During the prime Grinch Season that starts immediately after Halloween Night and runs thru New Year's Day, PIG will keep you up to date - to the best of our ability - on the antics perpetrated by those seasonal pests, the Grinches.

PIG thinks Scrooge had the right idea, but picked on the wrong target, when he vowed to 'drive a stake of holly through their hearts'. That sounds like a good beginning but shoving a King Kong size candy cane where the sun don't shine sounds like a much better fate to inflict on these pests who seem determined to expunge the Christmas spirit.

PIG promises to do it's best to cover all those pirme Grinch antics: the bans on trees, the hysteria over manger scenes, the panty twisting over the word 'Christmas', and all the other insanity.

Tis the season to be jolly and PIG won't allow these Grinch asshats to spoil it for us.

Red Cross Goes All In On Grinchiness

If you were planning to honor this season of gift giving by donating some extra money to the Red Cross, you might want to rethink that charitable act, especially if you live in J.O.E. (Jolly Old England, and you should know it by now). Why? In an outburst of willful Grinchiness, a decree came down from on high (Red Cross HQ in London) which banished all traces of Christmas from 430 Red Cross fund raising outposts throughout J.O.E.

Here, for those who can stomach it, is the bull crap pooped out by a Red Cross spokeshole:

"The Red Cross is a neutral organisation and we don't want to be aligned with any political party or particular philosophy. We don't want to be seen as a Christian or Islamic or Jewish organisation because that might compromise our ability to work in conflict situations around the world. In shops people can put up decorations like tinsel or snow which are seasonal. But the guidance is that things representative of Christmas cannot be shown." (Daily Mail)

I’ve got a hot flash for this fool. For Jihadikazes, there’s no such thing as ‘neutral’. For them, if you’re not Islamikaze, you’re the enemy, an enemy that must be eradicated. By trying to appease the unappeasable, all the Red Cross is doing is alienating its friends, for NOTHING!

As fun as this sounds, it gets much better, because in a fit of jaw-dropping hypocrisy, the Red Cross’s line of ‘for profit’sales items include ‘Christmas cards featuring angels and wise men and Advent calendars with nativity scenes’. Okay, so they’re hypocrites, it’s a small price to pay for thrilling Islamikazes spitless, isn't it? It all hinges on the Islamikaze reaction which isn’t, in at least one instance, light years away from thrilled spitless.

The unintentionally ironic, fun, fact is this: a Mecca Maniac, Labour Party Elected Tormentor Lord Ahmed, seems to think the Brit Red Cross has its head up its ass, over this Islamikaze appeasement:

"It is stupid to think Moslems would be offended...In my business all my staff celebrate Christmas and I celebrate with them. It is absolutely not the case that Christmas could damage the Red Cross reputation for neutrality - I think their people have gone a little bit over the top." (Daily Mail)

The primary consequences of this Red Cross Grinchiness are the unintended ones. In addition to alienating its friends, the Red Cross Grinches are earning derision from the Islamikazes they’re trying to appease. If Epic Fail is what they had in mind, the Red Cross has the FSOP’s permission to break out the ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner.

Parting shot: The Brit Red Cross’s knee-jerk Korrectness is just the tip of the iceberg, because higher up the food chain - the Swiss-based International Red Cross - Korrectness has reached such a fever pitch, the charity was frantically seeking something, anything, to replace its famous icon, the white cross. That effort a was abandoned - allegedly - several years ago, due to a tidal wave of blowback.

Federal Reserve Grinches

The bank examiners from the Federal Reserve were channeling their inner Grinch, when they arrived in Perkins (Oklahoma) last week. Since it had been four years since the regulators last invasion, the minions at the local banks had probably forgotten what a pain in the ass a job for life bureaucrat can be, when it comes to enforcing the devilish details of all those asinine Nanny State regulations.

This time around, the federal pests veered off the usual accounting-related path, and ventured into some unexpected territory. The regulatory speed bump that had their panties in a wad is this government gibberish:

‘...the discouragement clause of Regulation B of the bank regulations. According to the clause, "...the use of words, symbols, models and other forms of communication ... express, imply or suggest a discriminatory preference or policy of exclusion."...’ (KOCO)

So what? So plenty, because these job for life pests interpret it to mean, in the bank’s case, that they can’t deploy anything which would offend and/or discriminate against the differently-Christian. In the case of one Perkins bank, it meant the following items had to be expunged from the money emporium: the Bible verse of the day, including the one on the bank’s Internet site; the crosses at the teller’s windows; the buttons that say "Merry Christmas, God With Us".

Admittedly this isn’t garden variety Grinchiness, but it’s close enough for me, and I’m the decider, in these cases.

Parting shot: Pissed, and who can blame them, the bank sought the help of at least two Oklahoma Legicrats, U.S. Congressman Frank Lucas, U.S. Senator James Inhofe. Stay tuned, this fight might not be over.

UPDATE: The two Legicrats came through for the bank. They turned up the heat until the regulators beat a hasty retreat:

The outcry forced Fed officials to reverse the action, clarifying that the personal religious items displayed by bank employees in Perkins, Okla., did not violate a provision of the Equal Credit Opportunity Act.

A spokesman for Inhofe said Fed officials returned to the bank Friday to inform employees they could put the religious items back on display. (The Hill)

Inclusive Grinchiness

For the last 15 years - give or take - the Eggheads infesting an Ivory Tower - Southern Illinois University - were entertained by the Christmas carols coming from the school’s clock tower. No harm, no foul? It sounds like it, but, as usual, there’s the rest of the story.

It started the way it always does, when somebody complained about the music, but this wasn’t garden variety Grinchiness. This whine came from that Ivory Tower pestilence, an embedded Korrectnik, who castigated the Christmas music for ‘not being inclusive’. If you need that translated, I’m up to the challenge. The Christmas music was egregiously infused with elements of Western Culture, and we all know how much Korrectniks despise THAT.

A spokeshole for the Ivory Tower put this stinker in context, by spouting this Korrectnik drivel:

"We have a large number of African-American students at Southern Illinois University and we would want to be as inclusive as we can." (University Chancellor Rita Cheng, as quoted by Fox News)

Does that mean they’re playing Kwanza carols, whatever the hell that entails? Apparently, because it’s the Korrectnik thing to do.

Parting shot: It this Ivory Tower really wants to be ‘inclusive’, they’ll put Bob Rivers’ ‘Twisted Christmas’ on their clock tower music playlist. I’m just sayin’.

If you visit the St. George Ferry Terminal, on Staten Island (New York) and are filled with the Christmas spirit, you’ll be pleased to see a Christmas tree inside the terminal. You might be just as pleased to see the menorah. But, if you’re a regular, you’ll be bummed to note that the Nativity scene that was there, last time you visited is gone.

Has Grinchiness reared its ugly head? It certainly seems that way. If you wonder what happened, join the club. There are two stories circulating. The first story tells of a complaint to the city Department of Transportation (DOT) which resulted in the Nativity scene’s removal. Another story - the official DOT version - seems more plausible:

The DOT version explains that an employee brought in the Nativity scene and set it up in the public area of the terminal, without authorization.

DOT spokesman Seth Solomonow said the display was removed because the agency hadn’t given permission for it to be there.

The crèche was placed there by "staff," he said, and was removed by ferry personnel. He said there was no 311 complaint [311 is the city hotline]. Solomonow did not say exactly who had put up the display.

"Yes, Staten Island, there will still be Christmas trees and menorahs at the ferry terminals," said Solomonow. "We find that Staten Islanders can agree that these holiday symbols enliven our terminals and will continue to [do so] throughout the holidays."

Solomonow said the "DOT put up an inclusive display for the holiday season that was consistent both with traditions at the ferry terminal and also with legal precedent."

A city source said that menorahs are not considered religious symbols, according to legal precedent. (Staten Island Advance)

A menorah isn’t religious? Seriously? Some Grinchy rat bastard is smoking crack!

West Village (Big Apple)

The caterwauling killjoys are working overtime, this year, and their relentless bitching, moaning and complaining is really starting to piss me off. They toppled Christmas trees - including a 6 foot tall weed plant that was ‘multitasking’. They evicted Nativity scenes. They even banned the colors red and green because they’re too Christmas-oriented. They did all that, and more, but I didn’t go postal, until now. Now, the rat bastards have gone TOO FAR.

If you live in the Big Apple and were planning to take some tykes down to see Santa at the 14th St. McBurney YMCA, you’re in for a nasty shock. In a fit of politically correct Grinchiness, the suits at the YMCA told Santa and his elves to hit the road. In his place you’ll find Frosty the Snowman and his penguin pal, neither of whom give a rat’s ass what your tyke wants for Christmas.

If you’re thinking ‘fired’, ‘sacked’, ‘pink slipped’, when it comes to Old St. Nick, I’m with you. If you expect the Korrectnik Grinches at this YMCA to admit it, don’t hold your breath:

YMCA officials, who say they are in the midst of "rebranding" the Young Men's Christian Association to "The Y," defended their decision.

"It wasn't replacing; it was transitioning," said John Rappaport, executive director of the McBurney YMCA. "We realized that change is sometimes good, and that Frosty is a great winter character who would appeal to a broader number of kids."

The decision to ditch Father Christmas came down from McBurney branch administration, not the Y's Chicago headquarters. (NY Post)

Does this Rappaport cretin give a damn about this outraged driven blowback aimed at his outpost of Grinchiness? I’ll let you be the judge:

Director Rappaport offered an olive branch to critics, insisting that everyone is welcome today -- even "Santa . . . if he's in town." (NY Post)

Director Rappaport can take his olive branch...an entire olive tree and ram it up his Grinch f-ing bastard ass

Badge-Packing German Grinches

A German stoner was feeling the joy, joy, joy - along with assorted other things - of the Christmas season, until some badge-packing grinches showed up to spoil his PIGish spin on Christmas decor. Obviously, certain badge packers need a stern talking to from the Jolly Old Elf - he’s Father Christmas across the pond.

For some reason, the proper authorities have unresolved issues with an Advent calendar which has a stash of weed behind each little door, instead of chocolate. Unsophisticated brutes, the German authorities didn’t appreciate our stoner’s enhancement to traditional Christmas decorations. I’m betting you’ll be as shocked as I am, that the police didn’t see the seasonal splendor of a six-foot tall marijuana plant that was festooned with all the trappings commonly found on the ubiquitous Christmas tree.

Instead of rewarding our hero’s creativity, the badge packing killjoys carted our stoner off to a local graybar on drug possession charges. It’s just like a Grinch to suffocate a dude’s high flying Christmas spirits.

The scene of this crime is the entire Florida pay for play road system that is administered by Florida Turnpike Enterprise. The crime itself is a simple one - simple minded is more accurate. On Friday, the turnpike was ‘Tis the Season’ festive, with a Christmas tree and garland brightening up the central Florida Toll Plaza window. By Saturday, a black cloud of grinchiness hovered ominously over every toll booth in the state’s turnpike system.

What happened? It’s an annoyingly familiar story about free ranging grinches who whined, whimpered, and blubbered about the festive seasonal decor. Predictably, the cringing cretins high on the turnpike system food chain didn’t have the stones to tell the chronically offended to STFU. Instead, they went gutless and girlie, by banishing the festive Christmas flourishes to the grinchiness penalty box, for the duration of the Christmas, Grinchmas season:

A spokesperson for Florida Turnpike Enterprise says the state had to ban all decorations this year after drivers started to complain. Apparently more people were upset by what they saw in the office windows than ever before.

It's not just Christmas decorations. The state says the new rule covers all decorations for all religions and all holidays...

The state says it comes down to money. It has to be fair to all people of all beliefs and it can't go out and buy decorations for everyone's holidays, so the easiest thing was to get rid of decorations altogether. (WTSP)

If Flori-DUH is so impoverished that it can’t afford to pay for decorations for all the year’s holidays, the solution is simple. Let the employees bring in their own seasonally-correct decorations, while stipulating that they must not interfere with getting those tolls collected. Why don’t they do that? They don’t do it, because they’re exactly what they appear to be: a bunch of killjoy assholes who enjoy these outbursts of petty tyranny.

Attention Flori-DUH PIGsters: Your turnpike system is run by a bunch of Christmas hating assholes. What are YOU going to do about THAT?

Empire State Grinchiness
In this instance, the Grinch is a paid enforcer for the village of Lindenhurst on Long Island. While the aforementioned enforcer was goose-stepping along one of the village byways, he, she, heshe, or it passed home whose entire front yard is tricked out with an ‘elaborate’ (so sayeth a Fox affiliate) array of Christmas decorations.

Did this paid enforcer admire the handiwork of homeowner Mary Groth? ‘Admire’ might not be the operative word for the paid enforcer’s response. Mary learned of the paid enforcer’s visit when she received two summonses:

Summons 1 - Some of her gingerbread men and toy soldiers were too close to the street, putting them ‘technically’ on the village’s property.

Summons 2 - She was also ticketed for ‘having unlicensed electrical wiring on her lawn. This refers to all the extension cords which power her display.

The salient fact about Mary’s display is this: she uses it to raise money for charity, by accepting donations from passersby. That money will come in handy, after the village grinches nail Mary Groth with a hefty fine.

Parting shot: If Mary's Christmas decorations are the biggest problem in Lindenhurst, life is good. The grinches on the city payroll need to get over themselves and get on with their lives. Their first order of business: PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES, GRINCH BREATH!

Iowa Grinches
The Christmas season made landfall at Ames High School, when someone donated the cess-school a pine tree for it’s winter dance. Festooned with red and gold lights and ornaments, it was a delightfully festive, seasonally appropriate bit of decor. Two days later, after spending quality time in the school’s cafeteria, the tree which school officials had downgraded to ‘holiday tree’ disappeared. Was it the work of prank-minded Ames High inmates? Nope. Was it the work of some out of control, Christmas hating hooligans? You bet, but not the way you think.

According to the usual cess-school apologists, the holiday tree was removed after some caterwauling cretins phoned the school to complain about the offensive tree in the cafeteria. Predictably, the relevant cess-school officials didn’t have much to say for themselves when a news crew from the local NBC affiliate asked them about it.

Eventually the stonewalling gave way to a mealymouthed response from the district’s principal who told a local fishwrap:

“I didn’t want this to become a distraction that would take away from the precious time we have to educate students. We decided it would be best to take down the tree.” (NBC)

What a spineless, nadless, piece of crap! How hard would it be to tell the chronically offended to STFU and get over it? How hard would it be to give the students conclusive proof that, at Ames High, there’s no such thing as the right not be offended. Finally, how hard would it be to call the f-ing thing a CHRISTMAS TREE!