WARNING: The following is not for Hillary-philes or Humor-phobic haters:

Well, holy Chipoltle's, The Bitch* is back, officially! Yaaaay! Hillary Rodham Clinton, The Third Coming Of The Novelty Known As Barak Obama (Obama.3 on estrogen) has announced she’s tossing her soiled panties into the 2016. This hit The F.S.O.P. completely out of the blue!

How refreshing! Not just a (an alleged) woman running for President on the Democratic ticket, but the “Most uniqueuly qualified woman” Wow! Whodathunk? Hillary? 2016? Presidential candidate running on Boss-Man Obama’s half- white, half-black, half baked “Hope ‘N Change” novelty coat-tails into the depths of further making a laughinstock of America in the world's eyes.

Hambo, Porcus and Staff have been eagerly anticipating this historic moment event longer than a teenage girl…oops, womyn, straddling the phone waiting for the phone call from “Him” on prom night. We’re just so damn giddy, we had to ask ourselves to pinch each other, after we changed our moistened panties.

If you thought Obama’s election (x2 and undoing of America) was a most novel, historic historic moment, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Hillary no doubt will run on the “I’m Entitled” ticket and U.S. Tour, because she’s an alleged womyn, of course, and yes, dammit, it is about time a Womyn ran for the Proletariat, shit, Presidency. The Marxist “From each according to HIS, (oops) her abilities to each according to their HER needs” platform is precisely what Amerca needs after 8 years of the Animal Farm known as Boy Blunder. Don’t ya think?

OMG! A Womyn for United States President? At this point, “What does it matter?” It’s a womyn, and that’s all that counts, right? And in her words, she is “uniquely qualified” and top that off with her being “the most intelligent woman on the planet,” how the Hell can America lose, right?

Well, after Hambo and Porcus got done blow drying the wet stains from our once cast iron panties, PIG’s Staff bitch-slapped us down to Planet Earth, and more specifically, America and informed us that if we were going to hitch a ride on the Hillary bandwagon, we need to be highly sensitive in our use of adjectives in describing her, it, whatever.

As publisher, I, Porcus hereby issue the following decree when referring to Komrade Hillary. Henceforth, and PIG props to the HRC Super Vols for reminding us American made Old Glory-wavers that still stand while we pee, that Hillary will not and won’t be described with the following ‘Sexist’ terms on the pages of The Free State Of PIG, as if we or anyone else needed to be reminded:

“Polarizing”
“Calculating”
Disingenuous
“Insincere”
“Ambitious”
“Inevitable”
“Entitled”
“Over-confident”
“Secretive”
 “Will do anything to win”
“Represents the past”
 “Out of touch”

Normally, we would be a little more than mad that Shrillary’s Super Vols laid down these rules of engagement, probably with the blood from their crusty tampons, but we’re up for their ante and are willing to refer to their playbook. But a huge omission on their end was former “First Lady” a moniker Hillary will no doubt use when reminding people of her 8 years in squatter status during her occupation of the White House.

Talk about an oxymoronic set of rules to play by. Hillary wants soooooooo bad to be President and chop off America’s nuts and fuck with our First Amendment Free Speech clause, yet, her Super Vols staff draws a line in the sand and lays down that load of suckage.

Remember PIGsters, DO NOT use those words, terms or even hint of those thoughts when sending in your Clintonian-related feedback. But PIG, being champions of free thought and speech DO indeed recommend the following terms and you don’t need to be a Shakespearean-level scribe or even have much of an imagination to use the following recommended terms and remember, you these as a noun, or even pronoun when referring to her Cuntness or her Campaign For Clitocracy:

Terms No’s. 1-Infiniti:

A (fill-in-the-blank) BITCH

Sorry for the lack of creativity, but it’s the first and usually always only word that comes to mind, after, Commie, Pinko, Liar, Back-stabber, Dyke, S&M Dominatrix, et. al. So please, PIGsters, for once, have respect for PIG’s extra-left-wing special editorial policy and don’t use those terms. But if you happen to stoop to such a level and submit anything Shrillary related, we ask very kindly, especially you, Hambo, to tap into your own inner-Bitch and let ‘er rip.

If you ever wanted to know how the other half is going to live under a Hillary run Amerika on the rag, get used to saving up your ration cards and sparking up some muey primo Havana’s and chase it down with some force fed Kool-Aid laced rot-gut Ruskie vodka, and low-grade Iranian caviar, at The State’s expense, of course, and witness, on these pages of PIG, the further demise of America. Watch in horror and comic relief how PIG will chronicle the antics, sound bites of the delusional dolts and parasites that nibble away at America’s fabric that Hillary will no doubt continually feed upon. That and low-info voters' propensity to fall sway to The Bitch* 

If you thought Obama (Dumb) was a tough act to follow, this Bitch* (Dumber) takes the cake, eats it and wipes her raggedy, saggy jowls with what’s left of your shirtsleeves and will leave American’s to cleanup her crumbs. The jockstrap she thinks she has to fill is miniscule compared to the stinky diapers America will be forced to change under her regime.

Hey, wake up America! Get used to pee sitting down and witness America’s toilet clog up and fill to capacity with this Bitch* and her bales of bullshit, lies, and convenient memory lapses if she’s elected. American’s will be afforded the advantage of having doors to the slaughterhouse opened wide for us with her foreign policy track record.

How do we propose to “Beat The Bitch?” Simple. Tune in to PIG, make fun of her pant-suits and roll over in laughter as we pledge to do our darndest to pull down HER pants.

Remember, PIGsters, be sure you email PIG at our address, not Hillary's. She has convenient memory (Banghazi, White Water, Vince Foster...) lapses and can't be trusted.

Seriously. If Hillary is the answer to anyone’s questions, we pity the fools and America.

*Bitch (adj): Any one who is not otherwise referred to as the following listed above terms.

See also: Insult to female dogs.

Now the fun begins with Hambo's always insightful and initial comments:

Hambo's Random Shrillary Thoughts

* Is it just me, or is there a pronounced hostility in Porcus' beat the bitch meltdown?

* I could do without the mental image generated by his vow to pull down her pants and expose her.

* Is anyone else a tad troubled over the fun fact that, as First Dude, career horndog Bubba will have a clear shot at the wives and daughters of visiting heads of state?

* If Shrillary is trying for Obama in drag, it will be a tough row to hoe since she's just a vile, foul tempered Harpy who doesn't have Barry's well documented Malignant Narcissism to hide behind.

* Is it too soon to run 'just shoot the insane bitch' up the flag pole. Probably, besides which she's such a hard core Harpy that bullets might just bounce off.

Last word: Shrillary is going 'all in' on her Oval Office run, and so is PIG, because you know the Pachyderm Punks don't have the balls to put her feet to the fire.

PIGsters we promise to deliver nothing but the best and most most deservedly earned Bitch-slaps.

FROM FACEBOOK

ACTUALLY, HELL NO!!!!

ABOVE IT ALL

TOON TIME!

QUALIFICATIONS

NOW THAT BERNIE'S OUT OF THE PICTURE...

DEPLORABLES = VOTERS

A BASKETFUL OF DEPLORABLES

SAY IT AIN'T SO

GET A ROPE

LET'S PLAY!

JUST IN TIME FOR FATHER'S DAY

FLUSH TWICE! IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE

THE POSSIBILITIES

DOES HILLARY HAVE A BLUE DRESS?

HONOR AMONG THIEVES?

WE'RE GOING TO NEED MORE DUNCE CAPS

HILLARY CLINTON: THE QUEEN OF CRIMINALITY

The FBI is hurrying to avoid announcing any action in the case too close to the presidential election, the report said.
Clinton and her staff were "dedicated addicts" of the BlackBerry device during her tenure as secretary of state, but the device was vulnerable to hacking, reported the Post.

Part of the issue revolves around the officials' attempts to allow Clinton to continue to use the BlackBerry and her personal email account for work.
While Clinton aides and government officials looked into ways to allow her to continue to use the BlackBerry, Clinton continued using it. Officials claim they did not know that it was tied to a personal email server at the Clinton family home in Chappaqua, N.Y., so they did not protect the server against spying, said the Post.

If Hillary Clinton wins the election, she will then control the Department of Justice, including the FBI, and will appoint people friendly to her cause. She will likely escape justice, just as she and her husband always have.

In a way, it's fitting that America will knowingly elect its first openly criminal president. Think about why Hillary's in trouble. She's in trouble because she recklessly and, against the law, used a private, vulnerable computer server to house the nation's most sensitive security information. If a Republican president had even been charged with such offenses, impeachment and resignation would have already occurred, at a minimum, and prosecution would not even be a question. No, she will probably never be held accountable. But isn't that resentful, sneering lack of accountability the way most of the people voting for her feel about themselves, their own lives and therefore their government?

Accountability is a scary thing, at least to an irrational or unhealthy mindset. It means you cannot blame others for your problems, unhappiness or predicament. When you're Hillary, or among the millions who identify with her victim-think, you can always blame others. "Others" might be just a vague abstraction, something you never take the time to define. But Hillary is the place to go if you want to escape personal responsibility.

Think about what we demand and expect our government to do. We expect it to literally make money out of thin air, to run a credit tab too high for anyone to count any longer. ($19 trillion and counting in debt; anyone worried yet?) We talk about taking from some to pay for things we want – goods, services, perks, freebies. We talk about doing so in the name of combating "selfishness." Hillary has made a career out of condemning selfishness. She says it's selfish of people who have money to want to keep what's theirs, when (she claims) they should be giving it away. What about those getting the loot? Whether they're poor or middle class (most of them are the latter), isn't it selfish of those getting the redistributed or borrowed loot to want it?

Somehow, selfishness is bad and wrong in one case, and virtuous in another. When you go out and make an honest living, or even a fortune, and wish to keep it, then you're considered greedy, evil and selfish. When you get largesse from the government, it's virtue. It's just one of the many contradictions of the welfare state. It all makes sense if you look at it from one point-of-view: personal power, for people like Hillary Clinton. Of course she's criminal, because what we expect her to do – redistribute wealth — is criminal. Or it should be.

Hillary is the perfect queen of the welfare state. She's modern day royalty. She accepts and enjoys no accountability for anything she does. She looks with contempt on a world that lets her get away with it. She's an ugly, soulless creature. Like any criminal personality, she feels entitled to what's hers, and entitled to use whatever means she must to acquire and attain her power. She's obviously no good. But how much better is she than the majority who support and demand that she does what she does? For those of us who endorse the welfare state, she is our pimp.

Keep all this in mind, just in case Hillary wins the presidency and you find yourself wondering how. If she does, it will only be because she's the perfect representative of the people most Americans have sadly become.

Dr. Hurd

NOT QUITE JAILHOSE ROCK

For your musical pleasure...

>>> Federal Prison Blues >>>

REMANDED?

SPARE US, PINHEAD

BARF BAG, PLEEEEEZE!!!!

Whatever 'White Privilege' is, here it is, as explained by Hillary. I suppose she was caught with her pants suit down in a rare white guilt moment.

>>> Being White >>>

LONELY MAN ON A BEACH

A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed-by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton. That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual.

It was another beautiful evening – red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze – perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave-in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Take the dog for a walk.'

A PORT-A-POTTY GIFT TO HILLARY FROM THE F.S.O.P. -
( FOR HER NEXT DEBATE)

SELECTIVE MEMORY LOSS

A LOSING HAND

TURDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER

BE CAREFUL NOT TO STEP IN IT

LAUGH CLOWN, LAUGH

Donald Trump issued the following campaign ad aimed right at the woman that dare follow in Nero's footsteps and laughs while the world around her goes up in smoke.

>>> The Cackler >>>

BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

MEMORIES

FACIAL TIME!

DIVERSITY...OF INCOME, THAT IS

WHORE

HYPOCRISY FOR SALE

SPAMMED

REMINDERS

BERNIN' ISSUES

NIGHTMARES

PROPPED AND PREPPED

WOLVES GUARDING THE HEN HOUSE?

A REAL TROOPER

STINKY

A real piece of work.At her best or worst. Feel sorry for those that are dumb enough to waste their time wasting their vote on her her and the ex-dudes pussy-whipped and pressured to even consider "IT"

Link

>>> She sucks >>>

TEXTURAL RELATIONS

CHASTE IS WASTE, HUH BILL?

BARF BAG, PLEASE!

A LIVING HELL ON WHEELS

TOON TIME!

ENJOYING RETIREMENT

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a store. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, “Come on, man. How about giving a retired person a break”? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a “Nazi.” He glared at me and started writing another ticket for “having worn tires”. So I called him a “member of the doughnut eating Gestapo.” He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn’t care. I came downtown on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said “I'm Ready For Hillary 2016.”

I try to have a little fun each day now that I’m retired.

IS IT HALLOWEEN ALREADY?

CHARITY, CLINTON STYLE

A NEW FRAGRANCE

Click below for a healthy whiff of Hillary

>>> Skank >>>

FROM LONGTIME PIGSTER SWINE FLEW

QUOTE TIME!

The following quote is attributed to CEO Cheryl Rios on 'Her Highnesses.'

“If this happens — I am moving to Canada. There is NO need for her as she is not the right person to run our country — but more importantly a female shouldn’t be president… Let the haters begin … but with the hormones we have, there is no way we should be able to start a war. Yes I run my own business and I love it and I am great at it BUT that is not the same as being the president, that should be left to a man, a good, strong, honorable man.”