When I'm riding in my car, working on my computer at home or
reading, I usually have a boom box on as 'background noise'. Given the
sorry state to which radio has fallen, that usually - but not always -
means I'm channeling Vast Right-Wingnut Conspiracy dominated talk
radio. Why talk radio when, since I reside in, or near, a major radio
market, I have so
many choices? Good question, but I have the answer. (The following
notions are based on my personal radio listening experience. If
they don't apply to you, that's tough darts and I suggest that you get
Key Boom Box Babblers
|Syndicated Boom Box
Babblers of Note:
Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh
• Best Lefty
• Best Bomb-Throwing Host:
• Most Likely To Make
• Most Likely To Make
Host You Never Heard:
• Top Elephant Clan Cheerleader:
• Most Egregious Self-Promoter:
Here then, are the sorry-ass boom box facts:
Scanning a big city radio dial sounds like a stroll down the
hallways at the U.N. English language programming is, no shit, an
endangered species. In addition to a tidal wave of Colonista stations,
my radio affliction has numerous, utterly incomprehensible lotus clan
did America become a third world country?
Musically, radio is pathetic, at best. Real music died the
day the best heavy metal station in the known universe went Colonista.
Now I'm left with two dominant musical
flavors: Colonista, Oldies. Musically-speaking radio turbo
[expletive deleted] sucks and that's a no shit fact. The least annoying
musical option is a classical music station that
makes my prose flow, unlike the more annoying alternatives.
Three formats provide the necessary drive time diversion: All
news stations; all sports stations; all talk stations. The first two
supply necessary information, but neither is a selection that will tide
you over during a long commute. That's why talk radio is the hottest
ticket on your radio dial. At present my AM dial has two all news
three all sports stations, a couple lefty lipflapping stations and
three vast Right-Wingnut conspirator
stations, giving the commuter several listening options.
The lunatic left can't understand why talk radio is so damn
popular but you don't need to be a brain surgeon to answer that one.
Musically, radio turbo sucks. Since most Americans don't speak Spanish
or lotus clan jibber-jabber, that leaves the three viable choices as:
news, sports or talk radio. News is fine, for the first 30 minutes, but
once you get the headlines, the weather report, the scores and a
traffic report, it's time for a change.. Sports can be diverting, but,
eventually, you get your fill of that, too. That leaves the vast
Right-Wingnut conspirators on talk radio to divert you during your
commute or while you putter around the house. Finally, we're prepared
to answer our question about talk radio's popularity: It's popular
because, given the alternatives, it's the least annoying option. In
other words, it's slightly better than nothing.
Better than nothing...but, is nothing a fate worse than
death? Truth be told, with a few notable exceptions, vast Right-Wingnut
conspirators make me go postal, when taken in doses longer than 15-20
minutes at a time. After
a while, it sounds like certain VRWC boom box hosts are repeating the
same show, over, and over, and over. If you've heard one Hannity
you've heard them all, but he's not the Lone Ranger when it comes to
In other ways, it's hard to distinguish one VRWC show from
the next. These vast Right-Wingnuts tend to
pile on, spewing virtually identical drivel about the same, loony
liberal sin of the moment. I feel their pain, but enough is enough.
Can't we simply stipulate that certain lefty assholes - Blithering
Bobby Byrd, Messiah Barry, San Fran Nan Pelosi, Dingy Harry Reid, and
all their bellowing neo-Marxist cohorts - are a waste of
breathable air and get on with our lives? Is that too much to ask? The
answer, sadly, is yes, but, as usual, there's one final option.
Those who can't stand silence will probably call this
'extreme' radio, but I can live with that. When I'm up to here with the
pathetic crap oozing from my boom box, I turn the damn thing off. Being
a relentlessly-creative pagan, I spin soon-to-be-infamous scribbler
rants in my head. I know it sounds extreme, but why not give it a try?
Trust me, a silent spell won't end life as you know it.