky? We better be, because a pop quiz is not out of the question. Crayons ready? Afterthought FEMA's Fatal Katrina Flaw This interference continued to escalate as FEMA, belatedly, marshaled its forces. In fact, to this very day, FEMA does more harm than good, as it perpetuates this "we don't need your help", mindset. In the aftermath of Katrina, survivors endured unnecessary hardships when e Nanny State bureaucrats prevented motivated, individuals - many of them trained damn professionals with applicable skills - from rendering badly needed aid in those initial, chaotic hours. Tragically, that lesson is lost on the Nanny State pinheads in the bloated D.C. bureaucracy and the halls of congress. If they need to find the Katrina culprit, the first place to look is the nearest mirror. The Cable News Name Games Fast forward to the present and we have a such steaming, news nitwit loads as "The O'Reilly Factor", "Anderson Cooper's 360", "The Situation Room", "The Situation with Tucker Carlson", and "Hardball with Chris Matthews". We're not sure why Anderson Cooper is obsessed with 360, but we suspect that it might have something to do with this cosmic nothing walking around in circles when he's off his medication. We've taken a close look at Tucker Carlson's "Situation" and concluded that his "situation" seems to be an incurable case of wimpdom. Last, but far from least, Wolf Blither's "The Situation Room" is the most pretentious steaming load of the bunch. They can call these news nitwit adventures anything that thrills them spitless, but it all smells like crap to me. The World According to W Yeah, right dude. The reason American capitalists are exporting all those high tech jobs has little or nothing to do with education. They'd hire educated American Sparky in a heartbeat, if only we Americans would learn to live in third world squalor. Everything would be perfect if we could learn make ends meet on the 50 cents a week they're willing to pay someone with a Master's Degree in Electrical Engineering. Last one to skid row is a rotten egg, "do you want fries with that" Sparky. FEBRUARY 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [02/24/06] "I can understand why some in Congress have raised questions about whether or not our country will be less secure as a result of this transaction. But they need to know that our government has looked at this issue and looked at it carefully." (President George W. Bush defends the deal to let UAE controlled Dubai Ports World get a foothold in certain American ports.) The president's "trust me, we know what we're doing" doesn't pass the smell test. For starters, the "careful" review didn't include certain key players and doesn't track with the information about the UAE in the September 11th Commission's final report.
Making this matter that much more thrilling, the deal is much, much bigger than initially reported. It's not 6 American ports, it's 22. World Net Daily posted these thrilling ports deal facts:
The more I hear about this ports purchase, the more convinced I am that RoveCo signed off on it without giving it a picosecond's thought. RoveCo gives W's lunch menu more intense scrutiny than they did this 22 ports - and counting - takeover by the UAE. This PIG scribbler tips his hat to World Net Daily for breaking this UAE Ports Deal Story wide-damn-open. Who Is Bob Frapple and Why Didn't He Give Us Credit for The Prose He Borrowed? On February 11, 2006 an eager PIGster named Bob Frapple posted the following prose on a web site named "shortnews.com":
Some PIGsters might find this prose familiar, for a good reason. The following prose was posted on this page on February 6, 2006:
The original version from 2002 - a version that appeared in PIG News, reads as follows:
Are we mad as hell that Bob borrowed our prose and didn't give us credit? Nope, but we'd appreciate it if Bob would at least mention PIG, in passing, when he borrows our prose and our terminology - Mecca Maniac. Give us a break, Bob. The least you can do is spread our name around when you quote us. Do that and we'll thank you for doing your part to publicize our speed bump on the information superhighway. Blood In The Water? The News Nitwits are, inexplicably, smelling blood in Cheney's "oops, I bagged a shyster" water. Seeking to reclaim those bygone, "glory" days when other "alleged" journalists helped bring down a president, the D.C. news monkey horde is assailing the Bush administration for its obsessive secrecy and its failure to confess all, to the entire News Nitwit horde, before the incident happened. The relevant, pre-emptive, White House press release might read something like this:
Is this accidental shooting a dastardly Oval Office cover-up? Is this ham-fisted White House response spin doctored news manipulation? Give me a break. It's a garden variety hunting accident that just happens to involve our Vice President. If the Bush minions are guilty of anything, it's plain vanilla White House ineptitude. The Vast Right-Wingnut Conspiracy's Kool-Aid Klub is busy circling the wagons to protect their Elephant Clan homeboys. The first news cycle counterpunch dredged up Teddy Kennedy's long distance swimming adventure to "put this matter in its proper perspective". You don't need Nostradamus to predict that the carefully-scripted Rove-O-Rooter mantra cites "liberal media bias". This spirited defense is playing well, to the VRWC choir, but it's unlikely to do much good on this nation's conspiracy-bonkers left flank. This story isn't very complicated and unworthy of all this fuss. Dick Cheney bagged a shyster via a routine hunting accident. The recipient of Dick's marksmanship is expected to survive. If the V.P. violated any laws, the relevant Mexas authorities can handle it without all this News Nitwit blithering. In D.C. the White House did what it does so well: it completely bungled its response to this hunting accident, turning a minor news cycle blip into a "White House cover-up scandal". If the Bush administration is guilty of anything, it's a chronic failure to communicate, efficiently, with the News Nitwit horde. If the clamoring lefty horde succeeds in transforming this hunting accident into a scandal and/or a major distraction, the outcome will please, then depress, them. Pleasing: Cheney resigns citing his well documented health problems. Depressing: Condi Rice becomes this nation's first female vice president. "Be careful what you ask for" is now, officially, in play. Stray Synaptic Activity Cartoon Jihad I The Arab Street is your brat rugrat throwing a tantrum, again, because you never had the nads to make him, her, himher or it knock it the hell off, all those other times it happened. All our "cultural sensitivity and understanding" of what passes for A-rab culture gets us is a bigger, more violent tantrum, the next time something isn't properly Islamic. Make no mistake, PIGsters, there will be a next time, because we're teaching them that their mindless, irrational violence works. The Arab Street probably isn't as quick to get that message as your turbo brat 5 year old, but make no mistake, they'll figure it out, eventually. Like your brat kid, the Arab Street thug can smell weakness a intergalactic distances. The more you give, the more they'll take. The more "sensitive" you become, the pettier their demands will come. The Bush girls' style of dress is an insult to Islam. If you don't make the first daughters wear burkas, we'll go on another rampage. All western women must stop working because it's an affront to Islam. If you don't fire them and force them to stay home, we'll go on another "kill all infidels" rampage. You must change your culture to please us, because failing to do so is an insult to Islam and we're primed for another rampage. The Arab Street thugs will keep lowering the bar for their holy rampages, until we wake up one ignoble day and find ourselves enslaved by 1,400 year old Islamic law. They'll win this "culture clash" unless we're willing to mount a vigorous, non-negotiable defense of our inalienable individual liberty. The appeasers and their rampaging Arab Street pals can bite me, because I won't give up my inalienable individual liberty birthright without one hell of a fight. If you're planning to silence this pagan scribbler, bring your lunch Mahmoud. Cartoon Jihad II "People should realize there's a difference between freedom of speech, and insulting and inviting hate. There is no absolute meaning of freedom of expression. Your freedom ends where my rights start." (Gamal Solaiman, Imam of the Ottawa, Canada Mosque.) First written a year ago, this rant paints a bull's-eye on Imam Solaiman's blithering.] There is no inalienable "right" that protects you from being offended. You don't have the right to criminalize all speech, all images, all activities that you deem inappropriate for your rugrat. You don't have the right to silence others because you don't want to hear what they say. You don't have the right to stop others from creating and displaying certain images because you don't want to see them. You don't have the right to stop others from engaging in private, consensual, sexual activities because you disapprove of them. You don't have the right to invoke the government's monopoly on the use of force to coerce other individuals to surrender their inalienable right to their own life, their own liberty or the pursuit of their own happiness then force them to adhere to your narrow, puritanical, view of propriety. You do have the right to associate with any individual you choose. You do have the right to submit your views, your beliefs, to the marketplace of ideas. You do have the right to express your opinion about another individual's speech, ideas, actions, and/or the images he, she or it creates. You do have the right to your own life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, as long as you don't forcibly violate another individual's inalienable, inherent, right to his, her, or it's own life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. Cartoon Jihad III I'm Up To "Here" With This Religion of Peace Crap! The "religion of peace" is showing its true colors, again, and it's not a pretty sight. Inflamed by the Mohammed-themed cartoons that first appeared in a Danish fishwrap - Jyllands-Posten - last September, Mecca Maniacs around the world are doing what comes naturally. Those perpetually fun pinheads - the infamous "Arab Street" - are rampaging in Gaza, Syria and numerous other Middle Eastern outposts of "peace". In Gaza, the mob gave all Nordic people 48 hours to leave, or else. In Syria, another "peace" venerating mob looted and burned the Danish embassy. Elsewhere, the notoriously tolerant Mecca Maniac mob vows to maim and/or murder the Danish cartoonists, along with the European journalists who printed the egregiously maligned toons. Closer to home, CAIR [the Council on American-Islamic Relations] is demanding a top rated L.A. talk show host's head on a platter. The host, Bill Handel, strayed into CAIR's bull's-eye during this year's version of the annual Hajj stampede. Inspired by this ritual, Handel perpetrated a comedy skit based on his spur of the moment suggestion that the Sandbox (Saudi Arabia) needs to deploy a helicopter to monitor pilgrimage traffic. "This is Mahmoud Nolan. Hajj in the Sky. There is an accident...Ali lost his sandal on the on ramp to the Martin Luther King Jr. Freeway." The picture of tolerance, CAIR demands an apology, but, since none is forthcoming, they're mounting a campaign to scare off the top rated show's advertisers. Other, equally thrilled, Mecca Maniacs demand that L.A.'s 8,000 pound talk show gorilla, KFI, fire Bill Handel. That's par for the course when it comes to tolerance, as practiced by the "religion of peace". These are far from isolated incidents. A Danish film-maker was butchered by an outraged "religion of peace" adherent because Mr. Van Gogh's film allegedly "maligned" Islam. An Islamic writer, Salman Rushdie, has a death sentence hanging over his head after he wrote a book that gets too real about the "religion of peace" and its prophet. In Nigeria, a local fishwrap had its offices looted and burned, because "religion of peace" adherents were outraged by the fishwraps' coverage of the Miss Universe booty festival in that terminally tolerant nation. All these instances - and countless others - demonstrate the incontrovertible fact that "the religion of peace" and inalienable individual liberty are fundamentally - explosively - incompatible. Prove it, you say. Okay, let's look at the way the "religion of peace" abuses its women. Mecca Maniac - alleged - men, routinely, butcher female members of their family who "bring dishonor" to the family. It matters little if the alleged dishonor is real or imaginary, because murdering your sister, daughter, aunt or wife is okey dokey, in the "religion of peace". In those garden spots ruled by Islamic law, a female rape victim can be executed, because she "allowed" her virtue to be sullied. In the Sandbox, the Saudi religious police stopped some schoolgirls from escaping a burning building because the schoolgirls' faces were uncovered. Better to let them burn to death than sully the "religion of peace" with their uncovered faces. Reality - as seen in daily news items from behind the burka curtain - demonstrates that inalienable individual liberty and Mecca Mania are fundamentally incompatible. They are, in essence, individual liberty’s version of matter and antimatter. Like these elementary particles, liberty and anti-liberty (political Islam) destroy each other in a violent explosion whenever they come into direct contact. That's what happens when a fourth century mindset does a header into the allegedly enlightened twenty-first century. CAIR, all the Mecca Maniac Meatheads, need a reality check if they expect anyone to take them seriously. Mecca Maniac theology...Mecca Maniac scripture aren’t the issue. The only viable standard by which to measure a supernaturalist sect is how Mecca Maniacs implement the aforementioned theology and scripture, today, in the 21st century. The Mecca Maniac tome may or may not promote tolerance and/or peace, but that’s beside the point. The practical application of Mecca Mania, around the world, reeks of mindless, irrational intolerance. Mecca Mania, as implemented in the political realm, is tyrannical and a threat to every sovereign individual who comes under its control. Until CAIR, the Mullahs, the Arab Street and others of their ilk do something about that sad fact, they need to stick their "religion of peace and tolerance" bovine excrement where the sun don't shine. We've seen their idea of "peace and tolerance" in lovely garden spots like Iran, Taliban-ruled Afghanistan, and the Sandbox, and we are so profoundly unamused it can't be quantified. Examining Islam: Actions Speak Louder than Words [Originally written several years ago, this rant has been updated, here and there, but it's just as accurate, today, as it was when I wrote it. That probably shouldn't shock me, since, Mecca Mania hasn't changed one damn bit, since it arrived on the scene more than 1,400 years ago. There are times - this being one of them - when being a rational adult majorly sucks.] Unless you just returned from the twilight zone, finally finished touring the universe with those little gray men, or woke up from a prolonged Rip Van Winkle snooze in a remote cave, you’re aware that Mecca Maniacs defend their supernaturalism, and its prophet, with noisy, table-pounding fervor. When challenged on anything relating to Mecca Mania, their initial response is the familiar spew about Mecca Mania’s devotion to tolerance.
The United States promotes inalienable individual liberty for all individuals, making it the strongest force preventing political Islam from establishing its globe spanning supernaturalist gulag. Reality - as seen in daily news items from behind the burka curtain - demonstrates that inalienable individual liberty and Mecca Mania are fundamentally incompatible,..in essence individual liberty’s version of matter and antimatter. Like these elementary particles, liberty and anti-liberty (political Islam) destroy each other in a violent explosion whenever they come into direct contact. No doubt, Mecca Maniac apologists - publicity flacks is more accurate - like CAIR [Council on American-Islamic Relations] will take umbrage at this pagan’s adventure in free speech, but they lost any shred of credibility with their tepid response to the 9-11 attack. Being that kind of pagan, I’ll go the extra mile and examine Mecca Mania-style tolerance:
Are you listening CAIR? What’s that? Rampant violence, intolerance and destruction by cross cultists? The crusades? Let’s discuss that.
CAIR, all the Mecca Maniac Meatheads, need a reality check if they expect anyone to take them seriously. Mecca Maniac theology...Mecca Maniac scripture aren’t the issue. The only viable standard by which to measure a supernaturalist sect is how Mecca Maniacs enact the aforementioned theology and scripture, today, in the 21st century. The Mecca Maniac tome may or may not promote tolerance, but that’s beside the point. The day in, day out practical application of Mecca Mania - around the world - reeks of mindless, irrational intolerance. Mecca Mania, as implemented in the political realm is tyrannical and a threat to every sovereign individual who comes under its control. Until CAIR, and others of their ilk do something about that sad fact, they can shut the hell up about Mecca Mania being a "religion of peace" and/or tolerance. JANUARY 2006
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [01/27/06] The News Nitwits are in a lather because the Palestinians threw out their old terrorist government - Fatah, A.K.A. the P.L.O. - and replaced it with a new terrorist government run by Hamas. Is this cause for concern? Probably, but history has demonstrated Israel's ability to protect itself from these terrorist asshats. The best news to come out of the elections is the fact that the Fatah terrorists and the Hamas terrorists hate each other, almost as much as they hate Israel. In fact, the first thing the rival groups started doing after the election involved fighting with each other. Am I supposed to shed a tear or two because two groups of terrorists are trying to kill each other? I way don't think so, homicide bomber Sparky. Does this really change things in Palestine? Yup, here and there, starting with the fact that Hamas, for all its murderous antics, can't be as corrupt as Yasser's merry band of thugs. Another meaningful change stemming from this election is the thrilling fact that the new Palestinian government is run by dipsticks who blatantly admit that erasing Israel from the map is their goal in life. At least they're honest about it, instead of lying through their teeth, like Fatah. Another likely change involves who will be funding the relentlessly debt-ridden Palestinian government. European nations and Uncle Sam are already making noises about shutting off the money supply, but don't worry, help is just over the Mideast horizon. It seems safe to assume that Iran will pump some of their petro dollars into Palestine, along with sufficient military hardware to shore up the Palestinian military. Call me names if that thrills you, but this pagan scribbler looks forward to seeing if Hamas is as efficient at running a government as it is at murdering innocent Israeli civilians. It's a slam dunk that what looked easy when they were on the outside looking in is a lot tougher when you're dealing with all those whining Palestinian - uh - citizens whose purpose in life is getting on the government payroll. If you're a hopeless "glass half full" optimist, you're probably thinking that, if all goes well, Hamas will be too busy trying to govern Palestine to blow up innocent Israeli civilians. It's probably a pipe dream, but one that's worth nurturing for a while longer. In closing I'd like to welcome Hamas to objective reality. Congratulations, you murdering rat bastards, you just did a header into one of life's bitterest fun facts: Be careful what you wish for, because you might get it. Who Are Those Guys? By now, you've heard the News Nitwits spewing the official government spin about Monday's confrontation on the Mexican border. According to Texas police officials, the drug smugglers who crossed the border into the USA were escorted by Mexican soldiers who drove Humvees that were equipped with .50 caliber machine guns. When the news of this armed military incursion broke, every government punk on both sides of the border started spinning the potentially explosive story. As usual, Mexican officials denied everything:
North of the border, the same spin is going out, thanks to an unusually cooperative news media. The story evolved from "armed Mexican soldiers", to "armed men wearing Mexican military-like uniforms". As usual, thanks to all this spin doctored news, everyone is missing the essential point. The facts that everyone owns up to are bad enough: Men armed with .50-caliber machine guns invaded our country from Mexico. I don't give a rat's butt who these clowns are. Military or not, it's intolerable. It's an outrage that our so-called government is so derelict in its duty that it lets these armed scumbags invade our country and they're not doing one damn thing to put a stop to it. And what, you ask are the cringing cowards on Capitol Hill doing about this? You're going to be thrilled. Those political pissants are already gearing up for another Congressional Hearing spectacle. It's too damn late for government hearings. We don't want to hear all those long-winded speeches. We don't want to find a somebody to fall on their sword. We want some Abrams tanks deployed along our border with Mexico, NOW! Then, the instant these "armed men wearing Mexican military-like uniforms" step across the border into the USA, we'll give them a long overdue demonstration of American firepower. If the border jumping scumbags want to play rough, the least we can do is teach them why that's a deadly - for them - notion. Google Says "Bite Me, Uncle Sam" From the moment the U.S. Supreme Court blocked implementation of the federal Child Online Protection Act, two years ago, the feds have been scrambling to find some way to reanimate this blatant attempt to seize control of the Internet. Uncle Sam's newest tactic involves asking the major search engines - Yahoo, MSN, Google - to turn over mountains of data that shows what Internet users are seeking on the information superhighway. Unwilling to pick a fight with Uncle Sam, Yahoo and MSN complied. Google, on the other hand, flatly refused. For those who obsess on such things, here are the Cliff Notes on Uncle Sam's snooping:
The government swears that it will respect Internet users' privacy, but, given the Nanny State's track record, that won't pass the smell test. Once they get that first batch of data - stripped of everything that could identify the searcher's identity - the Nanny State snoops will come back with more requests for warts and all data. Why? The Nanny State is terrified by the unrestricted free speech that takes place in cyberspace. The government is already trying to muzzle certain online bloggers with McCain's Campaign Finance Reform assault on free speech, but that's just the beginning. Using this Child Online Protection bovine excrement as a wedge, Uncle Sam will take meaningful steps to micro-manage what can - and can't - be posted on the Internet. The bottom line on the Nanny State is this: Orwell's '1984' has it nailed; the only thing he got wrong was the date. Easter Egg Angst A differently-heterosexual cabal plans to make this year's White House Easter egg role memorable. The Family Pride Coalition, together with other, unnamed cabals, plan to enlist differently-heterosexual couples to take their tykes to this annual event to demonstrate that families come in a variety of configurations. That sounds harmless enough, but it remains to be seen how the TVF (Traditional Family Values) stalwarts will react to this "can't we all just get along" caper. So far, the advanced publicity on the Family Pride Coalition's "guess who's coming to the egg roll" plan has garnered a "a flood of hate-filled, venomous messages telling us that our families aren't welcome". On a more pleasant note, First Lady Laura Bush issued a more conciliatory response through her press secretary: "All families are welcome to attend." This pagan scribbler sees no harm if differently-heterosexual parents take their tykes to the White House's annual Easter egg roll. Like it or not, it's their White House, too. On the other hand, I'll be far from thrilled spitless if differently-heterosexual activists exploit their children to stage a political stunt on the White House lawn. Sunday Afternoon Musings Iran's Nuclear Ambition Vincente Fox Bipartisanship This excerpt from the Stealth Dictionary says it all: Bipartisanship, n: New Orleans Vermont Judge Needs A Butt-Kicking Given Judge Edward Cashman's asinine antics, I understand why lady justice wears a blindfold. I don't blame her for not wanting to watch what is done in her name. The question uppermost in my mind is why - given the stench rising from the rotting corpse of our so called justice system - she isn't holding her nose, instead of the now obsolete scales of justice? Judge Cashman's sentencing of a child molesting asshat named Mark Hulett to 60 days in the graybar for molesting a toddler over a 4 year period takes fetid justice to a whole new level. Spewing drivel about wanting to make sure that this child molesting piece of crap gets "sex offender treatment", Judge Cashman helped Vermont's besieged rational adults reach critical mass. They want Judge Cashman's head on a silver platter, right next to Mark Hulett's nads. That sounds like justice to us. If Vermont's rational adults can't get Cashman kicked off the bench, Cashman should be sent to prison where some badass named Bubba will get up close and personal and show this robe wearing clown how Mark Hulett's young victim felt. Unmoved by the hell this child molesting rat bastard put his young victim through and ignoring the victim's gut-wrenching cry for justice, Judge Cashman continues to defend his decision. Mark Hulett's victim deserves better than this. Judge Cashman has gotta go, right damn now, before he perpetrates another judicial outrage. Random Synaptic Activity I'd Rather Have a Root Canal Without Novocaine Judge Alito seems to be a very intelligent man, so why would he - or anybody else - subject himself to that ordeal? Why would he, anyone, allow himself to be interrogated by those congenital morons? It's obscene! The only useful purpose these hearings serve is to warn every rational adult in Amerika that no government job is worth the bother. In addition to the wear and tear on your sanity, there's the terrifying possibility that Teddy might reach critical mass and, literally, explode. Several times during today's histrionics all of Teddy's chins started gyrating so violently, I was convinced that his staff was intoning the "thar he blows" countdown. The End Is Near - Iranian Style I know what you're thinking, and I don't blame you for refusing to take our word for it. That's why we're bringing you these choice words from Iran's Presidential Wingnut: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad:
If you have Pat Robertson on speed dial, you might want to bring him up to speed on this new twist on "the end is near". We'd do it ourselves, but he's not taking our calls. I wonder if it's something we said? Rational Adults Get Real Wendy McElroy On Anti-Discrimination Laws "At issue is whether an owner has the right to control the customer policies of his or her private business. If so, then the state cannot properly dictate whom that owner must serve or allow onto the premises. A decision to discriminate among customers would be an expression of the owner's freedom of association and of the same property rights that protect his or her home from unwelcome 'guests.' California law denies the existence of such private rights for businesses. It asserts, instead, that the public has a civil right to access an owner's property and services even over his or her objection." "In terms of [women only, Mexifornia gym,] Body Central, I don't believe any man or woman has a legal 'right' to exercise on someone else's private property. I do not believe anyone has a moral obligation to provide another person with exercise. Freedom of association means that individuals, including property owners, have a right to say 'yes' or 'no' at their own front door." Barbara Simpson On Immigration "The issue is immigration – the issue is illegal aliens in this country. "...The reality that the financial burden on legal, taxpaying citizens has grown to the point of collapse, is ignored by those who claim our borders don't count if someone chooses to be here. Emergency rooms are closing, hospitals are bankrupt, social services overburdened, schools crowded and filled with students who are neither literate nor English speaking. Our jails and prisons bulge with illegals convicted of the whole gamut of crimes, but not, I might note, their border crossing." "Why doesn't the system care? Why don't our elected government representatives care? Why doesn't our president care? We hear the rhetoric about a guest-workers program, but that's just a politically correct way of saying "amnesty." President Bush wants to reward lawbreakers with the most precious gift there is: citizenship in the United States of America." Getting Real The 24 Hour Cable News cycle yammers away incessantly, using eye catching images to distract us from their content-challenged hot air. Newspapers use their front pages to spin unwary readers with biased 'hard news' items that are pitifully disguised editorials. Political hacks spew spin doctored alleged facts to sucker prospective voters into punching a chad for them. The upshot is an Amerika where objective reality is on life support. The emperor has no clothes, but nobody wants to talk about it. Well, almost nobody. PIG's claim to fame is daring to go where others fear to tread. It's time to get real. Whenever there's an "uprising" in the world, there's a 90% probability that the malcontents are Islamists. It does no good to pretend that Islam itself has nothing to do with this bitter reality. It does no good to blame these murderous outbursts on a few "extremists". It does no good to pretend that we can sit an Islamist in a corner and make him, her, himher or it, write "I don't get along well with others" 10,000 times. Islam, by its very nature, is fundamentally incompatible with inalienable individual liberty. It's time to get real about Islam. Every damn day, we're being invaded by chronically-needy, disease-ridden border jumping parasites who have no intention becoming an "Amerikan", hyphenated, or otherwise. Vicente W. Bush and the punks who employ these border jumpers claim we need them "to do jobs that Amerikans won't do". We're told that they just want to become part of the Amerikan dream. Nobody wants to talk about the fact that these invaders are here to colonize, not assimilate. Nobody wants to admit that these parasites consume more taxpayer funded freebies than they produce in goods and services. It's time to get real about illegal immigration. Alarmists from sea to shining sea hyperventilate about the way certain lobbyists and assorted other dastardly deep-pocketed pinheads try to manipulate the system by renting/leasing a few political hacks. We're warned that the only way to stop this vile influence peddling is to get big money out of politics. Nobody - inside or outside the government - has the nads to point out that there wouldn't be any influence for sale to the highest bidder if these Nanny State punks would stick to their non-negotiable, Constitutionally-defined duties. There wouldn't be any influence on the auction block, if these political hacks stopped poking their Nanny State noses where the founding fathers said they damn sure don't belong. It's time to get real about legicrats who exceed their Constitutional authority. The Elephant Clan's congressional majority has set new records for Pork Barrel spending. This party of smaller government passed the largest entitlement in Amerikan history. In addition to expanding government at a mind boggling pace, they pointedly ignore the one legitimate federal duty that every rational adult wants them to do: protect our borders. When challenged, they trot out that never fails mantra: If you don't vote for us, you'll put "them" in power. Call me names if you must but Socialism "Lite" is not what Amerika needs. It's time to get real about the fact that "We really suck, but they suck a lot more" isn't an inspiring reason to punch a chad for the Elephant Clan. If you don't want to tackle such heavy duty problems, you can start with smaller, equally annoying problems. It's about time somebody got real and told Paris Hilton: "Put on some goddamn underwear, Skank Breath, and don't show your face - or anything else - in public until you do something noteworthy." It's about time somebody told The Donald that his comb-over looks asinine. It's shocking that a dude with that much money can't afford a damn mirror. It's time to tell your plus size, trailer trash neighbor that she's too damn old, and too damn fat to be wearing those low rider jeans and belly-baring shirts. It's time to tell your Korrectnik, neighbor, relative, or co-worker that their hypersensitivity is not your responsibility so they should stop trying to make you censor your colorful prose. It's time to get real with that telemarketing punk who won't take "no" for an answer. It's up to you to tell him: "Bite me, telemarketing scumbag". There are countless ways to get real. All you need to do us put down that brewskie, crowbar yourself out of that Lazyboy chair and let fly with some reality checks. Get real Amerika, before it's too damn late. Nibbling Our Liberty To Death Your inalienable individual liberty is a birthright, not a gift from a benevolent government. When it comes to your rights, the State has two options. If the State takes the high, lightly traveled, road it will respect and defend your liberty by establishing a political environment that maximizes each individual's rights. If the State takes the low, well traveled, road it will heed the Siren song of the clamoring, tyrannical mob by infringing, violating, minimizing and repealing your rights. This low road rights infringement rarely happens in one, tyrannical revocation. Normally, your rights are eroded away over a long period of time, trimming a little off this right, pretending that one never existed, and redefining another, until you wake up one day as a slave of the all-powerful State. We're not watching our rights being swallowed a chunk at a time. We're allowing the State to decimate our liberty through a thousand little bureaucratic bites. It's a lot like losing your hair. You don't notice those strands slipping away a few at a time, until one day you wake up a cue ball. Nibble, nibble, nibble. This nibbling is evident from sea to shining sea, if you know where to look. If you're a business owner, the Nanny State makes you pay for the 'privilege' of letting some job for life bureaucrat micro-manage your company. You're told how much you need to pay via minimum wage laws. If you look cross-eyed at the properly-hyphenated you're destined for EEOC hell for job discrimination. If you have the insane idea that you have the inherent right - for good or ill - to determine what benefits you'll provide, decide who will be hired or fired, and determine who will be allowed to avail themselves of your goods and services, you're headed for a rude Nanny State awakening. Nibble, nibble, nibble. If you're a media purveyor who thinks he, she, heshe, or it should be allowed to present entertainment that will please an adult audience, you're destined to do a header into the FCC's decency dimwits. If you're an adult who wants entertainment meant for adults, not some dipstick's unsupervised 3 year old, you're doomed to bitter disappointment thanks to the bureaucrats who dance to the tune played by Brent Bozell and Donald Wildmon. Puritanical pinhead paranoia trumps your inalienable liberty. Nibble, nibble, nibble. If you're a politically aware individual who thinks you should be allowed to put as much of your own money as you want behind the candidate of your choice, get over it. If you want to take out ads to expose the shortcomings of your elected tormentor during the waning days of the campaign, get over it. The Incumbents are protected by The Guaranteed Re-Election Act - A.K.A. campaign finance reform. That's right, politically active Sparky, your elected tormentors have criminalized your no longer "free" political speech. Nibble, nibble, nibble. Like the Nanny State pinheads, rational adults have two viable options. We can allow these political punks to keep nibbling away at our inalienable individual liberty. Or, we can stand up, swat them aside and tell them to knock it the hell off, right goddamn now. You can do what you want, but this sovereign individual is more than ready to bitch-slap some liberty-nibbling pinheads. Enough already! DECEMBER 2005
Source: Pagan Scribbler Shallow Thoughts [12/29] After banning smoking in as many places as they dared, two Great Northwestern Nitwits - Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles, D-Seattle. Rep. Geoff Simpson, D-Covington - still felt the need to wage their crusade against the evil weed. This dynamic, state Legicrat duo just served up two proposed bills in the Washington state legislature that would, if adopted, saddle the state's besieged smokers with a load of Nanny State suckage called a "fire-safe" cigarette. "Fire-safe" means that, assuming you can find a place where smoking is still legal in this rain-soaked liberal infested Eden, you'll play bloody hell keeping the damn thing lit. As long as you keep puffing on it, you're good to go, but the instant you stop...flame out. These "fire-safe" smokes are appealing to liberal hacks for a variety of reasons. In theory, this goodie will save the 700 to 800 careless smokers who are accidentally killed, nationwide, due to reckless cigarette operation. In practice, this is just another way to make smoking such a monumental pain in the boom-boom that it will make you quit out of disgust. Ideally - for two-fisted spending Legicrats - clueless smokers will continue enriching the state coffers by purchasing their heavily taxed smokes, but, they would find it impossible to actually smoke them, once they've got the damn things. Bold New Concept. Random Thoughts As We Approach The New Year Election Cycle Angst On a related note, are we still allowed to call it Pork Barrel spending or has CAIR deemed that term "offensive" to Amerika's hypersensitive Mecca Maniac pinheads? Required New Year Reading Troubling Trends Circling Those VRWC Wagons The VRWC's boom box based shock troops mobilized quickly when faced with a double threat to their Oval Office dwelling homeboy. With Congress giving W fits over renewing the Patriot Act, the last thing the VRWC wanted or needed was the News Nazis babbling incessantly about W ordering the NSA to engage in marginally-legal domestic spying. Trying to stem the tide, many VRWC babblers were concentrating on a vigorous defense of the soon to expire Patriot Act. The favored spin goes something like this:
The one question nobody asks - host or caller - is this: "Will you still be thrilled spitless about all the dubiously constitutional powers you gave the Nanny State when the president's name is Hillary Rodham Clinton?" The most likely response will presume facts not in evidence: a vigorous defense of our liberty by Elephant Clan congresspunks. Yeah right, like they defend us against free speech assaults disguised as "broadcast decency" and "campaign finance reform". On a related note - there seems to be a new addition to the official VRWC mantra list. The Existing One: The New One: One of these days I need to schedule some quality time to celebrate the glorious, liberty-killing success of Amerika's venerable two party political system. Howard Stern Moves On This week marks the end of Howard Stern's public airwaves radio show. His departure is due, in large part, to the unrelenting assaults by Amerkia's self appointed censors - Brent Bozell being a prime example - and relentless interference from the Decency Nazis in the FCC. During the last few years, they muzzled Howard until it was impossible for him to put on a show that would appeal to any rational adult. If there's anything indecent going on here, it's the fact that these cretins got away with this blatant censorship in the United States of America. I don't expect the decency crowd to get it, so it's safe to assume that, at these outposts of strictly controlled speech, the champagne will be flowing freely now that Decency Demon Howard Stern has been expunged from the public airwaves. Starting early next month, Howard will be heard, exclusively, on pay for play Sirius Satellite Radio, where many wishful thinkers on "free" radio expect him to fail miserably. The primary notion is the one that I heard from a local boom box host last night: "Why would a listener pay for Howard when he can get [VRWC] talk radio for free?" If that sounds familiar, give yourself a cookie, because it's the same argument that over the airwaves boob tube broadcasters used when cable television was in its infancy. Yeah, right dude, satellite radio would love to endure the kind of failure that cable television has experienced. Satellite Radio is the wave of the future, for the same reasons that Howard decided to switch from "free" to pay for play radio. For starters, on Sirius, Howard can put on a show that's geared toward adults, not someone's unsupervised three year old. Furthermore, Satellite Radio offers a much broader spectrum of programming, so there's always something on that will appeal especially to you. Finally, and very important to this scribbler, Satellite Radio will offer me some decent music for a change. So-called "free" radio is, musically-speaking, crap and it has been that way for much too long. [For more on the cosmic suckage of "free" radio, read the "Talk Radio" rant in PIG's media section.] Love him or hate him, Howard Stern changed the face of morning drive radio. The bland patter of record spinning D.J.'s was replaced by shock jocks and the ubiquitous "morning zoo" shows. These new formats gave commuters something new, something a tad outrageous. Howard and those who followed him gave listeners new, improved, and occasionally damn funny, fare to entertain them while they were stuck behind the motherless moron who wouldn't speed the hell up. Howard's show was, quite often, inspired and laugh out loud funny. We should give him his due for being a talented broadcaster who knows how to build, and keep, an audience. It would be a fatal mistake to underestimate Howard's skills as a self-promoter. He's been written off several times in his career and, inevitably, found a way to survive. Don't count him out just yet. Satellite Radio is, I'm convinced, the wave of the future. Obviously, Howard Stern recognizes this and wants to be where the action is. Despite his hype, Howard probably isn't the critical element in satellite radio's ultimate success. That success is due to the fact that it offers the listener a much broader spectrum of choices. Best of all, it's free, for the moment, from FCC tyranny. It's free from the licensing games the FCC plays that contribute to the unrelenting suckage that much of over the airwaves radio has become. It offers this scribbler a welcome change from 3 sports stations, two all news stations, and all those "me too", Rush Limbaugh clones like Hannity. After I hear Rush, I damn sure don't want, or need, Hannity's "Rush Warmed Over" boom box blight. Satellite Radio will allow me to listen to some decent music for a change. It will give me a break from the deluge of salsa flavored outlets that are swallowing up stations like a swarm of locusts in a wheat field. Satellite Radio offers something for literally everyone, and that, ultimately, will be its downfall. Satellite Radio offers the listener entertainment that is intended for adults, and that's the last thing Brent Bozell and his co-conspirators in the FCC's Decency Gestapo want. By hook or by crook, these decency obsessed goose steppers will find some excuse to come after Howard and everyone else on Satellite Radio. Why? Because they won't stop, they won't rest, until they can dictate everything you're allowed to read, watch, hear, say or think. That might thrill you spitless but it's not this scribbler's idea of inalienable individual liberty. I, for one, plan to enjoy the broadcasting liberty on Satellite Radio while I can, and if Brent Bozell has a problem with that he can BITE ME. Rights And The U.S. Constitution It makes me borderline postal when someone like Medved - and too damn many others of that ilk - spout drivel about our inalienable individual rights. The spew, invariably, leaves the distinct impression that any right not specifically mentioned in our Constitution isn't really our right at all. The primary problem that I have with this view of our liberty - especially where it concerns the Bill of Rights - is that it, tacitly, assumes some points that were not entered into evidence. Medved and his Tyranny of the Majority cohorts willfully overlook the following items: 1) The United States Constitution delineates, with considerable specificity, the limits under which our government operates. It does not include an exhaustive list of inalienable individual rights. A properly Constitutional government's primary function is to establish an environment wherein inalienable individual liberty is maximized...an environment where it can flourish. In other words, the Nanny State's sole function is to protect me from coercion - foreign or domestic - then get the hell out of my way and let me live my life without their relentless "assistance". Are we all on the same page now, inalienable individual liberty Sparky? After Vicente Bush's Amnesty Passes After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes the 20,000,000 border jumping scumbags who infest our nation will, instantly, be rewarded for blatantly violating our laws. After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes, those 20,000,000 border jumping invaders will, instantly, become eligible for all the parasite-coddling perks and protections given to Amerika's legal residents. After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes, those 20,000,000 street legal, border jumping denizens will, instantly, become too expensive for the employers who paid them under the table, bargain basement, wages. After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes, those 20,000,000 street legal, border jumping denizens will, inevitably, be fired and replaced by the new tidal wave of border jumping scumbags. After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes, the rat bastards who stab Amerikan citizens in the back by hiring border jumping scumbags will, instantly, start agitating for a new amnesty program to attract more cheap labor to invade our nation. After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes, taxpaying Amerikan citizens will be forced to support the 40,000,000 border jumping scumbags in our midst - the 20,000,000 legalized by Vicente Bush's Amnesty, plus the 20,000,000 who will invade us to take their place. After Vicente Bush's Amnesty passes, Amerika - henceforth Amexica - will be a reeking, disease-ridden, Tijuana cess pool, from sea to shining sea. Bait and Switch On Capitol Hill Amnesty is a done deal, if Vicente W. Bush gets his way. For obvious reasons, Vicente Bush is unwilling to let Tom Tancredo and his House of Representatives border enforcement stalwarts vilify Bush's amnesty scheme. That's why the Elephant Clan leadership plans to finesse the system and deny the House of Representatives the opportunity to bitch slap amnesty for border jumping scumbags in a public debate. How? It's very slick and a slam dunk to work like a champ. The scheme, as I understand it, involves letting the House pass its strict enforcement bill. Next, the border jumping scumbag coddling Senate will do the heavy lifting by serving up a full fledged amnesty - every scumbag on the planet can cross our borders, unimpeded - bill. Since the two bills don't match, the differences will be hashed out in a conference committee. The combined - amnesty on steroids - bill will then be submitted to the House for a straight up or down vote. Tancredo and his border enforcement lobby, plus those members of congress who agree with him, would then face a very tough choice. The only way they could defeat amnesty means voting against the border enforcement they favor. That's not going to make them any friends back in the district. If you think the border jumping scumbag invasion is bad now, hang onto your hat. After Vicente W. Bush's amnesty scheme passes, it'll be a goddamn tidal wave. Welcome to Amexica, and make no mistake, that's exactly what Vicente W. Bush wants. Bush has the right stuff when it comes to fighting terrorist asshats, but he's a traitorous rat bastard when it comes to throwing the borders wide damn open and letting the disease ridden, chronically-needy border jumping scumbag horde destroy this nation. Somebody explain to me, again, how these big spending, border jumping scumbag loving, Elephant Clan asshats are any better, any different, than their Donkey Clan counterparts. It's a distinction without a difference. If this amnesty scheme doesn't make you mad as hell, you're in a coma. Wake the hell up before it's too damn late. A Korrectnik View of Crime With the "Tookie" Williams melodrama on the jello-spined wimp front burner, PIG will boldly go where nobody else dares to venture. We think it's time to explore the vision of crime and punishment that pinheads like Mike Farrell, and others of his ilk, seem to favor. With our tongue firmly lodged in our cheek, PIG offers you this preview of politically correct justice. The primary whine these caterwauling cretins spout seems to opine that Tookie - and various other malefactors - are victims of what Amerika's Euro-centric majority calls its "Criminal Justice System". These champions of the oppressed demand the complete eradication of the word 'criminal' from the Amerikan lexicon. Furthermore, these peabrains denounce this divisive word as overtly judgmental, prejudicial and a blatant intrusion on the rights of ethically-challenged victims of society (Euro-centric oppressors defame these social outcasts with the term 'criminals'). It's Euro-centric culture that turns innocent victims of an oppressive society into alleged "criminals." We're shocked, shocked, I tell you. To illustrate the inherent injustice of the existing system, let's examine some headline-making examples of so-called criminal conduct: Charles Manson Politically-correct view: Charles is a heroic social revolutionary who challenged Euro-centric dogma with the one tool at his disposal: violence. The product of a disastrously 'dysfunctional' home, young Charles became a 'survivor' of societal oppression at an early age. His revolutionary views were forged in the blast furnace of his tragic childhood, leading to his epic struggle for social justice in the closing years of the 1960s. Now viewed as a true visionary, Charles is lauded by certain enlightened NO-NADS for his 'empowerment' of women. Don't forget, his most significant 'accomplishments' were carried out, primarily, by females. Jeffrey Dalhmer Politically-correct view: He's a tragic victim of Amerikan homophobia. A champion of cultural diversity, Jeffrey honored the tribal customs of classic Native cultures like the Aztecs of Central America, the Kwakiutl tribe in Western Canada, plus the famous Ngbe (Leopard Society of Sierre Leone, Africa) through the time honored ritual of cannibalism. Mikey Jackson Politically-correct view: The victim of a domineering father, poor Mikey is trying desperately to recapture the childhood he never got to have. Mikey is a child in a man's body and is the classic example of arrested emotional development. He's not a pervert or a pedophile, he's a lost child crying out for help. Scott Peterson Politically-correct view: He's a victim of Amerika's patriarchal culture, since his "crime" involved him doing what every other Amerikan male secretly wants to do. He got swept up by his patriarchal fervor and acted out the exploitive portrayals of womyn with which Amerika's patriarchal society saturates so-called Amerikan culture. Deeply scarred by this oppressor-dominated society, Scott needs to be relocated to a mental facility where he can get the help he needs to give him a healthier, socially-acceptable view of womyn. Robert Blake Politically-correct view: A man who gained fame by portraying a notorious murderer, Robert is a tragic victim of Amerika's celebrity-worshiping culture. No longer at the pinnacle of the entertainment industry, Robert was thrown on the scrap heap, by an egregiously ageist culture. Robert's anti-social solution to his marital woes was enabled by Amerika's obsession with celebrity. Amerika made Robert what he became, so his acquittal was a rare example of socially-conscious justice. Stanley "Tookie" Willams Politically-correct view: Born into poverty and denied his rightful place in Amerikan society by unrelenting white tyranny, Tookie was forced to seek brotherhood among his fellow victims. Founding the Crips wasn't an antisocial act; it was his only way survive in Amerika's racist society. His crime needs to be put in context and understood as a cry for help. Executing the redeemed, newly enlightened man Tookie has become would be the real crime. Tookie isn't a murderer who deserves to be executed. Tookie is a hero who overcame Amerika's suffocating racism and emerged as a role model for all other Melanin-Enriched victims of poverty, racism and white tyranny. All this sentimental slop is giving us a headache. While you bask in the afterglow of PIG's glorious prose, we're going to crack open a brewskie and chill while we wait for the aforementioned scumbags to get the Euro-centric retribution they richly deserve. That's gotta elicit a rousing "Amen" from the choir. |
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Copyright 1993-2006 PIG - The Politically Incorrect Gazette
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